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No alcohol......?

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beentogether9ye... Posts : 53 Registered: 10/7/08
No alcohol......?
Posted: Oct 15, 2008 12:08 PM

I have seen too many weddings ruined by people drinking too much.  We were thinking of having champagne to toast with but nothing else.  The majority of my family drinks socially (his family does not) and I don't want them to feel uptight but at the same time I don't want an embarassment.  Any thoughts? 

connecticut , october_2009
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myra Posts : 5,555 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: No alcohol......?
Posted: Oct 15, 2008 2:14 PM Go to message in response to: beentogether9ye...

If you don't want alcohol, don't have it. There are many ways to keep drinks interesting (mocktails, punch, unusual sodas, coffee and tea bars) without alcohol. One thing that could work is to have a non-dinner time reception. Alcohol is much less expected at a morning breakfast or brunch, luncheon, afternoon tea, or late evening "Just Desserts" reception.

myra at www.classysassyweddings.com

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08divabride Posts : 832 Registered: 11/17/07
Re: No alcohol......?
Posted: Oct 15, 2008 2:24 PM Go to message in response to: beentogether9ye...

If you trust that your family are social drinkers and won't get out of hand, then you can have alcohol.  If you do not feel comfortable, then don't have it, your reception will be fine without it, and your guests will still enjoy themselves.

wedding ticker

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MrsMcCain Posts : 581 Registered: 10/24/07
Re: No alcohol......?
Posted: Oct 15, 2008 2:37 PM Go to message in response to: beentogether9ye...

Normally social drinkers do not cause problems, it is the people that drink more often and a lot. However, it is your wedding and if you are that worried then don't have alcohol. I had beer/wine only at my reception and that worked out great b/c no one did shots and noone got "completely hammered". You know your guests better than anyone so do what you think is in their best interest, but most of all what will make you and your fiance happy that day.

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beentogether9ye... Posts : 53 Registered: 10/7/08
Re: No alcohol......?
Posted: Oct 15, 2008 3:14 PM Go to message in response to: myra

Thanks for all of your replies.  I like the tea bar idea a lot!  Punch would be fun too. 

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CyclistLover Posts : 1,184 Registered: 7/9/07
Re: No alcohol......?
Posted: Oct 21, 2008 2:02 PM Go to message in response to: beentogether9ye...

I had beer and wine at my reception.  Typically it's the hard liquor that turns people into idiots.

Happiness is a puppy greeting you at the door!

I hope you don't get hit by a city bus Cool

 

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LissaNicole Posts : 39 Registered: 7/10/08
Re: No alcohol......?
Posted: Oct 25, 2008 6:54 PM Go to message in response to: beentogether9ye...

We've decided to opt out on the alcohol because 1. it cuts down on the cost 2. his family is Church of Christ (not strict, but still COC nonetheless) and 3. we just don't see the point.

We're going to have punch (sparkling grape juice mixed with some sort of juice).

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LovingAli Posts : 1 Registered: 11/7/08
Re: No alcohol......?
Posted: Nov 12, 2008 6:02 PM Go to message in response to: CyclistLover

 

I totally agree with the beer and wine! Beer is filling and who guzzles wine? lol So you can save cost, and keep out the hard liquer throw backers!! I'm having the same issue, for me it's the cost...open bar or not...I hate this part of the planning, it's hard always worrying what people are going to say about your reception. It's so hard to make everyone happy!

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emilyh2e Posts : 1 Registered: 8/29/08
Re: No alcohol......?
Posted: Nov 12, 2008 8:16 PM Go to message in response to: beentogether9ye...

my fiance is a recovering alchoholic, and basically since he cant drink nobody else is going to have the option either and i do worry a bit about what people will think but his well being is my priority. there are other options like mocktails and punch we are having a fall wedding and im strongly thinking that im going to go with apple cider, both hot and cold. i believe that comes in sparkling as well. anyway i dont think there is anything wrong with not having alcohol; its your party do what you think is best for the two of you! also if anybody else has good non alcoholic drink options id love to hear them!

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Cassiopeia Posts : 85 Registered: 1/1/09
Re: No alcohol......?
Posted: Jan 21, 2009 12:25 AM Go to message in response to: beentogether9ye...

My grooms father was a violent and abusive drunk, who has since died from his alchoholism. Because of his experiences he has actually developed a fear of drunk people. We will be serving no alcohol, not even for a toast. I know that many people in my family will have a problem with this, but to keep anyone from saying anything we are going to find an alcholism related charity, donate money, and have little cards at each place settings that say something like: "Are you wondering where the bar is? We've donated the money we would have spent on open bar to charity in memory of grooms father."

And yeah, everyone who would be attending knows what happened to him.

october_2009 , connecticut
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RanAway2Maine Posts : 2,359 Registered: 1/27/08
Re: No alcohol......?
Posted: Jan 21, 2009 5:22 AM Go to message in response to: Cassiopeia

Cass-

The donation idea in honor of the groom's father is a fantastic idea. I can really appreciate that plan, being a recovering alcoholic myself. Have you thought about where? Perhaps an affiliation to a rehab, detox or a long term recovery home?

I just had to comment on that great idea. It's a great way to honor his Dad.

Hope you have a wonderful wedding!


july_2008 , october_2009 , connecticut , new_hampshire
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Cassiopeia Posts : 85 Registered: 1/1/09
Re: No alcohol......?
Posted: Jan 21, 2009 6:09 AM Go to message in response to: RanAway2Maine

RanAway-

No, we haven't found a charity. Locally we do have a rehabillitation center. One thing I was wondering is if we should go for something local, or look for a national charity. I don't even have a date or a venue yet, so no worries. :)

Serving alcohol, and having people get drunk at our wedding was one of the things my guy was actually afraid of though. So I brought up this idea and he really loved it. I saw that someone else did something similar on a forum (But she happened to work for the alcoholism-recovery related charity).

july_2008 , october_2009 , connecticut , new_hampshire
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RanAway2Maine Posts : 2,359 Registered: 1/27/08
Re: No alcohol......?
Posted: Jan 21, 2009 10:08 AM Go to message in response to: Cassiopeia

Did you FH's Dad enter into any of those local rehabs? Maybe you could look into that? I know that rehabs across the country are hurting for money. A lot of them are for indigent people and are free. Those are the ones you should think about. They've really helped me in my recovery process, thanks to people like you!

 

 

 

 

 

july_2008 , october_2009 , connecticut , new_hampshire
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Cassiopeia Posts : 85 Registered: 1/1/09
Re: No alcohol......?
Posted: Jan 21, 2009 8:57 PM Go to message in response to: RanAway2Maine

He used AA towards the very end, but as for local rehab programs? He and his family lived pretty far away from mine during that time. He never really entered in to any full-out rehab programs, and I don't know much about them other than where the closest one is (because it's sort of near my Gym).

I would be very open to suggestions. :) Honestly alcoholism has never been an issue in my family so I don't really know much. I have a family that involves alcohol at most social events, but no one ever really gets drunk.

october_2009 , connecticut , july_2008 , new_hampshire
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