Wedding-Related: Why I can't handle the Duggars

Online Users: 1,237 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 89


PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Wedding-Related: Why I can't handle the Duggars
Posted: Oct 12, 2008 7:03 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

No problem, I realized I wasn't clear.  :-)

Yeah, as a single parent my Mom would have never been able to do more with school for us.  And my Dad wasn't there.

Not that we could have afforded private school anyway.


Reply


CatStandish Posts : 2,766 Registered: 6/20/08
Re: Wedding-Related: Why I can't handle the Duggars
Posted: Oct 12, 2008 8:22 PM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

I was actually referring to the enforcing parents to do thing of the PP.  But then again, as I'm watching this show, I guess the private schools can require a certain amount of participation from the parents in school activities.

But I don't think that there is any way to enforce parental involvement at home - that's what I was referring, I was curious about the PP statement.

I was not referring to home involvment, but rather time investment at the school.   They can't force mom and dad to sit down at the kitchen  table, but they can (and do) require that the parents commit so many hours per term to the school. 

How? Because if they do not, regardless of the student's grades or conduct, that student will NOT be at that school the next year.  Or might not get to graduate.   There is a long waiting list of students wanting to go to these schools, so they can replace them without any problems.

The same is true of the Magnet Schools, since there are a lot of kids that want to get in there too.


Misty

wedding countdown

Visit our Wedding Website

Reply


PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Wedding-Related: Why I can't handle the Duggars
Posted: Oct 12, 2008 9:12 PM Go to message in response to: CatStandish

Yeah I figured that out.  Course, screws over a single parent right out of the gate.  LOL

In Virginia, the parents do not have to do anything for the Magnet schools.  The kids get in or they don't and stay in if they meet the requirements.


Reply


auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Wedding-Related: Why I can't handle the Duggars
Posted: Oct 12, 2008 10:23 PM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

Dear PTG,

"Course, screws over a single parent right out of the gate.  LOL"

Ehhh.... well maybe maybe not. I would think a private school would consider the parent's situation when requiring parental involvement.

At the school my friend's children attended, for example, there was a great need for parent volunteers at sports games. Those took place in the evenings and on weekends. The single mom could take her whole family to the basketball game, for example, then work in the food booth or at the scoring table.

My friend's husband usually fulfilled his parent volunteer obligations that way. Thus it did not interfere with his day job.

Reply


PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Wedding-Related: Why I can't handle the Duggars
Posted: Oct 12, 2008 10:56 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Ehhh.... well maybe maybe not. I would think a private school would consider the parent's situation when requiring parental involvement.

Yes, in an ideal world they would consider that.  I hope that most of them do.

Unfortunately, I'm too cynical to think that it always works out.  Just me and my experiences.  Not even necessarily with private schools, just in general.

The single mom could take her whole family to the basketball game, for example, then work in the food booth or at the scoring table.

The age difference between my brother and I would have made this difficult.  But that's OUR situation.  (Also, my brother would have made this difficult - he was hmmmm, interesting - or a terror depending on your point of view.  LOL)

That said, outside of and in public school, my brother and I were involved in A LOT of activities.  We also grew up in a small town, it was safe for us to go about on our own and we got ourselves where we needed to be.  Money was tight, so I learned that we couldn't do EVERYTHING, so you had to decide what was important.  That's NEVER a bad lesson to learn - or be reminded of - and I am appreciating this now.




Message was edited by: PharmToxGirl

Reply

ginmal Posts : 396 Registered: 1/11/08
Re: Wedding-Related: Why I can't handle the Duggars
Posted: Oct 13, 2008 10:10 AM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Aunt - my daughter is in 2nd grade at a public school and every day I have to sign her planner (which tells me her behavior for the day and her homework) and I have to sign that each day for J to turn it in to her teacher the next day. We didn't have that when I was in 2nd grade...and I love having it for my daughter.


Bless your own day, leave mine alone!Innocent

 

Reply


auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Wedding-Related: Why I can't handle the Duggars
Posted: Oct 13, 2008 10:18 AM Go to message in response to: ginmal

Dear Gin,

Interesting. I never had to do that for my children. I think it's a great idea, especially for the younger grades.

Reply


nanette927 Posts : 1,748 Registered: 1/28/08
Re: Wedding-Related: Why I can't handle the Duggars
Posted: Oct 13, 2008 10:28 AM Go to message in response to: ginmal

gin- I have to do the same for my daughter she is almost 16.  I love doing that too, our schoold here have this thing they call "Parent Link". you log onto this site where the teachers post the grades of your student and nay comments they may have bout thier behavior or missing work and such.  It beats trying to reach them by phone..it's a great way to monitor them and make sure that they are on the right track. 

As far as the single parent being involved with school activities, I was a single parent with 3 kids and worked my full time job. I never really had the time to do such things. I did what I could... I'd make food for an event and drop it off when I dropped my kids off...that was all that I had time for. I would do my best to make be there for whatever awards ceremony that my kids were getting.  And once a month I would take a day off in the week to visit them in school.  I know I did the best I could, not easy by no means.  I gave my children my time before and after work.  I really don't know how I managed , I just know I did.   


                              

Check out my Album for wedding pics!

Reply


MrsCP3 Posts : 456 Registered: 4/21/08
Re: Wedding-Related: Why I can't handle the Duggars
Posted: Oct 14, 2008 9:52 AM Go to message in response to: BirdLover

There were two more episodes on last night, and I couldn't help but watch. FH had never heard of them before, and he was in complete shock the whole time. It was pretty funny to listen to him getting all upset at the tv!

 

 

 

 

Reply


HillyBride92008 Posts : 207 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Wedding-Related: Why I can't handle the Duggars
Posted: Oct 14, 2008 11:02 AM Go to message in response to: MrsCP3

FutureMrsCP3: I watched both episodes last night. Evil of us, maybe, but damn freaky funny entertainment.

Why...b/c last nights episodes the Duggars had their friends the Bates family over for two weeks. These family friends are pretty much like the Duggars (they have 16 kids instead of 17...very conservative...etc). Actually this family is MORE STRICT than the Duggars. It was quite interesting. It made the Duggars seem tame....and I'll tell you why:

- The Bates family, the kids all wear the same stile clothing...like EXACTLY the same. All the boys wear brown polos with kahki pants and the girls wear dresses that look like they came out of the 1800's west...EVERY DAY!!! (The Duggars may dress similar, but they have a more modern flair...yes the girls wear skirts but are actually wear pants sometime while this other family girls NEVER wear pants EVER)

- The Duggars challenged the Bates to a rousing game of paintball. Granted, this was the first outside game that I had seen them do outside of their home (they went to a paintball park). The Bates family lost big time...why?? Because their kids don't EVER go out and do that stuff. Apparently the Duggars do this kind of stuff on a regular basis....normal activities...who knew???

-The Bates do not own a computer or TV. They do not allow their kids to watch TV or go on the computer EVER. The Duggars do own TV and a computer (though they do closely monitor what the kids watch and do.)

There were other things that made the Duggars seem a little more normal....scary huh!!! Now I'm not saying that the Duggars are the picture of a normal family...(No Way!!!), but it was interesting to see a family more conservative than the Duggars. Made them seem a little less cultish in my mind and just crazy conservative. The Bates on the other hand....THAT seemed a little cultish to me, but thats just IMO.

(BTW...I watched it with my best friend last night b/c we had been talking about them (being a cult or not...basically the same convos we've had on here) and my best friend had never seen it. Sooo we watched....her mouth gaped open the entire time. What can I say...she was like "Whoa...her uterus is just gonna up and fall out of her at some point!!" ha ha Tongue out


~ Formerly CCFPrincessBride~

Hillary & Sean~ September 20, 2008 Laughing

Reply

Knoxvegas Posts : 951 Registered: 9/12/07
Re: Wedding-Related: Why I can't handle the Duggars
Posted: Oct 14, 2008 3:20 PM Go to message in response to: HillyBride92008

One last thing I will say is that I wish parents would either take responsibility or make their kids accountable. I can't fail a kid because his mom will just get the principal to change the grade (she has done it before- the kid bragged about it) even though he has slacked off and not turned in anything this semester. Parents complain and we get hosed.

 

"Love is not a matter of counting the years -- it's making the years count."

-Wolfman Jack Smith

Reply


HillyBride92008 Posts : 207 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Wedding-Related: Why I can't handle the Duggars
Posted: Oct 14, 2008 4:14 PM Go to message in response to: Knoxvegas

Knox: I HATE that....when I was in high school I had a kid in my english class who definately hosed the teacher b/c his parents were rich and influential (not to mention friends with the principal's family).

It isn't fair...if the kids a slacker, he should fail. Oh well, when he flunks out of his SAT's and can't get into college, it'll be his own fault...of course he may have daddy's money! GRRRR pisses me off!!!


~ Formerly CCFPrincessBride~

Hillary & Sean~ September 20, 2008 Laughing

Reply

SeasideBride06 Posts : 958 Registered: 4/14/06
Re: Wedding-Related: Why I can't handle the Duggars
Posted: Oct 15, 2008 12:59 AM Go to message in response to: HillyBride92008

One of the things that bothers me the most about people like the Duggars is they say that their kids socialize, but it seems to be only with families like theirs, that have the same beliefs. They're not exposed to anyone who is different from them.

The kids appear to not have any choice of activities. They all school a younger sibling and play a musical instrument. They're not showing horses or running track or being in a school/community play.  No, they spent 98% of their time at home and the other 2% with families like theirs.

FYI, they're "quiverfulls", people who believe it's completely up to God to decide how many children you have and when you should have them. According to their beliefs, you do absolutely no family planning, you never even think about it. It doesn't matter if you can't afford more children or pregnancy would risk the health of the mother. God will take care of all that. 

As for the girl's clothing, these groups also believe in "modest" dressing, which means that women only wear loose clothing that covers all body parts. No pants, they reveal too much. Long skirts only. They even have bathing suits that keep everything loosely covered.

Reply

NotOfThisWorld Posts : 153 Registered: 10/14/08
Re: Wedding-Related: Why I can't handle the Duggars
Posted: Oct 15, 2008 1:18 AM Go to message in response to: BirdLover

thats exactly how the church i go to deals with dating. no holding hands no kissing no being alone together no hugging no sex. my fiance and i are both christians and we're saving ourselves for marriage because we believe that its a sin in Gods eyes. although before we became christians we did all that for 2 years so its been hard to completely stop. but God is a forgiving God and he's helped us a lot. right now he's in iraq so its easy to save ourselves lol but even before he left we didnt do anything. and it made me feel good knowing that i'm worth waiting for. but the whole not being alone and not holding hands and hugging thats something that we still do. we still kiss but we dont make out because that gets us really excited. but thats just us. we're just trying to live right before God. and for christians, when you date someone, its with the intentions of marrying them. not just to date around. i see couples at our church that dont even sit next to eachother because they dont wanna get excited at church. that have never kissed or hugged or done anything and i'm just like wow its gonna be really akward once they get married. but it'll be fun getting to find out about your spouse.

 ilove.gif picture by Khrystyne

USMC Fiancee

(I can legally mess with government property:)

 

Missing my deployed Marine

Reply


HillyBride92008 Posts : 207 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Wedding-Related: Why I can't handle the Duggars
Posted: Oct 15, 2008 9:26 AM Go to message in response to: NotOfThisWorld

I'm catholic. According to my church I will probably go to hell because I had sex with my DH before we were married. I lived with him, shared a bed, etc etc. In fact, I lived with 3 guys(shared a room with my DH and had two other guy roomates).

But let me say this: DH and I have been together since we were 16 (we're now 24 and married, got engaged at 22). We had "kissed" other people before being together but we were each others "firsts" as far as sex goes. I've had one partner in my lifetime....DH and the same goes for him (with me). I know I'm not going to hell. Just because we had sex when we weren't married (and we were quite young, I admit) doesn't mean that God stopped loving us. We just were fortunate to find our mate early in life.

Notofthisworld: I didn't post my view of life to pick, just to show the difference between your life choices and my own Laughing I commend you for doing what you feel is correct for your life. For example, you are technically "going against the grain" by kissing, while in your church, it seems like it is frowned upon. Are you going to hell? I don't think so, but I find it sweet that you took what you knew and made it your own! Good for you!

For me, teenage desire took over. If I did it again, would we have waited.....probably not. My experiences made me who I am as a person. I like who I am and I can't be sorry for it. For me its just that simple!


~ Formerly CCFPrincessBride~

Hillary & Sean~ September 20, 2008 Laughing


Message was edited by: HillyBride92008

Reply
RSS

Thank You
for Signing Up!

Check your e-mail inbox for the latest updates from brides.com

Give a Subscription to Brides Magazine as a Gift
Subscribe to Brides magazine