How did you know he was the one?

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Heidibride30 Posts : 1,201 Registered: 4/16/08
Re: How did you know he was the one?
Posted: Sep 5, 2008 3:43 PM Go to message in response to: MandyandVance

It took me a while to realize that FH was the one.  He wa so shy when we first met, and I was playing the field, LOL.  In fact, I used to tell all my friends how boring he was!!  But for some reason I couldn't stop seeing him.  After about a year, we realized that there really was something there.  Now, I can't imagine my life without him.  He has infinite patience for me.  We are so different in many many ways but it is in ways that complement each other.  He's very grounded and I have a tendency to be absent-minded.  So he keeps me tethered when I need it, but I make him lighten up and not get so serious all the time.  But we can totally be ourselves around each other without any judgement or anything.  He accepts me the way I am and goes out of his way to do little things to show me how much he loves me.  I truly could not picture myself married to anyone else.  In fact, before I was with him, I never really saw myself getting married at all. 

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MrsWilliams2008 Posts : 1,431 Registered: 7/19/07
Re: How did you know he was the one?
Posted: Sep 5, 2008 3:47 PM Go to message in response to: MandyandVance

Whenver I pictured the 2 kids, white picket fence, dog and the home... he was the ONLY guy that fit in my mental picture. I've felt that way since I was about 16. That may sound crazy, but it's true!

That and I love him to pieces! 

 


                         Poster Formerly Known as beauti381

http://www.theknot.com/ourwedding/RyAnne Stafford&RobertWilliams, Jr

                              Happily Married since June 21, 2008

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HappyGirl13 Posts : 1,298 Registered: 4/21/08
Re: How did you know he was the one?
Posted: Sep 5, 2008 4:08 PM Go to message in response to: MandyandVance

Mandy, I was sort of where your friend was--in my 30s but unsure whether I was making the right decisions about who to spend my life with. I just got married at 36 and I'm so glad I waited for the one that felt right.

Tell her if she's attempting to make either of these guys "fit" in her mind, they're not it. (Nothing wrong with getting closure with the ex, though.) It's worth the wait.

I had at least one friend get married in her early 30s b/c her clock was ticking, and she married someone she loved and knew would be a good dad, but she had doubts at the time whether the decision to get married was a good one. She advised me to keep waiting till I found the right one, too--now she's in her 50s, has a great kid, but is divorced from the father. Her instincts were right. Tell your friend NOT TO IGNORE HER INSTINCTS!

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: How did you know he was the one?
Posted: Sep 5, 2008 4:42 PM Go to message in response to: HappyGirl13

We met online and he was living in Florida at the time. 4 years bfore I started talking to him; as some of you know from this site; I was raped by an ex/psychotic BF after breaking things off. After that happened; I went on to have 3 more relationships and NEVER once did I feel comfortable enough with any of those guys to tell them what had happened. It just didnt feel right. One night when Dh and I were talking online I started having one of my nightly freakouts which were normal at that time for me. (The attack was also a break-in in the middle of the night, so due to that I often have LOTS of trouble sleeping or being alone at home,getting scared,etc). I told him I was scared and he said "call me." I said "No Ill be fine" and logged off. Well he called me anyway and said "Im not getting off this phone until you tell me youre okay and whats going on., no matter how long that takes." Well that ended up taking about 4 hours and he literally sat on the phone with me the whole night - half the time not saying a word, listening to me cry or say nothing. We hadnt even MET in person at this time yet - we had been talking online and phone for maybe 3months,but he was the FIRST PERSON that I told my story to. Before that, I lived in silence about being raped and didnt tell a soul. It was a huuuuge relief to tell SOMEONE- but not just someone- HIM. I wanted to tell HIM. And thats when I knew. Not only did I feel like I could tell him anything and he would support me, but I KNEW that he truly truly cared about me.

Also - He just felt like HOME to me.


Check out the Wedding Buzz and My Blog @ www.myaislerunner.com

Time for Biggest Loser 7 where TEAM KEL -LIZZA will remain Champions of Weightloss!

"When you're born, you get a free ticket to the Freak Show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat." - R.I.P. George Carlin

 

 

 

 


Message was edited by: kelleyiskelley

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CatStandish Posts : 2,766 Registered: 6/20/08
Re: How did you know he was the one?
Posted: Sep 5, 2008 5:06 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

He's got a lot of plus's going for him.  Your Mr. K is hilarious and I love reading both of your posts, especially on the no-BS board.


Misty

 

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CatStandish Posts : 2,766 Registered: 6/20/08
Re: How did you know he was the one?
Posted: Sep 5, 2008 5:15 PM Go to message in response to: Heidibride30

My FH and I met when we were 16, and we dated most of high school.  He actually proposed to me at the beginning of Senior year.    However, we ended up breaking up over something pretty traumatic happening to him that he couldn't deal with, and he was feeling extremely violent over things.  I didn't know this at the time, but he broke off our engagement because he was afraid he would end up hurting me.  It hurt emotionally at the time, but he was trying to protect me then.   I now know what happened, and I have completely forgiven him for dumping me during finals week (<g>).

What really caught my eye, many years later, was that we were working on a reunion (it happens to be next September, but we're not going to be able to make it.  A little busy at that time <G>), and I didn't respond to several emails.  I finally sent him one explaining why and apologizing.  What he sent back floored me.  So I looked him up on myspace (I'd just gotten a page.) and read his blogs.  That floored me even more.   While not mentioning my name, a lot of his blogs were about me as 'the one that got away'.

We emailed a bit, and I finally asked if we should exchange numbers.  Since that point, we talked at least 4 hours a day.   He literally moved his world to be with me -- moved from Las Vegas to Montgomery and bet everything on us working out.   The first encounter was awkward, but that was just because it was odd after so long and neither of us knew how to be near each other.

It's the little things.  The way that he treats me as if I am the center of his world, and the way that I look forward to talking to him every day, even if we don't have anything to say.


Misty

 

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: How did you know he was the one?
Posted: Sep 5, 2008 5:32 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

Thanks Misty! I love that thread too. Makes me laugh.:)

Check out the Wedding Buzz and My Blog @ www.myaislerunner.com

Time for Biggest Loser 7 where TEAM KEL -LIZZA will remain Champions of Weightloss!

"When you're born, you get a free ticket to the Freak Show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat." - R.I.P. George Carlin

 

 

 

 

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cyndi33 Posts : 2,585 Registered: 1/3/07
Re: How did you know he was the one?
Posted: Sep 5, 2008 6:50 PM Go to message in response to: kennysoldwife

:), Kennys, DH told me in high school...but it took ME 22 years to figure out he was right.

Seriously, once we DID reconnect as friends, it happened in, literally, weeks.  We just knew.  Just like AOTB...it just is/was clear and obvious.  And it still is.  

It's the bottom line...and that strength, belief, knowledge makes the rest of life, the little stuff, the day to day stresses or outside issues, really stay 'small'...because they ARE small in comparison to having found DH and being his wife.  

If she is unsure, than she isn't there yet.  She should wait.


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TheNewMrsJ Posts : 754 Registered: 1/6/08
Re: How did you know he was the one?
Posted: Sep 5, 2008 11:40 PM Go to message in response to: MandyandVance

FH and I have been friends since Jr. High, becoming basically best friends in our college years. It took me almost 9 years to finally fall for him, but I realized out of all my friends, he was the only one that was always there - when I needed a shoulder to vent to, whenever I had relationship troubles, all that... and I realized that I didn't ever wanna lose him and I needed him in my life. Us together only made too much sense. He had had the biggest crush on me since 8th grade and even admitted that if he couldn't have me as his, he'd rather at least be in my life as a friend.

I can see where your friend is coming from though - my first bf was my high school sweetheart - we started dating at the end of our sophomore year and lasted til about halfway through our 2nd semester of college. too many changes had gone on that year for both us and at that point in our lives we wanted different things. we tried to stay friends, seeing each other casually, which wasn't working for him so he kinda said something he didn't mean and I moved on... we didn't talk for a few years until his grandpa died and I sent him an email giving him my condolences - this was soon after I started seeing FH, which he was good friends with back in high school. We all hang out on occasion and talk a lot more frequently now.

I'll admit, I have wondered if things would be different, better between us now that we're older and know how to deal with things better, but at the same time, I got FH and I wouldn't give him up for anything. 

I think you know when you know you can't live without him in your life.


 

 

countdown to your wedding

*September 13, 2008 *

 

 

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pl8grl7298 Posts : 33 Registered: 3/15/07
Re: How did you know he was the one?
Posted: Sep 6, 2008 12:00 AM Go to message in response to: TheNewMrsJ

My relationship with my FH is very similar to your friends.  We have been together since highschool 8 and a half years. 

 I think I have to agree with some of the other posters I knew because I couldn't imagine my life without him.  I've never doubted my love for him or his for me.  And also we have always been able to work through whatever obstacle that has come our way. 

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kennysoldwife Posts : 3,859 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: How did you know he was the one?
Posted: Sep 6, 2008 1:52 PM Go to message in response to: cyndi33

Cyndi, thats funny that we were both so slow to pick up on that.  And we say guys are slow.

Kenny and Me Perfect Together,  10 years and counting.



 

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Stephorse Posts : 138 Registered: 1/31/08
Re: How did you know he was the one?
Posted: Sep 6, 2008 3:39 PM Go to message in response to: MandyandVance

It's almost hard to describe what it's like. My fiance actually fell for me first and after only 3 weeks of dating told me he loved me! I was shocked at first and wasn't quite sure, but I decided to give it a try anyway because he was cute, smart, and very sweet. It wasn't until my mom brought it up to me how she has never seen me so happy, is when I kind of knew. AFter about two years of dating, I was really sure then! I couldn't imagine my life without him. He completes me and makes me want to be a better person. I can be myself around him and he is defitnately comfortable with me! Between how he makes me feel, how he accepts me, and pushes me to grow made me realize he was the one for me.

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HillyBride92008 Posts : 207 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: How did you know he was the one?
Posted: Nov 24, 2008 10:34 AM Go to message in response to: MandyandVance

I've been with DH for 8.5 years. High school sweethearts. He was my first "serious" relationship and I was his first major and serious relationship. I had (and still have, though much less) major self esteem issues that I just clung (in my heart...not physically per say) from day one. I "knew" he was the one.

When did I actually know, though? When I came down the escalator in the Budapest International Airport after not seeing him for 5 months. We had NEVER been separated for more than 4 days and had been dating for 4 years at that point. He had been abroad in Budapest for the fall semester and I had stayed at school. While he was gone, I just stayed home and watched TV and went to class (surprisingly, it was the only semester of college that I made Dean's List). I spent $100 a month on phone cards and talked with him twice a week. There was one experience during this time (besides when I saw him at the airport) that made me understand just what having him in my life meant.

One Sunday during the semester abroad, Sean calls me. He is upset b/c he and his buddies and a bunch of girls (basically the UNH crew) went to the bar. They all got a little more than tipsy and as Sean and this girl (Jen....I think, I can't remember her name at this point) were all saying bye. He and Jen did the "european kiss" (both cheeks) and drunkenly missed and kissed on the mouth. Sean could have not told me, but he did b/c he felt it was important for me to know that a) it happened and b) it meant NOTHING to him. I kept perfectly calm, telling him over and over that it was fine, just a mistake and that I understood. When I hung up the phone, I broke down. My roommates had to sit with me all night and calm me down. From what Sean told me, the minute he hung up, he could FEEL my pain. He said he could feel how upset I was 6 hours away. He went that night to go talk to that girl to let her know that it meant nothing to him. She said it meant nothing to her as well, and they discussed the incident and decided never to say goodbye in that way. Sean also spent the extra money to call me for a third time the next day to let me know that he fixed things. He also wanted to share a new song he had found that described us, I said that I had found one as well and was currently listening to it. It was the same song, and consequently became our first dance at our wedding.

I can imagine my life without him (I think about it time to time b/c of the reality of him getting cancer is basically 50:50) but it is a life full of sadness and I end up crying when I think of it. He is the one that want to share the rest of my life with, have children with, grow old with. I am excited for when we have children, because they will be a mix of the best of both of us. We understand each other, even finish each others sentences sometimes, and are on the same page in life. I am ME around Sean, good bad and ugly....he is the same with me, and has more patience than a saint!!

All I know is that I am by far the luckiest woman on the planet to have him!!!

~ Living the married life

Hillary & Sean September 20, 2008 Laughing

 


 

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Franko Posts : 128 Registered: 11/15/08
Re: How did you know he was the one?
Posted: Nov 25, 2008 7:02 PM Go to message in response to: kennysoldwife

nice and romantic

sometimes first love is the most powerful
I bought our rings @

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CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: How did you know he was the one?
Posted: Dec 5, 2008 9:27 PM Go to message in response to: Heidibride30

Aww this is a cute thread. I knew he was the one the moment I realized how he respected me. He never made the first moves and he was very respectful. I actually met him in middle school (7th grade!) We never talked in middle school however, we only had art class together. I remembered him sitting there drawing in art class but he claims that he doesn't remember me. After 7th grade I never saw him again in school until 11th grade in high school. My boyfriend at the time was friend with my FH and he introdduced us. Through the years we became good friends and it took about 5 yrs for us to be a couple! I think what helps is being friends first! The way he held me and touched me hand and talked to me and looked into my eyes I knew right away that I did not want to let him go. And now after 5 years of dating we are planning our lives together <3

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