Is it appropriate to invite an "ex"

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DeezNuttiest Posts : 200 Registered: 1/10/08
Re: Is it appropriate to invite an "ex"
Posted: Aug 29, 2008 1:43 PM Go to message in response to: cyndi33

i agree that they could have found some other way to have dealt with T but they didnt even bother, they didnt even bother to tell M what was going til the last minute, they just told her the day before the wedding, T doesn't want to come so don't bring him, they didn't give her a chance to sit down and work something out either.

There are many days out of a year that one does not HAVE to deal with an X, so i do not get the arguement of it being THE ONE DAY that i dont have to deal with them. A new marriage and family can be a huge thing to a child, i would be as supportive as i possably could for my child. I feel like by saying "i simply do not want to see this person" i would be putting my own feelings infront of my child's and i wouldn't do that. If however there was more to a story like X and i have a strong dislike or bad situation then that is differnt to me. But then again i dont mind sharing my day and making my day about everyone involved and not just myself.

I will however agree to disagree with you :)


 

 Why does November 1st seem sooooooooo far away?????

 

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DeezNuttiest Posts : 200 Registered: 1/10/08
Re: Is it appropriate to invite an "ex"
Posted: Aug 29, 2008 1:44 PM Go to message in response to: DeezNuttiest

it's just different strokes for different folks, thats all

 

 Why does November 1st seem sooooooooo far away?????

 

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cyndi33 Posts : 2,585 Registered: 1/3/07
Re: Is it appropriate to invite an "ex"
Posted: Aug 29, 2008 1:55 PM Go to message in response to: DeezNuttiest

What I disagree with is someone else imposing their views on what my husband or I should do for our wedding. You feel free to have all the X's you want. However, you aren't part of a newly marrying stepparent family so I don't think you know what that is like for us.  And even if you were, it'd be your family not ours.

Yes, I DID put myself before my kids that day, so did my husband, and we'd do it again.

One day not dealing with the X's.  You know why?  Cause on that day, and during our honeymoon, we would refuse to acknowledge them, refuse to answer any calls, texts or e mails. And refuse to utter their name.

On any other day, we would have to acknowledge them.

I have no problem with anyone else choosing to do it differently.  I DO have an issue with someone making a judgment about our choices.  IMO it's simply None ya'.  Period.

Strong dislike, outright hatred, indifference, whatever...the choice is a personal one and no one else gets to make it.  AND, my bottom line is that our choice is not wrong regardless of what yours would be, n or is YOURS wrong regardless what ours would be.  I get irritated when we move beyond that and try to force someone else to make the same choice just cause WE happen to prefer it.  

Kids will be just fine, if you handle it responsibly, whether or not mommy and daddy are BOTH at mommy OR daddy's wedding. and the choice about that is up to whomever is marrying...period. good grief.   


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DeezNuttiest Posts : 200 Registered: 1/10/08
Re: Is it appropriate to invite an "ex"
Posted: Aug 29, 2008 2:15 PM Go to message in response to: cyndi33

well i appolized for my comment, i didnt mean for it to come so judgmental, then i was merely explaining MPO. i was not trying to force anyone into doing or thinking anything.

i didnt know that only some poeple here were allowed to express their oppinions without being concidered judgemental (even tho lots of them come accross that way). I was my oppinion and what i feel about these things not a judgement.

sorry you took it that way....period. good grief. 

 


 

 Why does November 1st seem sooooooooo far away?????

 

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cyndi33 Posts : 2,585 Registered: 1/3/07
Re: Is it appropriate to invite an "ex"
Posted: Aug 29, 2008 2:26 PM Go to message in response to: DeezNuttiest

Of course you can express your opinion, BUT SO CAN I. You are free to invite all the ex's you want. I am free NOT to.  YOu are free to think I'm selfish, or my husband is selfish, for that.  But you are just plain wrong when you state that there are many days of the year where myself and my DH do not have to deal with our ex's.  You can only speak to the days YOU don't have to, but you've no idea what we do or do not have to do.  THat's not an opinion...it's fact.

If the following is your opinion on what our choice was, so be it.  But, IMO, you don't get a vote.  You can continue Expressing away, though.  And so can I.  I'll take the opinion for what it's worth. 

 "But then again i dont mind sharing my day and making my day about everyone involved and not just myself."

It's amusing to me that after all the talk about selfishness...you're still referring to this as "my" day.  

For us, it was "our" day.   


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parvastella22 Posts : 199 Registered: 4/24/06
Re: Is it appropriate to invite an "ex"
Posted: Aug 29, 2008 8:34 PM Go to message in response to: nanette927

In response to justkel I totally agree.  I'd be very uncomfortable having a FH's ex come by, especially if they were first loves to one another...Even if you could swear you'd never walk down the aisle with this person how much interaction do you really get with this person on the whole?  Do you see him weekly, monthly, once in a blue moon?

I never was able to maintain a friendship with an ex (someone was always too hurt) and today I saw wedding photos of a friend that I had a serious crush on.  Even if it was a friend (if he was my ex it would be harder) it was really tough for me to look at him so happy with someone else.  Course I'm happy for him, but a piece of me wishes that I was in that spot.

Even if the friendship was purely sexual...men have a strange way of saying that you're important to them. 




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