September 2008 brides!!!

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dtvg Posts : 67 Registered: 8/21/07
Re: September 2008 brides!!!
Posted: Aug 27, 2008 9:57 AM Go to message in response to: BaltoBride

Hello all! Was anybody else having trouble using this website yesterday? All afternoon, I couldn't log on.

Anyway, I NEED HELP -I welcome any opinions, thoughts and/or criticism!  My FH is very close with his family, esp his sister- her husband is our BM.  Their daughter (4 1/2 yrs old) is our flower girl and she's a really great kid. They also have a son who will be 10 months at our wedding. I have no problem having the daughter stay at the wedding, but I really don't want the baby to stay, ONLY b/c he'll cry since all he wants to do is crawl around and he won't be able to.

FSIL and family are staying at the hotel, which is one traffic light away from the venue and my mom and I have arranged for a babysitter to watch the baby.  FH & I haven't said anything yet to FSIL, but since she travels EVERYWHERE with these kids (they were at my shower while her husband was sitting right down stairs- don't get me started), FH is anticipating FSIL flipping out about this. The babysitter is my best friend's babysitter and she also works at a daycare, making her perfect for the job. I've even mentioned something in passing to FMIL but she's been no help. I also talked to the venue to see if they would allow the babysitter to watch the baby there, but the only place they offered was the bridal suite, which I need, plus how boring would that be for the babysitter!?!

I don't want to cause undue problems in the family, but after FH's cousin's wedding where FSIL brought the two kids, she even said that it was too much having the baby there. I've already arranged for another sitter for my aunt's toddler and even the ringbearer is leaving after the ceremony, so if we have the baby stay, it won't be fair to the other parents.  FH is supposed to talk to his sister about it, but he's dragging his feet since he thinks its going to be an issue.

How can I be diplomatic and fair but still stand my ground?  Am I being unreasonable- if so, tell me! HELP!


-Dawn Smile

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bridesrocks Posts : 478 Registered: 9/25/07
Re: September 2008 brides!!!
Posted: Aug 27, 2008 10:09 AM Go to message in response to: dtvg

Hi Dawn:  We're kids invited at the reception in the first place?  Cause if so then I would say it might be hard to change that.  But I do understand how kids or a baby can cry and wine so it can make it difficult.  When FH talks to her  instead of telling her what if he said...."I thought of getting a babysitter for the kids after the wedding so she can enjoy herself too because there won't be any other kids there and It's not really fair for the other neither.  Asking is always better the telling (IMO) Explain to her who the babysitter would be and all that good stuff...at least the option will be there.  I mean that baby will have to sleep at some point! Right?

I don't know what else to say....


Until I marry my Rockstar!
Message was edited by: bridesrocks

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08divabride Posts : 831 Registered: 11/17/07
Re: September 2008 brides!!!
Posted: Aug 27, 2008 10:23 AM Go to message in response to: dtvg

I don't know your family, but your FH does.  If he thinks it's going to be a problem, then it is!  The only way you could have pulled it off is make the wedding adult only. 

Personally, I do think you are being unreasonable, but I am not saying that to be mean.  Sometimes we want our day to be perfect, and we need people to bring us back to reality!  

Good luck, hope everything works out for you, when is the big day?


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mizhines Posts : 271 Registered: 7/31/07
Re: September 2008 brides!!!
Posted: Aug 27, 2008 1:37 PM Go to message in response to: dtvg

Hey Dawn!

Surprise, surprise, I tried to log on yesterday and couldn't get on either (maybe it was just the two of us Wink)!  We'll have to catch up on how things are going, but wanted to give my opinion/suggestions on your situation.  I've found that dealing with children when it comes to family can be a very tricky issue.  We had a blanket "adults only" policy with our invites, which worked fine for my friends, because they'd prefer to leave their kids at home as opposed to running around after them all night!  There's one close family friend who's breast feeding, so she'll most likely have her infant at the reception. I thought we were all set after that, but FH's cousin who's coming from Ireland rsvp'd for 5 instead of 2 (?!).  Turns out she's bringing her teenager (ok) and her 2 younger kids (7 & 8) as well.  We offered to get a sitter so the little ones could hang out, watch movies, eat pizza, etc., but she says they're clingy and she thinks they'd freak out being with a stranger-- I personally don't get it, I looooved having babysitters when I was a kid.  Although I was super-annoyed, at the end of the day I ordered 2 kid's meals and let it go.  I don't think you're being unreasonable not wanting the 10-month old at your reception, but I do think that you've done everything you can do in terms of coming up with an alternative plan.  If FSIL is really adamant that she doesn't want to leave the kid with the sitter, I think the best thing would be to let her bring him.  Otherwise, there will be huge drama and you'll end up being the "bad person" in their eyes.  I think bridesrocks is right-- try to be really positive in making the suggestion that he stay with a sitter, but if she doesn't go for it, in the end you'll look like the better person for relenting (FH will owe you big Smile).  You're going to be so caught up with everything else going on at the reception you won't even be thinking of the kid.  In terms of other people's reactions, she's FH's sister, I think that people should understand, and if they have their noses out of joint, so be it-- you can never please everyone (that's what I keep telling myself!).

Good luck-- let us know how it goes!
Leigh

 


"Make me a bicycle, clown!" - Wedding Crashers

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mizhines Posts : 271 Registered: 7/31/07
Re: September 2008 brides!!!
Posted: Aug 27, 2008 1:57 PM Go to message in response to: BaltoBride

Hey again everyone,

September is almost here! Woohoo!

I am definitely looking forward to the long weekend-- we're sticking around here so I will have lots of time to work on wedding stuff (I go from being super-motivated to unmotivated so quickly, I need plenty of time!).  We're going up to Mass. to meet with the music director & pick out our music, and finalize the ceremony (readings, vows, etc.) with our minister. I can't believe the time to do this stuff is finally here!  I created a wedding photoshare site on shutterfly and ordered business cards (which I customized) off of VistaPrint with the information.  The cards were free so I just had to pay $10 to have them shipped.  I just made sure to opt out of everything so I don't get any random credit card charges later!  I also got a birdcage from save-on-crafts (http://www.save-on-crafts.com/birdcages.html) to use as our cardholder-- I was originally going to spray-paint it ivory, but I actually like the way it looks unpainted, so I also ordered some silk leaves & flowers to line the bottom and will probably wind ribbon through the bars.  If I manage to do this, I'll post a picture (it will be my first "crafty" project!).  I also ordered a "future mrs." hoodie from customizedgirl.com.  They sent me another coupon for 15% off-- the code is SU68 if someone is thinking of getting anything personalized!

Big projects for the weekend-- work on programs (although I might cave and just order them!), start on the seating chart, make sure FH and my parents follow-up with outstanding r.s.v.p.'s (I've got 1 couple outstanding but they live around the corner so I'm just going to swing by this weekend)-- FH is definitely dragging his feet in this department!  I also want to work on the OOT welcome letter, but I don't want to get too ambitious, esp. if the weather's nice Cool
Leigh

 


"Make me a bicycle, clown!" - Wedding Crashers

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Ariana2858 Posts : 14 Registered: 1/21/08
Re: September 2008 brides!!!
Posted: Aug 28, 2008 12:59 AM Go to message in response to: mizhines

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels like they're forgetting things! I have to keep a notebook and pen with me at all times so I can write crap down as it pops into my head.... otherwise it'll just disappear forever in a cloud of wedding crazy-ness!

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BaltoBride Posts : 453 Registered: 2/27/07
Re: September 2008 brides!!!
Posted: Aug 28, 2008 8:54 AM Go to message in response to: Ariana2858

etiquette question....how do you politely say you would prefer money or a gift card?  I know it's not very PC but we've lived together since 2000 and really don't need STUFF.  I did register for some items but am afraid that our apartment will burst.  We could really use money or a Royal Caribbean gift card for our honeymoon.  Any thoughts?

Nikki

 

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dtvg Posts : 67 Registered: 8/21/07
Re: September 2008 brides!!!
Posted: Aug 28, 2008 10:43 AM Go to message in response to: BaltoBride

Thanks for the advice, everybody. Put things in perspective for me. I am still going to have FH talk to her about it but definitely put a positive spin on it. If she doesn't go for it, it's over.  I will let my best friend and my aunt know in advance so there's no surprises and I'll apologize to them.  I'd LOVE to say that FH will owe me but he doesn't understand the meaning of that!! Wink

Leigh, I will shoot you an email soon.  Work has been CRAZY! Miss ya!

Nikki, I don't see how you can outright ask for money.  You can have your parents and FILs put the word out for you, if possible. You can set up a honeymoon registry as well, but getting the word out about that might be difficult too.  I am in the same boat as you- we already live in a house and have pretty much everything already. I was convinced (& glad I was) to register for nicer towels, nicer sheets, etc. and I got rid of the older stuff. I put a $200 rolling outside cooler on it and we got it!  Put a few "dream" items on it and see what happens. Worst case, you return them for credit (or some places, cash) and you save the money you would have spent there for your honeymoon instead! Basically, you have to spread the word!

Okay, back to crazy work.  Ciao!


-Dawn Smile

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08divabride Posts : 831 Registered: 11/17/07
Re: September 2008 brides!!!
Posted: Aug 28, 2008 10:48 AM Go to message in response to: dtvg

Hey Dawn, I am so glad you did not get offended to my comments as they were not said in spite.  I hope everything works out for you on your day!

Nikki, you can get the word out that you prefer money and hope people will respect your wishes!

Good luck ladies, September is here!!!!! (Almost)


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nanette927 Posts : 1,748 Registered: 1/28/08
Re: September 2008 brides!!!
Posted: Aug 28, 2008 11:29 AM Go to message in response to: dtvg

Hello Ladies!

I know my fellow September brides feel me! I just want the day here already! FMIL is moving the day after we get married. And she is taking 1/2 the house with her. So rather than making a fuss over it FH told me we will go shopping "after" she leaves.  The thing is I did register at 2 places, but I told everyone we pretty much had everything. (now we wont) I kinda put the word out to check out our registery list. (Sigh) When I moved in w/him I gave my daughter ALL of my stuff (literally). not like I can take it back.

Honeymoon: My sister was supposed to find us this amazing honeymoon suite. NOT it's been 2 months and not a word. GRRRRRRRRRR. So last night, I found one myself.  So I will be booking it tomorrow. 5 nights, Sunday breakfast in bed., dicounted tickets to a dinner & a show, in the. Monte Carlo "Monico Suite" (700 sqft), his and hers bathrooms and bathrobes for $800.00. You really can't beat that here in Vegas. It's a classy place and it's on the strip. And they only want a $130. deposit! YAY. So I am booking it!

Anyway, FH finally orderd his "guys" gifts. and I broke down and orderd personalized matchbooks for our votive candle favors.

WOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOO Hurry up September!  


                              

 

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BaltoBride Posts : 453 Registered: 2/27/07
Re: September 2008 brides!!!
Posted: Aug 28, 2008 12:33 PM Go to message in response to: nanette927

Nanette, *hugz*  I think these last few weeks are going to be the most stressful.  I wish I could send you all the stuffs we'd be replacing with new.  :-(  I need to call my caterer I have NO idea when I have to have the last numbers in.

Nikki

 

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nanette927 Posts : 1,748 Registered: 1/28/08
Re: September 2008 brides!!!
Posted: Aug 28, 2008 3:34 PM Go to message in response to: BaltoBride

I BOOKED IT! We have the a Mandalay Bay  SUITE fo 6 days and 5 nights!

WE HAVE A mini-HONEYMOON! Y.A.Y.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are calling it our "Mini-moon" because we are going to Hawaii next year for 2 weeks.

Funny thing is that we live here in Las Vegas., but we avoid the strip as much as possible. Since we never stay in the hotels, we thought "people come here all the time for honeymoons, so why travel ?"  We are now  staying on the strip.. we are staying at the Mandalay Bay. Below is the virtual view of our room. I hope it works.

 http://www.motion-vr.com/tourm.aspx?tn=445&cp=1&b=1&la=0&fl=1 

This totally made my day! We were going to stay at another hotel but when we got the email on this WE snatched IT! AND we still get discounts on all spa treaments  but unlimited to the 5 pools, gym, sauna, jacuzzi, and dicounts on dinner our entire stay!  Sunday is breakfast in bed. I'm working on Blue Man Group tickets for Sunday night along with a nice elegant dinner. Monday I booked the "spa - message" for both of us. 

I'm checking in on Thursday with MOH and BM (my 2 duaghters). Picking up all dresses taking them to the hotel and unpack.  Then we are all going to the pool to relax. They gave me 2 for 1 MAMMA MIA tickets, so my MOH & I are going to see it. (FH doesn't want to). then after the show we are hitting the "eye Candy" bar- for drinks and some dancing.

This will give FH time to spend with is mother before she moves out of town. Also some guy time with his buddies from out of town.  

Friday night us girls are having dinner in the SUITE and watching movies. I really don't want to do much the night before. Then, in the morning, room service our breakfast! and we take our time getting ready for the WEDDING! the limo picks us up @ 5.

I can't wait! I'm sure there are going to be a few bumps from now to then but you know what, I don't care because the wedding is paid for the dresses are good to go and we have our honeymoon! So no stopping us now!                            

 


Message was edited by: nanette927

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BaltoBride Posts : 453 Registered: 2/27/07
Re: September 2008 brides!!!
Posted: Aug 28, 2008 4:18 PM Go to message in response to: nanette927

YAY!!!!  Congrats Nanette.  That sounds fantastic!  Very lifestyles of the Rich & Famous like.  Laughing

Nikki

 

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BaltoBride Posts : 453 Registered: 2/27/07
Re: September 2008 brides!!!
Posted: Aug 28, 2008 4:20 PM Go to message in response to: BaltoBride

I just got a phone call from my hunny.  His coworkers threw him a shower at work just a little bit ago.  He was very surprised and touched by it.  I thought that was just the sweetest.  Laughing

Nikki

 

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surfdiva Posts : 79 Registered: 10/16/07
Re: September 2008 brides!!!
Posted: Aug 28, 2008 4:41 PM Go to message in response to: BaltoBride

BaltoBride, that IS really sweet!  Awww..fun for him!

Nanette, AWESOME!  I love your description of the days before the wedding...relaxing and chill.  Just what I want mine to be like!

We still don’t have any honeymoon plans!!  This is getting ridiculous...we just can’t make up our minds!  Any suggestions from you ladies would be greatly appreciated!!

Stacey

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