Just wanted to double check, because I don't want to screw this up..inner envelopes just say Mr. and Mrs. Smith (no first names) except the children listed underneath. Is this right? Because I'm sure I've seen first names on invites I've gotten. I also had a question with the placecards; is a dentist listed as Dr. Smith or just John Smith? Also for a medical doctor, does the placecard read their first and last name or Dr. Jane Doe? Thanks
You can use titles or not on place/table cards. Personally, I prefer them without as it takes up room unnecessarily. Your choice. A dentist is still a doctor.
Here are some addressing tips for the most commonly asked questions and addressing situations. A person's personal preference takes precedence.
When in doubt, ask!
1. Social addressing is different than business or military. Don't assume because you know how to do it at your office or in the military you know the social rules.
2. "Esquire" is never used on social correspondence. It's a business title.
3. It doesn't matter which half of the couple you know better or like better. Addressing format doesn't change based on relationship.
4. Honorifics such as "Aunt" or "Grandma" are not used on invitations at all, either formal or informal.
5. Anyone 18 or older gets their own invitation, regardless of who they live with.
6. Doctor and Dr. mean exactly the same thing, one is an abbreviation of the other. Technically, only MDs get "Doctor/Dr." but it's commonly accepted to address anyone with a doctorate as "Doctor/Dr."
7. List same sex couples with the older person first. If you're unsure, list alphabetically.
8. In the interest of giving women equal billing, you can drop all titles and still be formal. If you want to list the woman's name, drop titles.
9. A man's first and last names are never separated. When a couple's names are separated, the woman's name goes first
10. Use "and" only to connect names of marrieds, this is also true in the invitation text. Unmarrieds are on separate lines. If space requires, you can separate names with a comma.
11. Abbreviations are sometimes necessary, but some titles and designations are never abbreviated. Such as..
--The Reverend --The Reverend Doctor --United States Marine Corps --Justice --Judge --The Honourable (with or without the U, doesn't matter, be consistent)
12. Military titles usually aren't abbreviated unless there's no choice. There are other rules for military listings. Page me if you have a specific question.
13. APO/AFO military addresses are never altered. If it contains an abbreviation, leave it. Copy it onto the envelope exactly as it's given by the military.
14. Use "and guest" only if someone can bring any random person. If they're in a relationship, get the person's name. Never use "and family". It literally means they can invite anyone they consider family.
List children oldest to youngest with or without titles. Titles for children are Miss and Master. If you have more than one child of each gender, you can group those with the same last name using:
--The Misses Smith --The Masters Smith
"And guest" and children's names are usually written on the inner envelope. If no inner, use outer envelope or a belly band. Insert is preferred.