HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT your second time around?

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TanisJ Posts : 2,669 Registered: 4/25/07
Re: HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT your second time around?
Posted: Aug 13, 2008 12:57 PM Go to message in response to: RanAway2Maine

Thanks ladies! I boohooed all the way through that section the first time around. We are going to be saying it again in just 10 days. For the rest of the ceremony we are actually going to have the families marry us. Each person in the family will ask us somethng ie do you promise to respect each other in your failures as well as successes. I like it becuase your family can hold you accountable!

Linda Jo your vows are beautiful. They just sound so grown up!

Nanette writing your own vows is more work, but when they are personalized to your story I think it really adds to the ceremony. I like to joke "how many people shout out "You're not cherishing me" during a fight?"

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RanAway2Maine Posts : 2,359 Registered: 1/27/08
Re: HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT your second time around?
Posted: Aug 13, 2008 3:47 PM Go to message in response to: nanette927

nanette & TaniJ-

You are both around my age and intelligent. I would love to hear your opinions on my "Fight It or Forget It?" thread. Do a search on that topic if you have a few minutes to read the post and responses, I would value your opinions.... 

It's somewhat related to your post, nanette, i.e., past exes and what scum some were!


Linda Jo and Dean-July 19, 2008


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MichelleandRob Posts : 194 Registered: 5/12/08
Re: HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT your second time around?
Posted: Aug 13, 2008 4:33 PM Go to message in response to: nanette927

I am also getting married for a second time and am nervous. I have had every though running through my head, wear white or don't, small ceremony or not. But I am going to wear white (maybe, it might be ivory) and it is going to be a ceremony with about 75 people. My FH has never been married. We are both 40 and I have two children (16 and 14) and he has none.

I keep asking him if he is really ready to do this and he just smiles and tells me yes.

About the vows: He says he wants to write ours and I am nervous about that. I loved reading your vows. I am just not very good with expressing myself with words and nervous that what I write won't make any sense.


wedding ticker

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RanAway2Maine Posts : 2,359 Registered: 1/27/08
Re: HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT your second time around?
Posted: Aug 13, 2008 4:42 PM Go to message in response to: MichelleandRob

Why NOT wear white? These days you can do whatever you want. If you like the way white looks on you, then go for it!

You should just express what's in your hearts for your vows. OR, you can look at thousands of vows which taylor to the two of you.

Happy planning! 


Linda Jo and Dean-July 19, 2008


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kennysoldwife Posts : 3,859 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT your second time around?
Posted: Aug 13, 2008 6:00 PM Go to message in response to: RanAway2Maine

I don't know if I mentioned it or not but not only is this my second time around but I renewed my vows with my husband last year.  We wrote our own vows also.  It just seemed right to do it that way.  The tradtional vows were okay and we used them too but we had something to say to each other that were not in the other vows. 

Thank you ladies for sharing what was in your hearts and I will share what was/is in ours. 

Mine to him:  Kenny, my husband, my lover, my friend, as we stand her before God, our family and friends, I make these promises to you.

I promise to let you be the person you are meant to be.  I will not try to fix you or change you in any way. 

I promise to be your partner and your friend. 

I promise never to go to sleep angry, even if we have to stay up all night to work out our problems

Most of all I promise to be there when you need me and to step back when you don't.  Take my hand walk beside me and we will make this wonderful journey together.  I love you today, tomorrow and always.

His to me:  I promise to give you the best of myself, and to ask of you no more than you can give.

I promise to respect you as your own person and to realize that your interest, desires and needs are no less important than my own.

I promist to keep myself open to you.  To let you see me through the windown of my world.  Into my innermost fears and feelings, secrets and dreams.

I promise to grow along with you, to be willing to face changes in order to keep our relationship alive and exciting. 

I promise to love you in good times and bad with all I have to give and all I feel inside in the only way I know how completely and forever. 

You are the person I want to wake up to every morning and go to sleep with every night for now and forever. 

It was so very sweet. 

 


Kenny and Me Perfect Together,  10 years and counting.

 



Message was edited by: kennysoldwife

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kennysoldwife Posts : 3,859 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT your second time around?
Posted: Aug 13, 2008 6:04 PM Go to message in response to: MichelleandRob

Your wedding is about the two of you do what makes you happy.   Wear white if you want.  I did it was wonderful.  Your vows are about the two of you and what you mean to each other.  It should come from the heart.  Think about how you feel about this man.  What is it about him that makes your heart race when you think about him and makes you smile when you hear his name.  What is it about this man that makes you want to spend the rest of your life with him?  That is what your vow should say.  If they do they will make all the sense in the world to the two of you and that is what matters.


Kenny and Me Perfect Together,  10 years and counting.

 

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TanisJ Posts : 2,669 Registered: 4/25/07
Re: HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT your second time around?
Posted: Aug 13, 2008 6:12 PM Go to message in response to: RanAway2Maine

With a compliment like that I will have to come on over to your thread.

MichelleandRob I agree about wearing white. Do what you want to do. I chose ivory, but thats just because I think I look better in it.

Kennysoldwife came in while I was typing this. Really nice vows!

Nanette I kind of skipped something awhile back. The song your FH sings is funny and cute but do you want *uck in your vows, even if it is left out?' My DH and I had considered doing funny vows, well actually I just contemplated it and we decided we wanted to stick to more traditional vows for the ceremony. We are doing the "real vows" at the reception.

To my Sexy T,
my loveliest "she"
In front of our guests
who are some of the best
I promise to you
the following to do:

I shall put into practice the 5 steps of clothing care
They are sort, wash, fold, PUT AWAY, then wear

I shall remember the dvd rule, then apply,
That which I cannot store, I shall not buy

I shall not suggest anytime I am to cook,
wings or pizza or anything else that gets me "that look"


To My Big C
my favourite "he"
In front of our guests
Who are some of the best
I promise to you
the following to do:

I shall not schedule nor plan, nor be a party pooper
on the day of the Bowl that is known as "Super"
I shall not talk to you about shoes.com
When I need shoe dialogue, I'll call my mom

I shall admit that alligators are better in the zoo
and if I see one I will run home to you.

 

 

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kennysoldwife Posts : 3,859 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT your second time around?
Posted: Aug 13, 2008 6:20 PM Go to message in response to: TanisJ

Tanis J, I love your vows.  So completely about the two of you. 

Kenny and Me Perfect Together,  10 years and counting.

 

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RanAway2Maine Posts : 2,359 Registered: 1/27/08
Re: HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT your second time around?
Posted: Aug 13, 2008 9:12 PM Go to message in response to: kennysoldwife

Aww, those vows are beautiful! Did you/are you ladies going to memorize them?

Linda Jo and Dean-July 19, 2008


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kennysoldwife Posts : 3,859 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT your second time around?
Posted: Aug 13, 2008 9:59 PM Go to message in response to: RanAway2Maine

I memorized mine, I still remember them almost a year later.  He memorized his but he had a cheat sheet too.  I actually have a copy of them in our wedding album.

Kenny and Me Perfect Together,  10 years and counting.

 

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nanette927 Posts : 1,748 Registered: 1/28/08
Re: HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT your second time around?
Posted: Aug 13, 2008 10:57 PM Go to message in response to: TanisJ

I like all of your vows.

And as far as his song..lol..no no I would definatly leave that part out and have him fill it in with something decent.  I really do not want to do the "traditional thing. He has to wrok late tonight but I'm gonna ask him in the morning.


 

 

 

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77ChevyGirl Posts : 272 Registered: 1/6/08
Re: HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT your second time around?
Posted: Aug 13, 2008 11:44 PM Go to message in response to: nanette927

Nanette,

We're all different when it comes to the second time around.

For me, it's #2 & for FH it's #4.  He never had a real wedding, so I'm doing the wedding so that he has it.  Our marriage is for both of us, and that does include the wedding itself.

For me, the most important thing is family.  As long as my family is there, I am happy!  :)

I think you're just overly excited because this is a big deal, and you said you didn't have a "real" wedding the first time (I hate that term, but am not sure how else to describe it).  Enjoy your day.  Allow yourself to be nervous & acting like a first time bride...This is BIG, and you should have all kinds of energy (excitement & anxiousness - it's actually ALL good!  :)  ).  Have fun with it and Congrats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  :) 


~ Lauren - The Future Mrs. Harvey

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FALLbrideINLOVE Posts : 1,056 Registered: 3/30/07
Re: HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT your second time around?
Posted: Aug 14, 2008 8:14 AM Go to message in response to: nanette927

my mom was remarried 2 years ago.  it was a second marriage for both her and my stepdad, also a first wedding for each of them.

it was the most beautiful wedding i have ever been to.  

 

my mom wore a bride gown because she always wanted to.  they did everything perfectly.  relatives did say things that i'm sure caused my mom to worry but i was there to encourage her and in the end she did what they wanted for themselves as a couple celebrating. 

 

your wedding will be beautiful because you are a beautiful person. love takes center stage at any wedding and when that is strong everything else is illuminated.   



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MichelleandRob Posts : 194 Registered: 5/12/08
Re: HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT your second time around?
Posted: Aug 14, 2008 4:15 PM Go to message in response to: FALLbrideINLOVE

Thank you all for your encouraging words and for sharing your vows. Sheessh, almost made me cry. With wedding planning being stressful at times, it is good to know I can come here and talk to people that understand. Smile
wedding ticker

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TanisJ Posts : 2,669 Registered: 4/25/07
Re: HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT your second time around?
Posted: Aug 14, 2008 8:18 PM Go to message in response to: MichelleandRob

I am so happy you found some encouragement here. I have yet to understand why we should not celebrate love either twice, with a second chance, twice with the same person, twice with two people, or so on...... should we not learn from our lessons and try to move on here or from here one (self admitted buddhist!)

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