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Should I just end it UPDATE on page 6

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totobride Posts : 642 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: Should I just end it?
Posted: Aug 7, 2008 10:23 AM Go to message in response to: ShAyNBrAnDoN

Just a question: how did she get YOUR email?
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ShAyNBrAnDoN Posts : 76 Registered: 6/18/08
Re: Should I just end it?
Posted: Aug 7, 2008 10:29 AM Go to message in response to: totobride

She went to my profile from his. Im assuming she figured out that I was his fiance by looking at the comments we had left each other not to mention that in his profile " I am in love with my girlfriend Shay and cant wait to marry her "it shouldnt have been too hard to figure out that I was the one he was talking about... Unless it si someone setting him up...
CanT waIt To mArRy mY PriNcE ChArMinG

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Ariana1228 Posts : 281 Registered: 3/2/08
Re: Should I just end it?
Posted: Aug 7, 2008 10:31 AM Go to message in response to: ShAyNBrAnDoN

I do agree with ArtBride about the friend thing also ... Sometimes if their guy friends aren't settling down it makes it difficult for them ...

FH's friends are immature for their age and they haven't really been in serious relationships and when we first got engaged they just couldn't relate to us ... they didn't understand it and they constantly busted FH up about it ... he told them to be quiet b/c he was happy and now 7 1/2 months later they have (most of the time) ... they are slowly learning but if a time comes up where they can crack a joke, they make sure they do!!


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BoysMissLady Posts : 933 Registered: 1/18/07
Re: Should I just end it?
Posted: Aug 7, 2008 10:35 AM Go to message in response to: ShAyNBrAnDoN

Shay, honestly there are too many questions here, and most of the answers couldn't possibly suffice.  If he's had NO prior contact with this woman, there is NO reason that he should have started contacting her or responding to her messages.  You bring up a very relevant point, is this girl someone that he has known about b/c she knows where he is.  This would be a MAJOR RED FLAG for me.  Regardless of whether they met or not had he made plans to meet her...and I really don't see any reason for an engaged man to be hanging out ALONE with some girl who's not a relative or FW.

I NEVER tell ppl this (except in cases of abuse)...but run, girl.  I've heard that "poor choice of words" excuse before and it was 10 years ago and still is today a load of sh*t!


 

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Lorilee Posts : 437 Registered: 12/18/07
Re: Should I just end it?
Posted: Aug 7, 2008 10:37 AM Go to message in response to: ShAyNBrAnDoN

One other thing concerns me...

The fact that he calls you his 'girlfriend' on his myspace page. My FH and I would never use the pre-engagement terms for each other. Has he proposed and bought you a ring already? Or is he promising to ask you soon? Really, that screams 'fishy' to me.


Lori & Bob
October 11, 2008

 

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ShAyNBrAnDoN Posts : 76 Registered: 6/18/08
Re: Should I just end it?
Posted: Aug 7, 2008 10:42 AM Go to message in response to: BoysMissLady

He hasn't known this girl. He doesnt even know who she is. I agree that he was stupid to talk to her. I do not agree with it at all. He thinks its someone trying to set him up... He never agreed to meet her alone he suggested she could hangout with all of our friends in Ohio. Which is fine by me I understand she wants to make friends. Its just that there is too much up in the air about this girl... I dont know if its someone making up a fake profile to start stuff and try and set him up. But either way he shouldnt have been so carefree about it. His friends are getting married for the most part. There are a few that are single and he was hoping that maybe one of them could meet this girl and get together? I guess I dont know for sure how it was all supposed to happen. He knows Im pissed that he even so much as agreed to hang out with her. And the fact that he neglected to mention that I am his FIANCE not just some girl who lives in Va. But like I said I dont know how this girl knew where he lived or any of that... none of their messages ever stated where he lived and no where on hie profiles does it say that he lives or visits ohio. It says he lives in VA thats it. So I think someones really doing a good job at causing he and I to fight


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ginmal Posts : 396 Registered: 1/11/08
Re: Should I just end it?
Posted: Aug 7, 2008 10:42 AM Go to message in response to: ShAyNBrAnDoN

""Ariana people do the same to me I get messages like hey youre gorgeous blah blah blah Umm hey i saw your pics and youre cute ... stupid stuff and you know what I say everytime??? I tell them this "I am in a relationship and planning a wedding Im not interested in new friends" And they leave me alone""

And the easiest and most mature way to stop that if you REALLY don't lik eit is to make your profile PRIVATE. I have a myspace, as does my hubby, and we are both set to private...occasionally we will get friend requests from people we don't know and all you have to do is deny them.

I am sorry but this all still isn't making any sense to me...he was supposed to come home tomorrow and you get the email yesterday, so when will they "hang out" and he isn't even talking to this chick on the phone, he is myspacing her. So tell him to delete her...then instantley the problem goes away. And you really don't know if this girl edited the messages before she sent them to you.

I'm sorry but this all sounds like immature childs playground BS to me.


Bless your own day, leave mine alone!Innocent

 

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ShAyNBrAnDoN Posts : 76 Registered: 6/18/08
Re: Should I just end it?
Posted: Aug 7, 2008 10:44 AM Go to message in response to: Lorilee

When he set up his profile we were only dating we weren't engaged. He hasnt changed anything on his profile except the part where it states his relatioship status and that says engaged. He hasnt even changed his location as to where he lives... He tells everyone else at least in front of me he had been that I am his fiance... I dont know what his deal is with this whoel situation....
CanT waIt To mArRy mY PriNcE ChArMinG

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ShAyNBrAnDoN Posts : 76 Registered: 6/18/08
Re: Should I just end it?
Posted: Aug 7, 2008 10:47 AM Go to message in response to: ginmal

He deleted his page this morning. My profile has been on private. People still message me... I just ignore them or tell them Im taken because I am... Like I said I dont know what his deal was.
CanT waIt To mArRy mY PriNcE ChArMinG

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Lorilee Posts : 437 Registered: 12/18/07
Re: Should I just end it?
Posted: Aug 7, 2008 10:50 AM Go to message in response to: ShAyNBrAnDoN

When he was on and changed his 'status', he should have also changed that one word to 'fiance'. I'm sorry, but you really need to stop making excuses for him. As I said before, has he given you a ring? Has he formally proposed? Or just telling people you're engaged while you're with him?

I'm sorry, but I'm adding two and two... and getting five. This doesn't add up.


Lori & Bob
October 11, 2008

 

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,593 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: Should I just end it?
Posted: Aug 7, 2008 10:50 AM Go to message in response to: ShAyNBrAnDoN

Okay I have to head out for the afternoon but I just HAVE to say this before I go.

I think youre placing WAY TOO MUCH EMPHASIS on this girl. Who she is,how she got the email,why shes writing - this is ABSOLUTELY Im 99% sure one of those "fake" girls who sends out emails on MySpace to unsuspecting men who are naive enough to fall for it; because their Ego thinks "ooh she thinks Im great. Let me be nice to her." No normal girl in her right mind messages some random guy out of the blue asking if he will show her around Ohio - THEN messages his fiance to see if its okay. WHAT?? That makes ZERO sense and she is obviously a PLANT or some stupid computerized porn chick or whatever. That shouldnt even be debated. WHAT MATTERS HERE is his REACTION to her. The fact that he called you hid GF, said We'll See what happens, and didnt tell her that he was MOVING! AND the simple fact that he went back and forth with her in the first place and was vague about everything. All red flags, all scream to me "nontrustworthy" - and all need to be talked about at great length.

Who cares about the stupid girl? She means nothing. Shes most likely not even a real person anyway.

 


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NJ4Life Posts : 3,358 Registered: 8/10/07
Re: Should I just end it?
Posted: Aug 7, 2008 10:52 AM Go to message in response to: ShAyNBrAnDoN

if he hasnt changed his location, how did she know he was in OH?

This is why myspace is gay. Its fun to look at people, but some people take everything to heart.


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ArtBride Posts : 4,841 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Should I just end it?
Posted: Aug 7, 2008 10:53 AM Go to message in response to: ShAyNBrAnDoN

I think you're onto something, here. If her only contact with him has been through MySpace, and he doesn't mention Ohio on his MySpace...then how does she know? Is there possibly an angry ex in the picture who might be trying to stir things up? If there is NOTHING on his MySpace about Ohio, then it MUST be someone that knows him (or knows OF him) in real life. I might be starting to get that, 'Am I being punked?' feeling, if I were you and him. Definitely something to consider.

Essentially, though, I agree with what many PPs have said. If he calls you his girlfriend on his MySpace page (not his fiance) and tells some random chick (regardless of whether it's a friend punking him, an ex trying to stir things up, or a real person hitting on him, his reaction was the problem) that his relationship with you isn't that serious...then I think you guys need to have a pretty serious talk. I don't know whether this would be a relationship-ending issue for me (honestly, it would depend on how long we'd been together), but you need to have a serious talk before you go forward with wedding plans...because for whatever reason, he seems to be playing down his relationship with you in order to leave the door open for others. I'd suggest counseling.

Ok, I'm a little confused. You mentioned that he was supposed to be moving back to VA today or tomorrow...is that still the plan? Because honestly, if one fight is enough to make him second-guess his plans to move back to where you are, I wouldn't be willing to commit to him.

 


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Ariana1228 Posts : 281 Registered: 3/2/08
Re: Should I just end it?
Posted: Aug 7, 2008 10:57 AM Go to message in response to: ShAyNBrAnDoN

Is there a reason why his profile was not set to private?

And like Gin said ... he can always delete the problem and block her. Have you encountered any other myspace problems since you have been with him or has it just been since he was away?


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ShAyNBrAnDoN Posts : 76 Registered: 6/18/08
Re: Should I just end it?
Posted: Aug 7, 2008 11:02 AM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

It was my choice for him to not move back tomorrow. I wasn saying that out of pure anger. I think he needs to at least come down so we can talk this out... Face to face... The more I learn about this "girl" the more I feel like is some ex trying to cause problems. Kelley  is right this "girl" isnt the point its his reaction. the fact that he isnt putting our relationship where it should be is the problem. I AM his fiance. He proposed with the ring and all. We have been together long enough that it is worth working out if there isnt more to it than i know about... We shall see. Either way I am going to have to talk to him about it. I can't leave it unresolved. As for the mystery whore I dont really care if shes real or fake or some big fat guy sitting at the computer getting his jollies off making up this bs. FH needs to own up to his actions and the way he discusses our relationship...
CanT waIt To mArRy mY PriNcE ChArMinG

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