MisterKelleys No B.S. Advice Column - NEW- MY Question of the Week #2

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kroberts Posts : 443 Registered: 7/30/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 19, 2008 10:40 PM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life

MisterKelley - Long time reader...first time questioning

Let's pretend Ms.Kelley was going crazy over wedding details. She is literally threatening to throw one or all of the bridal party out of the wedding because they won't conform to her whim. What do you do? Or what would you suggest any husband-to-be do?

P.S. This is not my situation. I am not threatening my bridal party. I just want to know how men talk each other into marrying crazy women.


April 4, 2009 is the BIG day!

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MisterKelley Posts : 258 Registered: 7/11/08
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 20, 2008 7:31 PM Go to message in response to: kroberts

Next up is kroberts, she writes:

MisterKelley - Long time reader...first time questioning

Let's pretend Ms.Kelley was going crazy over wedding details. She is literally threatening to throw one or all of the bridal party out of the wedding because they won't conform to her whim. What do you do? Or what would you suggest any husband-to-be do?

P.S. This is not my situation. I am not threatening my bridal party. I just want to know how men talk each other into marrying crazy women.

Sure, I understand this isn't your personal situation. (wink wink) Let's see, what would Misterkelley do....... what would misterkelley do if Mrs Kelley got all crazy over her wedding details? Well, it's kinda like that scene in Christmas Vacation where Cousin Eddie explains to Clark about  his dog Snots humping his leg - "If he starts in on ya, it's best just to let him finish" BTW, why do people talk in movie quotes? Anyway, Mrs. Kelley is too well in control of herself to ever let that happen. BUT if it did - - -If Mrs. Kelley ever got to the point that she's reprising Glenn Close's charater in Fatal Attraction, Misterkelley is getting the F far, far away from her. Chances are, if she's pissed about something or someone that has nothing to do with me, it's only a matter of time before I get dragged into it and am expected to back up her decisions. Now this is where most guys get into trouble. Let's say that the bride is having a meltdown over the color of the tablecloths, or the caligraphy on the seating cards is that gastly New Roman script instead of the really pretty Meditearranian script, If she even senses the smallest hint that her FH is not in the least bit interested in this, if she gets the "Whatever you think looks the best is fine with me honey" or "It's really not that big of a deal schmoopy" response, it's guaranteed that her head is gonna spin around like Linda Blair in the Exorcist (BTW, why do people use movie scenes to explain a point? -Drives me insane) Therefore the best defense-- the only defense really for the guy, is to vigorously defend her position and decisions and then get the hell outta there as quickly as possible.

Also, how do men talk other men into marrying crazy women? Usually this happens because we don't like the guy. Maybe he's the guy that never buys a round on boy's night out, maybe he's the guy that slept with your girlfriend back in college, got her knocked up and pinned it on you, Maybe he's the guy who got promoted ahead of you at work and you know he's a complete idiot, Either way, the A**hole is gonna pay!!!!  Because even though we know that his FW is certifiably Bi-polar, we're just gonna say congratulations, tell him how lucky he is and what a great woman she is and buy rounds for him all night long!

 

 


EMT - I'm not here to save your life, just prolong your miserable existence

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MisterKelley Posts : 258 Registered: 7/11/08
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 20, 2008 7:35 PM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life

Follow up fron NJ4Life - Snicker, chuckle, chuckle :)

Well the situation happened in yuppy Princeton, but I hear you MisterKelley. From now on I'll say thank you once, while simultaneously covering my chest, shielding my face and holding out my ring.

Thanks, Mister Kelley!

See, I knew that didn't happen in Trenton. Misterkelley - Making life better, one life at a time  :) 


EMT - I'm not here to save your life, just prolong your miserable existence

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 21, 2008 12:07 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

MisterKelley,your reply to KRoberts question was really funny. I just assumed most men either didnt notice or were too wimpy to bring up the "crazy girl" thing; but I like the theory that they just dont LIKE THE GUY and therefore; dont CARE enough to stop him.

Now please answer MrsDs question; because Im also curious about that one,and Im afraid she may have stumped you.

BTW: how dare you go to work and neglect your duties here as MisterKelley? I will have NONE of this!!!! DO YOU HEAR ME??!!! (Oh by the way - would you mind picking up some milk on the way home? Yeah -thatd be good.)


Check out the Wedding Buzz and My Blog @ www.myaislerunner.com

Time for Biggest Loser 7 where TEAM KEL -LIZZA will remain Champions of Weightloss!

"When you're born, you get a free ticket to the Freak Show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat." - R.I.P. George Carlin

 

 

 

 

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MisterKelley Posts : 258 Registered: 7/11/08
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 21, 2008 9:17 PM Go to message in response to: MsDenuninani

Ok, apparently Kelleyiskelley feels that because she has 7000+ posts that she has the right to throw her weight around here and decide when Misterkelley should answer the questions of his many fans.  I'll answer my fan's questions when I'm damn good and ready!!! I'm putting my foot down around here starting right now!!!!!!!!!! 

Ok, Mrs. Kelley says I'm ready now

MsDenuninanionannioninnnan writes:

Dear Mr.Kelley,

From time to time, my husband remarks on another woman's attractiveness.  Mostly celebrities.  Especially Jessica Alba.  I take this in stride, because Jessica Alba is a very attractive woman.  However, whenever I comment on a famous man's attractiveness, my husband immediately feels the need to critique him.  Usually he says something like "Him?  He's so girly!  If you're going to date him, you might as well just date a woman." or "You think he's attractive?  With that forehead?" or "George Clooney has got a little fat and gray over the years, hasn't he?" 

Why can't he let me admire a famous, unattainable man in peace?  Why must he make sarcastic, derisive comments?  After all, I married him, right?  Clearly I have good taste!!

Sincerely,

Wanting to openly admire George Clooney and Matt Damon in peace. 

What he is really doing is saying that nobody other than him is anywhere near good enough for you. George Clooney is fat and Grey, and Matt Damon? Seriously????  So here's what you do. Tell your husband that you admire MisterKelley, then your problem is solved. When he sees that there is a guy that is truly perfect in every possible way, Brad Pitt starts to look like a pretty good alternative and he never questions your judgement again.

It is at this time that MisterKelley would like to acknowledge the attractiveness of Neve Campbell.


EMT - I'm not here to save your life, just prolong your miserable existence

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 22, 2008 12:51 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

Tell your husband that you admire MisterKelley, then your problem is solved. When he sees that there is a guy that is truly perfect in every possible way, Brad Pitt starts to look like a pretty good alternative and he never questions your judgement again.

(Please excuse me while I go vomit.)

It is at this time that MisterKelley would like to acknowledge the attractiveness of Neve Campbell.

Neve Campbell??? Cmon now ... HER? She's not even ... Ah forget it. Shes quite pretty actually. I have nothing to mock and I suck.


Check out the Wedding Buzz and My Blog @ www.myaislerunner.com

Time for Biggest Loser 7 where TEAM KEL -LIZZA will remain Champions of Weightloss!

"When you're born, you get a free ticket to the Freak Show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat." - R.I.P. George Carlin

 

 

 

 

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B2B999 Posts : 700 Registered: 12/7/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 22, 2008 6:20 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

I have to say that I find MisterKelley's advice on this particular topic spot-on. FH used to get all defensive when I would admire the characteristics of an incredibly famous person and had them on my laminated list, however when I finally agreed to remove a person from that list (Brad Pitt as he is now practically married) and instead put on a lesser known (but still technically famous person) he suddenly wished that Brad Pitt was back on the list. 

Therefore I agree with MK if you want your husband to lay off on critiquing your famous infatuations, tell him about an infatuation with a substantially less famous person (aka MK) and he'll be spouting sonnets about the famous guy in no time.  


When is my wedding

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MisterKelley Posts : 258 Registered: 7/11/08
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 22, 2008 8:52 PM Go to message in response to: B2B999

MisterKelley has noticed over the past few days that the number of posts here on the No BS board is falling faster than George W's approval rating. I like to think that this is due to the less than desireable condition of the economy and that things will turn oround. Therefore, in an effort to expidite that turnaround and to get the column moving forward again, I am hereby announcing the misterkelley no BS column stimulus package. This package is designed to get you people back contributing to the growth of the Column. The stimulus will be undertaken in a manner in which you are all familar and comfortable with so there should be no surprises.  So Without further ado, here is the plan : 

I'M LEAVING THE BOARDS!!!!!! you people don't know a good thing when misterkelley smacks you in the face with it!!! You people have a valuable resource here, a wealth of knowledge and experience that you can learn and apply in order to make all of your sorry, miserable, boring, average lives better.  You're not taking advantage of it!!!!!  You know, it isn't easy for Misterkelley you know. It's not easy being the only man in at a showing of Sex In the City!!!! If this column doesn't hit 500 posts, I'm pulling the plug!!! Do you understand? I shall leave and never return!!! WAH!!!!!!!!!!  This applies to all of you except Kelleyiskelley. Honestly Kelley, why do you have to reply to everything I say? I live 4 feet away from you. The rest of you have zero excuses, I know damn well things haven't not "Been crazy here at work" and you just haven't had the time. I also know that for every one person who posts, there are at least 10 "Lurkers" who don't contribute a damn thing. Honestly. I bet these are the same people that spent their Prom and every other school dance standing in a dark corner somewhere, holding up the walls hoping and praying that someone, anyone, even the geeky ass kid with the food in his braces would ask them to dance. So you people better get your s**t together and start participating.

Love -  MisterKelley

P.S. When I do leave the boards, I  shall come back as a totally different screenname and deny that it's really me. A name like Misterkelley 2 or Beach Bum Stephanie.


EMT - I'm not here to save your life, just prolong your miserable existence Message was edited by: MisterKelley

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 22, 2008 9:06 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

I do find this amusing.

I'm truly trying to think of a question to ask....   


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marty08 Posts : 1,110 Registered: 7/1/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 22, 2008 9:33 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

hmmm..well, my stepdaughter doesn't have the sense God gave a goat...heck, that will take you waaaayyyy beyond 500 posts...

oops..sorry, had to edit!!  Cool






 

 

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FinallyMrsF Posts : 285 Registered: 10/24/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 22, 2008 9:36 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

Hi MrKelley,

I have been "lurking" this post since it started and find it refreshingly funny. Why does my family keep telling me there's plenty of time left before the wedding? It's in 3 months for crying outloud! Please give me your insight into this

Thanks

Frustrated Red Sox Fan


Kerri and Michael 10/25/08

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 23, 2008 9:03 AM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

Honestly Kelley, why do you have to reply to everything I say? I live 4 feet away from you.

Well now Im going to reply to everything you say JUST to piss you off and annoy you. Take THAT MisterKelley!


Check out the Wedding Buzz and My Blog @ www.myaislerunner.com

Time for Biggest Loser 7 where TEAM KEL -LIZZA will remain Champions of Weightloss!

"When you're born, you get a free ticket to the Freak Show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat." - R.I.P. George Carlin

 

 

 

 

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CyclistLover Posts : 1,183 Registered: 7/9/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 23, 2008 9:13 AM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

Dear Mr. Kelley,

Why does my DH always want to get busy right before it's time to leave for somewhere important?  Weddings, graduation parties, birthday parties.....I appreciate the attention but can't he wait until we home?????


Happiness is a puppy greeting you at the door!

I hope you don't get hit by a city bus Cool

 

 

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CyclistLover Posts : 1,183 Registered: 7/9/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 23, 2008 9:14 AM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

Dear Mr. Kelley,

Do men notice if women have on cute shoes? 


Happiness is a puppy greeting you at the door!

I hope you don't get hit by a city bus Cool

 

 

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lori83 Posts : 1,852 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 23, 2008 9:16 AM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

Hi MisterKelley, I am one of Kelley's invisible friends. I don't have any questions for you as I live with two men. I guess I should clarify - one is my husband and the other my son. I get all my no BS advice from them. Hang in there though. You are doing great! Much Love,
Lori

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