MisterKelleys No B.S. Advice Column - NEW- MY Question of the Week #2

Online Users: 1,338 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 297


CyclistLover Posts : 1,183 Registered: 7/9/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 17, 2008 9:24 AM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

Mr. Kelley why does my DH think that using his shirt for a hand towel is a good idea?  Or the dog?

Happiness is a puppy greeting you at the door!

I hope you don't get hit by a city bus Cool

 

 

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cyndi33 Posts : 2,585 Registered: 1/3/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 17, 2008 11:32 AM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

Mr. Kelley,

Why is it that my DH believes that changing the oil in my van, or rotating the tires on the van, or any other car type stuff equals the equivalent of giving me flowers and is actually a "romantic" behavior?  This confuses me as cooking his dinner clearly is not equated by him with romantic behavior, it would seem obvious to  me that rotating the tires is equally not romantic.  What's up with that? 


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Angele Posts : 76 Registered: 8/15/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 17, 2008 12:07 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

Hi MisterKelley,

I just responded to another question on this board regarding sending a thank-you to a couple who obviously doesn't deserve it. I think that not sending a thank-you would have been an appropriate response. However I know in this day and age, the trend is to "turn the other cheek" or "take the high road".

So my question is:

In my experience, why is that men seem to have the freedom to get a little of their own back, to be a little mean or vindictive, while women are relegated to the roles of peacemaker? I mean if someone is acting like a sh**, then can't we just take a moment (if our actions aren't outrageous or unnecessarily cruel) and tell that person exactly what we think of them? Why do we need to "turn the other cheek" every freaking time?

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LittleRoo Posts : 1,054 Registered: 2/17/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 17, 2008 12:35 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

"Oh and by the way - Here, have a million dollars. "

I think that is one of the best comebacks of all time.  You guys are so funny. 

But really, can't you guys just get along???  I am literally in tears that you guys are fighting on a website all about love and marriage.  Your are ruining my wedding planning. {Sniffle}

MrsKelley, you should stop yelling just to see if MrKelley really will paint and spackle.

MrKelley, you should wine and dine your wife and write her a love poem about the importance of water conservation.  I bet she would turn off the water and stop yelling too.

Have a consecrated day you guys.

Love, Imaginary Liza


Who's that little couple just sittin' on my wedding cake?

Go Kelliza--cha cha cha...and JAZZ HANDS!!

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MisterKelley Posts : 258 Registered: 7/11/08
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 17, 2008 4:50 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

Alright! I get it!!!  Apparently everyone wants to know why their husbands don't get them flowers. Well, flowers are only good for a few days then they die, An oil change on the other hand lasts for 3000 miles. That's how your husband says " I Love You"  every time you start your car.  Flowers aren't gonna help you out if you're stuck on the side of the road with a blowout because your DH neglected to perform proper regular maintenance.  You women need to get your damn priorities straight!!

And reguarding the comment left by MrsKelley about the million dollars -  Your F'ing check bounced!!! 


EMT - I'm not here to save your life, just prolong your miserable existence

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MisterKelley Posts : 258 Registered: 7/11/08
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 17, 2008 5:23 PM Go to message in response to: Angele

Angele from Ferret's Cove, Tenn. Writes :

In my experience, why is that men seem to have the freedom to get a little of their own back, to be a little mean or vindictive, while women are relegated to the roles of peacemaker? I mean if someone is acting like a sh**, then can't we just take a moment (if our actions aren't outrageous or unnecessarily cruel) and tell that person exactly what we think of them? Why do we need to "turn the other cheek" every freaking time?

Ok listen up people, if Misterkelley is going to have sort out all of you people's catfights, I'm really gonna need some sort of monetary compensation.

Angele, the next time some tree hugging freak starts spouting off what constitutes proper Etiquette to you, Tell her to go outside and play  Hide and go F yourself. Turning the other cheek is for P***ies who can't deal with confrontation. And take the high road? What the F does that mean? does it mean you're the better person if you let some douchebag walk all over you? They obviously don't give 2 S**ts about you so why should you in essence condone that behavior. Next time someone tells you to take the high road, tell her that her husband already tried that with you 6 months ago.  Then see who turns the other cheek.


EMT - I'm not here to save your life, just prolong your miserable existence Message was edited by: MisterKelley

Message was edited by: MisterKelley

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Mrslinnben Posts : 2,285 Registered: 6/4/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 17, 2008 5:27 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

Mr.Kelley,

I always thought my husband was just plain cheap & unimaginative..


The La Kickin' Loosers are gonna kick everyone out of our way of reaching the top prize, so watch out!

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BoysMissLady Posts : 932 Registered: 1/18/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 17, 2008 5:37 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

Next time someone tells you to take the high road, tell her that her husband already tried that with you 6 months ago.  Then see who turns the other cheek.

Surprised

CTFU!!!!

BTW, Mr. Kelley, my FH thinks you are right on about the oil change.  The funny thing is that I need one, and I haven't seen his butt hopping out of bed to get my car down to the quick lube.  Hmmmm...


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MisterKelley Posts : 258 Registered: 7/11/08
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 17, 2008 7:34 PM Go to message in response to: Heidibride30

Heidibride30 asked (3 days ago)

Oh my gosh, I love this thread!!!!!!  Welcome to our little corner of cyberspace, MisterKelley!  I feel as though your presence is long overdue.  I do have a question for you.  If I do 99% of the cooking, is it fair to expect FH to do 99% of the dishes?  Thanks! 

Well that depends Heidi (may I call you Heidi?) Does your cooking suck ass? Does desert for your husband consist of a glass of Pepto Bismol with a cute little paper umbrella on top? 

If so, then he may feel that not only does he not need to do the dishes, maybe you should make it up him in some way, such as dressing up in a hot little french maid uniform and commiting sex acts that are illegal in 37 states.

However, if that's not the case then hell yes you make him do the damn dishes.  Listen, if there's one thing that Mrs. Kelley insists on, it's that MisterKelley pulls his weight around this dump. If I have to do the damn dishes, why the hell should some other useless couch wart get out of it. 


EMT - I'm not here to save your life, just prolong your miserable existence

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 18, 2008 7:44 AM Go to message in response to: Mrslinnben

I always thought my husband was just plain cheap & unimaginative..

Linda; your husband IS plain cheap and unimaginative LOL. Mister Kelley is full of crap.:)

Check out the Wedding Buzz and My Blog @ www.myaislerunner.com

Time for Biggest Loser 7 where TEAM KEL -LIZZA will remain Champions of Weightloss!

"When you're born, you get a free ticket to the Freak Show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat." - R.I.P. George Carlin

 

 

 

 

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NJ4Life Posts : 3,358 Registered: 8/10/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 18, 2008 8:52 AM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

MisterKelly,

If I am walking out of a building through a lobby and someone holds open the 1st set of doors for me and I say thank you, do I have to say Thank You AGAIN if they hold open the 2nd set of doors? I never knew the proper etiquette for this. 

--Vestibule Princess in Down and Dirty Trenton, NJ


Daisypath Next Aniversary Ticker

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MsDenuninani Posts : 3,962 Registered: 3/16/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 18, 2008 4:47 PM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life

Dear Mr.Kelley,

From time to time, my husband remarks on another woman's attractiveness.  Mostly celebrities.  Especially Jessica Alba.  I take this in stride, because Jessica Alba is a very attractive woman.  However, whenever I comment on a famous man's attractiveness, my husband immediately feels the need to critique him.  Usually he says something like "Him?  He's so girly!  If you're going to date him, you might as well just date a woman." or "You think he's attractive?  With that forehead?" or "George Clooney has got a little fat and gray over the years, hasn't he?" 

Why can't he let me admire a famous, unattainable man in peace?  Why must he make sarcastic, derisive comments?  After all, I married him, right?  Clearly I have good taste!!

Sincerely,

Wanting to openly admire George Clooney and Matt Damon in peace.


__________________________________________
"I'm asking you to believe.  Not just in my ability to bring about real change in Washington. . .I'm asking you to believe in yours." - Barack Obama

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HLYflute Posts : 1,282 Registered: 2/5/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 18, 2008 5:17 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

However, if that's not the case then hell yes you make him do the damn dishes.  Listen, if there's one thing that Mrs. Kelley insists on, it's that MisterKelley pulls his weight around this dump. If I have to do the damn dishes, why the hell should some other useless couch wart get out of it. 

First of all, I agree that husbands should do the dishes.  But how can I get mine to actually clean all the food off of the pans?  I do all the cooking (it's pretty good too, if I do say so myself!).  If I weren't here DH would eat nothing but frozen pizzas.  But he doesn't actually scrub the pans when he cleans up.  I just went down to put some meat in the oven a few minutes ago, and there was still debris all over it from last time... after DH had "washed" it and put it away!  So I had to wash it again myself (he's at work), thus defeating the purpose of him having done the dishes in the first place.  Do they make special man glasses for this? 

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MisterKelley Posts : 258 Registered: 7/11/08
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 19, 2008 2:26 PM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life

NJ4Life writes:

MisterKelly,

If I am walking out of a building through a lobby and someone holds open the 1st set of doors for me and I say thank you, do I have to say Thank You AGAIN if they hold open the 2nd set of doors? I never knew the proper etiquette for this. 

--Vestibule Princess in Down and Dirty Trenton, NJ

Do you expect me to believe that you had someone actually open doors for you in Trenton NJ??  Please people, if you're going to submit questions for Misterkelley, I'd appreciate it if they had some basis in reality. Misterkelley's advice column won't remain legitimate for long if I keep getting questions like - Misterkelley, my FH thinks that my boobs are too big, doesn't like to play with them and wants me to get a breast reduction. What should I do? Or Misterkelley, how do I convince my DH that we really do need a 52" High Def TV with surround sound, and the premium NFL football package?  But for the enlightenment of all the other women on here who live in places where a guy has a reasonable chance of holding 2 doors open for a woman, I offer the following:

 Never under any circumstances say thank you for any door held open for you past the first one. There's a reason for this. You see, when a guy opens a door for a woman, he's looking at 3 things-  the face, the tits and the left hand. Operating on the "Best 2 out of 3" rule, if it checks out positive, he'll deem that you are worthy of a second door opening and the posibility that you may receptive to one of his many stupid, opening lines - Like "It's always a pleasure to open a door for a beautiful woman" Oh brother!!!! give me an F'in break. A "Thank you" after the first door opening is customary and correct. But by not acknowledging the second, you are sending a clear, undisputable message that you know what he's really doing and that he's disgusting, pig.

Many a woman has fallen into the old thank you for opening the second door trick, and gotten stuck into actually having to converse further with some freak that thinks you might actually like him. Don't let this happen to you. Before you can ask yourself, what the hell just happened? you're Rewashing the dishes he "Allegedly" already washed, and wiping up 5 inches of water off the bathroom floor.


EMT - I'm not here to save your life, just prolong your miserable existence

Message was edited by: the Grammerically challenged MisterKelley


Message was edited by: MisterKelley

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NJ4Life Posts : 3,358 Registered: 8/10/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 19, 2008 9:05 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

Well the situation happened in yuppy Princeton, but I hear you MisterKelley. From now on I'll say thank you once, while simultaneously covering my chest, shielding my face and holding out my ring.

Thanks, Mister Kelley!


Daisypath Next Aniversary Ticker

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