MisterKelleys No B.S. Advice Column - NEW- MY Question of the Week #2

Online Users: 1,227 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 297


RoBelle Posts : 1,236 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 14, 2008 9:52 AM Go to message in response to: B2B999

OMG. . . THIS IS TOTALLY FREAKIN FUNNY AS HECK!!!!

I have no questions for you Mr. Kelley but WELCOME!!!  You have such a beautiful, lovely wife. . . as if you didn't know that already! Tongue out


 

 

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CyclistLover Posts : 1,183 Registered: 7/9/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 14, 2008 10:05 AM Go to message in response to: RoBelle

Hi Mr. Kelley - you have officially become one of my favorite posters!! 

I have a question - has Mrs. Kelley banned you from reading certain threads so she still has her "own" space to complain about silly man things - like butt scratching?  OH and speaking of scratching - why do men like to scratch their butt in the morning? 

And why does my husband think t-shirts with words are  appropriate attire for any occassion? 


Happiness is a puppy greeting you at the door   - Llama Jjamas

 

 

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Message was edited by: CyclistLover

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Heidibride30 Posts : 1,201 Registered: 4/16/08
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 14, 2008 10:30 AM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

Oh my gosh, I love this thread!!!!!!  Welcome to our little corner of cyberspace, MisterKelley!  I feel as though your presence is long overdue.  I do have a question for you.  If I do 99% of the cooking, is it fair to expect FH to do 99% of the dishes?  Thanks! 

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CyclistLover Posts : 1,183 Registered: 7/9/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 14, 2008 10:46 AM Go to message in response to: Heidibride30

Mr. Kelley - why do men never want to stop and ask for directions?

Happiness is a puppy greeting you at the door!

I hope you don't get hit by a city bus Cool

 

 

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Lorilee Posts : 437 Registered: 12/18/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 14, 2008 1:26 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

Alright, MisterKelley. I've got a question for you.

Would it be terribly offensive of me to tell my entire family on my father's side to take a flying leap off a cliff? Two uncles owe my father money... one stressed me out so much at my mother's funeral that I broke down and cried, and now my father expects me to invite these people. Father is paying for the reception now, apparently, and because of it, he thinks he should have the final say. So... what would YOU do.


Lori & Bob
October 11, 2008

 

Daisypath Wedding Ticker

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 14, 2008 5:26 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

OOH OOH ME NEXT, ME NEXT ...

I want to be insulted and yelled at by MisterKelley!!! YAY!!! 

Dear Mister Kelley,

Whenever my husband goes into the bathroom; he comes out and EVERYTHING is soaking wet. The doorknob is wet, the sink is wet, the entire floor is wet, the sides of the tub, the rug, the mirror, and HE himself is sopping wet. What in the hell is this all about? Has the man ever heard of a freakin TOWEL? He claims that he uses one, but apparently hes not doing it correctly. Its very annoying because I then go in there and slip slide all over the place,and cant lean against the sink to brush my teeth etc because my shirt gets all WET from his sopping water all over the place. MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!!

Thank you MisterKelley. :)

-- Desperate,Confused,and Flooded in New Jersey

 


Check out the Wedding Buzz and My Blog @ www.myaislerunner.com

Time for Biggest Loser 7 where TEAM KEL -LIZZA will remain Champions of Weightloss!

"When you're born, you get a free ticket to the Freak Show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat." - R.I.P. George Carlin

 

 

 

 

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B2B999 Posts : 700 Registered: 12/7/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 14, 2008 7:51 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

Wow Kelley I have the EXACT same problem - I too would like an answer to the mysterious water! 
When is my wedding

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MisterKelley Posts : 258 Registered: 7/11/08
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 14, 2008 10:45 PM Go to message in response to: B2B999

I''m noticing a recurrant theme in tonight's set of questions to MisterKelley- you people have some seriously dysfunctional families. 

It's kinda like, in every family, you have the people who are really great, smart, fun, cool relatives. The ones you love being with and having around. Then, inevitably, you have the knuckle dragging side of the family. These are the ones who never really understood why it's not such a good idea to stick straws in light sockets, the ones who swear up and down that the two absolute truths in life aren't death and taxes, it's Pro Wrestling is legitimate and there's a giant government coverup of UFOs.

As an EMT, I see and deal with these kinds of people everyday and it's a well documented fact that 80% of al 911 calls begin in one of two ways :  1) Hey Ya'll, Watch this!!  and 2) Hey Booger, C'mere and hold my beer.    These Rocket Surgeons can really test you patience just while you're dealing with everyday life, But for some reason, it seems that their amount of stupidity increases proportionally to the importance of a special occasion. When that Special occasion is your wedding,it's almost unavoidable that you'll have to deal with an endless amount of stupid s**t.

I've created a mathmatical equation that should help you understand this better. Here it is :

Stupid, Freaking Nimrod relatitive + posable thumbs = nightmare and aggrevation for you.

All I can tell you is you're not alone. We all have these burdens. Some of us deal with them by avoiding them (Smart whenever you can). Some of us deal with them with a little help from bad turkey. And sometimes they fall victim to being run over in your driveway --- 15 times!!!!  (Understandable but not really recommended.) Either way, I'm here to try to help you out so here we go.


EMT - I'm not here to save your life, just prolong your miserable existence

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MisterKelley Posts : 258 Registered: 7/11/08
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 14, 2008 11:06 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

Ok B2B999  from Fumunda Falls, Wy  has a a FH who's Brother apparently has always been PITA and is pitching a bitch about inviting his brother, cousins, aunt, uncle (Jeez!! is there anyone on his side he does want to invite?) How do I make him realize that they should be included in the wedding?

Well B2B, this really isn't all that difficult, here's what you do. You simply explain to you FH that if all the relatives that have pissed him off over the course of his life are all in the same place at the same time, it makes it infinitely easier to plow them all over with the limo that you have surely rented for the big day.  


EMT - I'm not here to save your life, just prolong your miserable existence

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B2B999 Posts : 700 Registered: 12/7/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 14, 2008 11:16 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

I think you have failed to grasp the root cause of the problem - FH keeps offering opinions and suggestions and having IDEAS about the wedding. This is making it very difficult to have MY DAY be all about ME, therefore I need you, as a man, to tell me the secret to getting my FH to be a mindless droid. (Also how to get him to stop flooding our bathroom every time he takes a shower and to put down the damn toilet seat) 

 

By the way I am from NJ, however as you are a Yankees fan I will not cut you for making an inference that I could possibly be from any other place on the planet. 

 

When is my wedding

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 14, 2008 11:20 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

OK, I got overlooked once, but I have a doozy now - what would you tell your FW or DW (Future/Dear Wife) if she bought a couple of dresses that she felt like $100 in, but when she wore one out her FIL mentioned her cleavage indicating that it was overexposed? 

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MisterKelley Posts : 258 Registered: 7/11/08
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 14, 2008 11:54 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

Cyclistlover  writes :

Has Mrs Kelley banned me from reading certain threads so she can have her own space and bitch about why men scratch their asses in the morning.

Well Cyclist, No, Mrs Kelley has not banned me from other threads. She doesn't have to, You see, Mr. Kelley has a life.Do you honestly think that I have any amount of interest in other threads such as What is the correct way to fold the table napkins? I can't figure out how to do it!! It's totally unfair! WAH!!! or  Help!! my mother said I can only spend $20,000 on my dress and I think that's totally unfair WAH!  or What should I do girls? I'm very upset!! I really want to get married in Newark NJ, but my mother insists that the wedding be in Southern France overlooking the beautiful Pyrennes Mountains at sunset. And then spend a romantic Honeymoon strolling along the Seine River in Paris!!  It's totally unfair!!  Wah!!! 

Ok, unfortunately, that's all the time we have for today. Stop Bawling!! Shut up, more Life enlightenment with MisterKelley to come - stay tuned.


EMT - I'm not here to save your life, just prolong your miserable existence

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 15, 2008 12:01 AM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

I have to admit I am enjoying this.

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kroberts Posts : 443 Registered: 7/30/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 15, 2008 9:42 AM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

At the risk of inflating his ego...

You're good. The way you describe the other threads that you haven't visited, I'd swear you were there every day. Perhaps Mrs. Kelley gives you the highlights.


April 4, 2009 is the BIG day!

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B2B999 Posts : 700 Registered: 12/7/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 15, 2008 9:52 AM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

I agree this is fun - I do have one personal question for MisterKelley....what is your nickname for us ladies? I can't possibly be the only one with a FH who nicknames us, so what is yours?
When is my wedding

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