I'm done with this. This isn't for me.

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Love2u Posts : 1,661 Registered: 10/24/07
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too fa
Posted: Jun 24, 2008 1:40 PM Go to message in response to: MrsDupont

This comment is a complete and utter hijack from this thread and is completely irrelevant to the situation at hand....

Mrs Dupont - I just realized that you are due right before I'm getting married.  You'll take away from me posting my photos from the wedding by posting photos of your cute adorable baby.  THAT's NOT FAIR.


Love2uKiss

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MrsDupont Posts : 1,574 Registered: 4/14/06
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too fa
Posted: Jun 24, 2008 1:45 PM Go to message in response to: Love2u

well... are you going on your honeymoon right away?  Well i guess it doesnt matter....

How about this... I'll wait till you post your wedding pictures beforei post my baby pictures LOL ... i probably wont be posting right away anyways! 

I dont want to steal your lime light! ... Its all about you girl! Sealed


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MuffinB Posts : 778 Registered: 7/13/07
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too fa
Posted: Jun 24, 2008 2:05 PM Go to message in response to: nmtgirl

nmtgirl- My point of view will never make sense to you. Just like most of the things you have said make zero sense to me and most of the ladies here. Well maybe when you grow up and mature a little more, what we've said will finally click.

You calling me muffin top only proved your level of maturity. Trust me when I say that you did not "teach me a lesson" or hurt my feelings.

 

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BirdLover Posts : 2,834 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too fa
Posted: Jun 24, 2008 2:42 PM Go to message in response to: MuffinB

To the original poster: if what you say is true, and FMIL really did poison your FH, has he cut off all contact with her?  He should have.  And if he hasn't, he may well be sick, too.  If he's willing to stay with someone who tried to make him physically ill, than he has a huge dependancy issue and definitely needs counselling.

(I'm not saying that to be mean...I honestly think that counselling can be great)

Have you considered counselling for the two of you, anyway, to deal with his overbearing mother?  As you've stated, when she told him not to visit you, he basically listened, so I think he needs some help with learning to say no.


In addition, are you planning on having children?  If so, be prepared to never let FMIL babysit them.  Suppose she poisons them, like she did to your FH.  Suppose you have to take the child to the hospital, and child servies is called.  What do you think they are going to think when you say "Oh, well, yes, we let someone babysit them who has poisoned her own son".

Things can blackball a LOT more easily than you may think.

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Amaryillis Posts : 139 Registered: 6/10/08
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too fa
Posted: Jun 24, 2008 3:46 PM Go to message in response to: nmtgirl

Did fmil force future hubby to eat bad food?  Perhaps this is exactly what you think it is, but I find it hard to believe that any mother would do such a thing.  I also find your compassion a little lacking.  Kindness costs nothing and yet is so valuable.  Paul is a big boy - he needs to deal with his mother and does have a moral obligation to her in some respects.  Good luck with your recovery. 
Have a blessed day!Cool

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Love2u Posts : 1,661 Registered: 10/24/07
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too fa
Posted: Jun 24, 2008 4:08 PM Go to message in response to: MrsDupont

Embarassed Thanks MrsDupont!  You're swell!
Love2uKiss

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nmtgirl Posts : 142 Registered: 2/12/07
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Posted: Jun 24, 2008 5:17 PM Go to message in response to: Love2u

You know what, ladies, this has just gotten out of hand. Yes, the muffin-top comment was uncalled for and completely rude and inappropriate. I apologize. I didn't even mean it personally towards MuffinB but as a commentary on how low the comments on age and things were getting. But nevertheless, it was done in low-class and I apologize for that.

But, ladies, I am not some monster. I am human. I am sure you too have have a bad week and done and said things that weren't perfect and in hindsight should have been handled differently - especially in situations where you were already emotionally charged. Obviously I was emotional if I came here to vent. Does that mean that I am saying I am a saint who should be forgiven because it wasn't my fault? No. Not at all. I'm just saying I'm sure none of you would want to be judged solely on one situation where you weren't at the top of your game.

Now, I recognize a lot of the names in here because I have been on a lot of the threads that you started and helped to support you. I'm not a newcomer here. Just someone who has had a bad week and handled things in ways that should have been handled differently. I usually do better. But this time I let things get the better of me and I'm sorry.

Now, to the original reason why I came here to vent, maybe it was a little premature and melodramatic but keyword here is venting. I'm sure that you all have gone somewhere that you thought you were among friends and said something like, "Oooh and I bet she did it on purpose too." That's what I meant. Now, I don't have proof and never will. It's a huge gray area. Personally, do I have a huge hunch based on past experience with this woman that she probably did something hoping this would be the result? Heck yes. And I have no problem if you disagree with that.

It happens to be one of my trigger points when someone simply assumes that I am too young to do something because of my age. A lot of the things that I wrote in here where meant not to prove that I am old enough to get married but that age is not the only factor to a person and that you should look a little deeper. It is also one of my biggest fears that I will be compared to FH's horrible mother. So saying that he should leave because I'm the same or worse is very hurtful to me. By saying that I get defensive about things that come to him, I didn't mean out in the real world any more. I meant internally. I was trying to apologize and explain why I was taking some of this personally.

Anyway, I think I am done with Brides.com. I just don't think that it is the place for me. I came here with expectations of what I thought it would be and it is apparent that I was wrong. I hope that you all have beautiful weddings, even more beautiful babies, and happy lives.





 


Message was edited by: nmtgirl

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RanAway2Maine Posts : 2,359 Registered: 1/27/08
Re:
Posted: Jun 24, 2008 6:06 PM Go to message in response to: nmtgirl

It's unfortunate that you are deciding to leave Brides.com. Why don't you just deal with this problem on your own. You know what to do. But you don't have to leave the Message Boards. That is ultimately your decision.

When someone initiates a new thread, the posters only give you suggestions based upon the facts that are provided. All threads are subject to attack because we come from all walks of life.

I don't believe anybody has "judged" you. We don't know you from a hole in the wall. I am very sorry you are going through this, but there are (older and more mature) women who have had a ton of let's say "life experiences" (myself included) and are willing to offer our experiences for the benefit of others. Nobody likes to get slammed. 

We can look at a situation based upon facts provided and offer sound suggestions. It's up to the poster to take or leave them. Sometimes others can see red flags that the OP cannot. 

You really don't have to leave. People will still give you the respect you deserve.  Let this go and deal with this issue-you can take some of the advice or you can leave it.

Or you can choose to turn your back on these brilliant suggestions and do nothing at all and leave the Boards.  


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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re:
Posted: Jun 24, 2008 6:11 PM Go to message in response to: RanAway2Maine

Well this is certainly an anticlimactic ending ....

I feel like I went to a movie and the reel broke halfway through.

Up to you OP; but I just will NEVER quite understand ANYONE who lets a bunch of complete strangers' comments affect them to the point where they need to "leave the boards." And whats the point of deleting your original post if youre leaving? Im so confused.


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RanAway2Maine Posts : 2,359 Registered: 1/27/08
Re:
Posted: Jun 24, 2008 6:16 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

I dunno, Kelley-

When I was 20 yo, I would do things to get attention. If she had really meant to leave the Boards, she would have left with no warning.

I hope she does the right thing..... 


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stargazer9 Posts : 448 Registered: 12/20/06
Re:
Posted: Jun 24, 2008 6:18 PM Go to message in response to: nmtgirl

Never really followed this thread except for right at the beginning and I knew it had potential to explode so I stayed clear of it.  I'm not really one who could give any advice to a situation like this anyways.

Anyway I'm sorry you came here to vent and things got out of hand on both sides and I'm sorry you've decided to leave the boards because of one thread.  No matter what you end up doing in your future I hope it works out for you, take care. 


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bride4life Posts : 499 Registered: 3/28/06
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Posted: Jun 24, 2008 6:26 PM Go to message in response to: stargazer9

I think she went through and deleted everything she wrote.  She must of had a lot of time on her hands.  What is deleting each individual response going to delete it from our memories?  I am sure she will still be on the boards.  She might change her screen name.

"Leaving the boards" over this does show her maturity level.  She IS too young to get married. 

 

 

 

Message was edited by: bride4life


Message was edited by: bride4life

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: I'm done with this. This isn't for me.
Posted: Jun 24, 2008 7:37 PM Go to message in response to: nmtgirl

"Goodbye, Cruel Forum."

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Mushaboo Posts : 2,165 Registered: 3/22/08
Re:
Posted: Jun 24, 2008 8:47 PM Go to message in response to: nmtgirl

I'm with StarG here that I watched this in the beginning and then let it go!  Well, here I come again in for round 2- well, more like round 9, but I'm throwing myself out there.

OP, you are in the eyes of society nothing more than a statistic.  If one brings up your age and its relationship to marriage, just know that you fall into that 40% category of marriages that end in divorce when the bride is under 22.  The stats are on the CDC site or a variety of sites such as divorcepeers, Census, etc.  For you to get upset when people have nothing but facts to go on (because they don't know you) only validates their point about your vent. 

Side note- you know what's funny!  You got pissed about something saying something about your age, but hey, there's stats out there to say that interracial marriages fail, different religious beliefs cause marriages to fail, social habits like drinking or drugs cause marriages to fail.  Don't take it so personally. 

I read through most of this (before the deleted posts which by the way doesn't help your maturity case either).  It seems like yes, there were people who said that yes FMIL was probably a crazy bitch.  Kelley's story floored and saddened me the most!  So, bad turkey is at this point just crappy food.  Did she neglect to get the food out?  Yep.  Did she want to kill her son?  Nope.  Is your FH too co-dependent on his mom?  Yep.  He needs a doctor that isn't his parent.  I mean, what if he got an STD.  Is that something you want to share with Mom?  Probably not.  In regards to why he was there in the first place, she's the one that didn't give a crap her husband died.  If she doesn't want to care, why the heck would FH bother to move there and care for her? 

I could go on for hours about this.  Saying your FH has to grow up and get this ON HIS OWN is common F'ing sense.  It's natural personal evolution!  Saying you need to mature a little isn't an insult, it's a DUH! moment.  Trust me when I say this.  If you are 20, the person you will be at 25 will be drastically different!  That progression will continue for the rest of your life.  All the BS I got pissed off about at 20 doesn't even make me bat an eye at 26.

Leaving the boards is just retarded.  I'll say it!  Listen again, it's retarded!  We are all very different women.  We will never ever agree on everything.  If you think that these threads are supposed to be a Hallmark moment, then again, that's something that will change the older you get and the more life experiences you have.  Everyone on here has probably annoyed me at least once.  Who cares?  Am I going to not read a thread by Art or Kelley just because they called me a bitter whiney baby on another thread?  No.  Why not?  Well, I have the cognizance that allows my brain to grasp they are living a life very different from mine and have had seperate situations. 

Age is your "piss off button."  Art doesn't like the term "bridezilla."  I see red if you call me "blondie."  Gin isn't big on religion driving people's lives.  Chevy doesn't like the color pink.  Kelley doens't want to give up on NY.  In the end, who friggin' cares.  I hope you enjoyed the read.  I'm sure if you aren't posting, you're still reading.  Don't cop out on the boards just because someone was mean to you.  Just silly.  That's my vent.  And no one pick on me (whaaaaaa)- I ate tomatoes!  It took me 45 minutes to write my post because of having to run to the bathroom.  I'm not kidding.  I, as an adult, ate food I know kills my tummy.  Maybe now I need counseling.


http://www.mywedding.com/robertandginger

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re:
Posted: Jun 24, 2008 10:51 PM Go to message in response to: Mushaboo

Honestly, by deleting the posts and possibly her subsequent replies (I haven't confirmed that, but if she did, well she borrowed a page from Beca and her "Sticky Situation"), she confirmed that she's immature. 

Good riddance ---  POOF! 


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