I'm done with this. This isn't for me.

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nmtgirl Posts : 142 Registered: 2/12/07
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too fa
Posted: Jun 23, 2008 9:04 PM Go to message in response to: MuffinB

:)

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nmtgirl Posts : 142 Registered: 2/12/07
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too fa
Posted: Jun 23, 2008 9:24 PM Go to message in response to: nmtgirl

:)



 

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Camrynsmom Posts : 158 Registered: 2/26/08
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too fa
Posted: Jun 24, 2008 1:20 AM Go to message in response to: nmtgirl

I am sorry for adding my 2 cents but.....even though you are engaged to be married.......these crazy stories about him not coming to see you after surgery.....the bad turkey excuse....

These sound like the battlecries of a CHEATER!!!  Ever hear the term "when the cat's away, the mouse will play?"  Or "The Last Hoorah?'

I am not trying to be cynical, I have been cheated on once before in a previous relationship and the crazy stories just kept adding up one after the other after the other.  And I have a friend recently who caught her BF cheating, had a similar situation and was COMPLETELY blind to it for months until the fateful phone call from the other girl came in................

I hope this is not the case, but I don't think it is the meat that smells fishy in this story..........I would do some investigating if I were you..........


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nmtgirl Posts : 142 Registered: 2/12/07
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too fa
Posted: Jun 24, 2008 1:38 AM Go to message in response to: Camrynsmom

:)



 


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Camrynsmom Posts : 158 Registered: 2/26/08
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too fa
Posted: Jun 24, 2008 2:11 AM Go to message in response to: nmtgirl

I graduated with a class of 679 and the population of my town was about 70,000....I guess that means I know nothing of living in a small town....lol!

Anyway, glad to hear you are confident that he is not cheating.......then, jury is in

SHE'S FREAKING NUTS!


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nmtgirl Posts : 142 Registered: 2/12/07
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too fa
Posted: Jun 24, 2008 2:25 AM Go to message in response to: Camrynsmom

:)



 


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mobride09 Posts : 519 Registered: 3/5/08
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too fa
Posted: Jun 24, 2008 6:44 AM Go to message in response to: nmtgirl

I know about the small town thing myself.  Everyone knows what everyone is doing (including your grandma).  I grew up in a town of about 300. There were 22 people in my senior class.  Now THAT's small!


 

 

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too fa
Posted: Jun 24, 2008 7:18 AM Go to message in response to: mobride09

Oh wow, so now this has turned into a 'But I AM OLD ENOUGH TO GET MARRIED, you MEANIES!!!!' 

OP, I realize you were venting. I have no problem with venting. I do, however, think that a (presumably) 20-something year old man who is dumb enough to eat bad turkey DESERVES WHAT HE GETS. So I guess I don't see why this is a vent about your FMIL, as she is not the one who ate the bad food. If you want to vent about your FH being stupid enough not to recognize that food is too old to eat, I sympathize....but I REALLY don't see how this is your FMIL's fault AT ALL.

And I really don't see what your age, health condition, or the size of your town has to do with anything. Except the fact that since you and your FH are so old and wise, he should be able to recognize old turkey when he sees it.  


DaisypathWedding Ticker

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kennysoldwife Posts : 3,859 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too fa
Posted: Jun 24, 2008 8:18 AM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

This whole thread has been really strange to me.  OP continues to defend her FH as if he is the same little kid she used to defend.  That is sad. 

This young man is going from one controlling woman to another.  He doesn't seem to be able to stand on his own two feet.   He will always have these two women fighting over him because one of them is going to want to be in control. 

This relationship is probably going to last because OP says so.  FH husband will not say different no matter what he is feeling because he can't.  I truly feel sorry for the both of them.

I know I don't know you or your FH but just based on what you have said I get the feeling that you have been in charge of this relationship all along.  That is where the conflict with FMIL is coming from she does not wish to give up her control.  

I don't think this has anything to do with her being recently widowed, it has to do with the fact that she can still control her son.  The fact that he has to sneak around to see you say she is the one with the power.  

I am not going to say leave him because of all the red flags because that will do no good.  YOUR plan to get counseling is a good idea.  I hope you allow the counselor the opportunity to do their job. 


Kenny and Me Perfect Together,  10 years and counting.

 

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ginmal Posts : 396 Registered: 1/11/08
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too fa
Posted: Jun 24, 2008 8:41 AM Go to message in response to: kennysoldwife

I am sorry but I find something TERRIBLY wrong with the OP creating a post ACCUSING her FMIL of POISIONING (which to me is a HUGE and horrid thing to do to someone) her FH. When in reality her FH was just a dumbass who ate some bad meat...which had he been a adult with some common sense would have never happened.

OP my MIL is horrible. So much that, she did not come to my wedding, and my DH and I have not had anythingto do with erh for the past 2 years! Which was my DH's choice...as it's HIS mother. And well, my DH is a MAN, and can stand up to his mommy and put his family (me and our child) FIRST!!

It sounds like your FH is a sheltered mommas boy and once he marries you will go from mommas boy, to letting YOU control him. He is jumping from his controlling mother...to YOU OP. I honestly feel bad for your FH. I think YOU need to get some counseling on your own, and possibly enroll your FH in some cooking classes so he can learn some food saftey.

Because really OP, for someone who is as "smart" as you say you are........a person who puts BAD MEAT into their OWN MOUTH is not the victim of a poisioning!!!

Rather than spending so much time whining about how you areold enough and smart enough to be married maybe you should spend a little time figuring out the REAL definition of a GROWN, MATURE, ADULT!!

And I will end this post with this.........

Gobble, gobble, gobble.......


**Formerly Gin & Gin13...forgot my password!! LOL**

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Lorilee Posts : 437 Registered: 12/18/07
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too fa
Posted: Jun 24, 2008 9:04 AM Go to message in response to: nmtgirl

One more post, and then I’m done here, I swear.

 

From the OP made, I saw nothing that jumped out at me saying that your FMiL was trying to poison your FH. I still don’t. I do, however, see warning flags going up all over the place. I wouldn’t advise leaving him over this, but I would advise that you at least offer your opinion on this to your FH, and if he asks for it, what you think he should do. My advice would be to try to get him out of that situation as soon as possible.

 

As for a vent…

 

If you don’t want other people to read your venting, write it out. Type it on livejournal or facebook, or whatever, and set it to private. But to post it on a discussion forum is almost asking for a response, y’know? I realize this was a vent, and that you’re not always going to like what you hear, probably because most of us tend to be truthful, and perhaps even blunt. But I, for one, can say that while I may not like some advice, it is their opinion, and I do respect that. Going off on a rant about our respective opinions, when we only have the OP to go off of, requires backstory, which you have now provided for us.

 

Being rude to someone who was originally trying to be helpful, though, is where I draw the line. I’m sorry, but the ‘muffin-top’ comment seems out of line to me, but, again, that is only my opinion.

 

I won’t say much on the age debate, since I, myself, am a young bride. However, the name calling, and some of the general attitude I see on here makes me wonder about the maturity level of you, and your FH. Not trying to be mean, but, honestly, what 20-year-old man doesn’t rationalize when they last had turkey? ESPECIALLY since he’s living there. Even my FH, who has no short-term memory (due to a drug-induced coma, after he went into stasis), has the sense to inspect something before he eats it, and if there is doubt, will either ask, or just not eat it. As I said, I’m seeing some immaturity on man fronts here, as in name calling, and it does make me question your maturity level.

 

But I do wish you the best of luck, and hope for the best for you and yours.


Lori & Bob
October 11, 2008

 

Daisypath Wedding Ticker

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BoysMissLady Posts : 932 Registered: 1/18/07
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too fa
Posted: Jun 24, 2008 9:33 AM Go to message in response to: kennysoldwife

KNW, girl, you took the words right outta my mouth.

OP, I think the behavior you are exhibiting here is the exact way you behave with your FH.  You do not have to defend him to us.  We are not the bullies that picked on him as a child.  But what you and his mother must do is allow this man to grow up.  I promise you, you had better allow this man to be a MAN or he will resent you for it.  I've seen it too many times.  And that is not a generalization.  That is not an assumption.  That is a FACT of human behavior.


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PLysak Posts : 288 Registered: 7/8/07
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too fa
Posted: Jun 24, 2008 10:05 AM Go to message in response to: BoysMissLady

I think that the fact that the OP had to resort to name-calling (the muffin-top comment) proves that she isn't mature enough to get married.

I've had strong disagreements with a lot of people on this board (the whole gay marriage thing), but I treated everyone's opinion with respect, and I've never called anyone names.  I'm a big girl.

And here's my snarky comment for the month:  your FH should run far away from both you and his mom.  Maybe then he can grow a pair and be a man, instead of a boy that 2 mommy figures are fighting to control.


Priscilla & John

Crazy for each other, since 1995.

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MsDenuninani Posts : 3,962 Registered: 3/16/07
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too fa
Posted: Jun 24, 2008 10:17 AM Go to message in response to: BoysMissLady

Oh why not throw my 2 cents in here. . .

Look, here's the problem.  Your FMIL is crazy.  Obviously.  If I take everything you say as absolute truth (and I have no other choice) then she probably did deliberately leave old food in her fridge knowing that her son would eat it, i.e., knowing that her son did not know enough about how to take care of himself so that he would not eat old, leftover food.

Now you say (I think) that he ate it beause he doesn't know any better, for whatever reasons (he was tired, he's a guy, he trusted his mother, etc.)

That's just stupid.

Look, if he's got a manipulative mother, then he needs to recognize that.  And the younger you are, the more likely you are to let others manipulate you.  And the more likely you are to let others manipulate you, then the more problematic your marriage is going to be.

That's the relevant connection, as I see it, between your ages and marriage.

My problem with your vent (and I understand that it is a vent) is that you put a lot of blame on your FMIL, and none on your FH, who should know better.  Which seems to let your FH off scott free -- he gets to take zero responsibility for putting himself in harms way.  Perhaps this was a momentary thing, but these things aren't usually solo incidents.  They are usually a part of a pattern.  Which is why people suggest that maybe you should think twice about this marriage.

But, as you have pointed out, I don't know you, I don't know your FH, I don't know if this is some isolated idiotic behavior on his part or indeed part of a long-going pattern.  Only you know that for sure.  I suggest that you do your best to make sure that it is not the latter before you say "I do."

And another thing -- get your FH some food/grocery/cooking lessons, stat.  Because that's something basic that every person should know when it comes to being part of a household.  Being a man is no excuse.  Think about it.  One day you might like him to cook you a meal, and it would be best if he knows about the sniff test before he makes you sick, too.

Good luck.


__________________________________________
"I'm asking you to believe.  Not just in my ability to bring about real change in Washington. . .I'm asking you to believe in yours." - Barack Obama

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MrsDupont Posts : 1,574 Registered: 4/14/06
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too fa
Posted: Jun 24, 2008 1:29 PM Go to message in response to: MsDenuninani

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!


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