I'm done with this. This isn't for me.

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notjustaprettyf... Posts : 41 Registered: 6/9/08
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too far!
Posted: Jun 23, 2008 11:06 AM Go to message in response to: nmtgirl

You know, there are a lot of posts on here claiming nmtgirl is presumptuous in believing her FMIL poisoned her son.  Honestly, nmtgirl, you know the situation better than we do, and I'm inclined to believe you.  I am so sorry this happened.  I know my FH would eat old meat; turkey doesn't really smell bad when it gets old, so if my FH saw it in the fridge, he'd be, like, "Turkey.  Cool"... and eat it!!  Your FH probably got a lot sicker than a normal person would, and your FMIL didn't count on that. 

I would find a way for your FH to get out for the summer until school starts back up.  You two should never eat her cooking, never stay at her house, never let your children be alone with her.  She has proven that she cannot be trusted; leave her alone with her bitterness.

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ginmal Posts : 396 Registered: 1/11/08
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too far!
Posted: Jun 23, 2008 11:58 AM Go to message in response to: notjustaprettyf...

"turkey dosen't really smell bad when it gets old."

You apparentley have never smelled OLD turkey. Not only does it smell, but also gets slimy.

A grown man should KNOW when food is too bad for them to eat.

Sorry, but him eating some older than old turkey is NOT someone poising him. It was him making a CHOICE to eat it. Did FMIL hold a gun to his head and force feed him?? No. I didn't think so. And if there were no other food, is FH completley incapable of going and getting his OWN food???

POISIONING someone would be more along the lines of putting a drug or other substance into ones food WITHOUT their knowledge.

Sounds to me like your FH needs to grow a pair and get his own place and take his moms tata out of his mouth! And it sounds like you need to stop making excuses for his NOT being a man and standing up to his MOMMY. I mean come on, his mom wouldn't LET him come see you??? What is he 5?


**Formerly Gin & Gin13...forgot my password!! LOL**

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too far!
Posted: Jun 23, 2008 1:07 PM Go to message in response to: ginmal

You know, there are a lot of posts on here claiming nmtgirl is presumptuous in believing her FMIL poisoned her son. 

It's not a matter of poisoning. The OP's FH was stupid enough to eat old meat without thinking about it. And old turkey is SLIMY. Even if it doesn't smell bad, couldn't he have looked at it and thought to himself, 'Hmm, this doesn't look like any turkey I've ever eaten before. I wonder whether there's something wrong with it.' Furthermore, seeing as he lives with his mother, couldn't he have thought to himself, 'Leftover turkey...hmm, when was the last time we HAD turkey for dinner?' Now if they eat turkey for dinner every night, I could understand that he might think, 'This must be yesterday's leftovers. I'll eat them.' This whole thing is ridiculous because the FH can't seem to THINK for himself. A normal person - even one who never cooks - should be able to reason whether leftovers are old or not.

As far as I can see, the only reason the FMIL should be at fault is perhaps for not cleaning her refrigerator more often....but then again, since the FH lives with her, there's no reason he couldn't have cleaned it himself.


DaisypathWedding Ticker

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too far!
Posted: Jun 23, 2008 2:07 PM Go to message in response to: nmtgirl

NMT: This sounds like a far-fetched story but Im inclined to believe it only because I know what its like to deal with a MIL who is TRULY insane. Without going into too much detail; my Dhs mom is sick in the head. Manipulative, overbearing, and self-serving. She basically drove all three of her children out of her life years ago. Her two daugthers moved out when they were 18 because they couldnt take it anymore..and because DH was 18yrs younger than his oldest sister (he was an "oops" baby and the product of an affair); he grew up with this overbearing controlling mother who would do just about ANYTHING to keep her son with her. It only got worse with time. After taking her crap for decades and after meeting me, DH finally up and moved out of Florida and left the relationship with his mom behind. People that dont know her might think that cruel..but he honestly had no choice. It was either stay there and be consumed by her and let her control his life; or grow some balls and LEAVE. There is no middle ground with this woman. She is insane honestly. So Dh moved and came here to live with me. He has never looked back. I know it hurt him to do that; but she didnt give him a choice and now ALL of her children are out of her life. Shes that horrible.

Soooo... my point is, if all of this ridiculousness is true and he has a mother who is THAT SICK of a person to purposely try to make her own son sick etc... then there is only one way to handle it. LEAVE. Do not subject yourself to her behavior any longer. Its not an easy thing to do, but Fh needs to decide to make the choice to live for her..or live his own life. You cant reasonably deal with those who are not sane ... so you have to remove yourself from the situation. He shouldnt be staying with her, for whatever reason.. IF she is this twisted of a person. He is allowing her to treat him like a litlte boy. That will only stop when he doenst allow it to happen anymore.


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nmtgirl Posts : 142 Registered: 2/12/07
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too fa
Posted: Jun 23, 2008 3:50 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

:)

Message was edited by: nmtgirl

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too fa
Posted: Jun 23, 2008 4:39 PM Go to message in response to: nmtgirl

Well if you had the rest of that sentence about it being far-fetched; youd realize that what I SAID was that Even though it sounds far fetched, Im inclined to BELIEVE ITS TRUE because I have dealt with Dhs mom who sounds exactly like your FHs mom. I was sympathizing with you ,and telling you that the ONLY way to deal with someone who is clearly NOT SANE..is to leave the situation. Obviously that is your FHs decision but It sounds from your post as if he allows her to walk all over him and that will only change IF he stands up on his own two feet and expresses to her that he will NOT put up with this type of manipulation , no matter what. Then, if she continues the behavior, he can up and leave. He needs to demand respect and respect for his future wife from her ..and if he doesnt get it...then Goodbye.

"THE AISLE RUNNER" has officially launched - www.myaislerunner.com

 BL6. TEAM KELL-LIZA will CHACHACHA our way to the TOP $ PRIZE!

 

 

 

 

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sweetbride09 Posts : 23 Registered: 9/30/07
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too fa
Posted: Jun 23, 2008 4:52 PM Go to message in response to: nmtgirl

ok so I think alot of you are missing the point to this post.  She came on here to vent.  I know for a fact that my FMIL has done some pretty messed up things to us.  My FH told her that she had to accept the fact he was going to marry me and deal with it.  I know that I love my FH and just because his mother can be crazy at times doesn't mean I'm going to leave him.  He is different and why should one be judged because of another???  My family loves him and so do I.  Just like Nmtgirl we don't know what is going on in her relationship and its not for us to cast judgement and tell her what to do with her life.  I know for a fact I wouldn't want someone telling me what to do with my life.  As for her FH not being a man because he ate old meat.  Come on how many of us seriously accidently ate something old not meaning to?  Does that make us less of a person?  We are Human we are not perfect!  As for his mother.  I do feel sorry for her and my heart goes out to her(even if she is crazy) I know that some mothers have a hard time letting go of their little boys.  He's not a little boy anymore and he obviously found someone who makes him happy?  His mother had her chance at happiness and she still can have a chance at happiness again.  Why don't they deserve a chance at happiness?  Maybe she didn't poision him on purpose maybe she did thats not the point.  She doesn't need to be getting between this couple even if they are young. I think that is what is making nmtgirl want to vent.  Her FMIL getting in between the two of them.  Love has no age limit on it and I feel that eveyone deserves a chance at happiness!
susan

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MuffinB Posts : 778 Registered: 7/13/07
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too fa
Posted: Jun 23, 2008 5:28 PM Go to message in response to: sweetbride09

Question: So, if a post is meant for simply "venting", are we not supposed to reply to it?

Why? Why can't we read a "vent" and then still reply to it, letting the OP know what we think of the situation?

It seems like when the OP says "I was just venting" or when sweetbride09 says "a lot of you are missing the point, she came on here to vent" it means that we are all supposed to simply read the "vent" and then say something dumb like "Oh you poor thing, I sympathize, please vent everyday if you have to....."

IF ALL YOU WANT IS TO VENT AND GET NO REPLIES, PLEASE WRITE YOUR VENT OUT ON A PIECE OF PAPER! NOT A MESSAGE BOARD!!!

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sweetbride09 Posts : 23 Registered: 9/30/07
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too fa
Posted: Jun 23, 2008 5:37 PM Go to message in response to: MuffinB

There is a difference between giving an opinion and criticizing someone muffinb.  yes everyone is entitled to their own opinion but don't cast the first stone at someone and judge them and their FH because she is venting on here!  Would you rather her vent here or go and tell her crazy FMIL how she really feels who just recently lost her Husband??  I wasn't saying that everyones opinion was wrong on here but the ones who said she needs to run away from FH ya you are wrong.  No one has the right to tell someone to love and just because FMIL is crazy does not mean that FH is crazy.  If he was I'm sure she wouldn't be marrying him.  I think alot of you are being to hard on her and that is my opinion since we are allowed to do that on here.
susan

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MuffinB Posts : 778 Registered: 7/13/07
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too fa
Posted: Jun 23, 2008 5:46 PM Go to message in response to: sweetbride09

So what if they tell her to run away!! They feel she should! It's their opinion based on what she's written. Is she really going to leave her FH just because some random woman on a message board told her to? I doubt it.

Yes, I also think that eating old, slimy turkey is crazy. I can honestly say that I've never eaten something old that made me sick. If you have, please inspect your food more carefully next time and don't blame it on someone else.

If the OP's only two options are to vent here or tell her FMIL how crazy she thinks she is, then she's got issues. I don't mind venting but expect to get replies. All sorts of replies.

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nmtgirl Posts : 142 Registered: 2/12/07
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too fa
Posted: Jun 23, 2008 5:53 PM Go to message in response to: sweetbride09

:)

Message was edited by: nmtgirl

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CaribbeanBride08 Posts : 1,474 Registered: 6/13/07
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too fa
Posted: Jun 23, 2008 7:13 PM Go to message in response to: nmtgirl

mmmmm.....old turkey..... I'm hungry!!

 


 

Married 4/21/08 at Sandals Grande St. Lucian Spa & Beach Resort

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MuffinB Posts : 778 Registered: 7/13/07
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too fa
Posted: Jun 23, 2008 7:46 PM Go to message in response to: nmtgirl

Advice is welcome! But advice such as "You're too young" or "Just leave him, you don't know what you are getting into or what you are doing" is just plain ignorant and hurtful. That's not advice.

How do you know? How do you know that that isn't good advice? You really dont. I think it's excellent advice. You might find yourself 10 years from now, divorced but wiser wondering why you got married so young. You may also have a very happy, long marriage. So, you really don't know.

 

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nmtgirl Posts : 142 Registered: 2/12/07
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too fa
Posted: Jun 23, 2008 8:03 PM Go to message in response to: MuffinB

:)

Message was edited by: nmtgirl

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MuffinB Posts : 778 Registered: 7/13/07
Re: MIL POISONED FH so he couldn't come see me this weekend. This is too fa
Posted: Jun 23, 2008 8:22 PM Go to message in response to: nmtgirl

The advice given was based off what YOU wrote about your relationship, nothing else. We have nothing else to base it on. If you wanted to give the whole 7-year run down of your relationship that started when you were 13 (most of us were playing dress up at that age, not loving boys) then you should have. Maybe then, the advice would've been different. That's not the purpose of these threads, though (I don't think.)

We know only what you've written. Some of us gave you advice that you liked and others gave advice that you didn't like. It's ok. You can take it or leave but there's no reason to get defensive.

I think (in general) 20 year olds are too young to get married. That is based on my experience and overall knowledge of the subject. I cannot possibly include every single 20 year old in the world in the same category. You're right about that. But I can base my opinon on the 20 year olds I've met (myself included when I was 20.)

My screen name is MuffinB, not muffin-top and if that's you in your profile picture, I wouldn't be talking!!

Oh, and you're going to have 2.5 turkey-loving kids : )

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