NWR: THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG ONE - SOME VENTING SOME QUESTIONS -WHAT TO DO?

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Ashleyl525 Posts : 1,590 Registered: 12/27/06
NWR: THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG ONE - SOME VENTING SOME QUESTIONS -WHAT TO DO?
Posted: Jun 9, 2008 11:46 AM

So I will start from the beginning...

I got a new job about 2 months ago...things have been fine and then the owner spent 3 days in the office starting last monday and screwed things up stuck his nose in the middle of deals and arrangements and just managed to honestly screw everything that he touched up....

fast forward - he leaves town and finally we have 2 days of peace...well things are still screwed up so i spend 2 days fixing everything that needed fixed...

Now comes Friday. My supervisor said that I was going to get my hours cut back some and told me that the owner said "Well if she isnt here as much she cant f*ck things up as much"

This made me mad because all of my accounts and files were fine until he stuck his nose into them....but hey whatever....

So as if I thought my week couldnt get any worse I get a call from Dave's sister frantic Friday night saying that Dave's grandmother had a ruptured anurism sp and that she was in the ICU and that it wasnt looking good for her....

Now mind you she doesnt know anything else...no hospital name, no idea who found her, no clue when this happened....

So I call dave at work and tell him whats going on and he starts making calls about it...FINALLY we find out that she is in MORGANTOWN (ABOUT @ HOURS FROM US) AND THAT SHES BEEN THERE SINCE 11AM THAT DAY!!!

NOONE CALLED US AT ALL!!!

Now here's where it gets good....

The cleaning lady came in to her house friday and found her around 9am called 911 and then called her neighbor to get the phone numbers for all of the family. The neighbor didnt call anyone at all and then went to the hospital with grandma and told them that shes her next of kin and that SHE had medical power of attorney...

NOW finally we found all of this out and now theres a code word on his grandmother so that noone but the family can call in and get any information.

WELL thats not good enough because now the neighbor is calling every 5 minutes demanding information and the hospital is getting to the point where they are going to stop accepting phone calls from ANYONE in the family and they will just call us if something happens or changes...

SO MY QUESTION IS WHAT CAN WE DO ABOUT HER INCCESSANT PHONE CALLS? I mean its an ICU Unit for christ's sakes.

Also the attorney that drew up the power of attorney papers and grandma's will is no longer a lawyer...he was dis-barred for embezzelment so how do we get a copy of those papers seeing as the ones that grandma had seem to be missing...

I dont know what I am looking for with this thread but i think i just needed to vent and get all of that out....

thanks guys


Ashley

 
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jessd0320 Posts : 1,491 Registered: 7/4/06
Re: NWR: THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG ONE - SOME VENTING SOME QUESTIONS -WHAT TO DO?
Posted: Jun 9, 2008 12:36 PM Go to message in response to: Ashleyl525

Ummm, wow.

On this power of attorney thing... has this neighbor been poking around in other areas where she shouldn't be? I would check grandma's financial records and all that kind of stuff. This just screams possibility of fraud or elder abuse or whatever you want to call it. If shes going to claim at the hospital she has power of attorney, she may have claimed that at the bank and other places. I really hope this hasnt' happened, but someone needs to check on it. Especially since the papers seem to be missing.

I would guess the papers had to be filed somewhere... maybe try the local courthouse? There has to be a copy because thats a public record, if what I remember about public records is correct. Thats another thing you do need to try to locate ASAP. I'm sorry to keep saying this, and I'm sure you are having the same thoughts, but I would be VERY SUSPICIOUS of this neighbor. Have you met her before?

I don't know anything about how to make her stop calling. This is really creepy. Is is possible for someone to talk to her and find out what the heck her problem is? Could a restraining order make her stop calling? I dont know anything about that, but maybe a possibility? Is there someone at the hospital that will keep her from getting into grandma's room?

Sorry about what the company owner said. Does your supervisor think you screw things up? Can the supervisor talk to your boss? It sure seems like someone who actually works with you should be willing to defend your work instead of just passing along the word of cutting hours.

I hope you figure out what to do and find the info you need! Keep us posted.


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Del3 Posts : 113 Registered: 11/1/06
Re: NWR: THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG ONE - SOME VENTING SOME QUESTIONS -WHAT TO DO?
Posted: Jun 9, 2008 1:04 PM Go to message in response to: Ashleyl525

Unfortunately power of attorney is not public documents.  However, a hospital and definitely a bank or financial institution should ALWAYS refuse to accept such a claim without the document.  The document must be an ORIGINAL signed by the grandmother and usually either an attorney or a notary public with a seal.  But check the laws in your state.  The family may want to contact an attorney quickly b/c the pp is correct.  It sounds like there is the possibility of coercion or abuse in the situation.  Maybe not, maybe the neighbor is a really good friend--ppl often choose non-family members for power of medical attorney because they will be less stressed when the time comes to makes decisions.  Also as a note, there is a different between a medical power of attorney, a financial one and a legal one.  If a power of attorney document is presented by the neighbor be sure to read it carefully to see exactly what powers the woman was given.

One more legal note -- unfortunately simply b/c an attorney was disbarred does not mean that any work he did previously will be discredited.  But it is a huge flashing light (esp b/c he was disbarred for embezzlement) and the family probably wants to look into the grandmother's documents and make sure everthing seems the way it should.

As to the hospital not giving out information over the phone, that unfortunately, is incredibly common.  We just had a similar situation last weekend with my uncle and they didn't even want to tell my Dad the uncle was IN their hospital.

I am sorry it has been such a stressful few days.  I hope that your fiance's grandmother recovers.


Message was edited by: Del3

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MrsMcCain Posts : 580 Registered: 10/24/07
Re: NWR: THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG ONE - SOME VENTING SOME QUESTIONS -WHAT TO DO?
Posted: Jun 9, 2008 1:09 PM Go to message in response to: Ashleyl525

Whoever is designated to have POA should have a copy of the document, the hospital should have a copy (if it is the normal hospital that she goes to). Do you know the law firm that the lawyer worked at? If you do they should have a copy of it in her file, even though he was disbarred they would not throw away his previous clients files. Try to figure out who drew up the papers and contact the law firm... they will probably only give a copy to who is named on the POA though. Good luck and I hope she is going to be ok!!!

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Ashleyl525 Posts : 1,590 Registered: 12/27/06
Re: NWR: THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG ONE - SOME VENTING SOME QUESTIONS -WHAT TO DO?
Posted: Jun 9, 2008 1:30 PM Go to message in response to: MrsMcCain

Thank you all for all of the advice...

Unfortunately we are thinking there has been some abuse or coercion of some kind by the neighbor all of which is going ot be dealt with asap

as for the power of attorney docs. there were in fact 3 done (medical, financial, and legal) and noone seems to have a copy of it....not dave, not his uncle and now not his grandmother.

Now the only thing I am being told is that the hospital has to wait for her to become conscious and lucid and then they will do a medical one at that point in time....

As for the attorney apparently all of his files are strangely enough GONE as if they never existed....we are still working on that too but its just so frustrating...

does anyone know what we can do to make it so the neighbor cant call anymore....i dont know if we can get a restraining order on her just because she's harrassing the hospital staff and we dont have proof of any wrong doing on her part YET - key word YET because we know its somewhere we just dont know where....

thanks again guys


Ashley

 
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Sending Love to my Wormies!

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: NWR: THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG ONE - SOME VENTING SOME QUESTIONS -WHAT TO DO?
Posted: Jun 9, 2008 1:42 PM Go to message in response to: Ashleyl525

Hey Ashley hon. Havent replied yet because Im just not sure If Ill be of much help here. Dont know too much about lawyers and all that kind of stuff, but when DH gets home later I can ask him since hes in the medical profession and might know more. I would say though that if there is any way SOMEONE... a close relative to Grandma... can get to the hospital in person with I.D. and explain the situation to someone in charge there so that maybe they will stop taking this womans phonecalls at least? Or stop feeding her information? At least if they arent taking ANY calls, that means they arent taking hers either, right? So thats good.

As far as your job, does EVERYONE feel this way about the owner? That hes a useless tool who screws everything up? If so, there is power in numbers. Maybe you could all go to human resources together or someone whom you trust in authority there and discuss specifically what your issues are with this owner; and what you want done about it. Also; if theres a way to document your work before and after this owner got hold of it and "screwed it up"; do that so you can prove youre not the one making all the mistakes. Years ago, I had a GREAT job as a Tour guide at Radio City.. with ahorrible manager. A group of us spent months compiling evidence and examples of why we didnt like the way she treated us; we typed up a professional list of Issues we had with her and what we wanted to be done about it; and we held a meeting with HER boss. They promised us change..and then nothing happened. So, one by one, we all marched into her office and quit; leaving them with no staff during the height of Christmas season. It was fantastic!!! lol. So my point is.... if you can get others behind you, thats a big help.

 


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Ashleyl525 Posts : 1,590 Registered: 12/27/06
Re: NWR: THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG ONE - SOME VENTING SOME QUESTIONS -WHAT TO DO?
Posted: Jun 9, 2008 1:50 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

At this point in time they are taking phone calls from anyone that calls AS LONG AS they have the code word that we made up when we were there...All family members have this word and are able to call for updates. The nasty neighbor DOES NOT have this word and because of this she is unable to recieve any information. That's whats pissing her off...she can call all day long and they wont tell her a damn thing....so thats good its just that we dont want her calling at all....

as far as the work situation I am not having issues with my supervisor its the OWNER of the company. There is noone higher to go to. Yes everyone shares the opinion that he is an ass but aside from quitting when i really cant afford to theres nothing much more i can do about this situation....sucks huh...


Ashley

 
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Sending Love to my Wormies!

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Bride2008 Posts : 3,058 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: NWR: THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG ONE - SOME VENTING SOME QUESTIONS -WHAT TO DO?
Posted: Jun 9, 2008 2:22 PM Go to message in response to: Ashleyl525

Ash- I am so sorry. You don't need this stress. I would don't know if it can be done but I would try to see if you can get a restraining order against crazy neighbor lady. This way if she calls or tries to make trouble by showing up, she can be arrested. It's extreme, but it might be the only thing that works.

As far as your job, do you want me to bust this guys knee caps? LoL. Just kidding. I would file a complaint with the HR department. Saying what they did to you was not only inaccurate, I think it's completely inappropriate.


 

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RDWM Posts : 1,354 Registered: 9/27/06
Re: NWR: THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG ONE - SOME VENTING SOME QUESTIONS -WHAT TO
Posted: Jun 9, 2008 2:44 PM Go to message in response to: Ashleyl525

Sorry about the job woes Ashley. I hope you get it straightened out soon.

Maybe the neighbor is just concerned. How long have they been neighbors?  I don't think getting a restraining order is a good idea until someone from the family talks to the woman. Perhaps she really cares and would be grateful for updates from anyone. She sounds really worried to me. Personally I feel bad for her. Certainly the family needs to protect Grandma and all of her assets but remember that this neighbor could be honestly trying to do the right thing, and actually cares. 


Danille

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Ashleyl525 Posts : 1,590 Registered: 12/27/06
Re: NWR: THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG ONE - SOME VENTING SOME QUESTIONS -WHAT TO
Posted: Jun 9, 2008 3:39 PM Go to message in response to: RDWM

unfortunately there is no HR department...so i cant discuss that...i can just start looking elsewhere or see if i can't handle this ass myself...

as for the neighbor...I have called her 3 times now telling her that if she wants any information that we (the family) would be happy to inform her and I even gave her our phone numbers only to be cursed at and told to go to hell.

She's not concerned shes nibby....its just unfortunate...


Ashley

 
Linny-Swanna will chop up the competition.
Sending Love to my Wormies!

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DEDudley709 Posts : 49 Registered: 5/13/08
Re: NWR: THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG ONE - SOME VENTING SOME QUESTIONS -WHAT TO
Posted: Jun 9, 2008 4:49 PM Go to message in response to: Ashleyl525

"as for the neighbor...I have called her 3 times now telling her that if she wants any information that we (the family) would be happy to inform her and I even gave her our phone numbers only to be cursed at and told to go to hell. "

That right there tells me that something might have been going on that the family didn't know about. I'd continue to try and find out the POA stuff and get that taken care of. As for nosy neighbor, you have spoken to her 3 times. More than you should have. If she continues to call the hospital I'd consider notifying the authorities, be it to file a report or get a restraining order. She shouldn't be harrassing the hospital staff like that which in turn stresses you and other family members out.

After things get better with Grandma, if it turns out that there was some kind of abuse going on or she was taking advantage of Grandma, I'd go after her for it.

I'm sorry that this all happened at once. I'll be sure to keep your family in my prayers. I hope Grandma pulls through ok. Smile


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LochNessie Posts : 1,631 Registered: 4/2/07
Re: NWR: THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG ONE - SOME VENTING SOME QUESTIONS -WHAT TO
Posted: Jun 10, 2008 10:06 PM Go to message in response to: DEDudley709

Ash,

I'm so sorry you're dealing with all this.  That really sucks.  And I agree the neighbour seems a little shiesty.

You and your's will be in my thoughts!

-Ness


 

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coastiebride Posts : 1,365 Registered: 3/26/07
Re: NWR: THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG ONE - SOME VENTING SOME QUESTIONS -WHAT TO
Posted: Jun 10, 2008 10:24 PM Go to message in response to: LochNessie

AShley im really sorry that you are going threw this. If i were you i would be going threw all of my grandmothers finances and see if there is any money missing, if there are odd checks that were written, and anything of value that is missing, especialy jewlery or any type of expensive statue. This woman is NOT right not at all. I would also reconcider when his grandmother gets out and there is truth to this is move her to another location.

As for the work sittuation i wish i could be more helpful, but its the owner, you really can not go any higher. I would think that those POA papers had to of been filed with someone?

i wish i could be more helpful. Im sorry this all happened at once. When it rains it seems like it pours eveytime


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mrslilysolovely Posts : 2,130 Registered: 7/24/06
Re: NWR: THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG ONE - SOME VENTING SOME QUESTIONS -WHAT TO
Posted: Jun 10, 2008 11:36 PM Go to message in response to: Ashleyl525

Oh Ashley, I am so sorry about grandma, I know what you are going through with that worry, been there.

As for the POA, did the neighbor produce the document for the hospital?? Or did they just make the announcement and the hospital took her at her word? There should be some actual documentation provided, and if she can't then I believe, it's the next of kin who has the say in what goes on.

since she can't produce anything stating that she is even kin at all, much less next of kin, well this proves that she has lied to the hospital and although I don't see how you can stop her from calling, it does prevent her from being able to lie to them again, and have them believe her.

the boss thing, man , that sucks, and I have the smae opinion as a few others here, can your supervisor stick up for your organizational skills?? Would she? Or is she too afraid to tell the boss he doesn't know what he is talking about, essentially. Not in those words, but stilll, ya know what I mean.

I will pray for gramdma and the family, I hope she is better soon.

I'd talk to the cleaning lady and ask if she has ever come across those papers, or if she has seen the neighbor do anything untoward in reference to grandma's property or person. Perhaps checking with other neighbors about the bad neighbor will help clear up the picture.

I'd check with her pastor, if she attends church, sometimes they know more than we think they do, and maybe she told him where the papers are...sometimes people do that to keep the info as safe as possible.

Also there may be a safe deposit box with those papers in it, so you never can tell..older people sometimes are not as trusting of 'new-fangled' things (and rightly so, I might add).

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time of it right now, I know you sure don't need it. I hope I helped some.


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mrslilysolovely Posts : 2,130 Registered: 7/24/06
Re: NWR: THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG ONE - SOME VENTING SOME QUESTIONS -WHAT TO
Posted: Jun 10, 2008 11:36 PM Go to message in response to: Ashleyl525

Oh Ashley, I am so sorry about grandma, I know what you are going through with that worry, been there.

As for the POA, did the neighbor produce the document for the hospital?? Or did they just make the announcement and the hospital took her at her word? There should be some actual documentation provided, and if she can't then I believe, it's the next of kin who has the say in what goes on.

since she can't produce anything stating that she is even kin at all, much less next of kin, well this proves that she has lied to the hospital and although I don't see how you can stop her from calling, it does prevent her from being able to lie to them again, and have them believe her.

the boss thing, man , that sucks, and I have the smae opinion as a few others here, can your supervisor stick up for your organizational skills?? Would she? Or is she too afraid to tell the boss he doesn't know what he is talking about, essentially. Not in those words, but stilll, ya know what I mean.

I will pray for gramdma and the family, I hope she is better soon.

I'd talk to the cleaning lady and ask if she has ever come across those papers, or if she has seen the neighbor do anything untoward in reference to grandma's property or person. Perhaps checking with other neighbors about the bad neighbor will help clear up the picture.

I'd check with her pastor, if she attends church, sometimes they know more than we think they do, and maybe she told him where the papers are...sometimes people do that to keep the info as safe as possible.

Also there may be a safe deposit box with those papers in it, so you never can tell..older people sometimes are not as trusting of 'new-fangled' things (and rightly so, I might add).

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time of it right now, I know you sure don't need it. I hope I helped some.


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