Is this bad?

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soontobewed7222... Posts : 88 Registered: 12/22/07
Is this bad?
Posted: Jun 9, 2008 6:12 AM

This is a long whiney vent.  

 

Me and my fh had to change our wedding plans to we're getting married in july insted of sept, and having 3 guest and a intercom 'my family on speakerphone as they can't come' insted of 120 guest now. The thing is my bridal shower is really a big party my mom's throwing for the whole family and my fh's family and all our friends as they mostly can't come to the wedding 'it's in vegas' I love this idea it hurts me that i won't have anyone at my wedding ' the three guest will be fh's dad stepmom and sister i haven't met any of them before' The thing is I feel bad that i won't get any kind of focus on me type of thing at all. I must sound so greed, it's just i have never gotten much attenchen my b-day is two days from chrismas and i come from a poor family so every year i open a chrismas gift early and maybe get a homemade cake and a happybirthday 'there have been some years where both my folks had to work all day so i didn't even get to see them til the day after my birthday and then since my fh and i started living together it's the samething cuz at chrismas who isn't broke? I was home school so no proms or even grad, i'm sorry for b*tching here it's just i go out of my way to make every person i care about feel speical because for most of my life i haven't and i thought maybe this could be that for me my last chance at it sort of thing. 

My fh loves me my family too it's just  i feel kind of left out of a lot of normal stuff and i thought this would be a little different. I really am happy i'll get to do something for everyone we wanted to share our day with before everything. is it bad of me to feel so disapointed?


Trekky in love

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Belle1154 Posts : 235 Registered: 11/2/06
Re: Is this bad?
Posted: Jun 9, 2008 7:49 AM Go to message in response to: soontobewed7222...

May I just ask, if you want your big day so bad (which I completely understand) why did you change it? 


 

"I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine..."

I marry my prince on April 19, 2008

 http://weddings.partyspace.com/dianaallen

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: Is this bad?
Posted: Jun 9, 2008 9:08 AM Go to message in response to: soontobewed7222...

Im confused here.

Using more punctuation instead of one long run-on sentence would help. Not trying to be rude; its just really difficult to make out what you are trying to say here.

Why did you change the original wedding date?

Im confused about where your disappointment lies. Are you sad that you cant have the big wedding you want? Or are you sad about the Shower? To me, it sounds like your mom is throwing you a GREAT big Shower; so wouldnt that be the time where you get the focus on you, as you said?

As far as your wedding day, if having your family there is very important to you, could you have the wedding closer to where they live so they can all attend? Im assuming travel is the reason why so many people cannot make it.

In the end, you can only do what you can afford. Its not all about money. Your wedding will be what you make it. Its about creating memories and sharing the love between you and your fiance with those that love you. Any kind of celebration will be memorable and wonderful as long as that love is real and something you cherish. I know its hard when you dont have money... believe me. But in this case, its not about money. You can have a gorgeous wedding for very little money. Just decide whats important.


"THE AISLE RUNNER" has officially launched ... www.myaislerunner.com

Time for Biggest Loser 6. TEAM KELL-LIZA will Cha-cha-cha our way to the TOP PRIZE!

 

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Bridezilla205 Posts : 88 Registered: 6/6/06
Re: Is this bad?
Posted: Jun 9, 2008 9:08 AM Go to message in response to: soontobewed7222...

I agree with the last reply, I would like to know why u changed the date and also have you all thought about moving the wedding to another location? Maybe closer to your family if distance is an issue. This is ur day and you always want to be the focus of attention. I guess the thing to think about is is it more important to have the wedding at the location it is at now or to have ur support system there for your big day?

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soontobewed7222... Posts : 88 Registered: 12/22/07
Re: Is this bad?
Posted: Jun 9, 2008 2:11 PM Go to message in response to: Bridezilla205

to answer one reply I'm sad about the shower because i know having my fh there he will get all the attention it's just how it always works he was made for the spot light i was hoping for a shower with maybe my one friend and some girls from mine and his family then i could get the spot light for an hour, that's all really. and as for why are plans changed it's the location, i've dreamed of going to S.T E. since i was a little girl and my fh promised me dozens of time to take me there one day and do a vow renewal. well i hear this past week there closing there doors forever august of this year so it became a now or never thing it was just too short anotice for most of the family . I understand this and am planning a big wedding vowrenewal in a year or two for my guy and family as none of them are as into trek as i am. My fh refouses not to do this as it's one of the only things i've ever asked for and he promised.'his words :D' See I know i'm being selfish i just needed to rant thank you for your replys
Trekky in love

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: Is this bad?
Posted: Jun 9, 2008 2:21 PM Go to message in response to: soontobewed7222...

Sorry. Im STILL a little confused. Its really hard rading an entire thread with no paragraph seperations or sentences.

From what I can understand, youre sad because the Shower will be more of a family party since a lot of family cant attend the wedding? Is that it? And youre afraid your FIANCE is going to take away your spotlight? I just dont really get this line of thinking. Im trying to have sympathy here, but again; it sounds as if your family is throwing you a huge Shower. Be grateful, have fun, and trust me; you WILL be the focus of the afternoon. Its your Shower after all. I dont see any reason to make it a competition with your FH though in who gets more attention. Just have a good time with people who love you both.


"THE AISLE RUNNER" has officially launched ... www.myaislerunner.com

Time for Biggest Loser 6. TEAM KELL-LIZA will Cha-cha-cha our way to the TOP PRIZE!

 

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Knoxvegas Posts : 951 Registered: 9/12/07
Re: Is this bad?
Posted: Jun 16, 2008 3:41 PM Go to message in response to: soontobewed7222...

Honestly, the bride is the center of attention at these types of functions, no matter who else is there. My aunt's BM was literally a beauty queen and my aunt was still number one. 

My question: did you feel the same way about your FH getting all the attention at the big wedding as well? 


"Love is not a matter of counting the years -- it's making the years count."

-Wolfman Jack Smith

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Is this bad?
Posted: Jun 19, 2008 4:14 PM Go to message in response to: Knoxvegas

I'm with Kelley - try as I might to understand, this post just makes no sense. Even after the clarification, I still have no idea why the wedding date was changed. Because you wanted to get married in a certain place and it's going to close soon? So why didn't you originally plan to have the wedding there, if it was so important?

I also don't get the 'FH will get all the attention' thing. If you're so OVERSHADOWED by him, perhaps he's not the best person for you to marry...a couple should compliment one another and SHARE the limelight at events that honor them BOTH. Are you sure you're not overdramatizing this?


DaisypathWedding Ticker

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soontobewed7222... Posts : 88 Registered: 12/22/07
Re: Is this bad?
Posted: Jun 20, 2008 2:17 AM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

i'm just whining, my guys a showman and i'm very shy. I liked  the idea of a few close woman for a show because i'd feel comfortable. I love my guy and i center him and he takes care of me with my phobias and medical problems with out babying me to we fit prefectly together and we love each other a lot. The reason our plans changed to this place before it closed was because my guy wanted a big wedding and that couldn't happen with where i wanted to get married 'and it's geeky to him' so he promised we'd have my dream wedding as a vowrenewal next year well as it's close in the next three months that wasn't going to happen so my guy dropped the whole wedding we'd been planned and booked us a wedding at my dream place in july. Always my shining knight Laughing the this is I love my family and normaly i'm okay at family get togethers but this will be his family, my family and his friends so it's very big crowd and i just don't do well ith crowds. I hope this clears it up alittle.

 

thank you for replying.  


Trekky in love

Message was edited by: soontobewed7222008

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: Is this bad?
Posted: Jun 20, 2008 12:42 PM Go to message in response to: soontobewed7222...

Still confused. Are you "really shy" and dont like to be around big crowds? Or are you someone who wants to be the "center of attention" at her Shower and is afraid her fiance will steal the spotlight? It cant be both. They completely contradict each other.

If you are the shy type, then your fiance's outgoing personality should make you feel BETTER if anything.

And if you want the attention, dont worry about that. Its your Bridal Shower. You will get plenty of attention.

Just have fun and be happy that ALL THESE PEOPLE want to help you celebrate. Its a good thing.


"THE AISLE RUNNER" has officially launched - www.myaislerunner.com

 BL6. TEAM KELL-LIZA will CHACHACHA our way to the TOP $ PRIZE!

 

 

 

 

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Is this bad?
Posted: Jun 20, 2008 1:54 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

So you're upset because your shower is a big coed event for both of you rather than a small, all-female event with a focus on YOU in particular? I guess I get that. Sounds like you need to talk to your family and friends about what YOU want, seeing as you're the one they're throwing the party for.

DaisypathWedding Ticker

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MissMac Posts : 142 Registered: 5/13/08
Re: Is this bad?
Posted: Jun 20, 2008 2:39 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

my bday is also 12/23 so i really understand the need for attn.

so if you want an event that can be all about you why don't you let your mother plan the bridal shower as she has already began to do and you can have a bachelorette  party with the girls only list that you came up with.

ok so back to the totally non-wedding related fact that we have the same bday...i had kinda the same situation as you where i could open one of my Christmas presents early in place of a real bday present..except i didn't have a home made cake..i would get the "oh we will get you a cake next month" deal...which sucked.  But whats weird is that i did have a complex that the whole day had to be about me and it did trranslate to other occasions such as my grad etc.  but after i turned 21 and had realized that i had not had a good bday since 3rd grade i realized that i was spending too much time and energy expecting so much from everyone and not getting it which would inturn make me soo upset.  so i stopped caring or expecting any thing from anyone for my bdays and now i just go outta town for the weekend and come back on Christmas day...which is usually when everyone remembers my bday was 2 days ago anyway!

sorry to the other brides for my own venting....but clearly if you are still reading this thread u have some extra time on your hands. 

I hope you get to feel special at some point in this experience soontobewed...

o and by the way please remember that although the wedding is to symbolize the love between you and your FH and to celebrate the joining of your families etc please dont forget that it is your special day..even though you absolutly love this place that you have choose that no one in your family can make it to is that more important to you then to have your family and friends there?

btw can you extend the abbreviation or give us more info on this place because i am dying to know whats so fabulous about it?  thanks


True Love is gift from God

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soontobewed7222... Posts : 88 Registered: 12/22/07
Re: Is this bad?
Posted: Jun 21, 2008 1:18 AM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

it is both. i'm shy i wanted the attention but of my friends and family not abunch of people i don't even really know and i do like his spotlight stealingmost of the time... I'll stop i'm just making your head hurt i'm sure.

Trekky in love

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soontobewed7222... Posts : 88 Registered: 12/22/07
Re: Is this bad?
Posted: Jun 21, 2008 1:28 AM Go to message in response to: MissMac

lol mismac normally i don't care i just put focuse on those around me thats why my best friends and my fh are all attention hogs and it's just hard not to want to feel speical about your wedding.

 

and the place I'm getting married is a geek trap STAR TREK: The Experience it's closing in august and i've been dreaming of going there since it opened but i never have time off and money at the same time to go. and since i heard they do weddings on the bridge of the TNG bridge i've been dreaming of it:D yes i am a huge geek.


Trekky in love

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