Can't make EVERYONE happy.....

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Destiny123 Posts : 519 Registered: 5/5/08
Can't make EVERYONE happy.....
Posted: Jun 6, 2008 1:09 PM

Please help!!!! I have found THE DRESS.... But I have a huge problem. My mom is just "whatever" about it. She thinks she should cry when I walk out in The Dress. But we like 2 COMPLETELY different styles! So I don't see that happening. Then there is her best friend, who is like a 2nd mother to me, who thinks the style of dress is hideous. And keeps trying to talk me out of it. Referring to "Glamour Magazines Do's and Don'ts of Weddings," where they said not to get a dress that's "in," because we'll regret it in 30 years....She's also telling me I'm not supposed to wear a tiara either. But I already bought that! i LOVE the dress I found. I know it's the one. But it's SO HARD to love something so much when your mother(s) doesn't. My mom said I can get it, she wants me to be happy. But I know she doesn't like it. What do I do?!?!?!?!


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MrsMcCain Posts : 580 Registered: 10/24/07
Re: Can't make EVERYONE happy.....
Posted: Jun 6, 2008 1:18 PM Go to message in response to: Destiny123

It is your wedding day and you should be happy with how you look. Explain to them that this is the dress you like and that it makes you happy. They should understand that this is your special day and not theirs. People have all sorts of different opinions on styles. My mom was kind of the same way, she is a tomboy and I am the city girl, so we have completely different tastes! That is ok, but don't buy a dress that they like, and that you don't get that feeling for, just because they think it is best for you.

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Charlotte09 Posts : 1,021 Registered: 2/22/08
Re: Can't make EVERYONE happy.....
Posted: Jun 6, 2008 1:21 PM Go to message in response to: Destiny123

How much shopping time do you have left? If you still have a while I would suggest to keep looking around just a bit more just in case. But of corse check on the availability of the gown you like right now so you would not miss out on ordering it or anything. I would also suggest showing your FH a picture of the dress and seeing what he thinks. If you can post a picture maybe all of us on here will like it and it is just a generation difference. But what does matter is that you love it and that you are still loving it despite the fact that your mom(s) are not fans of it at all.

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Destiny123 Posts : 519 Registered: 5/5/08
Re: Can't make EVERYONE happy.....
Posted: Jun 6, 2008 1:21 PM Go to message in response to: Destiny123

It is also being implied that since I'm so short (5'1") that I shouldn't get a full skirt. I should go for the slim style dresses. I don't like those. I've tried them on. I think they make me look shorter. And I always wanted a princess dress!!
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Montereybride08 Posts : 494 Registered: 1/25/08
Re: Can't make EVERYONE happy.....
Posted: Jun 6, 2008 1:24 PM Go to message in response to: Destiny123

Hi Destiny!

I  completely understand- my mom and I have very different tastes too. To appease her, I tried on a dress she liked, and I felt like I should have been getting married in 1508 in a spanish cathedral during mass!! It was a beautiful silk dress, but NOT my syle. I ended up buying a dress that I LOVE, and I actually bought it beofre I got other opinions. After I sent pictures, I had a few people say that it was not their favorite. That is really hard to hear! It has made me question my choice, but I also bought my dress spur of the moment.

It sounds like you have tried it on, and had time to think about it. If you really love it, and it makes you happy, then you should get it. It sounds like your mom is being supportive, even if it is not her first choice. It really comes down to how YOU feel in the dress. Is it going to be hard to feel good in it, knowing that your mom doesn't like it? That would be my only concern, if her opinion will influence how you feel. If it will, keep searching. There are tons of beautiful dresses out there. If you can't think of anything but that dress, day and night, then get it. Your mom(s) will still love you, and will still cry at the wedding, and your FH will still think you are beautiful...

It all comes down to how YOU feel. Remember that, and good luck! : )


October 18th, here we come!

 

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BreAnn Posts : 600 Registered: 11/28/07
Re: Can't make EVERYONE happy.....
Posted: Jun 6, 2008 1:24 PM Go to message in response to: Destiny123

It is your wedding day. The only person who truly needs to be comfortable with the dress is YOU. As for the whole "Don't buy what's in" crap, its just that; crap! Why would you buy an out of style dress?? That's like wearing out of style clothes so that when you look back on your HS Yearbook you don't look like a dork. Makes no sense. Finally, where the hell does she get off saying you aren't "supposed to wear a tiara"?!?! That is also your opinion, and your decision.

New one: Why wouldn't you wear a full or A-line dress?? Mine was and I am only 5'2.



Message was edited by: BreAnn

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Destiny123 Posts : 519 Registered: 5/5/08
Re: Can't make EVERYONE happy.....
Posted: Jun 6, 2008 1:25 PM Go to message in response to: Charlotte09

I still have LOTS of time! We've been engaged since February and we just started dress shopping last month. And our date is June 13, 2009. But I want to have it paid off well in advance and such. I'll add the pics to my album later today, or you can look at the dress at http://www.alfredangelo.com/Collections/ProductDisplay.aspx?productID=fccd3375-e9eb-485a-9e6d-d1a624f4008c&categoryID=1af402e9-205f-4b7b-9d22-6fec77b3d187&pg=4

Of course if I post the pics of me in the dress to my album later you'll get to see how huge the dress was on me in the store haha I think that's another reason my mom(s) didn't like it. If it's not my size its not going to fit right in all the areas!!! Sooo frustrating...


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Destiny123 Posts : 519 Registered: 5/5/08
Re: Can't make EVERYONE happy.....
Posted: Jun 6, 2008 1:29 PM Go to message in response to: BreAnn

I agree with you, it's all CRAP! haha Who the HELL at Glamour Magazine thought they could crush so many bride-to-bes?! Thats my question. And in response to the other posts, thanks ladies! you're all great!!! I have showed the picture of the dress to my fh (the pic that was in alfred angelos catalog), and he said I'll look beautiful in anything, and that I should tell everyone to can it, and get what I want :) I LOVE HIM!
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m2810 Posts : 45 Registered: 11/17/07
Re: Can't make EVERYONE happy.....
Posted: Jun 6, 2008 1:29 PM Go to message in response to: MrsMcCain

Please DO NOT!!! DO NOT!DO NOT!!! MAKE the Same mistake i did!! I got marrid 5 months ago...and to this day ..not one day goes by that i DONT think about the mistake i made!!! I fell completely in love with a beautiful mermaid style dress...it was absolutely goregeous and im a size 4 and it looke perfect on me!! I ahd the prefect body to pull that dress off.....i took my mom and mother in law w/me and guess what??? I gave in to the dress THEYYYY wanted...It was a lace ball gown....DEFFINATELY not my style...they are very old fashioned and modern and said "oh you can wear a dress like that in any other occasion ,this is once in ur life that you can dress like a princess, your dad is guna think the other 1 is innapropirate..and ect...ect....

so i told them that i chose the mermaid style dress and we were goin to pay for it when i asked so ehat do u think and they both say it was your choice and im like WTF??? So to please them i said ok ill get the other dress. Dont get me wrong it was a beautiful dress and had more detail but it WASNT ME!!! As soon as i got home my sister wanted to see it and the first thing she said was i dont get it, that doesnt look like something you'd pick...and it wasnt!!

ive cried and cried so manyyy times!! I REGRET IT!! SOOOO BAD!!! THIS WAS MYYYYY DAY!!!! MINE!!!Evereyone else loved the dress and i got compliments all night...but who the FU#K CARES!!! I WASNT IN LOVE WIHT IT!! I might be getting a little over dramatic but seriuosly every day i look at the dress i fell in love wiht and NEVER will be able to walk down the aisle in it. My sister in law made a very good poin to me yday. She said "look at you yourstressing about YOUR dress becuase you let some one ELSE choose it!! if you would chose yours everyone wouldve been over it by now that u didnt get the dress THEYYY wanted, but YOU still wouldve been happy! i cant stress this enough! please!! please!! donTT!! Its only ONE day...and its YOUR day.....

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BreAnn Posts : 600 Registered: 11/28/07
Re: Can't make EVERYONE happy.....
Posted: Jun 6, 2008 1:31 PM Go to message in response to: Destiny123

I'll tell you what the Pastor who did our ceremony told me. When everyone around starts saying you should have done this or you should have done that, just tell them, "This is my wedding. My decision. You have had your chance, or you will get your chance. But this is mine and I'm not sacrificing my dreams for your wants."

And your FH is right. Tell everyone else to can it!


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mrsJLA Posts : 445 Registered: 5/25/08
Re: Can't make EVERYONE happy.....
Posted: Jun 6, 2008 1:38 PM Go to message in response to: Destiny123

"Glamour Magazines Do's and Don'ts of Weddings" was just on the style network the other night and there was a girl there who was petite and who they told not to get a poofy princess dress. That might be where your mom and mom's friend are getting those ideas from.

But I say screw it - get the dress that YOU want. If it makes you feel like a princess, well then too bad.

This is exactly the reason why I took my sorority little/BM with me and NOT my mom.....she was a little upset at first but she got over it. Let you mom have input on something else - like the veil maybe....Doesn't she need to get a MOtB dress? Let her express her style with that.


JLS & MEA Cool 10/18/2008

 

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LovePark Posts : 241 Registered: 2/27/08
Re: Can't make EVERYONE happy.....
Posted: Jun 6, 2008 2:38 PM Go to message in response to: BreAnn

Okay, I totally agree with everyone telling you to do what YOU think is right. It's you're wedding, but still it's hard when your mom doesn't LOVE your dress. 

Personally, I don't LOVE that dress. Here's why. Since you are so small, it is going to swallow you. I saw a tiny girl get married and dress very similar, and it just didn't do her justice, she's so petite and cute and it just didn't look the best on her.

I think you should file that one in the "possibly" folder, and keep looking. If you don't find anything else, it will be there, and if you do, you'll be happy knowing that everyone is peaceful.

I hate thinking I let someone down, so I know exactly how you feel.

We were lucky, usually my mom and I have totally different tastes, but when we went shopping, we both loved the exact same dress.

And remember, it's not about the dress, or the colors or the centerpieces, it's about YOU and HIM! and it sounds like you are totally in love, that's great!

 


Daisypath Wedding Ticker

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MrsWilliams2008 Posts : 1,431 Registered: 7/19/07
Re: Can't make EVERYONE happy.....
Posted: Jun 6, 2008 3:36 PM Go to message in response to: Destiny123

I'd just like to say, I hardly believe ANY dress we wear today will be in style 30 years from now. I'm sure there are some that think my pick-up style dress is too damn big and poofy but I don't care, I LOVE it and I'm wearing it.

Honey it's your day and even if you wanna wear a white fur bikini then go for it and tell everybody "end of story".


 http://www.theknot.com/ourwedding/RyAnne Stafford&RobertWilliams, Jr

                                 R&R: June 21, 2008

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Destiny123 Posts : 519 Registered: 5/5/08
Re: Can't make EVERYONE happy.....
Posted: Jun 6, 2008 5:29 PM Go to message in response to: m2810

You ladies really are making me feel better about the whole situation. I think i'm going to make appointments at every bridal boutique in town, try on every style of dress that catches my eye, pleasing everyone during the whole deal by "giving another style a chance," and when I eventually go back to the original store, and get The Dress I already fell in love with, at least I can say I TRIED to look at everything else, right? I had a dream a couple nights ago that I wore that dress and that I was so fed up with wedding planning and pleasing everyone that my fh and I eloped!!! hahahaha
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darkchild24 Posts : 196 Registered: 9/1/06
Re: Can't make EVERYONE happy.....
Posted: Jun 6, 2008 7:05 PM Go to message in response to: Destiny123

psh...what do they know? i wore a dress similar to the one you tried on to my junior prom. it was black, bodice was royal blue along with a band around the stomach, and had little "flowers" in black sequins, WITH a train! :D i'm also 5' 2.5" to boot!
maybe part of the reason why they were indifferent to the dress was because of what you mentioned of it not being the right size. i tried that prom dress on in the store, and it looked really awkward on me cause it was so big. but once it came in to the store in my size, it was beautiful!

so, go with what YOUR heart says. you'll knock 'em dead in almost under a year! (if not, i'll help lol, jk)


 

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