what to do?

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stfballplayer7 Posts : 271 Registered: 3/17/08
what to do?
Posted: Jun 5, 2008 1:59 PM

Okay, FH and i don't really want to register. we went to a few places and didn't really see what we wanted... so i think that we came to a mutual agreement that we weren't going to register... but what do we tell everybody when they ask about it? we want them to buby us things if they want but hopefully they give us a gift reciept along with it in case we already have it or got doubles... or don't even want it... but i don't know how to tell them that. any sugestions?


         

                                  THE FUTURE MRS. B.R. HERB  4/13/09

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10042008Bride Posts : 82 Registered: 9/11/07
Re: what to do?
Posted: Jun 5, 2008 2:22 PM Go to message in response to: stfballplayer7

Well, I don't think there's any way of saying that tactfully.   I think you need to register somewhere for something to at least  give people an idea of your tastes.   What about towels and washclothes or sheets?  You can never have too many of those.

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CaribbeanBride08 Posts : 1,474 Registered: 6/13/07
Re: what to do?
Posted: Jun 5, 2008 2:22 PM Go to message in response to: stfballplayer7

Sounds to me you didn't put a lot of effort into it.  You really should register.  It's the smartest thing to do.  You can't rely on people to include a gift receipt and it's just silly to not register and end up getting 5 coffee makers or something like that.  Or what if they buy you towels and you hate the color yet don't know where they purchased them.  To me, you're allowing your friends and relatives to just throw away money when you don't register.  Surely there's a few stores in your area where you guys can find some things you're going to need for your new home. 
Daisypath Anniversary Years Ticker

Married 4/21/08 at Sandals Grande St. Lucian Spa & Beach Resort

Slideshow of our wedding photos: 

http://s199.photobucket.com/albums/aa135/tobiandbrian/Wedding%20Photos/?action=view¤t=cb216606.pbr

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uno Posts : 619 Registered: 1/4/08
Re: what to do?
Posted: Jun 5, 2008 2:37 PM Go to message in response to: CaribbeanBride08

I would register in at least 1 store.  I mean, do you need new (matching) dishes, silverwear, pots & pans, sheets, towels, paintings, kitchen accessories - spatulas, measuring cups, casserole dish?  We combined 2 households and still registered for a lot.  Everything we had was the cheapest stuff we could find when we were in college so now we actually have a whole set of dishes, new towels and stainless steel pots & pans.   We found dishes at BBB that are purchased separately so that more than 1 present would consist of the dishes.  We figured more people would spend $30 (or whatever) on dishes rather than having a $200 set of dishes not purchased at the end of the wedding.  We also registered for a set of pots & pans but also for the additional matching ones so that people could buy us one pan at a time and maybe a group of people would go in on the larger item (which they did). 

You really will end up with a ton of stuff that you can't take back if you don't register and it'll be an added stress for your guests.  We ended up getting a set of red towels from MIL's friend that we didn't register for.  The two sets of towels we wanted (and got) were pale green and brown.  The red set came with NO gift receipt and we have no idea where it came from, hence - hard to take it back.  And now we're stuck with red towels that don't match any of our bathrooms.  (MIL said the friend remembered seeing red something on our registry -- kitchen dishes-- and apparently thought we wanted red bath towels). A lot of people don't put gift receipts in with their gifts.  And if you get things from Target w/ no gift receipt, you can only have 2 returns per year less than $20.  From what I understand, they will not take back, give you store credit for, or trade anything more than $20. 


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stfballplayer7 Posts : 271 Registered: 3/17/08
Re: what to do?
Posted: Jun 5, 2008 2:58 PM Go to message in response to: CaribbeanBride08

caribbean,

we did put effort into it, it is just that we moved in together this past Feburary. Everything we have match and they are not the cheap kind of things. Our bath closet is clear full of towels and wwash cloths. way more than we need. As soon as we moved in together both of our families bought us anything and everything that we needed or will need in the future. we have so much that we can't even fit it in our cupboard... we need to put some in storage. we have multiple sets of matching dishes, sheets, blankets. we are very well off with our furnishing and the whole kitchen is stocked full. so, really we don't need anything. we have a nice set of crystal and china... what else would you suggest we register for? another storage unit?


         

                                  THE FUTURE MRS. B.R. HERB  4/13/09

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FinallyMrsF Posts : 285 Registered: 10/24/07
Re: what to do?
Posted: Jun 5, 2008 3:10 PM Go to message in response to: stfballplayer7

If you really don't need or want anything what about registering with a charity? That way people could donate in your honor. Or my cousin did a small registry and her MOH put on the shower invites that they also love to shop at home goods and home depot.

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stfballplayer7 Posts : 271 Registered: 3/17/08
Re: what to do?
Posted: Jun 5, 2008 3:35 PM Go to message in response to: FinallyMrsF

the charity idea would be good... if my family and most of his would do it. i know that mine and most of his would rather burn their money rather than give it away. but the whole dropping a hint of where they like to shop is a good idea and i know most of them would more than likely run with that. 
         

                                  THE FUTURE MRS. B.R. HERB  4/13/09

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10042008Bride Posts : 82 Registered: 9/11/07
Re: what to do?
Posted: Jun 5, 2008 3:41 PM Go to message in response to: stfballplayer7

What about registering for outdoors stuff?  Do you have patio furniture, garden hose, even outside games like volleyball if you like to play?

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Brookitacita Posts : 59 Registered: 12/4/06
Re: what to do?
Posted: Jun 6, 2008 5:41 AM Go to message in response to: stfballplayer7

You might consider trying a honeymoon registry. If there is really NOTHING else you need, then this is something that you can definitely use that you don't already have. Problem solved.

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eshee8198 Posts : 6 Registered: 5/21/08
Re: what to do?
Posted: Jun 6, 2008 8:59 AM Go to message in response to: stfballplayer7

If there isn't anything you possibly need, then what on earth would people get you that you wouldn't want to return? I think maybe you should try to envision what type of gift you would receive and be happy with. There is a miriad of places to register, not just homegoods stores. If you feel you have enough towels, china, and dishes, you can register for books, experiences, specialty items, etc. You can set up an Amazon wish list that has everything from books to jewelery or electronics. Or you can set up something at a wish list site where people can pitch in together to buy you larger ticket items. Just make sure that you provide options that are in a reasonable price range.  

If you really can't think of anything you'd want, I agree that having a charity option is at least step number one. Maybe asking your BP to spread the word that you don't want gifts is step number two.

But I do think that not registering, but asking people to include a receipt so that you can return things might come off as just tacky. And not registering at all with no alternatives like a charity option can make it look like you're just trying to get people to give you money.


Message was edited by: eshee8198

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uno Posts : 619 Registered: 1/4/08
Re: what to do?
Posted: Jun 6, 2008 9:43 AM Go to message in response to: stfballplayer7

I don't think you said if you live together in a house or an apartment?

If it's a house - you could register at lowes if you guys are wanting to update the house or remodel or really just about anything.  (even things like a garbage disposal, dishwasher, closet organizer).  You could also do grills, outdoor patio sets, rugs, and things like that. 

Even if you live in an apartment - do you have a patio or balcony.  You could still get a nice grill, chairs, and storage/organization things!

If there is really nothing you need to register for, I agree with registering for a honeymoon.  Try and get one that let's people buy you things - dinner, excursions, massages as opposed to just paying for it (assuming someone hasn't already paid for your honeymoon). 


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Montereybride08 Posts : 494 Registered: 1/25/08
Re: what to do?
Posted: Jun 6, 2008 11:14 AM Go to message in response to: uno

"i know that mine and most of his would rather burn their money rather than give it away."

How has nobody else responded to this part of what she said??

REALLY?!? They would rather burn their money than help out a good cause? I just can't even begin to imagine what kind of people think that way...

I am truely baffeled.


October 18th, here we come!

 

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luckykelleyk Posts : 113 Registered: 7/24/07
Re: what to do?
Posted: Jun 6, 2008 11:18 AM Go to message in response to: Montereybride08

You're wedding is almost a whole year away, you might change your mind. wait 6 months and then consider your options again. 

 


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stfballplayer7 Posts : 271 Registered: 3/17/08
Re: what to do?
Posted: Jun 6, 2008 2:29 PM Go to message in response to: Montereybride08

it's just that i know my fsmily doesn't like to "give away" "free" money... they don't see why they should give their money to other people since nobody ever helped tem in their time of need. therefore, charity not a good idea... as for his i am not quite sure... so you can call my family greedy if you like but that doesn't bother me because i know that we are not.
         

                                  THE FUTURE MRS. B.R. HERB  4/13/09

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