B-list wedding invitation

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kroberts Posts : 443 Registered: 7/30/07
Re: B-list wedding invitation
Posted: Jun 3, 2008 1:44 PM Go to message in response to: myra

I don't like the evite thing either.

If you think they're present searching then send them a Congratulations card with a nice note that reads, "Sorry, can't go."


April 4, 2009 is the big day!

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: B-list wedding invitation
Posted: Jun 3, 2008 2:01 PM Go to message in response to: Love2u

Oooo - outlet malls! I had a vague idea that they were out there, somewhere, but I've never been. I'm really clueless about VA and MD, except for the small parts of them that are inside the Beltway! Ok, I'm going to assume that it'll take about 45 minutes to get there, maybe less depending on traffic. Thanks for the heads-up about the tolls!

I just found my friend's work number and gave him a call. He definitely meant to invite both of us and apologized about the short notice. I guess they've had a really hard time nailing down responses from his TONS of family members and didn't know whether they'd have enough space, which is understandable. I doubt his FW knows that he sent us an Evite - the whole thing is TOTALLY him, especially the Evite intro text that reads, 'sorry for the late-ass invitation to our wedding...'

The girls and I are emailing back and forth and plan to make an executive decision by the end of the day. I'm pretty sure we'll all go. We're pretty close friends with the groom, like I said. (After all, he made the cut for our wedding, and not many people did!)


DaisypathWedding Ticker

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Chad Posts : 637 Registered: 10/3/06
Re: B-list wedding invitation
Posted: Jun 3, 2008 3:06 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

I've been on the B list and I don't mind when it's done properly and with some consideration.  I'm honored they thought of me.  I'm also mature enough to understand that budget, venue and other factors limit inviting ability.  I'm also not so self-important that I think my personal presence is the one that makes or breaks their event.

Evites for weddings are tacky.  I don't give a damn.  They're thoughtless and show no appreciation for their own event, much less the effort it takes on my part to show up.  Evites are for birthday parties and that's all.  They want an answer tomorrow?  Yeah, no thought, no consideration, no appreciation on their part.  They're @ssholes.




Chad ~ 11.19.05

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: B-list wedding invitation
Posted: Jun 3, 2008 3:21 PM Go to message in response to: Chad

Yeah, I really would have preferred an email or phone call to an Evite.

I'm not going to trash Evites, though, since we did them for our RD. I would have preferred to have sent real invites, but with my MIL changing her mind on the budget a month before the wedding...and then adding a bunch of people to the guest list about 10 days before the wedding...there really wasn't much of a choice, since the RD plan changed at the last minute.


DaisypathWedding Ticker

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: B-list wedding invitation
Posted: Jun 3, 2008 3:29 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

Hey Art-

Different people are offended by different things. Yes, its a bit tacky to invite you on an Evite; but I really do think you can chalk this one up to "clueless male"; especially after that message saying, "Sorry about the lateass invitation LOL." If it were me, I would just laugh it off and realize that this wasnt done purposely or to hurt you in any way (which it sounds like you do realize). Go to the wedding and have a good time.:)


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Chad Posts : 637 Registered: 10/3/06
Re: B-list wedding invitation
Posted: Jun 3, 2008 6:23 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

RD invitation as an Evite I can handle.  Except my Dad is a stickler, he might have used Evite.  As it was, he handwrote every RD invitation on his personal stationery.  But for a wedding?  Hells naw.

Chad ~ 11.19.05

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sandraxtna Posts : 86 Registered: 8/26/07
Re: B-list wedding invitation
Posted: Jun 3, 2008 8:45 PM Go to message in response to: Chad

I think the e-vite and late notice is tacky. Personally, I would respectfully decline. It's one thing to be on the B-list and get an actual, physical invite but to get an e-mail? I don't get that.

Let us know what you decided! 

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: B-list wedding invitation
Posted: Jun 3, 2008 11:22 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

Dear AB,

"What would you all do in this situation? "

Probably decline.

This isn't one of my nearest and dearest friends, and making it obvious that there is a B-list is crummy.

I'd send a medium-expense present and a nice card with a sincere note. Then, I'd go someplace interesting that evening so I could always say "We had plans already." if quizzed later.

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: B-list wedding invitation
Posted: Jun 4, 2008 9:28 AM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Yeah, I think the Evite was pretty tacky, but I really don't think it was meant to offend us. I'm pretty sure that their guest list was just family and longtime OOT friends...and when they received enough declines to know that they had extra space, they said, 'Hey - let's invite a few local friends!' I have to admit that we did the same exact thing, and we didn't try to make it a secret that we were doing so. We had some new friends (had been socializing with them for about 4 months or so...long after our guest list had been finalized) and we said, 'We'd love to invite you guys, but we won't have space unless a bunch of people decline.' Perhaps that was tacky of us, but it was the truth. We ended up having space for them, and sent them all invitations about 3 weeks before the wedding.

It really could have been done better in this case, but I don't really mind, given that it appears to be the groom's idea. Personally, I would have preferred a phone call saying, 'We're really sorry for the short notice and your invitation is on its way. Since we need the final count by X date, we just wanted to give you a heads-up so that you could check your calendars. Please let us know by X date if you can attend.'

It looks like we're all going to go, except for the girl who doesn't live locally (I don't think he expected her to be able to come, but the four of us are one of those 'groups' of guests....you know, the ones where you have to invite all four, since you're equally close to all of them). There's really no reason not to go, except to protest the tackiness of the invitation...which isn't really worth it, since we all like the bride and groom and would like to attend.

I don't think I'm going to spend as much on a gift as I normally do for a wedding, though. I talked to the girls yesterday about getting a group gift...we'll probably get something nice, but I don't think we'll spend more total between the three of us then I've spent on each gift for the other three weddings I'm going to this month (which are all closer friends and family...so I'd spend a little more on them then on this couple anyway).


DaisypathWedding Ticker

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NJ4Life Posts : 3,358 Registered: 8/10/07
Re: B-list wedding invitation
Posted: Jun 4, 2008 9:39 AM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

We totally did the same thing. We needed to have a 120 minimum head count (which I thought was 100 at the time I sent the invites out!) and I told my work friends that if I needed more, then I'd invite them too. There were only 5 of them and they all came. I handed them invitations at work about 3 weeks before the wedding. And since they were all prepared before that, it wasn't a huge deal. They're close to me, and who's gunna turn down a free meal and an open bar!? And I 100% did NOT expect a gift from them and honestly didn't want a gift from them. I got a gift from 2 of them, and the others, didnt give one. I was just happy they came since I'd have invited them if I knew I was going to get closer to them down the road.

I guess it just depends on who you do it to. For friends and people our own age, I dont think its a big deal. For family members it might be weird.


Formerly Ama102707

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