Curiousity- how many 'yes' responses did you receive? Bit of a vent...

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scatterjoy Posts : 117 Registered: 9/27/06
Curiousity- how many 'yes' responses did you receive? Bit of a vent...
Posted: May 28, 2008 2:07 PM

My FH and I are a bit disappointed with the number of guests that have decided not to come to our wedding.  I know that 95% of the guests that we invited have to travel, so that is the major reason for them not coming, but on the other hand they have known the date of the wedding for almost three years (and we have sent out plenty of emails with our date over the years), so it was a bit frustrating to find that we only have 130 out of 200 invited guests coming.  We were anticipating around 175- since all guests were family (no second cousins or such) and close friends.  But don't get me wrong- I fully appreciate the guests who have decided to come and I am very excited to see them, but I am still disappointed that our guest count is a bit lower than I anticipated.  I guess what is really annoying is that the guests who aren't coming are telling us that it's because it's too expensive or they have to work- if they have known about the wedding for 3 years, don't you think you would start budgeting for it?!?  These guests who are not coming include aunts, uncles and cousins and I guess that's why it makes it more frustrating because they are FAMILY...

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Curiousity- how many 'yes' responses did you receive? Bit of a vent...
Posted: May 28, 2008 2:13 PM Go to message in response to: scatterjoy

Yeah, that happens sometimes. You just have to try not to take it personally. We had about 75 guests at our wedding out of about 130 invited - but a lot of ours were OOT, like yours.

True, they have known about your wedding for several years, and I understand why you're disappointed...but remember that the economy sucks right now and travel costs are higher than normal. This is especially true if some of them would have driven to attend your wedding. A three-hour road trip may have seemed like nothing to them 3 years ago, but now gas costs more than $4/gal. There are SO MANY reasons why people may not be able to come to your wedding. Things come up. Don't take it personally.


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krista210 Posts : 450 Registered: 7/14/07
Re: Curiousity- how many 'yes' responses did you receive? Bit of a vent...
Posted: May 28, 2008 2:13 PM Go to message in response to: scatterjoy

at least your budget will be smaller!!? That's always a good thing!
DaisypathWedding Ticker

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scatterjoy Posts : 117 Registered: 9/27/06
Re: Curiousity- how many 'yes' responses did you receive? Bit of a vent...
Posted: May 28, 2008 2:39 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

Thank you.  Yes, I am not taking it personally, just slightly disappointed.  And I completely agree that gas prices were a major factor in many decisions, but was still hoping that more guests would've had accepted the invitation.

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MsDenuninani Posts : 3,962 Registered: 3/16/07
Re: Curiousity- how many 'yes' responses did you receive? Bit of a vent...
Posted: May 28, 2008 2:47 PM Go to message in response to: scatterjoy

scatterjoy, I had something similar happen. We invited 250, expected 180, and got 140. It was still a lovely day, but I was initially pretty disheartened. Take heart, though -- it's been 6 months since my wedding and I don't really think about it anymore.

__________________________________________
"Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time.  We are the ones we've been waiting for.  We are the change that we seek."  Barack Obama, Feb. 5, 2008.

"We can't solve problems by using the same knd of thinking we used when we created them." Albert Einstein

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TanisJ Posts : 2,669 Registered: 4/25/07
Re: Curiousity- how many 'yes' responses did you receive? Bit of a vent...
Posted: May 28, 2008 2:52 PM Go to message in response to: scatterjoy

I am sorry scatterjoy and I know how this feels. I just moved from west coast of Canada to east coast of USA and we are only going to have 20 people at our wedding. I didn't expect any of my Canadian friends to come, but some said they would (even though I hadn't invited them) so I am bit disappointed that three weeks before our rsvp deadline I haven't heard from any of them, even though they invited themselves. I even sent an email telling them the hotel was almost completely booked and I haven't heard from any of them. If it makes you feel better right now I have a total of 4 people on my side! But boy our we going to treat our guests like royalty.

On the plus side now that your guest list has dropped, this allows more budget per person for those people willing to travel. You can add extra money to the food budget, get fancier favors, incorporate welcome gifts and all sorts of other things.

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HLYflute Posts : 1,282 Registered: 2/5/07
Re: Curiousity- how many 'yes' responses did you receive? Bit of a vent...
Posted: May 28, 2008 3:30 PM Go to message in response to: scatterjoy

Well, if they had budgeted for it 3 years ago, gas would have only been 2 dollars a gallon instead of 4, so that could have something to do with it.  I know a lot of people are really feeling the financial crunch right now.  As someone who travels fairly often, I can tell you that airfare is almost double what it was a year ago!  So it's quite possible that if they had planned on coming a year or more ago, but simply can't afford it with the added fuel costs.  Of course you're disappointed that they won't be there-- that makes total sense, especially since it sounds like you had been looking forward to seeing them.  But sometimes there really are extenuating circumstances.

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ginmal Posts : 396 Registered: 1/11/08
Re: Curiousity- how many 'yes' responses did you receive? Bit of a vent...
Posted: May 28, 2008 3:43 PM Go to message in response to: HLYflute

I could have been informed 3 years ago that I would be invited to a wedding, and even givin the date. And three years ago I would have thought I could attend...since then the economy has gone down the toilet, my DH has been "laid off" and I am now trying to support my husband and 7 year old on my income and what DH can bring in from "odd jobs"....there is NO WAY I would be able to travel for a wedding right now...not even an HOUR away.

I know it's disapointing, and that sucks...but that's life. Just remember I am sure none of them are doing it to be hateful....but think of the cost of gas?? I pay 4.08 a gallon! And airfare has DOUBLED what it used to be.....and have you seen the cost of FOOD latley? It's the economy...it sucks.


**Formerly Gin & Gin13...forgot my password!! LOL**

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Retired Posts : 808 Registered: 4/17/06
Re: Curiousity- how many 'yes' responses did you receive? Bit of a vent...
Posted: May 28, 2008 4:16 PM Go to message in response to: scatterjoy

I know how it feels to have family who can't come. My only surviving grandparent can't come, and I really wanted FH to meet her since I've met every single person in his extended family.

As everyone has said, the economy is depressing and it is hard to travel. And I will b unfortunately honest with you, if I ha been told bout a wedding three years ago, I wouldn't have started budgeting for it. A year prior, yes, but not three.

Try to keep your head up. I'm sure the majority of them aren't declining because they don't want to be there. It's okay to feel disappointed, but try not to let it dampen the day.


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futuremrsperry Posts : 1,904 Registered: 4/23/06
Re: Curiousity- how many 'yes' responses did you receive? Bit of a vent...
Posted: May 28, 2008 4:59 PM Go to message in response to: scatterjoy

I had about 15 people let me yes then either not show up or tell me no the day before the wedding, after we had given our final count to the reception site.  Yeah I was mad, but don't take it personally.

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JodiMarie Posts : 185 Registered: 3/5/07
Re: Curiousity- how many 'yes' responses did you receive? Bit of a vent...
Posted: May 28, 2008 5:04 PM Go to message in response to: Retired

I was married Sept 29, and we had invited about 150 and received about 130 yes responses so I was happy. The ones who said no we kinda of expected to anyways, I just wanted them to know that they were invited. Well, come the wedding day, the 130 was more like 75-100. Not everyone that said yes came, but most importantly my closest family was there so that is who I really wanted there in the first place so I was happy. There were also people that came that we did not invite, friends of friends some of them I didn't even know. We did our wedding buffet style so we had plenty of food so I didn't mind. Some of them had help us set up the tent and stuff too, so it was all good. My biggest disappointment was my Godmother was not there. I hadn't seen her for several years, I had written her a letter when I sent the wedding invite and told her I really wanted her to be there. Well she returned the card back and had marked yes to her, her son, and her 5 grandchildren. I was so looking forward to seeing her and having her there, but when the day came she wasn't there. I still don't know why, my guess is she either mixed up the date or something came up. I'm not taking it personally though. I am going to send her a wedding photo. I was also a bit disappointed that my family seemed rather small compared to my husbands. I am an only child but I always thought that I had alot of cousins and uncles etc. Well at the wedding I think my family fit at 2 round tables and a 3rd with some family friends all the other tables were filled with my husbands family and family friends. It was a bit disconcerning, in fact I started doing a head count, I was sure some of my family had not shown up, but no there were all there, I guess my family wasn't quite as big as I had thought.

Just try to enjoy who is at your wedding and don't worry about who is not, celebrate and have fun.

FYI now that it is almost 7 months since I was married we keep running in to people we had forgot to invite. We thought we thought of everyone but there has been a few people that have been a little disappointed they did not receive an invitation. Mostly people we had not seen in sometime but have happened to run into and it was like oh yeah I'm married now, they seemed a little disappointed they were not invited, we were like oops, oh well, it happens.

Jodi 


Wedding will be Sept 29, 2007, only 6 months to go!! 

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sandraxtna Posts : 86 Registered: 8/26/07
Re: Curiousity- how many 'yes' responses did you receive? Bit of a vent...
Posted: May 28, 2008 5:07 PM Go to message in response to: futuremrsperry

Look at the positives:

- Will cost you less $

- You can give the guests who are coming more attention

- You will be married!

I know it's easier said than done. I actually hope out of the 140 we're inviting, that only 100 come 

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scatterjoy Posts : 117 Registered: 9/27/06
Re: Curiousity- how many 'yes' responses did you receive? Bit of a vent...
Posted: May 28, 2008 5:31 PM Go to message in response to: scatterjoy

I appreciate your responses- I completely understand that the biggest reason that some of our guests cannot come to the wedding is because they cannot afford it due to the state of the economy.  I was really just wondering if anyone else is/has experienced this, as it is a bit disheartening to receive a lower guest count than we anticipated.  

And as PP have mentioned, not having to pay as much as we budgeted for is definitely a positive note.

Thanks for your responses. 

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: Curiousity- how many 'yes' responses did you receive? Bit of a vent...
Posted: May 28, 2008 8:24 PM Go to message in response to: scatterjoy

Its normal to be disappointed.

We invited 140, and had 95 attend. At first, I was upset about it; but then I decided not to let it bother me. There are so many factors in WHY people can or cannot attend. I definately agree the economy is a huge factor right now. People didnt plan on being broke or losing jobs or paying these gas and food prices. Also, if you have a lot of people traveling, thats normal. Sometimes when you give people TOO MUCH time,such as 3years, they will SAY "sure we will be there" but when its time to commit; they realize they really cant do it. Youve done nothing wrong..its just the way people are. Human nature.

Heres the thing though... on your wedding day, you will not spent even ONE second thinking about the people that are NOT there. You wont even notice. Youll be too busy looking at and talking to and spending time with the ones who ARE there. And thats the absolute truth. So I understand youre upset ... just know its normal and it will not put a damper on anything at all.


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carebearny1999 Posts : 1,253 Registered: 9/21/07
Re: Curiousity- how many 'yes' responses did you receive? Bit of a vent...
Posted: May 28, 2008 8:25 PM Go to message in response to: scatterjoy

2, but I only sent them out a week ago! Laughing

http://www.mywedding.com/caryandmike/

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