Selfish Bridesmaids?

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psychcuddles Posts : 4 Registered: 10/9/07
Selfish Bridesmaids?
Posted: May 27, 2008 10:22 AM

I am getting married in Octobe 2008.  I have a total of 6 bridesmaids.  4 of them are on top of things and have gotten their dresses and offered to help.  However, I have 2 that I am really worried about.  They have not gotten their dresses, for one!!  We were suppose to go one saturday but at the last minute cancelled on me and asked that we go the next saturday.  Well the next Saturday came and they called me to tell me that they had a backyard "project" that needed to be done.  (They are sisters.)  By this time I was furious!!!  I don't know what to do with them.  I bent ovver backwards for the one that got married last year.  How can I proceed with this.  At this point I don't even care if they come out anymore.  Thanks in advance for all your help! Frown


BelleBride10 Posts : 4 Registered: 5/27/08
Re: Selfish Bridesmaids?
Posted: May 27, 2008 11:47 AM Go to message in response to: psychcuddles

GOSH that's frustrating!  It stinks that bridesmaids can be SO selfish.  Buying a dress is not much to ask!!!!!!

You need to tell them how you feel.  No bride deserves to be put on the back burner like that!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can't wait to be a real Princess Bride!!!!!


BenjaminsWife Posts : 1,069 Registered: 1/11/07
Re: Selfish Bridesmaids?
Posted: May 27, 2008 11:53 AM Go to message in response to: psychcuddles

Pick out a dress for those BM and tell them it needs to be ordered by this date otherwise they wont be able to be in the wedding as they wont have a dress.

Its very fustrating. I intially had 4 BM and now have 2 which is fine with me. One of them even dropped out because she hated the BM dress I about being selfish!

Formerly San Ramon Bride

The Big Day: 9/20/08


ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Selfish Bridesmaids?
Posted: May 27, 2008 2:43 PM Go to message in response to: psychcuddles

We ordered BM dresses about 5 months in advance, so you're not too late. In fact, my gowns got destroyed in shipping between the designer and the salon, and we STILL got the re-order with a month to spare. Check with your bridal store and find out when the order has to be placed for the designer you've chosen. Then give the last two girls a deadline. Tell the store to place the order on X day, whether they've heard from the other 2 or not. If the last two BMs can't order their gowns before the deadline, tell them they're out of the wedding.

This is pretty common. My DH had two groomsmen drop out because they couldn't place their formalwear order in time. Luckily my BMs were all FABULOUS and ordering their gowns was a BREEZE.

DaisypathWedding Ticker

I like the flowers, so I'm keeping my useless ticker. Just married, 4/26/08!


PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Selfish Bridesmaids?
Posted: May 29, 2008 12:29 AM Go to message in response to: psychcuddles

My one BM just ordered her dress and my wedding is a little over 2 months out.  

So as PP said, chose the dress, find out the "drop dead' order date and make sure your girls know. 

If they chose to not continue then it's on them. 


ginmal Posts : 396 Registered: 1/11/08
Re: Selfish Bridesmaids?
Posted: May 29, 2008 12:52 PM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

My sister (MOH) ordered her MOH dress a month before my came in three days before and was altered the day before.

Stop will be fine.

**Formerly Gin & Gin13...forgot my password!! LOL**


Lorilee Posts : 437 Registered: 12/18/07
Re: Selfish Bridesmaids?
Posted: May 29, 2008 3:27 PM Go to message in response to: ginmal

Honestly, if you're really worried, put a plan in place like I did. I have a small wedding party; two BM's and my MOH, and from the start, I saw very little commitment; in fact, they told me originally that the dresses I found were too expensive (they were $90 on Sale at David's Bridal). I asked them to come dress hunting; they declined. So I gave them until the end of March to tell me what style dress they were wearing, and offered to pay half for the dresses if they were too expensive. I'm not saying you should offer to help pay, but give them a deadline, but be nice about it.

Explain that you'd like to be sure everyone has their dresses ahead of time, and that it's causing stress not knowing if they're commited or not. If they say they don't have the money right now, then relax for a bit before asking again.

Everything will work out okay. Take a deep breath, and try to relax; stressing isn't healthy for anyone.

Lori & Bob
October 11, 2008


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