A couple questions about wedding gift-giving

Online Users: 1,355 guest(s), 1 user(s). Replies: 53


Bride2008 Posts : 3,058 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: A couple questions about wedding gift-giving
Posted: May 13, 2008 12:21 PM Go to message in response to: 5in3

I am a fan of the gift receipt for one reason only. My cousin got a beauitful crystal bowl - that had broken in shipping. There was no gift receipt included and it wasn't off her registry. My cousin loved the bowl, but had no way to replace it.

 

"I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." - Billy Crystal, When Harry met Sally 

Reply


MrsMcCain Posts : 580 Registered: 10/24/07
Re: A couple questions about wedding gift-giving
Posted: May 13, 2008 12:39 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

We spend what we can afford... generally it is about $50-$75.00, but it also depends on the wedding. I would probably buy my sister a nicer gift than a distant relative who invited us. If I were to give a check it would be for about the same price. If I wasn't attending the wedding I would not send a gift at all, unless I was really close to that person and for some reason could not attend.

 

Reply

Love2u Posts : 1,661 Registered: 10/24/07
Re: A couple questions about wedding gift-giving
Posted: May 13, 2008 12:42 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

1) How much do you generally spend on a wedding gift?

It really depends on both how close I am to the couple and how much I've spent on the wedding in total.  For casual friends, I usually spend about $50.  For close friends about $100, for family around it depends on whether I'm hosting stuff, in the bridal party, or other contributions, so the gifts will usually vary between $150 - $250.

2) If you write a check for a wedding gift, do you give more than you would spend on a gift? Or less? Or about the same?

I don't do checks, but when I give gift cards, I'll do it in $25 increments in accordance with the same range as gifts.

3) Do you bring the gift to the reception or have it sent to the couple's home? Do you take the location of the wedding into consideration when you decide this?

I try to buy off people's online registries.  If it's an online shopping experience (my favorite kind of shopping), then I'll have the gift shipped directly IAW the registry information.  Unless it is a very special circumstance, if I can't buy it online, then I give them a gift card.

4) If you send a gift in advance, do you bring a card to the reception?

I always give a card at the reception.

5) If you attend a shower, do you take into consideration the amount already spent on a shower gift when you buy a wedding gift?

I do take into account the wedding gift, only spending $25-$75 for the shower gift above and beyond the wedding gift (depending on the relationship).

6) If you have to travel to attend a wedding, do you spend less than you would if the wedding was local?

The only people I travel out of town for a very close families/friends, and it doesn't change how much I spend on the gift.

7) Do you ever send a gift AFTER the wedding, and base the amount you spend on how nice the wedding was?

No. 

8) If you can't go to the wedding, do you send a gift or card anyway?

I send a card for every wedding invitation I receive, regardless of whether I'm going to attend.  Whether I also send a gift depends on whether they are friends or family.  If I haven't spoken, written, or otherwise communicated with them in at least the last 6 months(friends) or 12 months (family), they are just getting a card.

9) If you can't attend a wedding, do you send a nicer gift than you would give if you could attend? Or not as nice?

The same rule applies as #1, if I'm going to send them a gift.

 


Love2uKiss

Message was edited by: Love2u

Reply


BreAnn Posts : 600 Registered: 11/28/07
Re: A couple questions about wedding gift-giving
Posted: May 13, 2008 12:44 PM Go to message in response to: Bride2008

I hate not getting a gift receipt, whether it be for Christmas, birthday, wedding or whatever. At our Wedding shower we got two toasters. We didn't need a toaster, did not have a toaster on any of our registries, and now we have two and no way to return them because they didn't give a gift reciept. We also go two crock pots. One was off of our registry, the other someone went to a store we didn't register at and bought what they wanted to get us, which is fine, except we don't need a second crock pot. Thankfully, they did put a gift receipt on it and we are able to return it. We also got 5 sets of silverware when we only asked for 3, though we got a gift receipt for all of those, we decided to keep them because as everyone knows forks and spoons are like socks and there must be something in the dishwasher that eats them after a while!

Reply


futuremrsperry Posts : 1,904 Registered: 4/23/06
Re: A couple questions about wedding gift-giving
Posted: May 13, 2008 12:49 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

Ok my answers!! 

1) How much do you generally spend on a wedding gift?

I usually spend $50-$100, if I can afford it.  But if I find something nice for less I'll go for it like something off the registry.  Of course if it's a family wedding, I'll spend more.  

2) If you write a check for a wedding gift, do you give more than you would spend on a gift? Or less? Or about the same?

I try to give about the same.

3) Do you bring the gift to the reception or have it sent to the couple's home? Do you take the location of the wedding into consideration when you decide this?

It depends how big the gift is and if the couple lives in the area.  For a friend's wedding I brought the gift tot he wedding because they live in the area.  For my brother, who is getting married in our hometown, rather then Raleigh, where he lives now.  I'll send it to him.  It is just going to be easier then transporting everything back.

4) If you send a gift in advance, do you bring a card to the reception?

I never like to be anywhere empty handed so I always have a card with me.  For my wedding, the cards with words of wisdom were often the best gifts!

5) If you attend a shower, do you take into consideration the amount already spent on a shower gift when you buy a wedding gift?

I don't.  They are separate events, plus if they are family weddings, I go in on a gift with my mom and sister.  We usually pick a room, like the bathroom or kitchen and get pretty much everything for it.  

6) If you have to travel to attend a wedding, do you spend less than you would if the wedding was local?

I don't but it does change what I would get the couple.  If I don't send it, it has to be able to travel well.  The only thing that bothers me is the way my family treats multiple family weddings.  They usually splits the amount they spend on a wedding among all the couples.  So it they would normally spend $100, and 2 couples are getting married, they will spend $50 on each.  But it's expected because they do it for birthdays and graduations too.

7) Do you ever send a gift AFTER the wedding, and base the amount you spend on how nice the wedding was?

haha NO!!!! i have never heard of that!

8) If you can't go to the wedding, do you send a gift or card anyway?

I do because that is how my family has always handled it.  But I don't think most people do.  At least most of the people who couldn't be at my wedding didn't.

9) If you can't attend a wedding, do you send a nicer gift than you would give if you could attend? Or not as nice?

No, it will be just as nice.

 

I am a big fan of gift receipts because you never know how many of that item the couple will get. We got 4 Brita pitchers.  We returned 1 and gave the other 2 to my brother and sister.  Then we got 5 more place settings then we could fit in our cabinets and had to return them.  Plus the item may be damaged or not something to couple likes.  


Message was edited by: futuremrsperry

Reply


PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: A couple questions about wedding gift-giving
Posted: May 13, 2008 1:00 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

1) How much do you generally spend on a wedding gift?

It truly depends for on how much I can afford, how close the person is to me and sometimes the logistics of getting to the wedding.  When I was in grad school for example, I was POOR, so I wasn't necessarily able to do much. 

2) If you write a check for a wedding gift, do you give more than you would spend on a gift? Or less? Or about the same?

About the same.

3) Do you bring the gift to the reception or have it sent to the couple's home? Do you take the location of the wedding into consideration when you decide this?

I almost always bring it with me.  I feel that most places rip you off for shipping and that can significantly cut into what I can afford.

4) If you send a gift in advance, do you bring a card to the reception?

I haven't ever given a gift in advance, but I would bring a card if I had already sent a gift.  Just me - I'm a card freak!

5) If you attend a shower, do you take into consideration the amount already spent on a shower gift when you buy a wedding gift?

No.  I consider them two separate events.

6) If you have to travel to attend a wedding, do you spend less than you would if the wedding was local?

It could effect my I was able to give. 

7) Do you ever send a gift AFTER the wedding, and base the amount you spend on how nice the wedding was?

No

8) If you can't go to the wedding, do you send a gift or card anyway?

Depends.  If I really know the people getting married, yes.  My cousin got married and I SO wanted to be there, I sent a gift. 

9) If you can't attend a wedding, do you send a nicer gift than you would give if you could attend? Or not as nice?

No

Also, I tend to give a gift at the shower and money at the wedding.  Just me.  And I think that this is also a regional thing and based on what my Mom would do. 


Reply


lullaby898 Posts : 18 Registered: 7/14/07
Re: A couple questions about wedding gift-giving
Posted: May 13, 2008 1:01 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

1) How much do you generally spend on a wedding gift?

Usually $100, if I'm bringing FH, $200.  In NJ, this is usually covering the cost of the plate.

2) If you write a check for a wedding gift, do you give more than you would spend on a gift? Or less? Or about the same?

I always give checks for weddings.

3) Do you bring the gift to the reception or have it sent to the couple's home? Do you take the location of the wedding into consideration when you decide this?

I'd have it sent so that they didn't have to worry about lugging it home.

4) If you send a gift in advance, do you bring a card to the reception?

yes.

5) If you attend a shower, do you take into consideration the amount already spent on a shower gift when you buy a wedding gift?

Never thought of doing this.  I would still give separate gifts. 

6) If you have to travel to attend a wedding, do you spend less than you would if the wedding was local?

Depends on the costs of getting there and the relation.

7) Do you ever send a gift AFTER the wedding, and base the amount you spend on how nice the wedding was?

I can't even imagine doing that.  I've heard of people writing the checks out at the reception (which I think is silly as well) but never sending a check after.

8) If you can't go to the wedding, do you send a gift or card anyway?

Yes.

9) If you can't attend a wedding, do you send a nicer gift than you would give if you could attend? Or not as nice?

Depends on the person.  If it's someone I'm close to, I'd probably send a nicer gift, if not, less expensive gift.

Reply

Fitzer Posts : 643 Registered: 8/7/07
Re: A couple questions about wedding gift-giving
Posted: May 13, 2008 1:02 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

1) How much do you generally spend on a wedding gift?

I usually spend about $50 per invited person.  This sounds strange, but when I invited to weddings pre-FH as Ms. Fitzer and Guest, I spent $50.  Now as Ms. Fitzer and Mr. FHof Fitzer, it's $100, maybe more depending on closeness to bride and groom. 

2) If you write a check for a wedding gift, do you give more than you would spend on a gift? Or less? Or about the same?

I always buy off a registry - that's what they like, that's what they want for their new married household.  Who am I to say their taste isn't good enough?  If I had to write a check/give a gift card, I'd give the same amount, approximately, that I'd have spent on a gift.

3) Do you bring the gift to the reception or have it sent to the couple's home? Do you take the location of the wedding into consideration when you decide this?

I actually feel pretty passionate about this one.  I send the gift.  It becomes a big transportation issue.  Every wedding I've been to, the bridal party has been stuck moving these gifts, and it's a huge pain.  Especially when people bring large gifts that don't fit into a normal sized car.  A few picture frames isn't a problem, but big boxes with large appliances are.  There's also the issue of getting the gifts to a relative or friend's home if the couple is going straight/soon on their honeymoon. 

4) If you send a gift in advance, do you bring a card to the reception?

No.  They got a card with their gift.

5) If you attend a shower, do you take into consideration the amount already spent on a shower gift when you buy a wedding gift?

Kind of.  I don't necessarily do strict math on this, but I kind of round it all out.  If I'm going to a shower, I opt for under the $50 or $100 for the gift, and I keep the shower gift probably around $25.  But then again, if I'm going to the shower, I'm probaby closer to the bride than had I just been invited to the wedding, so my overall total goes up somewhat. 

6) If you have to travel to attend a wedding, do you spend less than you would if the wedding was local?

No.  If I'm travelling for the wedding, I'm close to the couple.  I don't go to OOT weddings for people I'm not as close to.  If I care enough to spend on travel, I care enough to spend more on the wedding total.

7) Do you ever send a gift AFTER the wedding, and base the amount you spend on how nice the wedding was?

 No

8) If you can't go to the wedding, do you send a gift or card anyway?

Yes.  I don't give gifts to people getting married because I need to or because it's expected.  I give a wedding gift in celebration of the marriage.  Whether I'm at the wedding or not, I still want to celebrate the marriage and give the couple a gift as a congrats.  I've never been invited to a wedding I didn't feel deserving of invite to (it's always made sense that I was invited).

9) If you can't attend a wedding, do you send a nicer gift than you would give if you could attend? Or not as nice?

I tend to spend a little more, especially because the ones I haven't gone to have been OOT, so I add a little on since I won't be paying for travel.  Yeah, this doesn't exactly fit with what I said about not spending less for going OOT, but oh well.




Message was edited by: Fitzer

I edited this because my first draft got way too soapbox-y.

Reply
Guest
Re: A couple questions about wedding gift-giving
Posted: May 13, 2008 2:15 PM Go to message in response to: Fitzer

I just have one comment about sending gifts after.  I have done this but it has nothing to do with how nice the reception is.  My husband has this thing he likes to do with close friends that get married.  Several months after the wedding we send them a gift card to a really nice restaurant.  We make sure it is enough for dinner, dessert and wine.  It is usually around $300.00.  We have been told by everyone that they have loved it.  After the wedding you tend to not spend anytime for yourselves and you need a nice night out.

Reply


MrsLewis Posts : 325 Registered: 7/9/07
Re: A couple questions about wedding gift-giving
Posted: May 13, 2008 2:31 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

1) How much do you generally spend on a wedding gift?

About $50.00.  Sometimes it's cash (check), sometimes it is in the form of a gift that they chose. 

2) If you write a check for a wedding gift, do you give more than you would spend on a gift? Or less? Or about the same?

The monetary gift would be the same.  I might go a little under, or a little over, if actually purchasing a gift....just depends.  Cash is the same for everyone.

3) Do you bring the gift to the reception or have it sent to the couple's home? Do you take the location of the wedding into consideration when you decide this?

We always just bring it with us.  I've never been to a "destination" wedding of any sort, so it (the gift) generally never travels more than 30 miles.

4) If you send a gift in advance, do you bring a card to the reception?

I've never sent a gift in advance.

5) If you attend a shower, do you take into consideration the amount already spent on a shower gift when you buy a wedding gift?

The shower gift depends on how much I actually like the couple.  Sounds terrible, but when you live in a teeny town, you get invited to everything, whether you are close or not..........  If I am actually close to the couple, I spend around $40 on a gift off of their registry.  If I'm not close to the couple, I spend $20 on something off of their registry, and drop it off at the shower location while someone is setting up with an excuse of why I can't stay......or just send the gift with someone who is going.  :) 

6) If you have to travel to attend a wedding, do you spend less than you would if the wedding was local?

I've never had to travel......I will be traveling to a wedding about 3.5 hrs. away three weeks after my wedding, and we may have to scale down on their present, for not only travel, but b/c of having four weddings in an eight-week window....one of those being my own.  There is only so much money to go around!

7) Do you ever send a gift AFTER the wedding, and base the amount you spend on how nice the wedding was?

No.......the presents are all the same, and given at the time of the reception.

8) If you can't go to the wedding, do you send a gift or card anyway?

Yes.  We always send the same amount.  We will either send the gift with someone who is attending the ceremony/reception, or we will mail the card/gift to the couple. 

9) If you can't attend a wedding, do you send a nicer gift than you would give if you could attend? Or not as nice?

The gift amount would still be the same as if we were attending.

Having answered all these questions, I will tell you, I am from rural Missouri.....if that makes any difference to see where my answers are coming from!!!!  Very interesting post, btw.


Daisypath Ticker 

Reply


ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: A couple questions about wedding gift-giving
Posted: May 13, 2008 2:33 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Yeah, I think getting someone a restaurant gift certificate is nice, and I don't really consider that situation to be a wedding gift. It's a GIFT that you're getting for whoever you get it for, and doesn't really have anything to do with the wedding.

I just thought it was weird that we received extra gifts from two couples who had already given us nice gifts. And they were both sent immediately after the wedding (one was one of those UPS notes on our door, the other came the day after we got back from our honeymoon). And both came with a card congratulating us. I almost wanted to call both couples and say, 'Erm, did you forget that you already sent us something?' since each was a stand-alone wedding gift.

I can't figure out why they sent another one - maybe it has nothing to do with how nice the wedding was or that they had a good time. I just thought it was a little odd, so I was asking whether anybody else had heard of anything like it.


DaisypathWedding Ticker

I like the flowers, so I'm keeping my useless ticker. Just married, 4/26/08!

Reply


nanette927 Posts : 1,748 Registered: 1/28/08
Re: A couple questions about wedding gift-giving
Posted: May 13, 2008 2:46 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

Okay. I normally give what I can and it also depends on who's wedding it is and how close I am to them.

okay now help me. PLEASE! This past weekend 2 of my sisters were asking me if we had registerd. I said "yes". They both asked me "why". I said "because that's what you do." They both said "you guys are too old for that and you shouldn't expect alot of gifts since you both already live together and have a full house of stuff".

Cry  I mean.. hey! His stuff is mixed with my stuff and we were going to take this oppertunity to match everything. We just re-modled the inside of the house. I told my sisters that my MOH thought maybe we should do a honeymoon registry. They both said " Then that's telling everyone they HAVE TO GIVE YOU MONEY." Okay I'm lost..I thought you give what you can to the new couple and maybe something they would want and like. Or Damn! give a freaking gift card to a resturant or something. Am I Right??    


NANETTE' & JAMES

 TO BE UNITIED AS ONE SEPTEMBER 27, 2008 

CUTE

 

Reply


myra Posts : 5,550 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: A couple questions about wedding gift-giving
Posted: May 13, 2008 2:48 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

I'm having trouble deciding on #6 right now. I live in So. Cal., my brother in NY, and his daughter is getting married in Maine in a few months. When my daughter got married here in So. Cal., my brother, his wife, and two grown children were supposed to attend. At the last moment, he became seriously ill and none of them attended. He sent a nice check (from all of them, even though his children were adults and invited separately)--but did not spend anything on air fare, hotels, etc. When my DH and I go to Maine, it will (quite literally) cost us thousands--we need to take two flights each way, plus rent a car and drive 150 miles from the airport. So, should I give a check in the same amount as was given to my daughter, or cut back somewhat (still giving a generous check) to cover my expenses? By the way, my daughter and her husband will give their own gift. I'm still deciding.

myra at www.classysassyweddings.com

myra at www.classysassyweddings.com

Reply

futureMrsD Posts : 155 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: A couple questions about wedding gift-giving
Posted: May 13, 2008 2:55 PM Go to message in response to: seadreamer

I never give cash or checks, or gift cards.  I always buy a gift.  I never buy off the registry, and I never include a reciept or any clue on where the gift came from so it can't be returned.

 

Hi, Seadreamer... I'm so curious about this.  Can I ask why you do this

?  Isn't the registry so that the couple doesn't get a bunch of things they don't like or need?  It just seems that it would be hard to pick out a gift that would suit both people in the couple and that they would be sure to like.  Otherwise your gift may just end up on a shelf in their basement! 

 

No offense meant;  just curious. 


Message was edited by: futureMrsD

Reply


nanette927 Posts : 1,748 Registered: 1/28/08
Re: A couple questions about wedding gift-giving
Posted: May 13, 2008 2:57 PM Go to message in response to: myra

myra: Well he is your bother and it really wasn't his fault he couldn't attend. His kids should have made an attempt to come to her wedding. After all it's not cheap to have a guest a wedding. But I would send the check and let him know it's just too costly at this time to travel. And let your daughter decide if she should do the same.   

NANETTE' & JAMES

 TO BE UNITIED AS ONE SEPTEMBER 27, 2008 

CUTE

 

Reply
RSS

Thank You
for Signing Up!

Check your e-mail inbox for the latest updates from brides.com

Give a Subscription to Brides Magazine as a Gift
Subscribe to Brides magazine