Homewreckers...Beware!!

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BoysMissLady Posts : 932 Registered: 1/18/07
Re: Homewreckers...Beware!!
Posted: May 8, 2008 2:34 PM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

No, I'm not putting all the blame on her.  But I'm saying he is seemingly happily remarried...he and his current wife (b/c she had to have known about it) have worked whatever issues out.  And it never had to be brought up.  She could have written that book w/o this incident.  She certainly didn't have to reveal his name and position.
Kiss 

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SammiAnn Posts : 114 Registered: 3/4/08
Re: Homewreckers...Beware!!
Posted: May 8, 2008 2:38 PM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

That's just it--she's trying to drum up book sales...and it's working because I saw on the news that they are selling out like hotcakes!

I'm just hate it because she is glorifying affairs, making it sound ok to do it...that's my problem with it.  And yes, the guy DID do it too...but it really wasn't necessary of Barbara to throw it all back out there.

As for this being an issue that isn't important and there's more important things to talk about...have you seen the other threads that people post about some of the dumbest things??  I mean, at least this pertains to something (an affair) that could possibly happen to any one of us....and heck, there may be some on these boards that are/have been the "other woman".  Maybe they can shed some light on this.


June 7, 2008...here I come!

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Pamlin Posts : 958 Registered: 10/26/06
Re: Homewreckers...Beware!!
Posted: May 8, 2008 3:55 PM Go to message in response to: myra

I'm with Myra on this.  Who cares? 

I really have issues with calling women "homewreckers" when the guy is the one who "wrecked" his own home.  All he had to say is No, and there wouldn't be a problem.  Same thing for women who cheat on their husbands.  THEY are the ones who said the vows, not the "other person."  The "other person" isn't breaking any vows made to the spouse.


Pamlin

The wedding will be lovely, but it's the next day and every day after that makes me truly excited.

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Homewreckers...Beware!!
Posted: May 8, 2008 4:07 PM Go to message in response to: Pamlin

Ditto what Pamlin said. While the 'other woman' or 'other man' is certainly wrong for getting involved with someone who is married, the 'other person' has broken no vows. It's the married person who should be labeled the 'homewrecker.'

DaisypathWedding Ticker

I like the flowers, so I'm keeping my useless ticker. Just married, 4/26/08!

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MrsJunebug Posts : 333 Registered: 1/11/07
Re: Homewreckers...Beware!!
Posted: May 8, 2008 4:13 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

Isn't it interesting that the "other" is always labeled the homewrecker?  It makes it sound like they prey on married people and coerce them into betraying their family.  I agree the cheating spouse is the true homewrecker.

Anyway, FH and I think Barbara was desperate to increase her ratings.  What has she done lately?  Nobody talks about her anymore.  It's kind of similar to Brittany shaving her head.  Only Barbara decided to humiliate other people in her publicity stunt.

Barbara has no class in my opinion.  Was it not bad enough that she had the affair in the first place?  Now she has to advertise it too.  I'm sure the guy's family had to deal with the affair after it happened and now she's making them deal with it again after several decades.  Tramp!

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NJ4Life Posts : 3,358 Registered: 8/10/07
Re: Homewreckers...Beware!!
Posted: May 8, 2008 4:21 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

Ok ladies I am going to 'fess up here.  I once had a fling with a married man. I was like 21-22 and he was about 28. We met at work and would flirt and stuff. Then it kinda escalated and got out of hand. it lasted for a few months, not years or anything, and I Was the one who ended it. I regret it to this day, especially now that Im married and understand marriage more than I did when I was 22.

And that relates to what Artbride said b/c I would think, "well I personally dont have anything to lose in this situation, he's the one that does". And I rested easier. I think about that now and I get disgusted with myself and with him. He was only married for about a year at the time too, so that was even worse.

I truly believe that he would never again do that to his wife. I think it was one of those fluke things. He did tell me that he dated her for a long time and it was one of those "breakup or get married" sort of situations.  I'm not justifying any of it b/c to this day I still feel wretched about it. I know it was stupid of him AND me. But it just happened.

I do think that if the married person keeps it going thats even worse. I know what it's like to get caught up but someone has to realize how wrong it is and put an end to it b4 something even WORSE happens. Like the mistress ending up pregnant, or the wife finding out.

It is kinda weird that me at 22, had to end it and he didnt want to. Thats kinda gross.

So dont hate me girls.


Formerly Ama102707

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futuremrsmason Posts : 239 Registered: 3/21/08
Re: Homewreckers...Beware!!
Posted: May 8, 2008 4:25 PM Go to message in response to: BoysMissLady

yeah, it does take a married individual to play into this whole situation. However, what kind of sick man OR woman would intentionally or unintentionally begin allow a relationship to escalate to romance.

Yeah, the person already in a relationship is an ass.

But, the people who persue them? I'm sorry, but no. Wrong AND sick. What's wrong with them, that they can't find their own d@mn relationship that they have to take another's?

I don't care if it "just happened"; or, "one thing led to another" or whatever. It doesn't make it any less wrong.

What was it that AOTB said on another forum? "being drunk is no excuse?"
Regardless of whether you're drunk or not, there is no excuse to wrecking a home and established relationship because you don't have the decency to say no to a married/engaged man.
period.


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ChrissLady Posts : 1,352 Registered: 4/5/06
Re: Homewreckers...Beware!!
Posted: May 8, 2008 4:30 PM Go to message in response to: futuremrsmason

Some people aren't persuing married people.  It's the opposite.  Yeah, it still isn't a good excuse.  But as a young woman, if an older guy with means approaches you, and you feel you've got nothing to lose, most would go for it.  I've never had an affair with a married man, but it came close.  We worked together when I was in college, flirted, etc... He was the supervisor for one of the areas. Then the next summer he got married to a girl that work in the same department as he did.  I didn't even know they were engaged.  He approached me on numerous occasions, and at the time it was nice to feel wanted, but one day he tried to take it to far, and I stopped him.  He is still a flirt and I think he will always be a flirt, but hopefully he hasn't taken it farther with someone who is willing.

 

WWW.MYWEDDING.COM/CHRISTOPHERANDMONICA

 

 

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PALMETTOMOON Posts : 532 Registered: 4/25/07
Re: Homewreckers...Beware!!
Posted: May 8, 2008 4:32 PM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life

NJ-

I wouldn't hate you for it....because of how you have presented it to us today.  Yes, it was dreadfully wrong of you to have been involved with a married man.  But you have taken ownership of it as a mistake and are not trying to justify it now, or blame anyone else for your part in that choice....or worse, make money off of it.


www.mywedding.com/lizandkevin

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NJ4Life Posts : 3,358 Registered: 8/10/07
Re: Homewreckers...Beware!!
Posted: May 8, 2008 4:36 PM Go to message in response to: PALMETTOMOON

I didnt go out like hunting for a married man. When I first met him he didnt wear a wedding ring. He couldnt for the type of job he did. So for the first few weeks we would just flirt and flirt b/c I thought he was single.  Then someone mentioned his wife and I was like what?? But being 21 and not having a CLUE about life, I still talked to him and then it just got out of hand completely.

So while I think its stupid for a woman or man to stick around with a married person, I do understand HOW it can come about. Because I've been there. It doesnt justify it b/c its totally WRONG but I can just understand.


Formerly Ama102707

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futuremrsmason Posts : 239 Registered: 3/21/08
Re: Homewreckers...Beware!!
Posted: May 8, 2008 4:38 PM Go to message in response to: ChrissLady

maybe not originally pursuing married or engaged individuals, but after an offer from the other party, to virtually accept and to allow it to escalate and escape, an  individual IS pursuing something.

I was speaking from personal experience (never a pursue-ee). My Fiance's ex started trying to hang out with him more after we got together, as well as told others she was trying to get him back, and away, from me. GRRMOO!
I can understand how things can initially start. As a chronic flirt, I understand (although, where I come from, we call it 'friendly'). its when it continues that irks me. My bio dad was one of those guys who welcomed it, and it disgusts me.

To the pp, of course no one would hate you. I mean, sure, if you were still doing it, then there would be huge and widespread disapproval, but its in the past.
Cheers, and congratulations on your happy marriage!
hugs


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Message was edited by: futuremrsmason

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PALMETTOMOON Posts : 532 Registered: 4/25/07
Re: Homewreckers...Beware!!
Posted: May 8, 2008 4:44 PM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life

NJ-

And that's what makes you different from Barbara Walters...you realized that it was wrong because he was married, not because your career might be ruined.  And you've also not tried to place blame on the wife, like BW did...so you've handled your past much more maturely than a 70-something year old woman.


www.mywedding.com/lizandkevin

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NJ4Life Posts : 3,358 Registered: 8/10/07
Re: Homewreckers...Beware!!
Posted: May 8, 2008 4:47 PM Go to message in response to: PALMETTOMOON

woo hoo, go me!! Take that Barbara Wawa!!

Formerly Ama102707

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MissR Posts : 139 Registered: 7/17/06
Re: Homewreckers...Beware!!
Posted: May 8, 2008 4:51 PM Go to message in response to: Pamlin

Pamlin that is exactly what I was going to say!  Married men and women who have affairs wreck their own homes and nobody else should be blamed.  Single people who cheat with married people are obviously out to cause trouble.  I really don't care about Barbara Walter's book or the affair, it's her business, she lived through it, she can tell her story to whomever she wants.

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MissR Posts : 139 Registered: 7/17/06
Re: Homewreckers...Beware!!
Posted: May 8, 2008 4:57 PM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life

NJ by 21 shouldn't you already know right from wrong?  I am not trying to cause drama but you still did something wrong.  You had an affair with a married man, that could have turned out really badly, especially for his wife if she had found out.  It's good you ended it but still, there is no excuse for cheating.

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