It's been a year and I'm STILL ashamed of my e-ring

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stfballplayer7 Posts : 271 Registered: 3/17/08
Re: It's been a year and I'm STILL ashamed of my e-ring
Posted: Apr 27, 2008 11:37 AM Go to message in response to: futuremrsperry

I am sorry but i agree with everyone else... you are being a bit selfish. i know thast my FH has bought me a ring smaller than 1/3 carat and i could careless like the PP he seriously could have got me a ring out of the bubblegum machine and i would still be estatic. i know that he has bought me way bigger and expensive rings and other jewelry since then but i don't care. he has even made me agree that after we are done planning the wedding and have any kind of money left over he wants to buy me a bigger ring and i will be okay with that... it is how he feels and HE wants to do it not me. i always get good feedback on my ring and nobody cares that it isn't 1/3 carat let alone a 1carat or bigger, they just see that i love it and they feed off of that i mean i get AMAZING comments from everyone that  says something and they don't care how big it is they just feel happy for me because i am getting married and get to spend the rest of my lif with a man that i love no matter what end of story. so i hope that you will appreciate your ring more and make your FH feel better and not like the scum of the earth for not buying you that 1+carat diamond ring!
         

                                  THE FUTURE MRS. B.R. HERB  4/13/09

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MrsMcCain Posts : 580 Registered: 10/24/07
Re: It's been a year and I'm STILL ashamed of my e-ring
Posted: Apr 27, 2008 11:41 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

You are a spoiled little brat and truly pathetic if you "cry all the time" because of this little insignificant piece of drama in your life. GROW UP. If it is that important to you that you have a big ring then do your soon-to-be husband a favor and leave him and find someone who is rich, because it seems like that is what you care about. If you are so upset about this I can only imagine the other disappointments that you will have in life "oh we just bought a house and it isn't nearly as big as I would like. Oh my husband bought me a car but it was just a Ford Taurus not the BMW that I wanted" BOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: It's been a year and I'm STILL ashamed of my e-ring
Posted: Apr 27, 2008 11:44 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

All I wanted was for someone to make a big deal about my ring, and because our stupid society deems a 1 carat average, I get crapped on

You get back what you put out.  Your priorities are really out of whack. Honestly,if that's how you feel, why are you marrying your FH.  Be honest and find someone with the same priorities as you and let FH free to find someone who deserves him. 


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bostonterrierbr... Posts : 129 Registered: 11/8/06
Re: It's been a year and I'm STILL ashamed of my e-ring
Posted: Apr 27, 2008 11:51 AM Go to message in response to: MsDenuninani

I'm also going to vote troll on this one.

But in case you're not...when FH and I were talking about getting engaged he asked me to show him online what type of ring I wanted. I showed him a 1.5 ct princess cut solitaire, I always thought that's the only ring I would ever want. When he did end up proposing a few months later I literally didn't even look at the ring. FH actually got upset with me the next day because I still hadn't even looked at it, I was just so excited to be engaged I sort of shoved it on my finger as an afterthought. It turned out to be a 1 ct round solitaire from his great grandmothers engagement ring, and I've got to tell you that, while it wasn't my first choice, I will never want another ring. It means so much to him, and me, to have his family's diamond on my finger.

AND, just so you know, FH is a new teacher and really won't have the money to upgrade my ring for several years, so guess what? I'm upgrading it MYSELF. FH was perfectly happy to let me contribute some of my salary to fancy up my ring, and I was careful to assure him that the center stone would never be touched, I just wanted to add pave diamonds to the band around it.

Honestly, I literally can't imagine looking down at my ring during my proposal and having it ruined because the diamond was too small. That is beyond shallow. I didn't even look at the damn thing for almot 2 days afterwards until FH yelled at me to. It's about the commitment. Do you honestly think hounding FH about changing it when he knows he can't for a long time is getting you anywhere? Upgrade your own goddamn ring, get a fake set in real gold and wear it, or just shut the hell up in general.

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JEG Posts : 72 Registered: 8/27/07
Re: It's been a year and I'm STILL ashamed of my e-ring
Posted: Apr 27, 2008 12:30 PM Go to message in response to: bostonterrierbr...

I also have to agree that she's probably a troll, but as with the rest of you, I have to put my two cents in, just in case she's not.

My FH actually ended up proposing to me twice.... once without a ring, and then again when he had one.  He couldn't afford anything at the time, but wanted so much to ask me.  I didn't even hesitate to say yes because I love HIM not what he can give me.   Also, once he did give me a ring, it wasn't any kind of a "boulder", or even a diamond for that matter.  It's a sapphire, because he knows I think they're prettier.  He wasn't positive of the size on it, so he bought two, it cost him $45 for the TWO of them, so basically my ring cost $20!  I absolutely love it and wouldn't give it up for anything, because it came from him.  Point being, the ring doesn't matter!  Who it comes from and how you feel about them should be the only thing that does.

Oh, and, as for the whole stupid rule of the ring is supposed to be about 2 months pay????  What the hell kind of rule is that???  That's ridiculous.  My FH had a crappy job where he made $8.50 an hour.  Even at THAT job, he made enough that the two month rule would have meant spending about $2000 on a ring.  If you take into account his new, better job, two months would be $6000!  If he EVER spent that much money on one tiny little piece of jewelry for me, I would kick his butt!  Either amount!  $2000 would be enough to pay off a huge chunk of our debts, having one $2000 piece of jewelry on my finger would make me sick everytime I looked at it!


Message was edited by: JEG

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XYZ1 Posts : 367 Registered: 1/7/08
Re: It's been a year and I'm STILL ashamed of my e-ring
Posted: Apr 27, 2008 1:02 PM Go to message in response to: MsDenuninani

I completely second everything MsDenuninani said in her post, especially this part:

This has been dragging on you entirely too long, and it's really unfair to blame your fiance for not giving you a larger diamond when he did the best he could.  You are telling him that he's not good enough.  That is incredibly mean.  I know you feel bad about it. . .but it's not good enough.  You need to stop.

I could completely understand if you'd had the ring for a week and were still a bit bummed that it wasn't quite what you wanted.  But it's been a year. That is more than enough time for you to get over it.

I really think you need some therapy.  And I'm not saying that to be belittling or mean, I'm saying that because I think you could really benefit from sitting down with a licensed therapist and discussing why the fact that your beloved fiance went without food to buy you the highest-quality ring he could possibly afford isn't good enough for you unless the whole word is "making a big deal about your ring."  

I think you know that your feelings are selfish and that your priorities are out of whack if other peoples' reactions to your ring are more important than what your fiance went through to get it for you.  If you honestly can't stop feeling this way, therapy might be a good place to start putting your priorities back in order.

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Guest
Re: It's been a year and I'm STILL ashamed of my e-ring
Posted: Apr 27, 2008 1:03 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I do appreciate the comments that do not attack me.  When I get down about my ring not being what I expected I do try to think of how lucky I am to have my FH.  I don’t know why it matters so much to me, but sadly this does.

 

My FH is very important to me and we communicate our feelings to each other.  The problem is we both feel terrible, but there is nothing we can do to fix the problem and make it ok for both of us.  I have offered to buy my own enhancer, but he feels that it shows the world that he didn’t do a good enough job and doesn’t want me to get one.

 

For all the chicks that attack me and say that the ring doesn’t matter, why do you have one then?  If it truly didn’t matter why do you have a HUGE ring?  Is it really that hard to see that you might be a tiny bit shallow or god forbid an attention whore?  Oh honey, I love you no matter what you give me. Oh, what do I want in a ring?  I’ll take a 2+ carat ring, BUT deep down it doesn’t matter.  I just hope that one day I can be as genuine as you girls.

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luckykelleyk Posts : 113 Registered: 7/24/07
Re: It's been a year and I'm STILL ashamed of my e-ring
Posted: Apr 27, 2008 1:11 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

You say that you both feel terrible, and there is nothing you can do to change it. So why not try to change your attitude? Im sure that neither you or your FH want to be miserable, so try to count your blessings and realize that you could both be much happier if you appreciate what you do have. Are you two a young couple? If so, Im sure that when you get further along together in life you will be able to upgrade and get a fancier ring. Why dont you try to be positive and look forward to that day? You say that we are all happy because of our "boulders" but I think we are all happy because we have positive attitudes. A positive attitude will take you far in life...DaisypathWedding Ticker

                                    May 3rd, 2008!!!!! 
                    www.MyWedding.com/RogerandKelley 
Message was edited by: luckykelleyk

Message was edited by: luckykelleyk

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FinallyMrsS Posts : 1,035 Registered: 3/29/08
Re: It's been a year and I'm STILL ashamed of my e-ring
Posted: Apr 27, 2008 1:12 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

July: Have you thought about buying a simulated diamond? It is a man made diamond that looks exactly like the real deal. I just read an article about them. Apparently many celebs in hollywood are making the switch to the man made version. You wouldn't have to tell anyone that it was not a "Real" diamond and then you wont have to be ashamed. The article said the best quality of these diamonds run $150-$200 per carat. Why not look into that? If your man feels awful too maybe you guys get pitch in togehter to get a bigger one and you dont have to tell anyone you helped pay.

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krista210 Posts : 450 Registered: 7/14/07
Re: It's been a year and I'm STILL ashamed of my e-ring
Posted: Apr 27, 2008 1:17 PM Go to message in response to: FinallyMrsS

For all the chicks that attack me and say that the ring doesn’t matter, why do you have one then?  If it truly didn’t matter why do you have a HUGE ring?

I would bet good money that more girls on brides.com have rings like yours rather than "HUGE" rings. Mine is not huge - like I said before, I don't even know the carat weight. You can't expect us to sympathize with you on this one.


DaisypathWedding Ticker

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futuremrsmason Posts : 239 Registered: 3/21/08
Re: It's been a year and I'm STILL ashamed of my e-ring
Posted: Apr 27, 2008 1:21 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

"For all the chicks that attack me and say that the ring doesn’t matter, why do you have one then?"

I don't know... Because we have integrity to accept what our fiance gives us, without being a bitchy bridezilla about it?

"I'm sorry, honey. A ring doesn't matter to me. I'm taking it back."

why is it so important to you to have the thing  now. Buy the enhancer as your wedding band.

And, darling, from what I've personally read on here... I'm pretty sure that " hope" you have... is a false one.
Because, as obvious as it is, you STILL do not realize it is YOU who are the attention whore..

And the statement you just said to mock us, is pretty much you entire OP.


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stfballplayer7 Posts : 271 Registered: 3/17/08
Re: It's been a year and I'm STILL ashamed of my e-ring
Posted: Apr 27, 2008 1:22 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

my ring isn;t even a diamond and i still LOVE it. he feels bad sometimes and wants to buy me another but i won't let him and recently he pushed me over the edge and i just gave up... and told him after all the wedding and honetmoon is paid for he could buy another if he still felt that way. i don't even need a ring but it makes him fel better if i do. like when i get out of the shower sometimes he freaks out when i forget to put my ring back on right away or when i do the dishes (i hate wearing rings in water). it symbolizes to him that i will always be here for him and support him in everything that he does. the ring doesn't just mean things to the bride but to the groom as well. maybe you should try seeing things from a different point of view.

i too vote troll. sorry, but you are quite selfish... and you are the one who posted this AWFUL post what did you expect?... everyone to support you and your feelings of HATING your ring and putting your FH down? i'm sorry but people here will tell you how it is... no fake here... it's all real hun. the truth tends to hurt. just accept it.


         

                                  THE FUTURE MRS. B.R. HERB  4/13/09

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FallenAngel516 Posts : 7 Registered: 8/5/07
Re: It's been a year and I'm STILL ashamed of my e-ring
Posted: Apr 27, 2008 1:23 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I've read a lot of the other posts and thought I'd share my opinion.

The other girls are right, you should have known what your FH's financial situation was like when you decided to get engaged. I picked out my ring with my FH, and its 1/5 carat solitaire. Honestly, I couldn't be happier. I've never wanted a big fancy flashy ring, i just want to marry him. My ring was what we could afford in our situation, we're in college and don't have a lot of money.

My ring is a lot smaller than yours, and never once have I said to FH, I hate it I wanted a bigger ring. I think you're missing the point of being engaged and getting married. Does it really have to be about the size of your rock? Hell no. Yes, society does make it out like this, but honestly, its not. Who cares what other people think about the ring your FH bought for you? I don't and maybe you should take up this attitude.

Its not about what size your rock is, its not about what other people think. If you say you love him and want to marry him, the ring on your finger shouldnt matter- AT ALL! Its a symbol and thats it. A symbol of his LOVE for you...not a symbol of how much money either of you makes. Just because your ring is 1/3 carat doesnt mean he doesnt love you. it doesnt mean that you 2 shouldnt get married. If anything, him going without eating and sacrificing EVERYTHING for you to have a decent ring should say WAY more than the size of your ring.

I think you need to take a step back and realize how immature you're being about this. I'm 19 and I'm a hell of a lot more immature about this than you are.

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futuremrsperry Posts : 1,904 Registered: 4/23/06
Re: It's been a year and I'm STILL ashamed of my e-ring
Posted: Apr 27, 2008 1:25 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

JulyPeach let me answer your questions:

If ring doesn’t matter, why do you have one then?  I have one because my DH WANTED to give me one.  He was never required to give me a ring.  All he had to do was ask me.  If I walk around the house without my rings on, DH asks "why aren't you wearing your rings?"  The meaning behind the ring and it's from my DH are the reasons why I wear my ring.  I could care less about how big it is.  

why do you have a HUGE ring?  My ring is not "huge".  It's perfect for me.  According to DH you have to have "room to 'improve'".  He is planning to get me bigger stones as anniversary gifts later.  Nice of him to say but I honestly don't really care.  I don't wear a lot of jewelry, just my wedding set and earrings.  

The "attention whore" comment.  Where did that come from?? 

"I'll take a 2+ carat ring"  I think you are confusing real people with Hollywood and their golf ball size rocks.  In the real world, 2 carats are certainly NOT the norm.  For me anything above a 1 carat is just way too big.  

You really need to get off the obsession with rock size.  Just be happy! 

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luckykelleyk Posts : 113 Registered: 7/24/07
Re: It's been a year and I'm STILL ashamed of my e-ring
Posted: Apr 27, 2008 1:26 PM Go to message in response to: futuremrsmason

Most of us look at our engagement rings as sentimental tokens of love, we don't look at our rings and think carat wt! You can attack us all you want, clearly out of jealously, but no matter where you turn I don't think you will find anyone who will sympathize with your immature tantrum. Do you really want to be this miserable? 
DaisypathWedding Ticker

                                    May 3rd, 2008!!!!! 
                    www.MyWedding.com/RogerandKelley 

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