Young Bride & Groom Telling Parents

Online Users: 1,291 guest(s), 1 user(s). Replies: 9


TrustLove Posts : 73 Registered: 3/7/08
Young Bride & Groom Telling Parents
Posted: Apr 3, 2008 4:31 AM

My FH asked me to marry him about a month short of our one year anniversary. To date we have been together a little over 2 years and 2 months. So far a couple of our close friends and my FH's brother know, but we have not told either sides parents yet. By the time we get married July 29, 2010 (the day we met) we will have been together for 4 years and 6 months and will both be 21. I don't have my engagement ring yet but I do wear my promise ring that he got me on wedding finger. We are pretty sure his parents already know, but my parents on the other hand I think are completely clueless. They didn't get married till their mid/late 30 so I'm afraid that won't be thrilled when they find out. They really love my FH so hopefully it will all work out. To all the young brides out there how did you go about telling your families.

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SarahB0485 Posts : 4 Registered: 3/25/08
Re: Young Bride & Groom Telling Parents
Posted: Apr 4, 2008 2:42 AM Go to message in response to: TrustLove

I can't imagine not wanting to share this news with my parents. If you are worried that they will think you are too young it's likely you think so as well.

Sarah


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TrustLove Posts : 73 Registered: 3/7/08
Re: Young Bride & Groom Telling Parents
Posted: Apr 4, 2008 10:49 AM Go to message in response to: SarahB0485

I don't think I or my FH are too young to get married. My parents are really old-fashioned and I'm the only child, so it's more that  it will be hard for them to see their "little girl" get married and leave the house. They know how mature I am, and trust my decisions. My FH and I are just trying to figure out when would be the perfect time to tell them.

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Guest
Re: Young Bride & Groom Telling Parents
Posted: Apr 4, 2008 11:11 AM Go to message in response to: TrustLove

Hi TrustLove,

Honesty is always the best policy! Since other people already know about your engagement, I think it's best to tell your parents as soon as possible before they find out from someone else or accidentally. How about inviting them to meet you both out for dinner & announcing the good news then? Another option (since you don't have your ring yet) would be for FH to ask your father for his blessing, then announce it officially when you get your ring. If they have a good relationship with FH, it will all work out fine. Congratulations & Happy Planning!



Message was edited by: SweetMelissa77

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EveT2007 Posts : 1,949 Registered: 8/31/06
Re: Young Bride & Groom Telling Parents
Posted: Apr 4, 2008 11:16 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

Hi, TrustLove --  You wrote "They know how mature I am, and trust my decisions."  Well, one mark of maturity is being able to be honest and open with people even when you have something to tell them that they may not want to hear.  A mature woman (or man) is willing to live with the idea of someone -- even parents -- being upset over a decision they don't agree with.

There is a reason for the tradition of the man asking the woman's father for permission to marry her.  Of course in some generations and some cultures it's blown out of proportion, indicating that the father "owns" the daughter and has to "give" her to the groom.  But the principle of having the would-be groom take the initiative, and having the parents in on the plans, is basically a very healthy one. 


"When Women Vote, We All Win!"

EveT

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TrustLove Posts : 73 Registered: 3/7/08
Re: Young Bride & Groom Telling Parents
Posted: Apr 4, 2008 12:19 PM Go to message in response to: EveT2007

I think you have it all wrong it's not that I am trying to hide anything or not be honest with my parents. And if they end up being upset with it (which I doubt) , that will be sad but in the end it is my life and I need to do what makes me happy. My FH and I decided we were not going to tell my parents until he got me the engagement ring, which should be pretty soon. My question was what other peoples experiences were with telling their parents.

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EveT2007 Posts : 1,949 Registered: 8/31/06
Re: Young Bride & Groom Telling Parents
Posted: Apr 4, 2008 12:31 PM Go to message in response to: TrustLove

OK, here's what we did.  My parents live (far from each other) on the opposite side of the country from us.  We took a trip to visit them so that they could meet my "new friend" (with the unannounced purpose of telling them about our plans). 

When we got together at my mother's place, my then-FH took her and me aside and said, "We have something to tell you. I love your daughter very much, and with your blessing we would like to get married next year."  She was thrilled, started to cry, and asked us if she could announce it to the rest of the family members present -- of course we said yes! 

Then when we visited my dad we took him out to lunch and my then-FH made the same speech.  Dad was more low-key: "Whenever you're ready is fine with me."  He then announced it to the remaining family members when we got together for dinner the following evening.


"When Women Vote, We All Win!"

EveT

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coastiebride Posts : 1,365 Registered: 3/26/07
Re: Young Bride & Groom Telling Parents
Posted: Apr 4, 2008 12:47 PM Go to message in response to: TrustLove

be honest with your parents but if your FMIL or FFIl already know you might want to two step the process of him as least asking your parents. Word has a way to spread very very quickly! Even if he dosn;t have the ring yet he can still ask your parents! 

What my Fh did was we came home from seeing his side of the family on x-mas eve and i was all out of tampons and aunt flo came to town as we pulled into my parents driveway so we did our hugs and kisses and told my parents that i needed to leave real quick and run to CVS to go get tampons and ice cream and that gave him the time he needed to ask them. My mothers surprised me the most and apparently and jumped up and down for joy and my father told him that they would love to have him as a son. he later asked me on christmas day infront of my whole family! I would still be marring my Fh even if my parents didn;t approve but it meant the a lot to me if they did. They will relies that there little girl is growing up and they can either support you or not, thats their choice, but its your choice how you and you Fh handle this situation and many situations to come


 Lets not all get caught up in our wedding. Remember we should not only be planning for a our wedding but more so we should be planning for  our marriage. More so then fighting over shades of peach, tuxs, cake flavors and only god knows what else. Because the next morning it is over, guests are gone the flowers have died the cake well lets face it 1/2 of it was tossed out. Cinderella is still a maid, the limo is now a pumpkin And there is life to face ok after wild crazy monkey sex for 7 nights straight, lets not kid out selfs there are priorities After its all gone there's still bills to pay and a job to go back to

Going to the Chapel December 6th 2008

Love is a four-letter word spelled G-I-V-E

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nmtgirl Posts : 142 Registered: 2/12/07
Re: Young Bride & Groom Telling Parents
Posted: Apr 14, 2008 5:26 PM Go to message in response to: TrustLove

I am about 2 years older than you and was in close to the same situation. Just tell them and be honest with them. And remember that this is your decision, not theirs. Sometimes, as younger brides, we get so worried about disappointing our parents that we forget what we are telling them in the first place. Even if they don't approve, it's your reaction to their reaction that will matter most. The more respectful you are, the more they will realize you really are mature and know what you are doing! Good luck! It went well for us!

Ashley and Paul - June 2010


 

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FallenAngel516 Posts : 7 Registered: 8/5/07
Re: Young Bride & Groom Telling Parents
Posted: Apr 14, 2008 8:44 PM Go to message in response to: TrustLove

FH and I decided last August that he would propose to me by the end of the year. I'm only 19, and he's 21, but we've been together for almost 5 years (next month!). He told his mom right away. But then again, he tells his mom just about everything. I was a little more unsure of how to tell my mom. my mom and my sister have always criticized my sister's friends who got married so young. He finally proposed on New Years Eve. I sat with the idea of how to tell my mom. About a week later, I just told her. I just came right out and said "Mom, Nate (FH) proposed to me." It was really hard, but she was happy. I pretty much just had to keep telling myself that I'm an adult now, and i pay my own bills and have my own apartment and take care of myself and that if she didn't like it, that would just be too bad for her. I didn't want to think that she would disapprove, but she's disapproved of everything thats had to do with a guy since i was 12.

I guess I would say, just tell them. It's better to just get it out there and know their reaction than to sit and think about how they're going to react. I'm really glad I told my mom, even if I didn't know how she was going to react. Honestly, as long as you and your FH are in love and are happy, it shouldn't matter. I don't think you have to be all that worried if they really love your FH. Good luck! :)

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