Mother's dress etiquette??

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LizS Posts : 1,982 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: Mother's dress etiquette??
Posted: Mar 24, 2008 10:37 AM Go to message in response to: Brooke051609

It seems like she is making enough changes to the dress that people will not realize it is her wedding dress.  I would probably just let it be.  And chances of you being the only one in white (or ivory) is probably slim to none.  I wouldn't let it bother you.  People know you are the bride and all eyes will be on you.

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thebigcheese Posts : 155 Registered: 4/2/07
Re: Mother's dress etiquette??
Posted: Mar 24, 2008 4:25 PM Go to message in response to: Brooke051609

I think the bride being the only one in white is one of those traditions that is outdated and silly and should die off.  I've been to a few weddings where the MOB or the MOG wore white.  They looked lovely, and they were not trying to steal the bride's thunder.

I think all the bridecentrism associated with weddings is nauseating.  The groom doesn't expect to be the only man wearing black, does he? In fact, most people would probably think it was completely unreasonable to expect all other guests to avoid wearing black.

No one is going to confuse her with you, especially since it sounds like she will be altering the dress so that it doesn't look so much like a traditional wedding dress.  I think an article of clothing is a really silly thing to pick a fight over, in the grand scheme of things.  Just let it go, and take comfort in the fact that if she ends up looking ridiculous, that will reflect poorly on her and not you.

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Mother's dress etiquette??
Posted: Mar 24, 2008 7:15 PM Go to message in response to: thebigcheese

Dear Cheese,

"I think all the bridecentrism associated with weddings is nauseating.  The groom doesn't expect to be the only man wearing black, does he? In fact, most people would probably think it was completely unreasonable to expect all other guests to avoid wearing black."

Well, there's a practical reason for that.

Traditionally, men go to formal occasions dressed pretty much the same, in masculine-looking dark formal wear.

By contrast, the women therefore look more feminine in flowing, bright colored dresses, all different. It's part of what makes men look like men and women look like women. The men at a formal occasion are a neutral backdrop for the women. (Conjure up a mental image of Fred Astaire dancing in a cutaway jacket and Ginger Rogers dancing in a long, flowing, gorgeous red gown. No "uni-sex" clothes here! Nope, he's a man and she's a woman.)

So, with this mix of colors and styles on the women at a wedding, we set aside the color of white for the bride.

I don't have a problem with that. It's part of our cultural memory.

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weddinworries Posts : 124 Registered: 5/28/07
Re: Mother's dress etiquette??
Posted: Mar 24, 2008 9:45 PM Go to message in response to: thebigcheese

"I think the bride being the only one in white is one of those traditions that is outdated and silly and should die off. "

Last summer I watched some Glamour special on top 10 do's and don'ts for weddings.

One tip was don't get drunk at your wedding.  Nothing worse than a drunk bride. 

Another was, do NOT wear white or ivory if you're a guest at a wedding.  I think black was actually okay.  I specifically remember seeing shots of guests in white and ivory dresses with their faces disguised so they couldn't be recognized, like the "don'ts" in their magazine.   

So I don't think this is an outdated rule. 

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Re: Mother's dress etiquette??
Posted: Mar 24, 2008 9:56 PM Go to message in response to: Brooke051609

if she is doing all these alterations to her wedding dress, maybe she would okay with dying it another color, like light pink or something...?

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Mother's dress etiquette??
Posted: Mar 25, 2008 10:41 AM Go to message in response to: weddinworries

Dear WW,

"Another was, do NOT wear white or ivory if you're a guest at a wedding.  I think black was actually okay. "

I don't think black is OK.

There are some people who are totally comfortable wearing black to a wedding, and do so. There are brides who put their bridesmaids in black, and see it as a sophisticated, urbane color. More power to 'em.

Well.... Not me. I have plenty of colored clothes in my closet and would not be comfortable wearing black (or white for that matter) to a wedding. I'd just as soon wear lavender or pastel pink.

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MrsBrock2008 Posts : 101 Registered: 10/9/06
Re: Mother's dress etiquette??
Posted: Mar 25, 2008 10:52 AM Go to message in response to: Brooke051609

Brooke, all I have to say is PLEASEEEE post a picture after the wedding.  I guess I'm from the old schoo where only the bride wears ivory or white. 

C James Laughing

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futuremrsperry Posts : 1,904 Registered: 4/23/06
Re: Mother's dress etiquette??
Posted: Mar 25, 2008 11:35 AM Go to message in response to: Brooke051609

She shouldn't wear white to your wedding.  I would kindly ask her to find something else to wear.

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