FMIL needs a better bra!

Online Users: 1,323 guest(s), 1 user(s). Replies: 22


MrsRicecake Posts : 700 Registered: 2/2/08
FMIL needs a better bra!
Posted: Mar 21, 2008 5:01 PM

My FMIL has very large breasts and doesnt wear a good supportive bra...if she even wears one at all! I was thinking of getting her a Victoria's Secret gift card for her upcoming birthday, but I am afraid she will either be offended or not use it at all! This probably seems extremely rude but I am firm believer that every woman needs to invest in their bras and wear the right kind for the size of her girls!

Man I should just send her on What Not to Wear! She's an awful dresser too, but thats a different post!

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WharfHouseBride Posts : 514 Registered: 7/3/07
Re: FMIL needs a better bra!
Posted: Mar 21, 2008 5:07 PM Go to message in response to: MrsRicecake

This is a tricky one! Part of me thinks you should just let her be, but then another part of me thinks that you would probably being doing her back a favor if you got her into a good fitting bra. There's really no way to politely address her directly, but maybe you could ask her to come look at bridal undergarments? If she's very busty, Victoria's Secret won't have anything to fit her, but stores like Soma, Intimacy, even Nordstroms have a wide range of sizes and people on hand who are trained to measure and fit bras. Maybe you could offer to buy her something pretty? It is a potential etiquette minefield you're walking into. Good luck!

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Guest
Re: FMIL needs a better bra!
Posted: Mar 21, 2008 5:08 PM Go to message in response to: MrsRicecake

I think the card is an ok gift, as long as you don't hand it to her and tell her to go buy a bra that fits!


 Llama Jjammies

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CaribbeanBride08 Posts : 1,474 Registered: 6/13/07
Re: FMIL needs a better bra!
Posted: Mar 21, 2008 5:12 PM Go to message in response to: MrsRicecake

I don't think Victoria's Secret is the best option for someone with large breasts.  A nice department strore would probably have better options.

I'm kind of dumbstruck by your statement "if she even wears one at all!"  A woman with large ta tas should always wear a bra!!  As for how to bring this up to her, I really can't give you any advice since I don't know what kind of relationship you have with her.  If it's an open, honest relationship, then it shouldn't be a problem but only you know best!


 

Daisypath Ticker

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litlbit Posts : 192 Registered: 1/19/07
Re: FMIL needs a better bra!
Posted: Mar 21, 2008 5:16 PM Go to message in response to: MrsRicecake

Does she have any sisters or daughters who might be more comfortable mentioning it to her?

Beyond that, yeah the only suggestion would be a gift card.  Or Stacy and Clinton!  lol

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lori83 Posts : 1,852 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: FMIL needs a better bra!
Posted: Mar 21, 2008 5:16 PM Go to message in response to: MrsRicecake

That's a tough one. Would she even know what to do with a Victorias Secret gc? I know my daughter's mil wouldn't have a clue. lol.

My daughter works at Lane Bryant and has been trained to measure a woman for a bra. I had her take me a couple years ago and it was amazing how she knew exactly what I needed. Not just size wise but the cut of the bra too.

Sorry but I really don't know what to recommend for your fmil. Good luck!

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: FMIL needs a better bra!
Posted: Mar 21, 2008 5:18 PM Go to message in response to: MrsRicecake

Dear FMR,

You must not say a word. Telling another adult woman that her bra size is inappropriate is insulting. It is simply not your business.

I agree, a well-fitting bra is important. But what is important to one person is not important to another.

Leave it alone.

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Guest
Re: FMIL needs a better bra!
Posted: Mar 21, 2008 5:23 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

As a card-carrying member of the IBTC I had no idea VS didn't have a large range of sizes.  So I guess the gift card would be a bad idea.

 Llama Jjammies

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MrsRicecake Posts : 700 Registered: 2/2/08
Re: FMIL needs a better bra!
Posted: Mar 21, 2008 5:26 PM Go to message in response to: MrsRicecake

You see this is my problem! Some of you say "No leave it alone!" and some say that they would offer to buy her one when out shopping! And I agree with both! If she had a daughter, her youngest son could be considered one (he acts like a girl and she treats him like one!) this would be sooo much easier! I think I like the option of taking her with me to look at pretty night of the wedding lingerie! But Im still not sure! Shes an odd one and I really dont want to offend her! I know her husband would thank me. I just dont understand why he doesnt say something, he does to my fiance!

Anyways after reading your responses Im pretty sure I wont get her a gift card or say anything for a little while!

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WharfHouseBride Posts : 514 Registered: 7/3/07
Re: FMIL needs a better bra!
Posted: Mar 21, 2008 5:28 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

VS only carries up to DD, and even then in only a few styles. Most of their bras aren't built with serious support in mind. 

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: FMIL needs a better bra!
Posted: Mar 21, 2008 5:34 PM Go to message in response to: MrsRicecake

Dear FMR,

Let's put it this way. How would you feel if the situation was reversed?

"You need to drive a better car."

"If your tennis game doesn't improve, you should resign your membership here and join another club for less talented players."

"I noticed that your lawn needs trimming. Here's the name of a professional gardener. He'll do a better job than what you're doing now, yourself."

My response to all would be MYOB.

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EveT2007 Posts : 1,949 Registered: 8/31/06
Re: FMIL needs a better bra!
Posted: Mar 21, 2008 6:34 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Hi, I tend to agree with AOTB, MYOB.  However, I do hear ya.  I was just at a choir rehearsal with a woman director who I would guess is in the D range wearing a thin turtleneck and (obviously)no bra -- talk about distracting! 

If this was one of your BMs we were talking about, the subject of attire and foundation garments would probably come up as a matter of course.  But you could also choose not to ask a lady to be a BM if you didn't like the way she dresses.

You don't have that choice with your FMIL.  She is going to be related to you for many years, and any hurt feelings that happen in connection with the wedding could disrupt family harmony forever.  I would just let her be, unless she asks your advice -- and even then, give it in a friendly and tactful (oops, I almost said "supportive" -- wink wink   ) manner.


"When Women Vote, We All Win!"

EveT

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November22Bride Posts : 397 Registered: 1/8/08
Re: FMIL needs a better bra!
Posted: Mar 21, 2008 6:55 PM Go to message in response to: MrsRicecake

O man... I just realized that I’m in the same boat. My FMIL doesn’t wear one either or if she does it isn’t very good. Her boobs sag like you would not believe. I guess this is one more thing I need to add to my list of things to work out before the wedding…lol

DaisypathWedding Ticker

Wedding.png Wedding image by brooknjake

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Charlotte09 Posts : 1,021 Registered: 2/22/08
Re: FMIL needs a better bra!
Posted: Mar 21, 2008 7:28 PM Go to message in response to: November22Bride

I also do not like my FMIL's style. When it gets much closer to my wedding I am going to ask her if she wants to go shopping with me or browse the internet for her dress for the wedding. I know she will appreciate the help and enjoy looking with me. I think that is what is most important is that I am not being intrusive and that my help is welcomed. 

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HLYflute Posts : 1,282 Registered: 2/5/07
Re: FMIL needs a better bra!
Posted: Mar 21, 2008 8:10 PM Go to message in response to: MrsRicecake

Well... maybe you could offer to go shopping with her to find a dress for the wedding and go to a big department store, and then say, "Oh, well you'll probably want to get a good bra to go under this, right?  I heard they do fittings here!"  Maybe even say something about how you've never been fitted yourself and that you heard that 75% of women (or whatever the statistic is) wear the wrong size.  That might be a good way to approach it without offending her, since you're not really accusing her or anything... plus you'd be doing her a favor!

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