Deleting Post Bad Idea to Post : Wedding Planning %26 Etiquette : Forums : Brides

Wedding Planning & Etiquette

Deleting Post Bad Idea to Post

Online Users: 1,279 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 24

Steph8242008 Posts : 56 Registered: 12/27/06

Deleting Post Bad Idea to Post: Posted: Mar 21, 2008 3:55 PM; massachusetts , august_2008

email friend | report thread

Reply

kennysoldwife Posts : 3,862 Registered: 4/28/07

Re: Well the worst thing happened to me yesterday......: Posted: Mar 21, 2008 4:00 PM Go to message in response to: Steph8242008; I'm sorry I am confused. Where is she being a horrible friend?
She is letting you know in plenty of time that she can not be in your wedding. She is offering to give her stuff to whomever you get to replace her saving them both time and money,
How is that bad? Am I missing something?

Kenny and Me Perfect Together, 10 years and counting.

email friend | report thread

Reply

Love2u Posts : 1,661 Registered: 10/24/07

Re: Well the worst thing happened to me yesterday......: Posted: Mar 21, 2008 4:05 PM Go to message in response to: Steph8242008; Stephanie - I think your friend was being a good friend. She obviously has pressing stuff going on in her life and she was graciously letting you know that she had to step down.
Additionally, there are far, far worse things that can happen to you in your life than a BM stepping down from the wedding.
Hopefully you will reach out to her, accept her resignation gracefully, and let her know that this will in no way impact your friendship and that you wouldn't dream of not inviting her to the wedding.
Good luck to you.

Love2u

email friend | report thread

Reply

LizS Posts : 1,982 Registered: 3/30/06

Re: Well the worst thing happened to me yesterday......: Posted: Mar 21, 2008 4:07 PM Go to message in response to: Steph8242008; I don't think she was being horrible. I think she was just letting you know that she didn't have the time commitment she thought you expected of her as well as the finances. And, she did give you 5 months. Personally, I would have told her to just come to the rehearsal and wedding and I didn't need a gift. And if she needed help with shoes, the dress, alterations, etc. I would be more than happy to help. If you value her friendship you would have fought to have her stand up for your wedding. It sort of seems like you just let her go. None the less, I hope you will still invite her to your wedding and all the showers, etc. that happen before hand.
One of my BMs was almost not in my wedding because her dad was passing away from cancer. I never once was mad or upset. I was more concerned for her and her family because I knew how close they all were. I did not find out that she wasn't going to be in my wedding until the weekend before. It was only after her dad, mom and sister convinced her to come to my wedding that she decided 2 days before she would come. And I was glad to have her there. If she wasn't there, I would have missed her, but I would have understood.

email friend | report thread

Reply

Guest

Re: Well the worst thing happened to me yesterday......: Posted: Mar 21, 2008 4:08 PM Go to message in response to: Steph8242008; I don't see how she's being horrible. She has left you time to find a replacement and offered to give the replacement the dress and shoes.
I think her email was very heartfelt, and probably incredibly difficult for her to write.

Llama Jjammies

email friend | report thread

Reply

kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,593 Registered: 7/2/06

Re: Well the worst thing happened to me yesterday......: Posted: Mar 21, 2008 4:12 PM Go to message in response to: Steph8242008; Am I going blind or something because I dont SEE the actual email that she sent to you? LOL. Either way: your title made me think someone close to you had passed away or something. THATS the "worst thing" that could happen to you; not this. Yes; its a minor inconvenience; but like the others said; she gave you 5 months notice which is MORE THAN ENOUGH time to deal with a new situation; youve already found a replacement; and it looks like she handled it in a responsible mature way by emailing you to let you know. How is that a bad friend? Sounds like a good friend to me.:)
Time for BL5!!! And here come The OLD MARRIED FATTIES!!!!!
Stay tuned for The Aisle Runner's official website...LAUNCHING THIS APRIL!
GO YANKEES!!!

email friend | report thread

Reply

WharfHouseBride Posts : 514 Registered: 7/3/07

Re: Well the worst thing happened to me yesterday......: Posted: Mar 21, 2008 4:13 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley; I can't see the email either.

email friend | report thread

Reply

CaribbeanBride08 Posts : 1,474 Registered: 6/13/07

Re: Well the worst thing happened to me yesterday......: Posted: Mar 21, 2008 4:17 PM Go to message in response to: Steph8242008; Steph, why did you delete the actual email from your post? I read it and didn't respond and now I've come back and it's gone. What the heck is up with that? Without the actual email, you might as well just delete your entire post because it's not going to make sense to anyone else who reads it now.
If my memory serves me right, I don't think she was being a bad friend at all. She is being a realist knowing that she cannot devote her time, etc., and is backing down 5 months in advance AND donating her dress to the replacement. It's ashame it happened, yes, but it's really not the worst thing that can happen.

email friend | report thread

Reply

CaribbeanBride08 Posts : 1,474 Registered: 6/13/07

Re: Well the worst thing happened to me yesterday......: Posted: Mar 21, 2008 4:23 PM Go to message in response to: Steph8242008; Unbelievable. You get 5 or 6 people who tell you it's not the end of the world so you just delete the whole damn thing. Very mature.

email friend | report thread

Reply

Guest

Re: Well the worst thing happened to me yesterday......: Posted: Mar 21, 2008 4:25 PM Go to message in response to: CaribbeanBride08; Looks like she took your advice Caribbean, though I have no idea why.

Llama Jjammies

email friend | report thread

Reply

kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,593 Registered: 7/2/06

Re: Well the worst thing happened to me yesterday......: Posted: Mar 21, 2008 4:26 PM Go to message in response to: CaribbeanBride08; AAAARRRGGGHHHH. Oh grand. Yet another "Im deleting my entire post because I didnt get rainbow and star and smiley face responses" poster. WTH? I was really curious what the email SAID LOL. And noone even said anything mean at ALL to her; we just told her what we think!!! WHY ARE PEOPLE SO SUPERSENSITIVE!!!! Come back!! What did the email say? LOL.
Time for BL5!!! And here come The OLD MARRIED FATTIES!!!!!
Stay tuned for The Aisle Runner's official website...LAUNCHING THIS APRIL!
GO YANKEES!!!

email friend | report thread

Reply

CaribbeanBride08 Posts : 1,474 Registered: 6/13/07

Re: Well the worst thing happened to me yesterday......: Posted: Mar 21, 2008 4:28 PM Go to message in response to: Guest; I was hoping she'd take the mature route and put the email back in there instead of taking the obvious immature route like she did.

email friend | report thread

Reply

Guest

Re: Well the worst thing happened to me yesterday......: Posted: Mar 21, 2008 4:31 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley; Kelley, the gist of the email was that the friend was unable to meet the time and financial demands of being a BM. It was necessary for her to bow out of the wedding party to concentrate on her family and her own upcoming wedding. She offered her dress and shoes (if they fit) to the replacement BM. She apologized and wished the bride the best.

Llama Jjammies

email friend | report thread

Reply

Steph8242008 Posts : 56 Registered: 12/27/06

Re: Well the worst thing happened to me yesterday......: Posted: Mar 21, 2008 4:37 PM Go to message in response to: CaribbeanBride08; Well who is being immature now. I just thought it wasn't a good idea to bash my friend like that. I really thought about and decided to take it down. Regardless she made a commitment to me over a year ago now. Bashed my ideas over and over again. Destroyed my shower and bach party on me. Copied my wedding down to every last detail. Made my MOH's go at it several times. Made things very difficut for my moms by figthing with them every step of the way on various things. Basically stressed me out to the point where i couldn't take it much longer. So with this said i hope everyone can understand why i did what i did.

email friend | report thread

Reply

08divabride Posts : 832 Registered: 11/17/07

Re: Well the worst thing happened to me yesterday......: Posted: Mar 21, 2008 4:47 PM Go to message in response to: Steph8242008; I'm late so I didn't read the e-mail before you took it down. But if she did all of those things to you, that should not be the "worst" thing, but the "best" thing that happened.

email friend | report thread

Reply

RSS

ceremony and reception decor

real wedding photos

wedding dresses

wedding cakes

Subscribe to Brides

Search

Join

To-Do: See what's next on your checklist
Community: Talk to Brides like you
Local: Find vendors in your area

Email

Idea of the Day

Your daily dose of wedding inspiration. Sent Monday thru Friday.
Weekly Newsletter

Better weddings start here. Our most popular email now includes to-dos based on your wedding date to help you stay organized, and local content to help you move from inspiration to action. Sent on Wednesdays.
Deals & Discounts

Receive money-saving offers and special deals from carefully selected sponsors (NOTE: Your email address will NOT be shared with any 3rd party). Sent on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Email Address

Wedding Date: MM/DD/YY

Wedding Location

App

WIN

Give a Subscription to Brides Magazine as a Gift

Find Local Vendors

From Florists to Photographers...

FIND

NEAR

are you a vendor? Click Here

Find your BRIDES wedding website below

Subscribe to Brides magazine

U.K.

Subscribe to a magazine:

Visit our sister sites:

© 2013 Condé Nast. All rights reserved
Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement (effective 3/21/12) and Privacy Policy (effective 3/21/12).
Your California Privacy Rights
The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with the prior written permission of Condé Nast.

Ad Choices