Need Wording Help?

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Chad Posts : 637 Registered: 10/3/06
Need Wording Help?
Posted: Mar 20, 2008 11:40 AM

I do this on another forum and it seems to be useful.  I'll make the offer here too.

I see a lot of "how do I word something?" questions. So I offer a hand. You could say I've done this a few thousand times. If you'll reply to this and answer the questions, I'll generate your correct invitation wording.

Let’s practice good internet safety by using fake last names and venue names. If you're not comfortable posting the info online, you can always email me: two guys in love at gmail dot com

Please do not skip questions. Substitute fake information instead. If a question doesn't apply, use N/A.


Note the following points before beginning:

--If you are unsure of the answers to any of the questions, you're not ready to generate wording.

--Remember, hosting and paying are NOT the same thing, see the explanation below the questions.

--If you/groom have different last names from hosts, please note it. If necessary, make up last names to illustrate the relationships of your situation.

--If the hosts are divorced, remarried, etc. please note it. Please also note a hosting relationship different than parent/child.


1. Hosts names?
2. Preferred name format? ("Mr. and Mrs. His Name" OR "Her and His Name")
3. Is the wedding in a Church or on consecrated ground?
4. Are you having a Nuptial Mass? Do you want it mentioned?
5. Are you a non-Christian religion? Which one?
6. Relationship of hosts to you/groom?
7. If groom’s parents are not hosting, do you want to list them as “son of...”?
8. Groom’s parents’ names?
9. Date AND Time
10. Ceremony Venue Name
11. Ceremony City, State
12. Is the reception in the same place?
13. If not, Reception Venue Name
14. Type of reception? (Dessert, Lunch, Hors d’oeuvres, Dinner)
15. Reception City, State
16. Will the reception (including cocktails) happen within an hour of the end of the ceremony? If no, list the time.
17. Do you need guests to choose a meal? (if no, skip 18 and 19)
18. Are you inviting children?
19. Is there a child's meal choice?
20. Are you doing A/B list?



Hosting vs paying... Now someone may do both jobs, as they did in the past, but they're separate jobs. Simply, hosting is a social obligation to care for the guests before and during the event. Paying is just forking out money. No one cares who paid, and bluntly, it's no one's business either. Invitations are not invoices. Hosts are listed, financiers are not.


If you have a question about other inserts (accommodations, at home cards, childcare, transportation, etc.) post and we'll work on those too.



Chad ~ 11.19.05

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HamiltonBride Posts : 140 Registered: 7/30/07
Re: Need Wording Help?
Posted: Apr 12, 2008 12:23 PM Go to message in response to: Chad


1. Hosts names? John and Jane Smith
2. Preferred name format? Same as above
3. Is the wedding in a Church or on consecrated ground? no
4. Are you having a Nuptial Mass? Do you want it mentioned? no
5. Are you a non-Christian religion? Which one? n/a
6. Relationship of hosts to you/groom? Bride’s parents, please note the brides last name is different from that of her parents, i.e. Susy Miller, also, please note that this is not because the bride has been previously married, she hasn’t.
7. If groom’s parents are not hosting, do you want to list them as “son of...”?  yes, please
8. Groom’s parents’ names? Peter and Mary Jones
9. Date AND Time: 3:30pm, Saturday, August 16, 2008
10. Ceremony Venue Name:  Reception Hall ~ Garden
11. Ceremony City, State: Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
12. Is the reception in the same place? yes
13. If not, Reception Venue Name: n/a
14. Type of reception? (Dessert, Lunch, Hors d’oeuvres, Dinner) Dinner and dancing
15. Reception City, State: same as above
16. Will the reception (including cocktails) happen within an hour of the end of the ceremony? If no, list the time. There will be an antipasto bar at 4pm and a receiving line at 5pm, dinner will start at 6pm.
17. Do you need guests to choose a meal? (if no, skip 18 and 19) no
18. Are you inviting children? no
19. Is there a child's meal choice? n/a
20. Are you doing A/B list? No

Chad, part of the reason I need your help is that my father’s side of the family is all Catholic. This in itself is not the problem; the problem is that our wedding timeline differs so greatly from what they are accustomed to. Typically the ceremony is held around noon at the church, no one but absolutely immediate family attends this. Later in the evening, after pictures there is a large reception elsewhere which everyone attends. We are having the ceremony and the reception in the same place and will be taking formal pictures before the ceremony begins. My father and I are concerned that his family will not know what time to show up and he would like the invitation to basically be an itinerary. I feel that there must be a more graceful way to communicate to our guests what to expect than with an itinerary, could you help? Thank you.

Reply


Chad Posts : 637 Registered: 10/3/06
Re: Need Wording Help?
Posted: Apr 18, 2008 8:06 AM Go to message in response to: HamiltonBride

Jane and John Smith

request the pleasure of your company
at the wedding of their daughter

Bride Middle Last
to
Groom Middle Last

son of
Mary and Peter Jones
Saturday, the sixteenth of August
two thousand eight
half after three o'clock

Reception Hall Name
Garden Name
Hamilton, Ontario

and afterwards at the reception

R.S.V.P. by the x of Month

If you'd like reasons for the wording used, ask for clarification.  Otherwise, just accept that the wording above is correct for your situation.

To figure your response date to plug in above and mailing date, you can use the textual representation at http://tinyurl.com/2dqqxy and a calendar or you can email me for a spreadsheet that does the calculations for you.  two guys in love at gmail dot com

You don't need a response card to get a headcount.  The wording above will do that for you.  However, if you feel you need a response card, delete the response request (last line) above and use...

R.S.V.P. by the x of Ymonth

M ____________________

_ accepts _ declines





There's no need for an itinerary.  People aren't always the sharpest tacks in the box, but they're rarely outright stupid.  There are 2 parts to a wedding... ceremony and reception.  The ceremony time is always listed.  The reception time is listed when it's more than an hour from the end of the ceremony.  All of those things you listed (antipasto bar, receiving line, etc) are parts of the reception.  You don't break down a reception anymore than you would the ceremony.  You'd never say "ceremony at 3:30, vows at 4:10"  It's not necessary.  It's not necessary with the reception either.

If people are confused, they will call someone and ask.  As long as your parents, his parents and the wedding party understand how things will go, guests have plenty of people to contact for clarification.


Chad ~ 11.19.05

Reply

HamiltonBride Posts : 140 Registered: 7/30/07
Re: Need Wording Help?
Posted: Apr 19, 2008 1:18 PM Go to message in response to: Chad

Thanks Chad!

I needed some outside support on this one. 

Reply


Chad Posts : 637 Registered: 10/3/06
Re: Need Wording Help?
Posted: Apr 19, 2008 9:19 PM Go to message in response to: HamiltonBride

No problem.  Glad to help.

Chad ~ 11.19.05

Reply

EveT2007 Posts : 1,949 Registered: 8/31/06
Re: Need Wording Help?
Posted: Apr 19, 2008 9:46 PM Go to message in response to: Chad

Hey, Chad, I'm curious whether you have any suggestions for the bride who was recently asking about wording on bookmark favors to indicate that the bride & groom are making a donation to a charity in lieu of more elaborate favors.

"When Women Vote, We All Win!"

EveT

Reply


Chad Posts : 637 Registered: 10/3/06
Re: Need Wording Help?
Posted: Apr 19, 2008 9:52 PM Go to message in response to: EveT2007

Ya know, sometimes simple is best.

"In lieu of favors, we're donating to Name of Charity."

Not my thing to announce charitable donations, but if I had to, that's how I'd do it.  Just boom and it's done.


Chad ~ 11.19.05

Reply

EveT2007 Posts : 1,949 Registered: 8/31/06
Re: Need Wording Help?
Posted: Apr 19, 2008 10:17 PM Go to message in response to: Chad

Thanks -- maybe she'll check this thread.

"When Women Vote, We All Win!"

EveT

Reply

Charlotte09 Posts : 1,021 Registered: 2/22/08
Re: Need Wording Help?
Posted: Apr 20, 2008 1:40 AM Go to message in response to: Chad

Just curious Chad, my parents have offered FH and I roughly $5,000 for the wedding, FMIL and FH's step-father are paying for the rehearsal dinner and also buying the attire for people on the grooms side of the family that are in the wedding (however we did not ask that of her we are having our attendants purchase their own attire but she offered that to them), and FFIL and Fh's step-mom offered to give us some money for our honeymoon or the wedding or a home purchase, but there is no set amount or location as to where that money will go. And then, FH and I will be paying $15,000 that was have budgeted for the wedding so we are actually paying for the majority. 


Okay, my question is how do you suggest wording the invitation? FH and I are contributing the most however all of our parents have offered to spend a rather large sum of money in one way shape or form but the amounts are not really equal. Should FH and I just put our names on the invitations? I do not think we will hurt anyones feelings by doing so, I just did not know the etiquette and am open to other options as well! 

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Chad Posts : 637 Registered: 10/3/06
Re: Need Wording Help?
Posted: Apr 20, 2008 3:59 PM Go to message in response to: Charlotte09

Hosting vs paying... Someone may do both jobs, as they did in the past, but they're separate jobs. Simply, hosting is a social obligation to care for the guests before and during the event. Paying is just forking out money. No one cares who paid, and bluntly, it's no one's business either. If The Today Show pays for your wedding, they aren't listed as hosts on the invitations. They just paid the bill. Invitations are not invoices. Hosts are listed, financiers are not.

So, who's hosting the wedding?


Chad ~ 11.19.05

Reply

Retired Posts : 808 Registered: 4/17/06
Re: Need Wording Help?
Posted: Apr 20, 2008 6:37 PM Go to message in response to: Chad

1. Hosts names? Sarah X and Austin Z.
2. Preferred name format? Her and His Name.
3. Is the wedding in a Church or on consecrated ground? No.
4. Are you having a Nuptial Mass? Do you want it mentioned? No/No.
5. Are you a non-Christian religion? Which one? No religion.
6. Relationship of hosts to you/groom? We are the hosts.
7. If groom’s parents are not hosting, do you want to list them as “son of...”? No.
8. Groom’s parents’ names? S Z and T Z. Divorced.
9. Date AND Time: July 9, 2008, 10:00am
10. Ceremony Venue Name: MAC.
11. Ceremony City, State: ML, FL.
12. Is the reception in the same place? Yes.
13. If not, Reception Venue Name. N/A
14. Type of reception? (Dessert, Lunch, Hors d’oeuvres, Dinner) Hors D'oeuvres.
15. Reception City, State: Same as above; ML, FL.
16. Will the reception (including cocktails) happen within an hour of the end of the ceremony? Yes.
17. Do you need guests to choose a meal? No.
18. Are you inviting children? N/A.
19. Is there a child's meal choice? N/A. 
20. Are you doing A/B list? No.

Reply


Chad Posts : 637 Registered: 10/3/06
Re: Need Wording Help?
Posted: Apr 20, 2008 7:39 PM Go to message in response to: Retired

The pleasure of your company is requested
at the wedding of

Sarah Middle Last
and
Austin Middle Last

Saturday, the ninth of July
two thousand eight
ten o'clock

Full Venue Name
Miami Lakes, Florida

and afterwards at the reception

R.S.V.P. by the x of Month


--no abbreviations, spell out names fully

To get a headcount, you don't need a response card. The wording above will get one for you. However, if you feel like you need to use a response card, delete the response request (last line) above and use...

R.S.V.P. by the x of Ymonth

M ____________________

_ accepts _ declines


To find your response and mailing dates, you can use the textual representation at http://tinyurl.com/2dqqxy and a calendar or you can email me for a spreadsheet that does the calculations for you.  two guys in love at gmail dot com


Chad ~ 11.19.05

Reply

Retired Posts : 808 Registered: 4/17/06
Re: Need Wording Help?
Posted: Apr 20, 2008 8:26 PM Go to message in response to: Chad

Just so you know, I did the abbreviations MAC and ML to keep from disclosing actual location info. Thank you greatly for the help.

Reply


Chad Posts : 637 Registered: 10/3/06
Re: Need Wording Help?
Posted: Apr 20, 2008 8:37 PM Go to message in response to: Retired

Just so you know, I did the abbreviations MAC and ML to keep from disclosing actual location info. Thank you greatly for the help.

That's fine.  My comments were just a reminder to actually spell out everything.  It's easy to abbreviate when we do it all the time.


Chad ~ 11.19.05

Reply

Retired Posts : 808 Registered: 4/17/06
Re: Need Wording Help?
Posted: Apr 20, 2008 10:02 PM Go to message in response to: Chad

I do have another question, actually - I read on your Knot site you said the time of day (AM or PM) doesn't matter. How, then, do guests know what time the event is between evening and morning? Just curious.

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