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Am I looking at this in the wrong way????

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Soon2bMrsL898 Posts : 64 Registered: 7/15/07
Am I looking at this in the wrong way????
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 1:12 PM

Ok ladies this is kind of a question but also I really need to vent !!!Sorry if it’s too long.Let me just start from the beginning my Matron of Honor just got married last August I was a bridesmaid in her wedding and was there to see 1st hand how stressful playing a wedding could be, so I was pretty much prepared  for a lot of the issues I have came across. I have known her every since we were in Jr.High School which is about 12 years or so… we both had talked about our wedding before we even got engaged and was all up for helping each other…Now to me it seems like she is being a little selfish ..1st thing that happen was that when she got married they got an excellent price on rentals of table linen ..this was back in August 07 so once I got engaged (September 07) I asked her for the place where they rented from so I can call never asked for discount or anything just wanted to know name of place… well weeks went bye and she hadn’t give me the info so I asked again ..Where it was located and I will try to find info she was like I’m not sure..ok so after a month or so I guess gave up on getting the info and decided to look else where….Next….al yeah her husband and my FH are very good friends so at her wedding her farther in-law who catered there food mention that he wouldn’t mind doing ours since he knew my FH real well… well  so I called her and asked for the Father in-law number and she acted like she didn’t know it which I knew she did because he told us to just get it from her (bc the night of wedding we were all a little loaded and knew we would forget number)…I just left that one alone and let my FH get it from her husband…Now the next thing that happen is the one that has really hurt me and made me feel like she feels like she do not want us to use same people as her maybe because she do not want our wedding to be as nice as hers’ but what happen was she had a 3 tier round cake with fountain which was beautiful I asked her who did her cake I wanted a 3 tier square off set cake, so keep in mind it’s not like I’m trying to copy her or anything we both have different colors and styles of wedding ,well she did give me the lady number so I went and had a meeting with the lady to give her a picture of the cake and go over price, I was so surprise at what the lady told me when I told her that I was referred to her by my friend she advise me that my friend told her to “bust my head on the cost” slang term for saying over charge me for doing the cake. Ladies am I looking to deep into this. I want to say something but I’m not sure if I’m just stressed out and making something out of nothing?? Please help???


Message was edited by: Soon2bMrsL898

arkansas , august_2008
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marty08 Posts : 1,110 Registered: 7/1/07
Re: Am I looking at this in the wrong way????
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 1:25 PM Go to message in response to: Soon2bMrsL898

To me, it sounds like she has some serious issues!!  I would let her know that you know what she told the cake lady. I would be upfront and ask her what her problem really is!!...Not in a rude way.  Its seems like there are issues on her side and things aren't going to get any better unless you have a talk with her.

Is she helping you with anything??  Or being supportive??.


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SuezyQ Posts : 947 Registered: 8/4/06
Re: Am I looking at this in the wrong way????
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 1:27 PM Go to message in response to: Soon2bMrsL898

First let me say, I'm not sure what font your using, but your post is a little jumbled together and hard to read

I'm sorry your friend is acting this way, that really sucks.  I think you need to take her aside and talk to her.  Maybe you can take her to lunch or something, just the two of you  That's really the only way your going to figure out why she's asking like this.

Good luck!


 

Gearing up for BL5, this time it really is PERSONAL!!

The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever. ~The Notebook

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MrsWilliams2008 Posts : 1,431 Registered: 7/19/07
Re: Am I looking at this in the wrong way????
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 1:43 PM Go to message in response to: Soon2bMrsL898

not to be mean, but please make your font smaller and use punctuation. it's a bit hard to read your post.

secondly, from what I gather, your friend is being a total you know what. My best friend (MOH) is getting married in September and I can think of nothing better than to have somebody to share wedding plans and information with. She asks constantly about my plans and I'm an open book to her. Our wedding styles and colors are nothing alike either. I plan to give her ALL my stuff and all my contact numbers from my June wedding for her to decide if she wants to use it. Any advice she wants, she can have that too!

Some "friend" YOU have.


 http://www.theknot.com/ourwedding/RyAnne Stafford&RobertWilliams, Jr

                                 R&R: June 21, 2008

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Re: Am I looking at this in the wrong way????
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 2:00 PM Go to message in response to: Soon2bMrsL898

Punctuation is your friend, not this girl. 


 Llama Jjammies

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Soon2bMrsL898 Posts : 64 Registered: 7/15/07
Re: Am I looking at this in the wrong way????
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 2:01 PM Go to message in response to: marty08

Marty 08 yes she is throwing my bridal shower which is a whole other issuse...on that she acts as if she is unhappy with the entire bridal party she always have something bad to say about them..example the shower was to be a surprise to me she advise the girls that the money was do on 3/1... on 2/28 before she even called any of the girls she called me to complain that none of the girls has paid yet..(I was like what are you talking about and she told me just about everything about the shower...) all the girls work at the same place and was getting paid on the 29th she came to me as she has sent msg after msg and noone was replying to her so i called all them(which was all she had to do) and they all stated that they were paying on the 29th....now after she made such a big fuss about getting the money I collected the money on the 29th and here it is almost a week later and she has not even tried to come and get money.Then on top of all that on the invitations to the Bridal shower she put hostes by her I did send her a message and advise that I thought she should list it as her and the wedding party since they are also paying for it...I am so so stressed over all this I have a maid of honor who is my best friend and she and a few other bridesmaid are makin it easier because they just go with the flow..I think i'm going to sit down and have a talk with her this weekend...thanks so so so much for advice from all...

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LizS Posts : 1,982 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: Am I looking at this in the wrong way????
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 3:20 PM Go to message in response to: Soon2bMrsL898

Well, it sounds like your friend is a B&$%H and has some SERIOUS issues.  I would not call her a friend at this point.  Seems like she and her DH have their heads shoved up each others asses.  I know I for one am more than willing to share ANYTHING about our wedding with my friends and people I know.  Heck, even with people on here.  I mean, why does it matter?  It's not like you want the same things, just similar vendors that she had good experiences with.  It seems like you need to have a talk with her and possibly cut her from your wedding list invites if she continues.  Why would you want someone like that in your life?

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GlamBride08 Posts : 101 Registered: 8/22/07
Re: Am I looking at this in the wrong way????
Posted: Mar 6, 2008 3:48 PM Go to message in response to: Soon2bMrsL898

I'm so sorry you are having all this trouble with your "friend". I like PP have said, have friends getting married after I am and am more than willing to help them out with information. I can't understand why someone claiming to be your best friend would act the way you say. I think that the two of you need to have a serious chat about your friendship in general. Not just wedding related things. Again, I'm sorry you have to deal with the stress of planning a wedding and dealing with your "friend".

Good Luck with everything! 


The future Mrs. Skaggs

When is my wedding

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CinderEdna Posts : 14 Registered: 2/14/08
Re: Am I looking at this in the wrong way????
Posted: Mar 15, 2008 9:02 PM Go to message in response to: Soon2bMrsL898

 

It sounds to me like it's time to find a new maid of honor.

 

I Don't know what has happened since you first posted this, but you need to sit with her in person and ask her why she said that to the woman.

It is obvious that she is jealous of you for whatever reason. But if after your heart to heart she doesn't do a 180, you need to fire her and get another maid of honor fast.

I made the mistake in the past of hanging onto a friend--not a wedding but a big production--and it was horrible. Don't drag it out, if she's still doing things that are the opposite of loving, she's being an enemy and cut it off as soon as possible. 

 This is your wedding! You want it to have happy memories, don't settle for anything less than a maid of honor who wants the best for you.

 

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ArtBride Posts : 4,841 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Am I looking at this in the wrong way????
Posted: Mar 16, 2008 11:11 AM Go to message in response to: CinderEdna

I'd confront her about what the cake lady said. That is seriously WRONG. I'm happy to recommend my vendors to ANYONE - friend or not! 

DaisypathWedding Ticker

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Soon2bMrsL898 Posts : 64 Registered: 7/15/07
Re: Am I looking at this in the wrong way????
Posted: Mar 18, 2008 11:59 AM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

Hello Ladies so here’s the update I had a very long talk with my friend.. I told her all the things that to me looked as if she was not happy for me… and she finally admit that she was not trying to be mean but was going throw some tuff times with her new husband and she was a little jealous of me and FH because we seem to get along so well and have a wonderful relationship.. I explain to her that me and FH relationship has not always been perfect…We been together for 8 years so we have worked throw most of the tuff time but explain that we had them and no one can say that there is not more tuff times to come…When I told her about the cake issue she stated that she did say it and was very sorry, I explain how I felt like these are not things that friends do to each other. She has apologized for her actions and she called the entire bridal party and also apologized to them for being negative toward them. Since then everything seems to be a lot better, she has made a big change and is even paying for my cake…Thanks for all the advice. I love this board.

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CinderEdna Posts : 14 Registered: 2/14/08
Re: Am I looking at this in the wrong way????
Posted: Mar 18, 2008 12:15 PM Go to message in response to: Soon2bMrsL898

Hi,

 

You handled it really great! and so did she! Because she was big enough to admit that she was jealous, the two of you are now able to put it behind you and move on. Good for you!

Thanks for letting us know. 

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BoysMissLady Posts : 933 Registered: 1/18/07
Re: Am I looking at this in the wrong way????
Posted: Mar 18, 2008 12:30 PM Go to message in response to: Soon2bMrsL898

I'm glad the two of you were able to talk. 

But women, we have got to stop doing this kind of stuff to each other.


Kiss 

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CinderEdna Posts : 14 Registered: 2/14/08
Re: Am I looking at this in the wrong way????
Posted: Mar 18, 2008 12:33 PM Go to message in response to: BoysMissLady

"Women would rule the world - if only they'd stop bitchin' about each other." -Chris Rock

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