i'm probably going to sound pretty... PISSED OFF!!! another update...

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FALLbrideINLOVE Posts : 1,056 Registered: 3/30/07
Re: i'm probably going to sound pretty... PISSED OFF!!! another update...
Posted: Feb 26, 2008 9:34 AM Go to message in response to: Deletedhandle

it sounds like he is putting himself first.  he has wants, obviously, that he makes no bones about fulfilling.

 

he is not considering your feelings.

 

maybe he does have intentions of proposing someday but right now he is acting immature.   

 

this is the way he deals with something important to you.  make sure you take note because as long as you are going along with it this is the way he will most likely react in future circumstances. 

 

he ought to be taking you seriously.  if he has common sense he should pack up that video game, the damage has already been done whether he "explained" himself or not, focus on something productive, and then when you are engaged pull it back out!  he shouldn't be playing around when you are sincere about relative issues.   

 

i hope this doesn't come across down on your guy because i don't mean it like that.  nothing against him personally.  his behavior is what is childish.

 

i hope it works out for you. 



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Guest
Re: i'm probably going to sound pretty... PISSED OFF!!! another update...
Posted: Mar 9, 2008 2:28 PM Go to message in response to: FALLbrideINLOVE

I know its really frustrating when you just want to be engages already  and you feel like your guy isn't taking the initiative to get there but from my experience (dating FH for 8 years and living together for 3) it is best to just be patient. I gave my FH so much grief for the 3 years we were living together i am suprised he still asked me to marry him. and in the end i was freaking out about absolutely nothing. he took a very long time gettimg my ring because he pretty much picked it out piece by piece...first the stone which took him almost a year to find then the setting which took him another 6 months to decide on and while i was giving him all this grief he was putting together the most beautiful special ring i have ever seen in my life

so try to cut him so slack he may have something up his sleeve that you don't know about.

when i finally got the ring i felt like a real jerk 

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Angele Posts : 76 Registered: 8/15/07
Re: i'm probably going to sound pretty... PISSED OFF!!! another update...
Posted: Mar 11, 2008 6:40 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

yeah, but did your FH rub the fact in your face that you weren't yet engaged by buying tons of huge expensive guy toys? she shouldn't be waiting, she should be walking out on him. her guy is "taking the initiative" to go and out continually buy stuff for himself, after he told her that he was saving up. they kept christmas inexpensive, she moved in after he told her he wasn't comfortable proposing when they lived apart--basically, she's jumping through hoops for him and he's not doing a damn thing to reassure her except to parade more purchases before her eyes. she shouldn't cut him any slack, she needs to either give him hell or get the hell out. just my MHO :) 

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kroberts Posts : 443 Registered: 7/30/07
Re: i'm probably going to sound pretty... PISSED OFF!!! another update...
Posted: Mar 12, 2008 2:57 PM Go to message in response to: Angele

All I can say is talk to him. You already compromised by moving in when you didn't want to. By the way, where was the compromise? You moved in before you wanted to, and what did he give up in return? I would be pissed too. My FH completely surprised me with a ring. I love it, and I don't want to trade it, but for the first week I teased him about the size. A few months later, I really did get mad when he was talking about buying a truck. I asked, "How much can you afford per month?" Genuinely curious, not thinking about the price of my ring. "$1000" he said. A few moments later..."YOU CAN AFFORD TO GIVE UP $1000 A MONTH ON A USED TRUCK THAT YOU DON'T NEED AND WILL ONLY HAVE A FEW YEARS, BUT YOU CAN'T PROPSE TO ME WITH A RING WORTH MORE THAN $300 THAT I AM GOING TO HAVE FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES?!!!" He didn't get a flippin' truck, and I still have my ring. The next time your FH walks in the door with an expensive toy, have the conversation that I had, "You can spend x amount on a toy that will be outdated in a few years, but you can't spend x amount on something that symoblizes your willingness to spend our lives together?" If he's not willing to propose, he should know that you're not willing to live together. You 2 can still date, but you're done compromising.

"The best predictor of your future is your past." If you don't say something, he's going to continue to buy toys, and not a ring.

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