Help I hate my engegement ring!!

Online Users: 0 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 11
Guest
Help I hate my engegement ring!!
Posted: Feb 12, 2008 5:08 PM

Ok I know I sound like a brat. But can't stand my engagement ring. He gave me his mothers first one! Its very out of style. It has one small diamond and a very large thick band. The band is a tad bent and its very tarnished. I don't mind how simple the ring is. I've never wanted an expensive ring. I just don't like how thick and big the band is. I have always loved rings and the band is the most important part of a ring to me. I also have small hands the big band on my small hands looks funny. People look at my hand and say "How sweet", no one ever says its pretty! My best friend told me it was ugly! Also the diamond is very high in the setting and I don't like that either. Its too high for me and it cuts me.

His parents gave it to him to give to me years ago. His mom has told him that didn't have to use it, but he really wanted to. It means alot to him for me to have his mothers ring I know.  We talked about it before we got engaged that if we would make sure it was the ring we both wanted after we were engaged. Only problem is he hasn't even asked me if I like the ring!!

What do I do?? I really don't want to wear a ring on my hand for the rest of my life that I can't even stand!!

Please help me!!

Thanks,
Italia

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marty08 Posts : 1,110 Registered: 7/1/07
Re: Help I hate my engegement ring!!
Posted: Feb 12, 2008 5:21 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Can you post a picture?

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XYZ1 Posts : 367 Registered: 1/7/08
Re: Help I hate my engegement ring!!
Posted: Feb 12, 2008 9:14 PM Go to message in response to: marty08

Have you considered re-setting the diamond into a new band?  Any jeweler should be able to do that for you, and most  companies have a really nice selection of settings that you can choose from.  That way you could still keep part of your FH's mom's ring, but have it be more your style.

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DayzieBride Posts : 8 Registered: 9/27/07
Re: Help I hate my engegement ring!!
Posted: Feb 16, 2008 8:16 PM Go to message in response to: XYZ1

I think having the diamond reset on a new band is a great idea if your fh is up for it... I was initially surprised that my ring wasn't one big rock, because my fh is more materialistic than i am, my ring has three small diamonds instead, but i soon found out that the diamonds were from his grandfather's ring and I had an entirely new appreciation for the customization that went into my ring. it has the family history on a modern band and I couldn't imagine anything better! good luck, congrats on the engagement!

Amanda

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08divabride Posts : 831 Registered: 11/17/07
Re: Help I hate my engegement ring!!
Posted: Feb 17, 2008 10:01 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I think you should tell your fiance how you feel.  You don't want to start your marriage not being honest with him.  My mom always told me, it's not what you say, it's how you say it.  You may want to calm down first, and then gently let him know how you feel.  Then maybe suggest getting the diamond set in a new band to fit your personal style.  Good luck with your planning!

I will marry my Stinka on September 27, 2008!  The one I laugh with, live for, love!

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Guest
Re: Help I hate my engegement ring!!
Posted: Feb 20, 2008 11:33 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

I wouldn't tell him.  It will just cause more drama in the long run. 

As for not getting the "OMG YOUR RING IS AMAZING", I didn't get that either and it bugged me, but you know what is more important is if you love him and he treats you well.

I'll leave you with a quote I read that really hit home with me, and hopefully you.  "The moment you find fault with your ring, you find fault with your guy".  It really seems like he tried to do something special, and I don't feel he intended to hurt you.   The ring is such a small detail, and once you're married, if you choose you don't have to wear it anymore.

I hope this helped.


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RanAway2Maine Posts : 2,359 Registered: 1/27/08
Re: Help I hate my engegement ring!!
Posted: Feb 20, 2008 4:12 PM Go to message in response to: 08divabride

I TOTALLY agree with 08divabride! How long will you wait and not tell him how you honestly feel and keep it inside? Believe me, it will eat at you until you come clean!  Your FH should be your best friend and you should be able to talk about anything together. Your FH should understand and appreciate your honesty. Also, try putting yourself in his shoes. Wouldn't you want to know if your FH was displeased with a ring your Mom wanted you to give to him?  You should also think about working with the ring to tailor it more to your liking. Talk to your FH about it. Then you can both talk together about resolving the issue. Good Luck! 

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EveT2007 Posts : 1,949 Registered: 8/31/06
Re: Help I hate my engegement ring!!
Posted: Feb 20, 2008 4:30 PM Go to message in response to: RanAway2Maine

Hi, this is a tough question.  Although it certainly is important to be able to be honest with your FH, there are some things that are better left unsaid.  From the background you gave, it doesn't sound like your FH gave you his mother's ring because he's a cheapskate or because he just wanted "a ring" without the trouble of having to go out and choose something suited to your hand.  It sounds like there are good reasons for you having the ring, while there are also good reasons why the ring really isn't ideal for you.

How long have you had the ring?  If you've already lived with it for, say, 6 months and it is still eating at you, then it probably is time to broach the topic with your FH.  But could you live with it for some time -- say, until your 5th wedding anniversary, and then see about having it redesigned?  If you were still not pleased with it after that long, I would hope your then-DH andhis family would understand.


EveT

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Angele Posts : 76 Registered: 8/15/07
Re: Help I hate my engegement ring!!
Posted: Feb 21, 2008 9:05 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I've seen more than a handful of posts like this and my response is always the same. Do NOT be afraid to talk to your fiance. Tell him the truth. If you can't talk to him about a ring then what else can you not talk to him about? You're wearing it and your feelings should be taken into consideration. When people say, "suck it up and wear it with pride" it doesn't make you feel better. You came here to vent about it when you should have talked to your fiance. If you're going to marry the guy, be honest with him and yourself. Protecting his feelings is one thing, but as so many people are always saying for the other side of this argument (i.e. don't tell him, it's just a ring, a symbol of his love, yada yada yada...) You have a right to your opinion, the ring is not the marriage, and if you hate it, say so.

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Bride2BeN2009 Posts : 27 Registered: 1/4/08
Re: Help I hate my engegement ring!!
Posted: Feb 22, 2008 10:47 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

Maybe you could hint around about other rings you like...like if you see one you like, just say something about it. I wouldn't have the heart to tell him about not liking it bc it's just a ring, and I'd wear it just to make him happy, but then again, I love rings too and having one picked out just for me would make me feel special. Good luck

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MrsCole Posts : 9 Registered: 2/23/08
Re: Help I hate my engegement ring!!
Posted: Feb 25, 2008 2:45 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

I think you should tell him how you feel. If you trust him enough to marry him, then telling him you don't think his mothers ring is right for you shouldn't be that much of a problem. Just tell him what you told us, the band is too big, your hand is too small, the diamond cuts you..Simply: It's not your ring. Which is true. That rignt wasn't meant for your hand, and there's no harm in telling him that. Compromise with him. He likes that you have his mothers ring; offer to put it on a small chain and wear it around your neck or something. If you can't afford a new ring, then making alterations to that ring to make it fit better and look how you want shouldn't be too bad. The important thing is: Let him know how you feel.

::What love has brought together let no man (or mother-in-law) tear apart::

When is my wedding

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nmtgirl Posts : 142 Registered: 2/12/07
Re: Help I hate my engegement ring!!
Posted: Mar 21, 2008 6:41 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

Okay, so the first thing I have to say is the above quote about finding fault with your ring means you find fault with your guy? WHERE DID YOU FIND THAT LOAD OF BULL???? Come on!!! This is normal! You want to feel special while honoring his family at the same time, am I right? So, why don't you just tell him that? You can even have a really great time using the diamond in part of a new ring that you design together. Think of it as using the gems from the past to build a bright, shiny future together. How's that for a quote?

Ashley and Paul - June 2010

 

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