is it ok if. ..

Online Users: 0 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 13
Guest
is it ok if. ..
Posted: Sep 28, 2007 5:59 PM

is it ok to register and send out the little cards saying where we registered w/ our wedding announcements.  we're having a court wedding because of a horrible navy schedule. . .is it rude to still ask for gifts if theres no reception or formal ceremony?

~future mrs. simmons

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Pamlin Posts : 958 Registered: 10/26/06
Re: is it ok if. ..
Posted: Sep 28, 2007 6:04 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

In short form:  No you should not send registry information with wedding announcements.  It's considered the equivalent of shaking someone down for gifts.

Yes, it's rude to ask for gifts at all.  Gifts are given at the whim of the giver.  If they want to give you a gift, they'll ask you, your family or friends where you're registered.  If you're asked, you can tell them, but offering it is considered inappropriate.


Pamlin

The wedding will be lovely, but it's the next day and every day after that makes me truly excited.

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CaribbeanBride08 Posts : 1,474 Registered: 6/13/07
Re: is it ok if. ..
Posted: Sep 28, 2007 6:14 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

  Okay, I've posted before that I actually appreciated the registry info being in the invite I got from a friend who got married in July (there wasn't a bridal shower or anything like that).  HOWEVER, if that same friend weren't having a reception and included registry info, I would not have felt the same way.  To me, that's gift grabbing. 

My FH & I are still undecided about having a reception when we get back from our DW and for this very reason, we are not even registering at all. 

The way I see it is if I can't give a "party" for everyone after the ceremony, then I am certainly not going to expect to get gifts.

I may get totally blasted for writing this but this is my opinion. 


http://www.brides.com/weddingwebsite/tobiandbrian

 

 

Daisypath Ticker

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kennysoldwife Posts : 3,859 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: is it ok if. ..
Posted: Sep 28, 2007 7:46 PM Go to message in response to: CaribbeanBride08

I agree, just send the announcement

 


we belong togetherKiss

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EveT2007 Posts : 1,949 Registered: 8/31/06
Re: is it ok if. ..
Posted: Sep 28, 2007 7:48 PM Go to message in response to: CaribbeanBride08

I agree that it is not OK if you send out anything in writing about gifts or gift registry.  There will most likely be loved ones who will want to give you a gift when they learn that you've gotten married.  You can register at one or more stores of your choice, and let your parents and any other close relatives know so that if anyone asks, they can tell them where you're registered.  This would be the polite thing to do whether you send out announcements of your marriage or not. 

And, my understanding of etiquette is that it will still be the polite thing to do if you were having a reception or other wedding-related celebration.  If you know someone well enough to send them a wedding announcement or an invitation to a reception, then they will know you well enough to know whom to ask about any gift preferences -- or they can ask you directly: "We'd love to give you two a gift, what kinds of things do you need?"  Then you can tell them where you are registered.


EveT

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Guest
Re: is it ok if. ..
Posted: Nov 15, 2007 10:14 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

I have always seen the registry info go out with the announcements.  Maybe that's just where I'm from, but it's just accepted and expected.  People want to give you gifts and to help celebrate, so you may as well make it easier on them.  And help prevent a million and one phone calls and emails from caring friends and family asking where you registered!  I say go for it and send them anyway!  Everyone will understand why you are doing it the way you are!
Soon to be Mrs. Bullock!

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kimmymonkey Posts : 69 Registered: 8/17/07
Re: is it ok if. ..
Posted: Dec 8, 2007 8:23 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

At the end of the day, it's your choice - but I personally would be quite affronted to receive registry cards in that situation. It's not about "wedding etiquette" in particular, it's just about having good manners. To be honest, in general I find that it's only within North America that registries are viewed as normal - everywhere else they're seen as quite tacky and a gift-grabbing!

If people want to give you gifts, they will - but no couple should ever expect them as of right!


When is my wedding

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thebigcheese Posts : 155 Registered: 4/2/07
Re: is it ok if. ..
Posted: Dec 10, 2007 1:31 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

No, it's not okay.  If people want to buy you a gift, they will do so on their own or ask if you registered anywhere.

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FutureMrsRLee Posts : 64 Registered: 12/18/07
Re: is it ok if. ..
Posted: Dec 28, 2007 4:43 PM Go to message in response to: thebigcheese

Hello!  Ok, I am confused...........are yall saying that its okay to send out registry information with the wedding announcement or not?  I was planning on including my registry info out with my Save the Date cards via my wedding website.  Does anyone think that is inappropiate?

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Guest
Re: is it ok if. ..
Posted: Dec 28, 2007 4:53 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

It is NOT okay to send out registry information on anything you mail out...no save the dates, invitiations or announcements. The information can be given to parents, siblings or BM and passed by word of mouth OR you can include it on a wedding website and direct people there for more information. I'm including a card in my invites about the website and asking guests if they have access to it since it includes all information they might need for the wedding. 

Now I am not entirely certain about the bridal shower b/c you shouldn't be sending out the invitations anyways. BUT the whole idea of the shower is to shower you w/ gifts... so I would ASSUME that it would be okay to be included then, your guess is as good as mine


When is my wedding

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PALMETTOMOON Posts : 532 Registered: 4/25/07
Re: is it ok if. ..
Posted: Dec 28, 2007 4:53 PM Go to message in response to: FutureMrsRLee

Lee-

I did include a section on my website with registry information and a weblink to our lists.  That way, when people asked me where I was registered, I could send them to the website directly.  To me, it's all a matter of tact....you could include your website address on your save the dates, but not mention registry info specifically on the piece of mail.  To receive an invitation with a gift obligation included is tacky to me...but to have the registry information easily available to those who request it is quite helpful.


www.mywedding.com/lizandkevin

 

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MuffinB Posts : 778 Registered: 7/13/07
Re: is it ok if. ..
Posted: Dec 28, 2007 5:02 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

So, you're having a JOP wedding with no ceremony or reception and you want people to still send you gifts???

huh?

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08divabride Posts : 831 Registered: 11/17/07
Re: is it ok if. ..
Posted: Feb 10, 2008 11:37 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

I understand why you can't have a traditional wedding and reception at this time, but you can not expect gifts and have no type of celebration.  Maybe when your schedule allows, you can have reception.  Then you can register, but until then, it's just not appropriate.  Good luck with your planning!

I will marry my Stinka on September 27, 2008!  The one I laugh with, live for, love!

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PTGirl09 Posts : 141 Registered: 9/4/06
Re: is it ok if. ..
Posted: Feb 10, 2008 1:38 PM Go to message in response to: 08divabride

Bottom line: go ahead and register, some people will send you a gift, but they will have to find out by word of mouth.  It is never approriate by traditional etiquette to ask for gifts or include registry information even if guests are invited to the event.

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