& Guest question

Online Users: 0 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 16

BethM Posts : 33 Registered: 8/22/07
& Guest question
Posted: Feb 10, 2008 12:39 PM

Hi. We are paying for our wedding ourselves, and on a very limited budget. Do we have to include 'and guest' on the invitation when inviting a single person who is not dating anyone?

Thanks, Beth

Reply

PTGirl09 Posts : 141 Registered: 9/4/06
Re: & Guest question
Posted: Feb 10, 2008 1:29 PM Go to message in response to: BethM

No, you don't have to include a guest.  This is a nice guesture, but if your budget doesn't allow for it, it is not necessary.

Reply


kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: & Guest question
Posted: Feb 10, 2008 1:32 PM Go to message in response to: BethM

Hi Beth,

No, you definately do not have to invite "and guest" along with your single guest friends. The general rule is normally if someone is living together, engaged, or known to be in a serious relationship; then they should be invited as a couple. As for your single friends, on the outside and inside envelope, just write their name only. "Ms. Laura Smith" ... then on the RSVP card, try not to have it worded to where it asks "how many" are attending. Instead, you can have it say something like "We have reserved a seat in your name."

And then two boxes ... Will attend, Will not attend. If any of these people shouild call you and ask if they can bring someone, just tell them Im really sorry... but our space and budget are limited.

I hope it works out :)


See my Advice Column and Blogs at www.brideorama.com :)

 I'll have a FATTY SHMATTY PATTY: hold the FATTY!!!! BL4...This Time; It's Personal!!!

Reply


auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: & Guest question
Posted: Feb 10, 2008 4:52 PM Go to message in response to: BethM

Dear Beth,

No, you do not have to entertain your guests' guests.

It usual to invite married and engaged couples. ("No Ring No Bring"). Most people also include living-together couples, and same-sex couples in established relationships.

But there's nothing wrong with inviting a single person alone.

Reply

BethM Posts : 33 Registered: 8/22/07
Re: & Guest question
Posted: Feb 10, 2008 7:17 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Thanks for the reply's :)    One more related question we were just disagreeing on -- My fh has 3 girls from a prior marriage, 21 and 16 year old twins. One of the twins has a boyfriend, over a year now. If the other 2 do not by the time the wedding comes, should we allow them to bring a friend? FH thinks yes, only because they're his kids, but I say no, because it's an extra $75 out of our budget for them to bring a girlfriend with them. What are the thougths on this one? Thanks for the advice!

Beth

Reply

Kat78 Posts : 189 Registered: 2/9/08
Re: & Guest question
Posted: Feb 10, 2008 7:49 PM Go to message in response to: BethM

we are paying for our own wedding also and i said NO kids and NO dates if you aint married than i aint paying for you.. its costing us $130 a plate i dont want to pay for more than i need too


 When is my wedding

"say i love you today cuz tomorrow you may not have the chance"

Reply


auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: & Guest question
Posted: Feb 10, 2008 8:22 PM Go to message in response to: BethM

Dear Beth,

It's really up to you. The usual argument for inviting dates is for single people to not feel they are there alone, with no one to talk to.

(I personally think that's baloney, since part of the fun of weddings is meeting new people and getting to know them. But, I digress.)

In the case of your FH's daughters, I'd like to bet they will know almost everyone there and will be actively involved in conversation, dancing and other activities the whole time. The established boyfriend will know some of the people there, but "dates" would be downright bored.

I vote for only inviting the established boyfriend and urging the other two girls to come without a date.

Reply

cantw8 Posts : 91 Registered: 6/26/07
Re: & Guest question
Posted: Feb 11, 2008 8:17 AM Go to message in response to: BethM

You do not "HAVE" to write "and guest" if your budget does not allow.  My FH and I decided that if the person isn't married or engaged that they would have to come alone.  It all depends on your budget and what you feel comfortable paying for.

Reply

marty08 Posts : 1,110 Registered: 7/1/07
Re: & Guest question
Posted: Feb 11, 2008 9:55 AM Go to message in response to: BethM

Hi Beth,

We just gave out our invitations and I knew it was coming but have told people who have asked if they could bring a guest NO!!!!!...Personally, I find it rude that they ask....but just me...If the invitation doesn't say so-and-so and guest....well, you're not bringing one!!

FH has a daughter and yes, we are letting her bring her boyfriend. I would say the one daughter could bring her boyfriend but if the other two aren't with someone I would say no to their guests.

People don't realize how expensive it gets when everyone wants to bring someone!!


Reply


JayJ Posts : 1,080 Registered: 4/22/07
Re: & Guest question
Posted: Feb 11, 2008 10:09 AM Go to message in response to: BethM

do any of you have any good invite wordings that make it evident that you're not to bring a guest? what about kids?


                     www.MattAndJesy.com <3           http://llama.jjammies*

Reply


Bride2008 Posts : 3,058 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: & Guest question
Posted: Feb 11, 2008 10:11 AM Go to message in response to: BethM

Regular guests do not have to be included with a date. However, I think FH kids should be given the option. They may choose not to and it won't cost you anything. My sister is single, but I still plan to ask if she's like to bring a friend.

 

"I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." - Billy Crystal, When Harry met Sally 

Reply


Elle2010 Posts : 4 Registered: 2/11/08
Re: & Guest question
Posted: Feb 11, 2008 11:19 AM Go to message in response to: Bride2008

HI EVERYONE.

I am newly enagaged (last weekend) and also new to the Brides.com community. I know that this forum is not exactly talking about engagements but, I did not know how to start a new forum and this one seemed recent.

Here's my dilema: My fiance and I are looking to get engaged in Sept 2010. At first I was concerned that it was so far away but I want to finish nursng school and I should be done by that time. (Not to mention we need to save up more $ for this) :) Also, the more blogs I read about long engagements, the more comfortable I am with our decision.

I am super excited about being engaged and I can't wait to start planning. I want to celebrate my engagment, only I am wondering: Is it silly to have an engagement party in May 2008 if I don't plan on getting married until Sept 2010?

Reply

marty08 Posts : 1,110 Registered: 7/1/07
Re: & Guest question
Posted: Feb 11, 2008 11:33 AM Go to message in response to: JayJ

JayJ I found this site a while back which was very helpful!!

http://www.artisticaddressing.com/Etiquette.htm#INSIDE%20ENVELOPES


Reply


auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: & Guest question
Posted: Feb 11, 2008 12:10 PM Go to message in response to: JayJ

Dear JJ,

The "proper" way is to not anticipate bad behavior, in other words, you don't put any "No kids, no guests" note on the invitation.

Instead, you address the invitation to exactly the people you want to invite. Leave off the names of the kids, and don't put "and guest" in the address line.

Because people can be such morons, you'll have to be proactive in getting the message across. Watch your RSVP cards, and if you see any with "extra" numbers, phone and nip it in the bud.

"Hello, Susie? I noticed three people in your RSVP card. I'm confused, as we only invited you and Joe."

"We're bringing Junior."

"I'm sorry, but Junior is not invited. We are limited our guest list to adults. I'd love to see Junior, but at another time. Perhaps we can have a family dinner at our house after we return from our honeymoon."

If you know for a fact that one of your friends is in a stable, long-term relationship, and you do in fact want to invite that particular person, then phone and ask for the name and address.

"Hello, Jane? I'm making up my guest list for my wedding. You and Fred are still together, aren't you? I'd like to invite you both, so I'll need Fred's full name and address."

Finally, tell all your family, your FH's family and wedding party that kids and guests are not included, and let them spread the word, should someone ask.

"I can't wait for the wedding. I'm going to get a new dress for Baby Snooks so I can show her off."

"Say, I know for a fact that Jay does not want children attending. If you want to bring Baby Snooks, then you'll have to clear that with Jay."

Reply

BethM Posts : 33 Registered: 8/22/07
Re: & Guest question
Posted: Feb 12, 2008 9:19 AM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

You guys are the best! Thanks for all the replys. Another question about the "no kids" issue, we have 2 young daughters also, 5 and 2 years old. Obviously they are a part of the wedding. We also have a couple nieces and nephews that will be allowed to come because our brothers and sisters will not have sitters, since everyone will be at the wedding. And we don't mind them coming anyway to keep our little ones occupied. But we want to stop the kids at them. We have cousins and friends with kids that we don't want to include, thats about a total of 9 extra kids at least. I'm going to do as everyone suggested about the invites to not include kids, but how do I save face when the cousins and friends come without kids and see all these kids around?

Reply
RSS

Thank You
for Signing Up!

Check your e-mail inbox for the latest updates from brides.com

Give a Subscription to Brides Magazine as a Gift
Subscribe to Brides magazine