All I have to say is... SERIOUSLY?

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Re: All I have to say is... SERIOUSLY?
Posted: Jan 24, 2008 3:24 PM Go to message in response to: seadreamer

no, i apologized before she posted that other thread. and i only attacked her when she went on the friendly brides and started insulting the gril who wrote teh thread about something different.

and i only attacked her after she insulted my husband and my mothering abilities. and like her, i do not stand for that.

she attacked my family, and that's ok? i think not. but i attack her family, and suddenly i'm an evil bitch? again, no. and it's not your place to " shame" me. i apologized to her for goodness sake.

and honestly, i've done my part. so let it go.

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2009ToBeMrsV Posts : 256 Registered: 12/30/07
Re: All I have to say is... SERIOUSLY?
Posted: Jan 24, 2008 3:29 PM Go to message in response to: Iheartweddings

To be honest I have no read through every single page of this thread, just the first one. 

I think you are taking a step too far in saying you are stating an opinion respectfully.  For starters, you should NEVER let what another person on a message forum says get to you so bad that you feel the need to create a post to rant about how people on the forums are mean.  This is the internet, and it is like the saying "opinions are like a**holes, everyone has one".  You will never meet any of these people, so why get your panty's in a bunch?

Fact is, what people type on a forum can be perceived in any way the reader wants to take it.  Meaning the majority of the time someone is going to read another persons post and misconstrue what the person is truly trying to portray.  Think about what tone you are reading a persons response in your head, just because you read it that way doesn't mean the other person was typing it that way. 

I've seen a few people make the point that some people want to ask for an opinion and then get upset because everyone didn't tell them what they wanted to hear.  The truth does hurt sometimes, what would this world be if everyone went around sugar coating everything they said and not truly giving a person their honest opinion or constructive critisism.  While I don't believe name calling and such is ever necessary, or attacking ones personal life, it is ok to tell someone your true and honest opinion whether it is what they want to hear or not.  If you don't want to hear honest opinions, then don't ask.  Simple as that. 

If what someone else says hurts your feelings ignore them and let it roll off.  After all, when you turn off your computer and go back to reality what was said here should hold no bearing.  Take what advice you want and move on.  I agree a lot of people get upset because someone has an opposing opinion, but we are all mature adults here and should be able to handle differing opinions. 

If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen.  I've been on message forums for the last 8 years (ever since I bought my car, I've frequented one particular car related forum for 8 years, and their off topic section is titled "enter at your own risk").  This forum is the least of my concerns as I've yet to see someone out right attack another person, what I have seen are some people getting a little ticked at one persons opinion because they simply don't agree with it... now that is immaturity. 


___________________________________ 

Engaged: January 1, 2008
Getting Married: September 19, 2009

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Iheartweddings Posts : 645 Registered: 7/23/07
Re: All I have to say is... SERIOUSLY?
Posted: Jan 24, 2008 3:33 PM Go to message in response to: 2009ToBeMrsV

JLoveN: I understand you didn't read all of the threads, but if you had, you would see that this isn't about people getting their "feelings hurt". I was directly addressing those individuals who have been attacking people personally (involving families, size, morals, etc.) 

As I've stated a thousand times, I have thick skin and I appreciate some friendly debating, but it's hurtful to attack people. I realize this is the internet and things will be misconstrued. But we are all PEOPLE behind our computers and we should be respectful.  


When is my wedding

 

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July4thBride Posts : 381 Registered: 9/24/07
Re: All I have to say is... SERIOUSLY?
Posted: Jan 24, 2008 3:36 PM Go to message in response to: 2009ToBeMrsV

Oh, the attacks have happened, and this thread was originally about those. Not just disagreements of opinion, but the bashing and insults that have been happening lately on a multitude of threads. It got kind of misconstrued as a thread about reactions to advice and opinions, but that's not what it was actually about.

When is my wedding 

                07.04.08   

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2009ToBeMrsV Posts : 256 Registered: 12/30/07
Re: All I have to say is... SERIOUSLY?
Posted: Jan 24, 2008 3:39 PM Go to message in response to: Iheartweddings

I have skimmed back over some stuff, and as I stated in my response I don't believe name calling or personal attacks are ever necessary.  But I think a lot of attacks stem from differing opinions, why else would someone lash at out another person? 

And what I'm trying to say is let it roll off and move on, if people don't give the lasher outter (for lack of a better word) the joy of creating an all out fude with you then the lasher outter will move on and eat their words.  We all learned in elementary school "stick and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me".  Words that hurt come from people who are close to you, whose opinions you truly value, and whom you truly love and care for.  Not from someone on an internet message forum that you have never met and most likely never will meet.  The adult thing to do if someone unecessarily lashes out at you is to ignore them and not give them the satisfaction of getting a rile.  Part of the problem is that people take these message forums far too serious.

Like I said, take the opinions you want, and brush off the ones you don't like.


___________________________________ 

Engaged: January 1, 2008
Getting Married: September 19, 2009

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2009ToBeMrsV Posts : 256 Registered: 12/30/07
Re: All I have to say is... SERIOUSLY?
Posted: Jan 24, 2008 3:39 PM Go to message in response to: July4thBride

understandably so, and as I responded above a lot of those attacks I can gaurantee you stemmed from differing opinions or an opinion that someone else didn't like. 

___________________________________ 

Engaged: January 1, 2008
Getting Married: September 19, 2009

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July4thBride Posts : 381 Registered: 9/24/07
Re: All I have to say is... SERIOUSLY?
Posted: Jan 24, 2008 4:03 PM Go to message in response to: 2009ToBeMrsV

Yeah, there are definitely some of those that sort of escalate into that. The ones I've come across lately were just rude insults against someone just on the basis of what was put in the original post. Just general rudeness, not the stuff that's escalated into it.

When is my wedding 

                07.04.08   

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July4thBride Posts : 381 Registered: 9/24/07
Re: All I have to say is... SERIOUSLY?
Posted: Jan 24, 2008 4:04 PM Go to message in response to: 2009ToBeMrsV

double post


When is my wedding 

                07.04.08   

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Moderator Posts : 211 Registered: 3/31/06
Re: All I have to say is... SERIOUSLY?
Posted: Jan 25, 2008 9:38 AM Go to message in response to: Iheartweddings


Ladies,
 
Please keep in mind that this is a community for future brides and past brides to share ideas, advice and have fun. The most recent string of threads being posted does not follow this mindset and does not contribute to productive discussions (wedding related or not).
 
Please remember to keep your posts positive, respectful and allow for differences of opinion.
 
Thank you for being a valuable part of our community.
 
Brides.com

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MrsDupont Posts : 1,574 Registered: 4/14/06
Re: All I have to say is... SERIOUSLY?
Posted: Jan 25, 2008 10:13 AM Go to message in response to: Moderator
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Krissy3781 Posts : 279 Registered: 3/21/07
Re: All I have to say is... SERIOUSLY?
Posted: Jan 28, 2008 1:34 AM Go to message in response to: MrsDupont

Wow - I haven't been on this board much lately, but this is crazy!  I don't know what's been going on here lately, but I think it's funny that so many people here used to bash the knot/nest and it doesn't seem much better here anymore.

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Whitb55 Posts : 435 Registered: 12/16/07
Re: All I have to say is... SERIOUSLY?
Posted: Jan 28, 2008 3:08 AM Go to message in response to: Krissy3781

I agree Krissy. I did hear bad things about theknot. i personally just dont like the site as much so I have used this one more, but things have not been nice here either. 


I was the one who created the Friendly Brides thread. Oops. I did it because I thought it would be nice to have a place that stated up front that it is friendly. I had noticed this arguing before the past couple of weeks, which is what inspired me to make the friendly brides thread. Obviously I cannot make people be kind on the thread but I figured if the thread said friendly brides it would bring in friendly conversation. Needless to say, it worked for a while and it was great, but it got ruined. I am just surprised by how crazy people got, especially since everyone on this site is an adult. Hopefully this thread is the final one about the whole ordeal because it really is pathetic.  

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Krissy3781 Posts : 279 Registered: 3/21/07
Re: All I have to say is... SERIOUSLY?
Posted: Jan 28, 2008 4:00 AM Go to message in response to: Whitb55

Oh, I see...I like the knot - well, not the knot, I never really used that, but I love the nest.  Although I think it's more because I tend to stick to my local board. 

I do agree that the knot was hard to follow...but this is a bit hard to follow, as well - my biggest knot complaint (other than the occasional fight but that seems to come from certain people), is that you can't edit anything you say, you have to delete it.  As a habitual poster-who-doesn't-look, some of my posts don't come out quite coherent, so editing is favorable.  :)

I'm not really planning anymore, since I'm married now, I was just checking in to see what other people were doing because I have a few good friends who will be getting married in the next year and I am trying to help them. 

I'm sure it's just a phase - maybe there are a lot of people who are experiencing a ton of extra stress at the same time and that is amplifying the issue.  :)

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08jada08 Posts : 165 Registered: 12/30/07
Re: All I have to say is... SERIOUSLY?
Posted: Jan 28, 2008 8:36 AM Go to message in response to: Iheartweddings

I agree with you iheartweddings.  But I think we need to understand that some people just love DRAMA.  It doesn't matter what you say they live to come on this site and post mean comments, and if you read enough you can easily see the FEW that I'm talking about.  But I think most of us feel like you, I come here to get ideas foe my wedding  and support from the health and fitness thread and for the most part I skip all of the childish posts.  Good luck!
May 17th I marry my soul mate.

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Whitb55 Posts : 435 Registered: 12/16/07
Re: All I have to say is... SERIOUSLY?
Posted: Jan 28, 2008 2:07 PM Go to message in response to: 08jada08

I agree with both of you. I want to talk about weddings but I get a little apprehensive before even reading a thread or especially reading a reply to a thread now. I almost assume that someone is going to jump down my throat. And I dont want to argue with people but I dont want to let someone I dont even know be rude to me. 

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