Advice for Brides to be, from those who have been there...

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Re: Advice for Brides to be, from those who have been there...
Posted: Jan 25, 2008 3:12 PM Go to message in response to: Pamlin

I couldn't agree more about setting a budget and sticking to it.  Wedding spending can get seriously out of hand if you let it.



classysassysara Posts : 27 Registered: 4/13/06
Re: Advice for Brides to be, from those who have been there...
Posted: Jan 25, 2008 4:01 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

- Make sure your food TASTES as good as it looks - don't bother spending tons of money on an overly decorated cake with fondant and fake flowers, and then have it taste like cardboard inside.  Have a really elegant chicken dish with a luxurious sauce instead of 3 things that just taste ok.

- Don't be afraid to be yourself.  One bride's idea of her perfect wedding may not be yours.  You don't have to follow every "wedding tradition" such as a garter toss, a receiving line, etc.  You don't have to wear the big poofy dress if you look better in a slim sheath.  But this also means accepting who you are....For example, I tried on 6 Cinderella dresses and looked like a marshmallow - slim and strapless was what worked for me!

- It's ok to be "anal" - plan, plan, plan.  Keep your wedding events on a tight schedule, and share that schedule with the important players.  BUT be willing to go with the flow if things change - if it's time for a speech, but everyone is rocking on the dance floor, don't halt things because you have to.

- Let someone else be the bad guy.  Whether it is a wedding coordinator, a parent, a friend....let someone else be the "go to" person at the event.  It sucks to have catering staff coming up and asking you questions, or having to write a vendor check in the middle of your party.

- The rehearsal dinner is NOT a mini-wedding.  You don't have to invite everyone, you don't have to feed them a gourmet meal, and you don't have to spend tons of money.  Have fun!

- Sara at


BrideChica Posts : 2,300 Registered: 12/25/06
Re: Advice for Brides to be, from those who have been there...
Posted: Jan 25, 2008 8:58 PM Go to message in response to: classysassysara

Great idea....I'm three weeks away and the advices are coming in handy!


bridewannabe Posts : 132 Registered: 1/3/07
Re: Advice for Brides to be, from those who have been there...
Posted: Jan 26, 2008 12:50 AM Go to message in response to: RMB0414

Been married for less than a month and the main thing I can say is this: It is amazing how, after the fact, all these details seem absolutely trivial and pointless.  Instead of going through w/ a huge wedding in May, we opted for a small spur of the moment wedding out of state w/ only a few people there. The actual wedding cost $1000, total w/ trip and attire and extras was way under $5000. There were a few mishaps i.e. officiant mispronouncing my name, rings temporarily going amiss etc but I DIDN"T CARE!! I was so happy. No regrets. I still enjoy reading the boards but it seems like so long ago that I was a bride to be. Then I finally became a wife and never looked back. Best to all.


SeasideBride06 Posts : 958 Registered: 4/14/06
Re: Advice for Brides to be, from those who have been there...
Posted: Jan 26, 2008 1:21 AM Go to message in response to: Pamlin

Pick your reception location to fit your guest list, not the other way around. I drives me crazy when I see posts from Brides saying that they have to cut the guest list because the reception location is too small. The people who are there with you are one of the most important things.

Wear a button down shirt to get your hair done. You don't want to damage your hair style trying to take off a t-shirt.

Ask the caterer to pack you a couple of meals to go. You will barely get to eat and you'll be starving when the reception is over.

Through all the stress and craziness, remember that the important thing is that you're marrying the person you love. If you MIL is wearing black and three guests are wearing white and the flowers are wrong and your bridesmaids' alterations weren't done in time, so the hems are stapled and some kid knocked over the cake doesn't matter. You're getting married. That's what counts.

And yes, I was in a wedding with a stapled hem on my dress. 


misses Posts : 91 Registered: 8/2/06
Re: Advice for Brides to be, from those who have been there...
Posted: Jan 26, 2008 12:49 PM Go to message in response to: SeasideBride06

Let me add my 2 cents since I had a Destination Wedding,


2.When having a DW, your save-the-dates should contain all travel info. so people can make their arrangements. If your wedding locale is an all-inclusive please thoroughly explain what "all-inclusive" means.(You would not believe how many people don't know)Please Please Please send the save the date as soon as you book the trip and make your wedding plans. Early is the key.

3.When you pick a place for the DW, consult other brides, travel agents, and tripadvisor to find out about the resort/hotel. The one thing that drove me nuts was I couldn't pre-approve the photographer. We literally didn't meet until my wedding day and though my pictures came out beautifully this was a huge risk.(I posted them on 'the knot' because I can't seem to get to work on  'brides')

4. I agree with the others on remembering what this day is about. It's funny now, but not so much at the time, my husband and I had the biggest fight we've ever had on the morning we were leaving for Jamaica and it all started because we woke up late. By the time we got to the airport, I think we were both questioning why we were even getting on the plane. We didn't even speak to each other until the custom agent in Jamaica asked us why we visiting.Of course by the time we reached our resort and saw our beautiful suite we were back to being lovey dovey.

5. When planning a DW with a reception after you return home, remember to give your self more than one day after you return to prepare yourself. My reception in Detroit was 1 day after we returned from Jamaica and it was so hectic that the day is like one big blur.

6. and this is the final one, no matter what your budget is, if you truly want to enjoy your wedding day HIRE A PROFESSIONAL WEDDING PLANNER/COORDINATOR. My reception in Detroit only happened one day after I returned because I hired a same day coordinator. The reception was the best ending to my weeklong wedding because the island theme was carried out. There were potted palm trees, 3 different tropical centerpieces, the table linens were 5 different bright colors(i.e. some tables were orange,some were yellow,etc.),beautiful lighting, tropical ice sculpture,signature Jamaican Rum Punch. My Planner did it all with just having the location and one of our wedding invitations. All I did for the reception was pick the cake and the flowers.

I had the wedding of my dreams.


mssharp Posts : 18 Registered: 12/28/07
Re: Advice for Brides to be, from those who have been there...
Posted: Jan 28, 2008 4:14 AM Go to message in response to: misses

Spend some time alone with your parents. I had breakfast with mine and it was super special to just have some moments to get excited with them before all the craziness started.

Plan (even overplan) everything ahead of time so that you can relax on the day of. I figured if I did everything I could to make things run smoothly on the day of, when something went wrong I wouldn't get mad at myself for poor planning...just chalk it up to fate.

Don't drink before the wedding. I know some people say it relaxes you, but you want to be totally clear headed (and  not have to pee).

 If there are songs you must have at your wedding, put them on a CD and bring them in case your DJ doesn't have them. My DJ had our first dance song right, artist wrong. His boss came and brought him another copy, but it could easily have gone badly.

 And the last piece of advice (but easily the most usable) was something I read on a similar thread before my wedding about going to the bathroom: Take off your underwear, FACE the toilet and squat down while holding up your dress in front of you. I know it's gross, but way more gross to have to have a friend come and hold your dress for you four times at your wedding. Plus you need a breath of alone time in the bathroom.


Pamlin Posts : 958 Registered: 10/26/06
Re: Advice for Brides to be, from those who have been there...
Posted: Feb 1, 2008 12:25 PM Go to message in response to: mssharp



The wedding will be lovely, but it's the next day and every day after that makes me truly excited.


KatharineC Posts : 940 Registered: 2/6/08
Re: Advice for Brides to be, from those who have been there...
Posted: Feb 13, 2008 4:17 PM Go to message in response to: Pamlin

This is a really great thread! I feel like I've learned so much from it - and I am really trying not to sweat the small stuff!

Ok I'm not married yet, BUT one or two things I got from my sister's wedding:

1. SMILE when you're walking down the aisle, and make sure your Dad, or whover is giving you away, smiles too. In my sister's photos she and my dad both look really serious!

2. MAKE that list of must-have shots - now that I think about it I'd have loved a photo of just me and my sister, but we didn't get one.

3. (My own pearl of wisdom) I spend so much time on bridal sites and forums that I inevitably see ideas, dress styles etc duplicated. I'm already starting to think, "Oh, I can't have that dress, EVERYone has that dress!" or similar - but you know what? Your guests aren't going to know, THEY don't spend hours on everyday, so who cares what everyone else does? You do your own thing that you want. More likely than not it'll be the first time your guests see that - they won't all be going "OMG, everyone has pick-up skirts this season!"  Smile


When is my wedding

On October 31st 2008 I marry my One True Love!


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