Honestly, the best receptions I've been to have been mainly because the bride and groom were radiating happiness and were having a great time. They weren't rushing around trying to talk to every guest, they were just on the dance floor and were glowing. Also, the receptions where you don't have to stop 20 times to do things like the bouquet toss, then go back to dancing, then the garter toss, then go back to dancing, then sit down for toasts, dance, sit down for cake... you get the picture. Too many interruptions, and a bad flow of events. Even though the father/daughter dance and mother/son dance are important to you, realize that guests may not want to sit through 20 minutes of dancing... the best receptions I've been to have combined the two dances.
GOOD FOOD is a must. And my personal favorite for a good reception is good music. I love oldies and a lot of others do as well, so just really fun and good music.
The BEST receptions I have been to have been all of the above I mentioned, and then a live band. I actually went to a wedding where they had dueling pianos, it was so much fun, and another had an incredible live band. However this can be more pricey, but we did this and cut out other things and everyone raved, they still are and it's almost half a year later.
That'd be another thing, food stations are great and can please everyone (and they are a TON TON TON less work for you, you don't have to figure out who gets what and sort out the response cards) and the alcohol is a bit more important. Like someone else said, you don't even have to have top shelf stuff, just free beer and free wine or something like that. And I also second the not making your guests wait around for hours while you get pictures taken, if they have to wait, have appetizers and a room for them to be in.
