What do I do

Online Users: 1,271 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 8
Guest
What do I do
Posted: Nov 15, 2007 2:09 PM

So I was an avid poster about a year and 3 months ago.  I was planning my wedding for Nov of 06 and found out in May 06 that I was getting deployed to Iraq.  I got married in a private ceremony and had to cancel all my other wedding plans.  Well it has been a year and I am back from Iraq.  I plan on doing just a reception (no renewal of the vows or anything) I had 5 bridesmaids...well the whole year I was gone only 2 of them made an effort to keep contact by mail or email...I would like to honor the 2 for sticking with me through thick and thin.  Now since there is no real wedding I don't really need attendants but I would like to keep the 2.  How do I tell the other 3 that I dont want/need them as bridesmaids (they have known I have been back for 2 months now and have not made an effort to contact me) I just feel like we drifted far apart.

 

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Nikkisticks Posts : 52 Registered: 5/25/07
Re: What do I do
Posted: Nov 15, 2007 2:16 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Do you plan to invite the other 3 to the reception? I guess that would play a roll in what I would do...I'm quite a direct person, so I would simply just tell them that you decided to just limit it to the 2 girls who kept in contact with you while you were away...I'm sure they wouldn't expect anything at this point since I'm sure they know you already had your ceremony....that's if they live in the real world anyway! At this point, don't feel obligated to make it comfortable for other people, it's still your day and you have to do what you feel is right....deep down inside. Hope you have a great reception, and thank you for all you do for this country!!

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Guest
Re: What do I do
Posted: Nov 15, 2007 2:37 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Are you having any parts of the reception/party that require recognition of the bridal party (like a wedding party dance or having them were matching dresses)? 

If not there isn't a real need for a wedding party at all.  If you or your husband make a speech you could acknowledge the 2 goods friends for their support while you were deployed and possibly give them flowers.  

If you are planning on inviting the other girls, then I would just tell them that you are keeping things simpler and you would love to have them come as guests but your plans have changed and you aren't having large wedding parties. 


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Guest
Re: What do I do
Posted: Nov 15, 2007 2:53 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

The one issue that I am having trouble with is that 4 of the 5 girls already purchased their dresses BUT I went the route that each girl chose a dress that is different than the others but in the same color (the color was black) I don't feel too bad because you can wear a black dress again and none of the dresses were "bridesmaidy"

I think I like the idea of no attendants at all!


 

www.militarybride.proboards101.com

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katiemae1985 Posts : 449 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: What do I do
Posted: Nov 15, 2007 3:18 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Hey Military Bride!

I totally remember you from before. I was engaged before to someone else, we broke up and I'm now engaged to a super better guy! Congrats on the marriage and Thanks for serving in Iraq.


 

Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition. - Alexander Smith

On May 3, 2008 I will become Mrs. D!

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myra Posts : 5,550 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: What do I do
Posted: Nov 15, 2007 11:34 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I would skip the bridal party entirely and offer to reimburse the girls for the dresses (hoping, of course, that they refuse your offer LOL!)

myra at www.classysassyweddings.com

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coastiebride Posts : 1,365 Registered: 3/26/07
Re: What do I do
Posted: Nov 16, 2007 12:27 AM Go to message in response to: myra

Well it will be up to you on how you go about the reception but i do not see a real use in having BM's since you are not renewing your vows. I would think that the only thing you should do like the PP said to recognise the 2 that stuck by you during your deployment with flowers or something special a jewlery box along those lines. If you still feel the need to have a wedding party i would kindly tell the other 3 girls that they are fu**ing b**ches!! Ok enough with my hate i just dont get along with people who only care about you when your stateside other then that you never hear from them, they should care more when your over there not back here! Ok so back for real i would kindly explain to them that you are keeping this reception very small and have decided to keep it to only 2 BM and hope that they will still attend as guests and hope they understand and it would be nice but i dont know if it is mandatory to reembust them back since they are just black dresses that they will be able to wear again... your call

Thank you soo much for serving I wish you all the best of luck in your further advancement if you choice to stay in and hope that you have the ability to take some much desired and warrented leave for a wonderful honeymoon


AdorablePlanet.com bridal shower invitations

Love is a four-letter word spelled G-I-V-E

Check out my personal site :myspace.com/dixidarlinxo

Check out my wedding website too: http://jharrellandbpittman.weddings.com

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Guest
Re: What do I do
Posted: Nov 16, 2007 10:32 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

Instead of having formal attendants, just quietly ask those 2 girls to be there with you when you get ready for the party, like go with you to the hair appointment, getting nails done, doing each other's makeup, etc.  While you're getting ready, maybe surprise them with a special gift to say thank you for the support.  

I know how important it is to have friends from home support you during a deployment.  I was deployed to Afghanistan for 6 months, and had a JOP ceremony before and then a wedding afterwards.  3 of my 4 BM's were fantastic, would email all the time, etc.  One barely spoke to me (she still doesn't seem to have time for our friendship) the whole time.  I ended up keeping her in the bridal party, but mostly because I didn't want to create drama and a part of me hoped that our friendship would be renewed.  

Welcome home and thanks for serving:-)   

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Guest
Re: What do I do
Posted: Nov 16, 2007 1:44 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Thanks yall! 

I guess I don't feel so bad anymore after asking yall because they can still get use out of their dresses, but I will still be nice and ask if they want me to pay for half of the dress (if they are keeping the dress why pay for the whole thing?) I will ask those 2 to be there with me when I get ready and stuff.  Thanks yall you have been a big help!  I will have more questions once I really start planning this whole Shabang!


 

www.militarybride.proboards101.com

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