Should I be offended?

Online Users: 1,291 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 13
Guest
Should I be offended?
Posted: Nov 6, 2007 8:37 AM

Please tell me if I'm being oversensitive or not here.....

Yesterday was my bday and there was NO acknowledgement from FH's family.  No card, no phone call, NOTHING.  What really ticks me off is that I have made a fuss over every of his family member's bdays - gave them gifts and everything.

It really ticks me off that they couldn't even pick up the phone!!!  Argh.  Just venting...

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BrideChica Posts : 2,300 Registered: 12/25/06
Re: Should I be offended?
Posted: Nov 6, 2007 8:41 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

Did they maybe forgret that it was your b-day?  If they did know that it was your birthday, then I would be mad also.  But, I learned that fhs' family doesn't really care to remember.

My fhs' family doesn't care to remember when its my birthday and I am not going to announce it to them (I'm not one to remind people about it).  That's okay, I'm the better person for remembering theirs and having a card or gift for them.  In the end, I feel better about myself.


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Guest
Re: Should I be offended?
Posted: Nov 6, 2007 8:52 AM Go to message in response to: BrideChica

Yes, they definitely DID know it was my bday bc I heard FH telling them last week that we were going to be celebrating over the weekend.  That's why I think it's kind of weird and I'm ticked off about it.  I won't say anything to FH though, bc I don't want him to be in the middle of it, and I fully plan on continuing to make a fuss over them on their bdays and at the holidays.  Tongue out

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Breezer80 Posts : 94 Registered: 4/14/06
Re: Should I be offended?
Posted: Nov 6, 2007 9:55 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

I don't know, I might mention it to him. Not make a big deal about it or anything, but just say something like, huh, isn't it strange that your mom forgot to call on my b-day? Or something, and then let it drop. I would mention it because it bothers you, and if it bothers you he should know.

But that's just me ...


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Vingnir Posts : 154 Registered: 9/29/06
Re: Should I be offended?
Posted: Nov 6, 2007 10:03 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

You said that you made a fuss over their birthdays, did they make a fuss also?

Some people aren't that interested in birthdays as such, especially after a certain age.  Some people just treat themselves to dessert at lunch.


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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Should I be offended?
Posted: Nov 6, 2007 10:13 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

Dear Kas,

Do they remember each other's birthdays?

My in-laws never make any kind of fuss over birthdays, not at all. That's just the way they are. Yeah, I think it's weird, but I can't change it. My husband could not tell you, today, what are the birthdays of the other members of his own family.

If you are the only one that got ignored, then that's a different story.

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futuremrsperry Posts : 1,904 Registered: 4/23/06
Re: Should I be offended?
Posted: Nov 6, 2007 11:28 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

Happy Birthday Be-lated!!! 

Did they know it was your birthday?  I know I am horrible at remembering birthdays.  I always get them mixed up.  My poor husband.  I have to ask him every year just to make sure I have the right date!!  haha  But your FH should have reminded them.  Don't let it bother you too much.

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BriansBride2008 Posts : 814 Registered: 3/26/07
Re: Should I be offended?
Posted: Nov 6, 2007 1:22 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Ok you just said that they are planning something for your birthday on the weekend....  Then there is your answer.  The fuss will more than likely be made then...  We had a pretty big party for my birthday on the weekend before and FMIL was there and we had a great time.. She didn't call me 3 days later on my actual birthday and that was ok...  It could be they think your birthday is on the weekend, or just that they will be celebrating with you then so they will acknowledge you then....  I wouldn't be too upset about it......

BB2008 


AUGUST 16, 2008 

I AM GETTING TO MARRY MY BEST FRIEND!!! YEAH!!!

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LisaN Posts : 285 Registered: 6/13/07
Re: Should I be offended?
Posted: Nov 6, 2007 2:59 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Happy Belated Birthday!

Will you have your birthday party this weekend? Maybe they are just planning to celebrate it with you on your party? I know on my birthday, my FMIL sent me a present and a card (she lives across the country) but didn't call me on my birthday. Maybe it's the same thing? Each day passes and people sort of forget, but everyone has remembered your birthday celebration so they're going to say so then?

~Lisa

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KitKatBar Posts : 983 Registered: 7/23/06
Re: Should I be offended?
Posted: Nov 6, 2007 4:10 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I agree with some of the other ladies that maybe their just waiting to say something while you celebrate over the weekend. Either way, I'm sorry your feelings got hurt. 

 

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newsjunkie Posts : 3,417 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: Should I be offended?
Posted: Nov 6, 2007 9:57 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I would save your being offended for something more serious.  In some families birthdays are simply not big deals so unless you see them making a fuss over everyone else's birthday this may just be how they are.  And even if they do make a fuss they may not make one for you because you are, technically, not yet part of the family.  My MIL has never acknowledged my birthday even though it is the same month as hers so I know she knows about it.  It's just not, IMHO, worth starting something over.  Your FH remembered and is doing something for you and that is what REALLY counts.

Happy Birthday!  :)

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Bride2008 Posts : 3,058 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Should I be offended?
Posted: Nov 7, 2007 9:19 AM Go to message in response to: newsjunkie

I agree with newsie. I would try to let this roll off my back. But I would also learn a lesson hear. Next time, don't go out of your way for their birthdays.

 

"I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." - Billy Crystal, When Harry met Sally 


Message was edited by Bride2008 on Nov 7, 2007 9:19 AM

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Guest
Re: Should I be offended?
Posted: Nov 7, 2007 9:38 AM Go to message in response to: Bride2008

Just to clear things up - FH and I celebrated my bday this past weekend by going out to dinner.  There was by no means a party, it was just the two of us.  Last week, I heard him talking on the phone to his mom: "Sunday night I'm taking Kas out to dinner to celebrate her birthday".

For their bdays, we have gone out to dinner each time as a large group or gotten together at someone's house to celebrate (dinner, cake, whatever).

Again, not a big deal, but just strange to me that you don't call someone who is soon to be a member of your family to wish them a happy bday.  I'm over it, so it's not worth it to make a fuss over it to FH.  I'll just keep it in the back of my mind for the future....

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lori83 Posts : 1,852 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: Should I be offended?
Posted: Nov 7, 2007 10:26 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

Happy Belated Birthday!

Maybe next year your husband can invite the family out for dinner or over to your house for cake and ice cream on your birthday.

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