already have everything

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Soon2BMrsAkin Posts : 14 Registered: 12/22/06
already have everything
Posted: Aug 21, 2007 5:00 PM

Me and FH has been together and lived together for 3 yrs, we have everything that we need. Do we have to register? Is anyone else in this position, and what are you doing? Help!!! 

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EveT2007 Posts : 1,949 Registered: 8/31/06
Re: already have everything
Posted: Aug 21, 2007 5:15 PM Go to message in response to: Soon2BMrsAkin

Hi, I understand completely.  What I would suggest is that you register at a store where you like to shop, and just let your very closest family (and maybe best man and MOH) know that you're doing this only if someone insists on giving you a gift.  Ask them to spread the word, when people ask (as they will), that "your friendship is the most precious gift you can give us."

That is exactly what I told the guests who asked us what kind of gift we wanted.  My DH and I got married 3 mos ago and totally did not need anything -- we were both widowed and are still in the process of combining our 2 households and giving away loads of old belongings to charities.  On our invitations and announcements, we printed "no gifts" in the lower left-hand corner, which I know is frowned on by etiquette authorities, but we just really felt that we wanted everyone to know.  A few people still gave us gifts, and I wrote them thank-you notes immediately, emphasizing how much we appreciate their thoughtfulness and their friendship.


Eve T

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Guest
Re: already have everything
Posted: Aug 22, 2007 2:25 PM Go to message in response to: Soon2BMrsAkin

as a guest if I were told "your friendship is the best gift you can give" id still want to give a gift. in which case, you should still register.

 

we have a lot of stuff and I didn't think I would register for much but when I went through the stuff we have a lot of it is very old or rusted hand-me-downs. so i registered for new of those, and other things at the store that i dont have but always thought would be useful (like a slow cooker). its a good chance to get the nicer things you normally wouldnt buy because whatever you have still works relatively well (like our vacuum clearner with no insulation on the cord that I always felt was about to shock me, from 1960) ;)


Daisypath Ticker

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JenniferDacey Posts : 33 Registered: 7/24/07
Re: already have everything
Posted: Aug 24, 2007 9:23 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I agree with getting newer things if you've got many older items at home. We registered at bed,bath& beyond. I ordered things like nice plates (because ours are all missmatched) and coffee pot (because I need the automatic shutoff before I burn the house down!). I also put stuff up like new pillows, bedsheets, and throw pillows/blankets. I'm a photographer so I put alot of picture frames up, so I can hang up my work. You don't have to register, but it's just so nice getting presents!

Innocent


"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds..."

-The Notebook, 2004

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Soon2BMrsAkin Posts : 14 Registered: 12/22/06
Re: already have everything
Posted: Aug 25, 2007 5:59 PM Go to message in response to: JenniferDacey

Thank you for your help, to everyone. Smile

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marty08 Posts : 1,110 Registered: 7/1/07
Re: already have everything
Posted: Aug 25, 2007 7:33 PM Go to message in response to: Soon2BMrsAkin

We're not registering either...although we did have a good laugh with this one...I was thinking about registering at Lowe's..I want a fence around the whole yard and its going to be big bucks!!.  FH wants a new bedspread...dog ate ours...and he'd probably chew a new one too...FH asked what I would put on a registry at Lowes. So I said..."bag of cement, some nails, posts, panels...you know fence stuff"  FH: "you're gonna put cement on a registry??"  Well, ya, what do you want?? FH: "We should get dishes and a bedspread...I've never heard of a bag of cement on a registry!" This one just makes me laugh...it should be the other way around...I should want dishes..and FH should want nails and stuff!!

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MrsWilliams2008 Posts : 1,431 Registered: 7/19/07
Re: already have everything
Posted: Aug 26, 2007 5:58 PM Go to message in response to: marty08

oh my gosh I'm so excited to see this topic. This has been the source of many weird looks for me. I live in a fully furnished apartment, FH is living with his parents' until he graduates grad school in May, and we're moving into a bigger apartment in the same complex in which I already live in after the wedding. The only thing I can think of that we need is towels and sheets (plan on buying a king bedroom suite). I mean I already have furniture in GREAT condition, plates, pots/pans, washer & dryer, electronics, etc. When I tell people we don't plan on registering, it's almost like I said "I killed somebody". I think FH and I are going to wait and register for housewarming gifts whenever we move into a house.

Marty, that is the funniest thing!! Just this morning my FH said we should register at Lowe's for lumber and such for when we build our home! LOL.


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deltagirl Posts : 516 Registered: 12/30/06
Re: already have everything
Posted: Sep 2, 2007 9:57 PM Go to message in response to: Soon2BMrsAkin

You can have people donate to a charity of your choice in lieu of gifts. There are websites that help set this up.

If you don't know of a charity may I make a suggestion.

The make a wish foundation. They fulfill the wishes/dreams of seriously or terminally ill children. I work as an RN on a pediatric oncology unit and I see their work firsthand. They really do big gifts like sending a 4 year old to Disneyland for the first time before she passes. Its a very honorable thing - think about it.


www.brides.com/weddingwebsite/trinaandron2008

 

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Guest
Re: already have everything
Posted: Sep 3, 2007 9:26 PM Go to message in response to: Soon2BMrsAkin

We have been toying with the idea of using an online wishing well to receive cash contributions instead of receiving physical gifts at our wedding (like you we feel we have what we need). Of course we would not welcome gifts but we feel that receiving the cash could go to something more useful such as our honeymoon, car or house downpayment.

What are your thoughts?

We have been thinking of using this service: http://www.ourwishingwell.com

Has anyone used it yet?

Has anyone use any others?

Looking forward to your thoughts...

Janelle

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blndsnbrdr Posts : 131 Registered: 9/3/07
Re: already have everything
Posted: Sep 4, 2007 3:14 PM Go to message in response to: Soon2BMrsAkin

I'm in the same situation - FH and I have been living together for 3 years and have a lot of the stuff we need.  But when I got to talking to my mom about this I realized that we could definately use newer stuff.  Our vacuum cleaner is a hand-me-down from my mom because it was bad enough for her to buy a new one before I needed her old one.  And we really need some new kitchen utensils and pots and such.  I would also like some decorative stuff for our place - right now it is definately the home of two college kids!  I was thinking of registery at some place like Pier 1 and Pampered Chef - but both are very expensive so I think we have decided to register some place like Kohl's or Younkers because they are less expensive and then I can have Kitchen Aid (which I prefer to Pampered Chef).

I have another problem though - the stuff we actaully do need is large and expensive.  Like we need a bedroom set - our is mismatched and I'm using an old bed from my mom, a bed which has collapsed in the middle of the night to scare us half do death.  And a new kitchen table and chairs would also be really nice but there really is no nice way to ask for that!

I really don't think you are required to register, but as a guest it will be much easier - even if you say no gifts people will still feel a bit obligated to give gifts.  If you register register some place where you can get things that you want, rather than need - like the decorations for the house - I definately want them but I can't really bring myself to buy them for myself when I can spend that money on car payments and the likes.

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elizbay Posts : 4 Registered: 6/27/07
Re: already have everything
Posted: Sep 5, 2007 9:29 AM Go to message in response to: blndsnbrdr

I found this really cool website called aftertheweddingday.com where couples who already have everything can customize their registry to get exactly what they want. Most of the stuff is like activities you can do together with your husband -- like skydiving, dinners, out, etc. but there are a few categories where you can ask for practical things -- like down payments on your house or decorations or whatever you want. Even though they already have stuff listed, you can add anything and get whatever you want. Then after your wedding you get a check totaling the amount of the gifts with a list detailing what everyone got for you. It's really cool! You should take a look.

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elizbay Posts : 4 Registered: 6/27/07
Re: already have everything
Posted: Sep 5, 2007 9:38 AM Go to message in response to: Soon2BMrsAkin

FH and I registered at aftertheweddingday.com because we are in the same situation. One of my girlfriends used that site last year for her registry and she registered for really cool activities and stuff that she and her husband are still using/doing -- like they took surfing lessons together, went to a few broadway shows, etc. I even registered for more practical things like a subscription to the New York Times for my FH and adoption fees to adopt a dog at the Humane Society (now FH will have to let me get a dog!). The coolest part is that you can actually add anything you want to the registry -- they have a list of suggested activities for each city but it gives you the option to add ANYTHING you want. My friend said that after her wedding, she received a check totaling the amount of gifts with a list of what everyone got for her. So she and her husband just have a "fun fund" now and use that money to do that activities they signed up for. It's pretty cool!

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elizbay Posts : 4 Registered: 6/27/07
Re: already have everything
Posted: Sep 5, 2007 9:40 AM Go to message in response to: Soon2BMrsAkin

Oops -- sorry I posted twice! I'm new to this thing so I thought when I replied to someone's post it went to just that person -- not the entire forum. So excuse the double post! :(

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Guest
Re: already have everything
Posted: Sep 6, 2007 10:27 AM Go to message in response to: Soon2BMrsAkin

I knew there was people in the same situation as me, but didn't realize so many were, this is great!

I had initially thought that we weren't going to register anywhere either, but then realized that we could use a few updated items. It would also be nice to have a few new things that are OURS instead of what one or the other brought into the relationship.

Some of our items are decorative, but some are definately options that a few people could go in on as a group gift; like a new vacuum.

Since we own our house already, I've also been spreading the word that we'll gladly accept gift certificates to Home Depot!

Just remember that people some people are going to want to give you a gift no matter what and it may as well be something that you want  Laughing

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callibug9 Posts : 8 Registered: 11/3/06
Re: already have everything
Posted: Sep 25, 2007 6:01 PM Go to message in response to: Soon2BMrsAkin

I am in the SAME BOAT as you all! And I too have gotten the looks like I've killed someone! This thread has been helpful, and I am really going to check ou that aftertheweddingday.com--it sounds great!

After looking around, I do need some things--a lot of the stuff we have are the products of combining households after college--old old vacuum, futon for guest bed, old ratty mismatched towels, many cheap mismatched dishes, etc, old knives with no place to put them.

So i think i will register for some of those types of items. i also like the idea of just registering for gift cards at a place you both shop a lot. You could also register for a honeymoon, i haven't looked into it yet, but it sounds like there are many websites to do that through (just be careful tho because i heard some of them take a profit off the top!)

I think we may also register at like REI and some other kind of odd stores--be creative--most stores would love to set up a wedding registry for you even if they have never done so before--it does nothing but benefits them.

You can also register at places like furniture warehouse and people can just go online and give money toward some bigger ticket items.

My fiance thought registering was kind of tacky and like expecting gifts, but the truth is people want to and will get you gifts, so you ought to let people know what you want and need--people would rather get you something you can use! and use this as your excuse to get some things you may never get for yourself! when else will you ever have an excuse to ask for china or bedsheets, etc for a gift??!

Happy Registering! :)


Calli Cool

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