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Too Many Kids!

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callibug9 Posts : 8 Registered: 11/3/06
Too Many Kids!
Posted: Sep 14, 2007 1:36 PM

Help! I have 7 potential flower girls and 4 potential ring bearers! what should i do? i cant pick just 1 of each--parents will get offended and i dont know how i would choose anyway. i thought about making it an adults only wedding, but almost all my guests are coming from out-of-town so i cant just ask them to leave their kids behind....any suggestions??
Calli Cool

colorado , september_2008
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Re: Too Many Kids!
Posted: Sep 14, 2007 1:47 PM Go to message in response to: callibug9

Ok this sounds like it's going to be a huge wedding.... it will be fun as for 7 FG- you could use 4 for FG, 2 bubble girls (or whatever your using for your send off) 1 could be the mini-BM

RB's- 2 could carry the ring pillow both could have a hold of it,     1 can help the bubble girls and 1 could be the mini-GM and walk mini BM down the isle....

I don't know just trying to help..

I don't know about the adult only thing if everyones from out-of-town, but they wouldn't have to leave the children at home you could hire 1 or 2 teenagers to keep them...

then they could still be in your wedding. That is if you want them too. It's your day so you can do whatever you want!


I'll be a Mrs. on November 3, 2007! Woo Hoo! Kiss

 

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Re: Too Many Kids!
Posted: Sep 14, 2007 1:57 PM Go to message in response to: callibug9

Hmmm... How many BMs are you having, and how formal is your wedding?

How bout this... 6 flower girls who can walk in pairs.  2 ring bearers, one for each ring.  One "mini" bride and one "mini" groom (pick the oldest two) and then the last boy can be your train bearer.

Everybody has a job and no parents get mad!


"If we weren't all crazy we would go insane"  ~Jimmy Buffett

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ArtBride Posts : 4,841 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Too Many Kids!
Posted: Sep 14, 2007 2:02 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Unless there's one (or a couple) kids with whom you're particularly close, I think it's an all or nothing deal. You can either find something for ALL the kids to do or have no kids in the wedding party at all, so as to avoid playing favorites. I think most parents would understand that.

If it was my wedding and I was close with that many kids, I'd try to involve them all. Just off the top of my head, here's a few options:

1) Have them all be 'flower kids.' This would be really cute, but you run the risk of little boys not wanting to do the same job as the girls and the whole cootie factor. If you think the kids can handle it, this would be really cute.

2) Some combination of flower girls and 'bubble kids' or whatever you're throwing. I'd stay away from appointing one boy as ring bearer. Obviously, four boys cannot all carry one ring unless they played relay down the aisle, which I wouldn't suggest. I'd nix the ring bearer and put the boys in charge of rice or something.

3) If you're having an aisle runner, why not have the little boys roll it out before you enter? So you'd have 'Aisle Runner Boys' and then the flower girls.

4) Could they hand out programs, bells, fans, whatever you're giving to people? Or do the parents all want them 'in' the wedding?

5) Could they announce your arrival somehow? Like walk down the aisle playing some sort of instrument? Triangles, perhaps? Or ringing bells? That might be cute.

I can keep going, if you want to hear more, but they may soon cross the line into 'ArtBride's Crazy Schemes' territory. I think you should be able to come up with a way of including all the children, but you'll have to get creative and think beyond the traditional flower girl and ring bearer roles.


DaisypathWedding Ticker

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BrideChica Posts : 2,301 Registered: 12/25/06
Re: Too Many Kids!
Posted: Sep 14, 2007 6:23 PM Go to message in response to: callibug9

Why don't have kids' bridal party?  I know it sounds crazy, but its sooo cute when you have a bunch of kids as the bridal party.  You won't have the headache of a mh dissing you or not getting the dress until the last minute.  LOL


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jessd0320 Posts : 1,492 Registered: 7/4/06
Re: Too Many Kids!
Posted: Sep 14, 2007 8:45 PM Go to message in response to: BrideChica

I personally think more than 1 flower girl or ring bearer is too much, so 7? Ummm, no. But its your wedding. I personally would pick one and just let all the parents fume or go without FG/RB at all. If the parents would get that offended... well I wouldn't have any use for them, but I'm not you. And personally, yeah having lots of kids would be cute. But how well-behaved are these kids? It could get really chaotic really fast. My advice... go without. It'll probably save a headache or two.


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futuremrsperry Posts : 1,906 Registered: 4/23/06
Re: Too Many Kids!
Posted: Sep 14, 2007 11:02 PM Go to message in response to: callibug9

Because of all the kids, I would have an adult only bridal party.  It will make things easier on you.  We didn't have kids in our bridal party mostly because the only child we could have had in it was 18 months at the time and lives in Florida.  

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babagrlshell Posts : 63 Registered: 4/25/07
Re: Too Many Kids!
Posted: Sep 15, 2007 1:24 PM Go to message in response to: callibug9

I totally understand your dilemma. There are about 25 kids that belong to people throughout my guest list. So, what I am going to do is find some babysitters for the night and have the kids a separate reception with two adjoining hotel suites one side for older kids and the other for younger kids with earlier bedtimes. Pizza and pop with a babysitter is a lot cheaper than $20 for a kids version of a meal they probably won't like anyhow. I have even had suggestios to let the parents know (via my wedding website is most tactful) there are babysitters available if they want a kids free evening- this way it puts the ball in their court to pay for it... BUT I just don't want to deal with the hassle of all that, so I am doing it the other way. Plus we are having a later reception like 8p so the kids will be tired and cranky anyhow! 

As far as the RB and FG dilemma, I am only using my two godsons as ring bearers- this is my way of saying I'm not trying to play favorites... And flower girls- I have no clue at this point!  

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Re: Too Many Kids!
Posted: Sep 15, 2007 7:49 PM Go to message in response to: callibug9

I'm voting for none of them being in the wedding.

You don't have to have a flower girl or ring bearer... Actually none of my siblings had them and their wedding was just fine..

ring_bearer
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newsjunkie Posts : 3,417 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: Too Many Kids!
Posted: Sep 15, 2007 11:11 PM Go to message in response to: callibug9

Who exactly are these kids and how close are you to them and their parents?  If we are talking nieces and nephews then, yes, must find a spot for them in the WP.  I remember when my uncle got married and I was about 9 or so.  He had the RD at our house (my mom is his sister) and as they were passing out gifts they gave his FW's niece and nephew gifts but my brother and I (who were exactly one year older than each of them) got nothing.  It turned out that the bride, now my aunt (who I love and have NEVER talked to her  or anyone else about this), had her niece be the flower girl and her nephew be the ringbearer while my brother and I were just guests.  I don't know if my brother notices or cared but I definitely wished I was a part of it.  So, definitely have very, very close relatives like nieces and nephews in the wedding.  (It should go without saying that siblings gat an automatic invite.)

Moving along to cousins.  Are the cousins the kids or are the kids the children of your cousins?  Either way, are you in frequent or regular contact with them?  Are you close?  If so, ask the parents if they want their kid(s) in the wedding.  They may not even want to do it, it may be too much of a PITA with dress or tux fittings (and on kids it is extra tricky) and their kids may not be interested or may be on the shy side and may be too scared to walk down the aisle in front of so many people.

The children of friends- this is a group that, IMO, can pretty much be cut out.  Yeah, yeah, sure, their kids are CUTE (man, do I have some amazingly adorable kids in my circle of friends!) but unless you really know them I don't think you should feel obligated to put them in your wedding and the parents may not want their kids in the wedding for the same reasons listed above.  It would be different if the wedding was local but if people are flying in for it it is a whole different story. 

So, take a step back and evaluate each child individually and you will probably see that it is an easier decision to make t han you had anticipated.  Let us know what you decided and have a wonderful time planning!  :)

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Re: Too Many Kids!
Posted: Sep 16, 2007 11:53 AM Go to message in response to: newsjunkie

You can have a child friendly wedding without a flower girl and ring bearer.  If you're happy to have children attend the wedding, then I would say include them on the invitations, but don't ask any to be in the wedding.

If you really want these children to be in the wedding, Maybe you can use two flower girls, two ring bearers, and use the other three for bubbles, programs, and the guest book, depending on their ages. Then they may all be involved, but you don't have 7 children walking down the aisle.

Good luck. 


 

 I'll be a Mrs. on November 10, 2007

Love one another and you will be happy.  It's as simple and as difficult as that. 

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callibug9 Posts : 8 Registered: 11/3/06
Re: Too Many Kids!
Posted: Sep 17, 2007 6:33 PM Go to message in response to: callibug9

Thank you all SOOO much for all your suggestions!! I just found out from my mom today that there is a good chance 4 of the kids might not even be there which I will not know for sure until the family rsvp's and how the heck do you plan around that? so i think i've pretty much decided to just scrap the whole kids in the wedding party idea, and invite them all, i think i will hire like an education major from the college for cheap to help me set up a kids corner at the reception and keep them entertained. My aisle is not even that long and i hate to rely that much on th behavior of so many kids :)

I really appreciate you all!! thanks a ton!! :)

Happy Planning!


Calli Cool

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callibug9 Posts : 8 Registered: 11/3/06
Re: Too Many Kids!
Posted: Sep 17, 2007 6:33 PM Go to message in response to: callibug9

Thank you all SOOO much for all your suggestions!! I just found out from my mom today that there is a good chance 4 of the kids might not even be there which I will not know for sure until the family rsvp's and how the heck do you plan around that? so i think i've pretty much decided to just scrap the whole kids in the wedding party idea, and invite them all, i think i will hire like an education major from the college for cheap to help me set up a kids corner at the reception and keep them entertained. My aisle is not even that long and i hate to rely that much on th behavior of so many kids :)

I really appreciate you all!! thanks a ton!! :)

Happy Planning!


Calli Cool

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callibug9 Posts : 8 Registered: 11/3/06
Re: Too Many Kids!
Posted: Sep 17, 2007 6:33 PM Go to message in response to: callibug9

Thank you all SOOO much for all your suggestions!! I just found out from my mom today that there is a good chance 4 of the kids might not even be there which I will not know for sure until the family rsvp's and how the heck do you plan around that? so i think i've pretty much decided to just scrap the whole kids in the wedding party idea, and invite them all, i think i will hire like an education major from the college for cheap to help me set up a kids corner at the reception and keep them entertained. My aisle is not even that long and i hate to rely that much on th behavior of so many kids :)

I really appreciate you all!! thanks a ton!! :)

Happy Planning!


Calli Cool

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Re: Too Many Kids!
Posted: Sep 18, 2007 9:40 AM Go to message in response to: callibug9

That's a great idea having a kids corner!  And you're probably right, too many kids=too many chances for temper tantrums etc.  It seems to me when I'm around my nephews and other kids when one starts pitching a fit the rest join in!

Good luck and happy planning!


"If we weren't all crazy we would go insane"  ~Jimmy Buffett

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