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The prego, new mommies, trying, or just curious thread!!

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RMB0414 Posts : 1,386 Registered: 8/2/06

The prego, new mommies, trying, or just curious thread!!: Posted: Sep 1, 2007 6:36 PM; To save everyone from confusion..... I'm pregnant!!!

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april_2007

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MrsWilliams2008 Posts : 1,431 Registered: 7/19/07

Re: pregnancy not happening: Posted: Sep 1, 2007 7:51 PM Go to message in response to: RMB0414; As a nurse with a Labor/Delivery background let me tell you this... STOP TRYING. I don't mean that the way it sounds. But I guarantee you, those who don't try, almost always end up pregnant. Just let nature take its course and just enjoy your married life and your husband. You'll have a bundle of joy before you know it.

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JosesGirl Posts : 582 Registered: 3/28/06

Re: pregnancy not happening: Posted: Sep 1, 2007 8:07 PM Go to message in response to: RMB0414; I know how you feel. 2 of my friends were pregnant at my wedding back in January. I had to host my MOH's baby shower and then a month later, I had to go to my other friend's shower. And I now have 8 friends and coworkers that have just had babies, and I am sooooo jealous. I was on birth control pills for 10 years, and I just stopped taking them at the end of June. We've been unofficially trying to get pregnant since July, but my insurance just kicked in effect today. So now we are officially trying. I know my cycle isn't going to be normal for awhile, and it's probably going to take some time for my body to adjust and for me to start ovulating again, but I've already taken 4 or 5 pregnancy tests and every time they've come up negative. And everytime, I get depressed. My husband keeps asking me if I'm pregnant and I keep telling him I can't get pregnant if I don't ovulate and if there's not an egg in there. He looked at me one time and said "Well how hard can it be?! People have one night stands and end up pregnant from them all the time! What makes it so hard for us to conceive?!"
I've been charting every time we have sex and when my period starts and ends since the end of June. And I've been told by friends that the secret to getting pregnant is to relax and forget about charts and having sex when you think you're ovulating. Just enjoy making love to your husband and maybe even get in the mind set that you don't want to get pregnant (even though you really do) and it'll happen when you least expect it. Everyone keeps saying it will happen when it's supposed to happen, but dammit, I want it to happen now!!!
I definitely know how you're feeling. and it is depressing at times, but we've gotta hang in there! It will happen! Good luck!!!!

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RMB0414 Posts : 1,386 Registered: 8/2/06

Re: pregnancy not happening: Posted: Sep 1, 2007 8:39 PM Go to message in response to: JosesGirl; Is is depressing, and my hubby gets so bent out of shape over it as well. I know everyone tells me to not think about it, but it is so, so, so hard to not. I don't know how to stop.
I did read online somewhere about a girl who wanted to be pregnant so bad and everyone told her the same thing. So she shifted her attention to planning a trip to hawaii with her hubby for the following year. She had said that she always wanted to go to hawaii so by planning her dream vacation it took her mind off of trying to conceive. And then bam, she was pregnant.
I am trying to not think about it so much, and I do record every time we have sex and all of that.... but I am sure to not only have sex when I'm ovulating and try to make it more spontaneous.
Cycles are so weird, I have been doing the ovulation tests every morning since the day after my last period, and they still haven't said that I ovulated. Even though I am 95% sure that I did. So either, I got a cheap test that isn't accurate - I don't ovulate - or I just don't know my body (o: We'll see!!
Good luck!!

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EveT2007 Posts : 1,947 Registered: 8/31/06

Re: pregnancy not happening: Posted: Sep 1, 2007 8:55 PM Go to message in response to: RMB0414; Hi, I'm sorry you are facing this and I really feel for you. Just the past few days, it seems everywhere I go I am seeing pregnant women -- crossing the street, in the park, in the grocery store -- I must have seen a dozen pregnant women since Thursday! But I hope you can try not to get too upset at this time. You have only been married a short while. I assume you are fairly young and still have many childbearing years ahead of you? There is so much medical help available now that didn't exist when I was in my 20s and 30s.
The nurse's advice to "stop trying" could be valuable -- it does seem to be true that some women are more likely to get pregnant when they are not stressing over it. However, that is far from the whole story. When I was in my 20s people told me to stop worrying, stop trying, etc. and eventually when I went ahead and saw a specialist who took a systematic approach to finding out what the problem was, it turned out that my (former) husband was infertile. Fast forward to now -- I am in my mid-50s and still childless, because I decided that adoption was not for me and neither were the advanced assisted reproduction techniques that many couples take advantage of.
I have seen over-the-counter male fertility tests in the drugstore, but I don't know how accurate they are. I also have mixed feelings about whether it's a good idea to try them on your own. Finding out that you have a fertility problem can be an emotional bombshell if you are the type of person to whom having a baby really means a lot -- which I was -- so I would not recommend looking into the medical side of it without also having some sort of counseling to handle the emotional side. Being unable to have a baby broke up my (former) marriage (more than 20 yrs ago), and I have seen other marriages break up or go through very rough times, either because they couldn't conceive or because they didn't agree on what to do about an infertility problem. That is why I would really urge you to look into counseling if you are still trying, say, 6 months from now without success.
Now, maybe none of this will be necessary because maybe you'll become pregnant soon without any interventions. I hope you do! I'm just offering this info in case it doesn't happen. Big hugs to you and I wish you all the best!

Eve T

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Re: pregnancy not happening: Posted: Sep 1, 2007 9:14 PM Go to message in response to: RMB0414; My first child happened naturally after 6 married years (no birth control ever used) - the second child came 7 years later. I had no clue as to why it took so long - but it did! The first one happened at what we thought was a terrible time in our lives - but it turned out to be so wonderful. The second one we tried for at least 4 years before we had her. I found out through a surgery years later that I have severe endometriosis. I had some lame synptoms but not even my MD ever thought of that. My cycles were regular & not overly uncomfortable. I can tell you that while we we "trying" - sex become more of a necessary performance than an act of love. So, we had to talk it out & let it go. Do not let "trying" take you over - it can cause depression. Just do as earlier suggested - relax, redirect you mind, and ask for God's blessings..
IndyCindy

Message was edited by IndyCIndy on Sep 1, 2007 9:14 PM

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futuremrsperry Posts : 1,906 Registered: 4/23/06

Re: pregnancy not happening: Posted: Sep 1, 2007 9:38 PM Go to message in response to: RMB0414; Everyone I have talked to who have kids said they got pregnant when they stopped trying or when they were not trying at all. So stop trying.

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kennysoldwife Posts : 3,862 Registered: 4/28/07

Re: pregnancy not happening: Posted: Sep 1, 2007 9:54 PM Go to message in response to: RMB0414; Ladies, I know this is hard to hear but I will try anyway. I too was once in your shoes. I wanted a baby so bad it made crazy. It got to the point that the only time my husband and I even had sex was when it was most likely I would concieve. This went on for over a year with no success then we went on a little weekend retreat we just relaxed and enjoyed ourselves and our time together. We made love because we just wanted to make love it was beautiful. We were not thinking about getting pregnant we just wanted to have a good time together. Well we went home and just had a good time for the next few weeks dating and things like we did before we got married and two months after our little trip I suspected I was pregnant. Sure enough it was true and now I have a great big almost twenty-three year old baby. So I know it is much easier said than done but just try to relas and enjoy each other believe me in a few years you will look on this time together and appreciate it so much more when the kids are making you nuts and you two can't have five minutes alone without somebody hollaring that word "MOM"
Good luck and many happy diaper changes.

we belong together

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,593 Registered: 7/2/06

Re: pregnancy not happening: Posted: Sep 2, 2007 3:48 PM Go to message in response to: kennysoldwife; Hey Rena, I just saw this. I really need to come over to Married Life more often, seeing as how I am married and all LOL.
Anyway, I will second what everyone else has said, but also add that even though 5months SEEMS like a long time in your head, it really isnt that long at all for trying to have a baby. Although yes, some couples conceive without even trying, on their honeymoon, etc... most couples that I know who have kids ...those kids didnt come easy. It took a long time to get pregnant. I think I read somewhere that if you are trying for more than a year or so and still nothing, THEN you might want to see a doctor and look into any possible problems that might be occuring. But I think that the reason you are so frustrated is because you have had this in your head for a long time, since you were young, that you would be a mother. And I think it will happen for you. You just really need to let it happen when it wants to happen..let nature take its course. Maybe you are meant to wait another few months, or a year, for some unknown reason. Maybe you could use this time together to take a mini-vacation and spend some alone time as husband and wife. Or start saving more money for when you do have kids. Prepare financially, and try not to be so sad about it. I think this will happen for you, you just need to be a bit patient. I know that sucks to hear, andI know its frustrating...but Im just saying that I think its too soon to worry about this yet. Everyone gave great advice. Enjoy your marriage and be with your husband and let things happen. You will also know more after the doc appt ... but just try to relax, be happy, and it will come in time.

See my Advice Column and Blogs at www.brideorama.com :)

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LadyBugBride Posts : 533 Registered: 4/14/06

Re: pregnancy not happening: Posted: Sep 2, 2007 5:14 PM Go to message in response to: RMB0414; Hi Rena. My Dh and I have been going through fertility treatments for a year now, so I definitely know how you feel. The good news is that your profile says you are only 25 and at that age they say you need to try for a year before they cansider anything wrong. Did you know that in your 20s you have only a 20% chance of getting pregnant in any given cycle even when the "timing" is right? As for the ovulation kits, check the bottom of the box for the expiration date. I bought a box in February from a drug store chain and when none of them showed I was ovulating, I discovered the box had expired last November! I wasted an entire cyle on Clomid on that stupid box.
Good luck!

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RMB0414 Posts : 1,386 Registered: 8/2/06

Re: pregnancy not happening: Posted: Sep 3, 2007 5:19 PM Go to message in response to: LadyBugBride; thanks everyone for responding, I really appreciate it. It is nice to know that I'm not alone out there, even though I did know that - it's just nice to hear other women with the same problems.
I feel like a bag of misery right now and just can't snap out of my funk. It's not just the not getting pregnant thing, it's everything that has been building up.
Does anyone ever feel like they are really alone? Gosh I don't want to sound like such a downer right now - this isn't like me at all. But I'm just at my witts end with so many different aspects right now.
Number 1 being that my husband works second shift and I hate it. All this spend quality time with your husband and all of that, well he is the only person who I 110% trust and he is never home. We get Wed and Thurs night's together, of which he is in a gold league on Thursday nights. I miss him so much that it brings me to tears. I am so lonely without him, and usually I am such an independent person but when ya marry someone well he is my other half ya know. And I know that eventually he shifts will change and it will get better, but I am so sick of being here by myself all of the time.
My job is pretty crappy and I would want nothing more than to work in the school systems, but the pay stinks.
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PS - ladybugbride, I checked the exp date right after I read this - but that isn't the case (o: Thanks though, that must have stunk when you saw that!!! And yes I am only 25 and I know that 5 months isn't long at all, but it's just I think I'm so frustrated with everyone/everything right now and that is just making me that much more upset. blah blah blah!!

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RDWM Posts : 1,354 Registered: 9/27/06

Re: pregnancy not happening: Posted: Sep 3, 2007 6:01 PM Go to message in response to: RMB0414; I think it was ladybug bride who told me about fertilityfriend.com. it is a great site. it helps you chart and tells you when you are most fertile. Some of the features are free and back when I tried it you could get a free one month of using the whole program.
Best of luck to all of you who are trying.
I'm sure sorry to hear that you don't like your job Rena Marie, it is a good trade to have in case you ever need a job badly but it is certainly boring. I can't stand working in private practice like you are. I prefer retail optical so the Dr. isn't my boss. It is a more relaxed environment when the Dr. is your co worker.
Danille

"I don't want to come to the end of my life and find that I have just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well." -Diane Ackerman
Hey CC"s, we've won the last 3 weeks! Lets make it 4!

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RMB0414 Posts : 1,386 Registered: 8/2/06

Re: pregnancy not happening: Posted: Sep 3, 2007 6:10 PM Go to message in response to: RDWM; Thanks Danille, I will check out that site. It's not that I don't like my job, I do. But they take walk all over me. And I do stick up for myself and I tell them what I need/want - but it's in one ear and out the other. They have me ALL over the place. I mean I started in testing, then was moved to post surgery charts and phone calls, then moved to doing the ultrasounds for the cataract surgery, then I was in the operating room watching and helping the MD, then moved into pediatrics, then back to testing. Well I never really left testing, because in the whole 7 months I've been there - I have trained 3 girls. So I told them I LOVE pediatrics, that's where I want to be - and at first it was a oh great, they need another FT girl. Then it was 4 days a week, then my boss told another girl I work with it's only 2 days a week. So then I went into my boss last week (AGAIN) to get an "I don't know!". I don't know?!?! WHAT THE HECK!!!! And I don't make crap, so it's not worth it. I'm stuck there late usually trying to pick up after the girl I'm training because she just doesn't get it all. Or helping the doctor because god forbid someone else help out. ARGH!!! I went to school for children, I love children, as this post started out with - just give me something!? This has been going on since APRIL!!!!! I'm so sick of being walked all over ya know?!?!
So how are you doing? (o: Sorry I haven't responded yet to your email, I have been lost in thought over here....

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JosesGirl Posts : 582 Registered: 3/28/06

Re: pregnancy not happening: Posted: Sep 3, 2007 9:12 PM Go to message in response to: RMB0414; Wow....we are soooo much alike Rena. I'll be 24 in October and my husband is also working nights. He leaves the house at 8pm and doesn't get home until 8am the next day. I work 8 to 5 every day and we're lucky if we get 2 hours together a day. We got married in Jan and in May he started working overnights....and it's been hard on us, but we've stuck together through it! (He's actually going back to days starting next week!) But I do know how you feel. I cry every night when he leaves for work.
We've only been trying for a baby for 2 months but we've been talking about it since November, so it seems like we've been trying a lot longer than we actually have.
Hang in there hun! Things will get better!

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NatSeptBride Posts : 889 Registered: 3/28/06

Re: pregnancy not happening: Posted: Sep 6, 2007 9:11 AM Go to message in response to: RMB0414; Rena, I just wanted to tell you I know how you feel.... My husband and I made the decision to start trying in Jan... As soon as we made the decision I started suffering from a flare with my ulcerative colitis... Then in June we finally get the okay to try from my doctor after having a colonoscope and everything.... Well then it comes time for my physical, and it comes back abnormal, so I had to go for biopsies, and one of those came back pre cancerous cells... So now I have to go for some sort of surgery next week....

SO I can totally understand your frustrations.... We also have a ton of friends expecting, most of which are due in October.. And it's really hard to be around them... Not out of jealousy, becuase I'm 1000% happy for them, just because we want a baby so badly and it seems every time we turn around there is another road block.

I'm also doing the charting, and it's suppose to be good in assisting you to get pregnant. However my doctor did tell me that it's normal for it to take 6 months to a year..... Our best friends lost a baby after trying for a year to conceive it, and then it took them another year and a half to get pregnant. I guess if we all knew how hard it was to get pregnant we wouldn't of wasted so much money on birth control...

Try not to stress becuase that's just going to prolong the process... Good luck to you both, and keep us updated...