Honoring a Deceased Parent

Online Users: 1,321 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 21
Guest
Honoring a Deceased Parent
Posted: Dec 13, 2006 2:46 PM

Hi all!

My fiance's father passed away two years ago at a young age, and I know we'd like to find a special way to honor him on our special day.  We're having a small (12-15 guests) ceremony on the beach.

I've thought of having a chair with a flower on it reserved in his honor, and then maybe having that same flower and a small/tasteful note explaining it's significance on each guest's chair...but I'd love to hear other ideas.  It's hard to know what would be meaningful but not a downer for anyone.

Thanks! 

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Guest
Re: Honoring a Deceased Parent
Posted: Dec 13, 2006 2:58 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

That's a tough one, and one I'll have to face when my kids get married (their dad passed 4 years ago).  I think a special seat is appropriate, although I don't think a note on everyone's seat would do.  Maybe you can put just a note in the program where it gives the names of the parents?  Like Mrs. (your fiance's mom) and the empty chair beside her is in honor of (groom's name) dad, who passed away.  That way, everyone knows what it symbolizes before they take their seat.

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Guest
Re: Honoring a Deceased Parent
Posted: Dec 17, 2006 9:44 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

We are actually doing a tall thin vase with flowers in it at the reception to honor our deceased grandparents.... It is still cheerful, not too depressing, but at the same time a nice gesture to honor them.  There is an incredible site http://cathysconcepts.com That will engrave the vases with their names for about 60 dollars.  Go to keepsake and uniqe ideas, then reception ideas...  Good luck:)

 

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Guest
Re: Honoring a Deceased Parent
Posted: Dec 20, 2006 9:41 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

We are planning on something similar to this for my mother who died a few years ago.  We will place her coursage on her seat and have a note in the program, as well as a memorial similar to the one described at the reception.

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Guest
Re: Honoring a Deceased Parent
Posted: Feb 5, 2007 10:13 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

I just purchased a "Personalized Memorial Cylinder" from Weddings by Design for only $32.95 (that was the total, shipping and all).  Their website is http://wedd.stores.yahoo.net/index.html

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Guest
Re: Honoring a Deceased Parent
Posted: May 28, 2007 12:42 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

I am planning on honoring my mother who passed away by placing a single rose on a chair by my father at the ceremony and then adding a note in the program explaining its significance. Does anyone have nay ideas about how to word that in the program in a tasteful way though?? Im lost with this

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Guest
Re: Honoring a Deceased Parent
Posted: May 28, 2007 4:16 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

At my first wedding I framed a letter that my father had written to me. I found a picture of me with him when I was a child and taped it to the letter. It was so sweet. I placed it on the cake table next to our cake. That way it couldn't be overlooked. Everybody thought it was a great way to incorporate Dad. 

If you don't have a letter he wrote to you you can write one to him  and tape a picture of the two of you together on the letter and then frame it. 

I like the chair idea but I wouldn't want to keep explaining it all night and I would be too afraid that someone would accidentally sit in it.  


And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. 

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immigrants Posts : 349 Registered: 4/24/07
Re: Honoring a Deceased Parent
Posted: Jun 12, 2007 1:10 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

My husband passed away at 50 and now our daughter is getting married and I am having a hard time getting her to understand we have to honor him in some way afterall eventhough he is not here he is the one paying for her wedding. My daughter finally okayed the memorial candle with his name and her grandfathers name on it but that is it. I wanted to have a vase by the alter with one rose for each deceased person and I wanted to also put up a picture of him at the reception near the flowers and candle but when I ran this idea by my 2 sons and daughter they all said no picture because it would be morbid and make eveyone cry and be sad, but I have some time to work onit. I am having a hard time with his death ( I was only 47 ) and I guess I am just expecting too much. Good luck to all of you and honor your parents in whatever way you wish if people are going to be sad it won't be for long and the party will go on.

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Guest
Re: Honoring a Deceased Parent
Posted: Aug 9, 2007 12:47 PM Go to message in response to: immigrants

I'm having a hard time deciding what to do. My mom passed away in May, she had cancer. anyhow the wedding is in november and I want to honor her, but the wound is still fresh for everyone. i'm afraid people will be depressed or that I will be depressed on what's supose to be the happiest day of my life. and my mom would have been mad at me for that.  I wanted a picture at the reception but I was told it will just make people cry (myself included). the only thing I have planed now is i'm carying her rosary with my bouquet and her name on the program. any other ideas that won't be too much of a downer? thanks for any advice!

support our troops!

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NYBridesmaid Posts : 11 Registered: 6/7/07
Re: Honoring a Deceased Parent
Posted: Aug 9, 2007 1:37 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I've heard of brides incorporating a token of some sort into their bouquet (not to be 'tossed' obviously.) Like a pendant they may have worn or some sort of charm that represents them. That way they are close to you during the ceremony and you don't have the "Will someone squish their flower?" factor.


I think a poem or note in the program would also be a sweet gesture. 

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Guest
Re: Honoring a Deceased Parent
Posted: Aug 9, 2007 1:57 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Maybe a rememberance candle I've seen several in about every wedding catalog that is out. Be mindful though of you FH's brothers or sisters, or mother. If it has been extremly hard for them to deal with this death, they may spend more time crying than celebrating. My father's sister was re-married 2 months after  my grandfather died. Dad had to leave the reception soon after it started because he couldn't handle seeing my grandfather's photo on the cake table. Dad was pretty upset since he wasn't expecting to see it, and had traveled out of state to the wedding. Whatever you decide to do, kind of spread the word so no one will be caught off guard. Dad died almost 3 years ago, and I will not be doing anything at my wedding because I know he would not have approved.

Message was edited by Jamesgirl2008 on Aug 9, 2007 1:57 PM

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EveT2007 Posts : 1,949 Registered: 8/31/06
Re: Honoring a Deceased Parent
Posted: Aug 9, 2007 2:17 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Something nice that I read in Miss Manners years ago was for the bride and groom to go to the cemetery privately after the ceremony and lay her bouquet on the grave.  Of course this will only work if the cemetery is nearby, but I thought I would mention it.
Eve T

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Guest
Re: Honoring a Deceased Parent
Posted: Aug 25, 2007 9:17 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

My mom died 13 years ago.  For my sister's wedding, we marked an empty seat with a flower for her (and at the reception), and sis put a small picture of her in the bouquet.  She also had pix taked at the cemetary with me and Dad, at Mom's grave, before the ceremony.

 

I'm now engaged, and will be married next May.  I'll likely do something very similar during my ceremony.  I personally see nothing wrong with pictures of the deceased, or flowers on an empty chair, but I don't think I'd explain the significance - anyone who is close to you will understand the meaning.

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Guest
Re: Honoring a Deceased Parent
Posted: Aug 26, 2007 1:21 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

For my first wedding I placed a locket of my mothers in my dress close to my heart. Everyone else already knew she was gone and I just wanted her close to me. This time around both of my parents have passed and I am placing a vase with two white roses by the alter, and having the minister mention that we honor the lives of those that raised us, his parents here with us, and mine which have already passed but are watching from above!

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ChicaChels Posts : 656 Registered: 10/12/06
Re: Honoring a Deceased Parent
Posted: Aug 27, 2007 11:11 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Ny mom passed away when I was 17 (im 19 now). I gave her a ring on her 40th bday it was a sapphire (Both our birthstones) and set in diamonds. I am having my florist put it in my bouquet.
Then I am having a floral arragement in blue flowers (her fave color was blue) on the alter. Then I am having a moment of silent prayer in the ceremony (were not saying outloud for what, but it is in honor of my mom..we just want everyone to focus on that, and hopefully just pray for the wellbeing of their friends/family/my FH and i)

I didnt know my father (but he is decased as well anyway) so my biggest prediciment is wording the program. My aunt and uncle are my guardians and are paying for the wedding. So .. yeah its stressful!

 

June 21 2008 I become Mrs. Sam Kenkel :)


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