Advice Badly Nedded UPDATE

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impenelope Posts : 268 Registered: 3/28/06
Advice Badly Nedded UPDATE
Posted: Aug 6, 2007 3:07 PM

Hello and thanks to all the wonderful ladies who took the time to read and respond to my original post about my DH and leaving me.

Well, here is an update since it has been a few weeks. He has since gotten an apartment with a year lease half way between me and his work.

He has also agreed and said he has been having an emotional and alsmost cross the lines physical affair. Something physical did happen, he won't tell me what though other than they did not have sex and she did not give him a bj.  Their relationship has become very scarce in the lasst couple weeks, to the point where they talk maybe once a day, and at work. Well, so he says. 

He has also been talking to me alot and we have talked about where we go from here and the things HE, and some me, needs to do if he wants to come back home after the lease is done. He obviously has alot of crap to think about, but heck he has a year to do it!! I will not let him back without doing a couple things, one of which is he needs to see a counslor, me too, separate though, and he needs to come completely clean about everything that happened with them. I will not try to restart anything, if that is to happen, with doubts/what ifs out there!!

 

I again want to that all you wonderful ladies for everything!!!  I am able to handle things alot better now myself. I have an appt with a counselor next week, so hopefully I can start to heal!!

 

God bless all the wonderful and loving ladies of this board!!!Laughing


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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Advice Badly Nedded UPDATE
Posted: Aug 6, 2007 3:20 PM Go to message in response to: impenelope

I'm glad that you're doing better and glad to hear that you're going to see a therapist - it'll really help.

I'd definately think long and hard about whether you want to take him back, but the counselor will be able to help you work through that. The trust has been broken, so can it be repaired? I know that I'd have trouble trusting him again, but it's so hard to comment, because I've never been in that situation with someone that I thought was the love of my life. Definately take your time and work through it with your counselor.

He definately needs to see someone as well, like you said. Take your time with the individual counseling, and if you decide to give it another chance, definately spend some time in couple's counseling as well as individually.

I hope that everything works out for the best for you - whether that includes him being part of your life or not. Good luck with the counseling, and definately TAKE YOUR TIME if you decide to try to rebuild the trust. You definately don't want to take him back if he's likely to pull something like this again. Remember that you need to protect your and your children's emotional stability first and foremost. If you are at all worried, after going through your counseling, that he will repeat this behavior - it may not to worth the risk. Good luck!


Daisypath Ticker

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sstamper Posts : 621 Registered: 9/15/06
Re: Advice Badly Nedded UPDATE
Posted: Aug 6, 2007 3:52 PM Go to message in response to: impenelope

Penelope, I am so glad you updated, you and your family have been in my prayers. I'm glad that you guys were able to talk and that he knows he needs counseling. Keep your head high you sound like a very strong women which I believe you are and I know you can make it through this. May God bless you and your family and continue to heal your heart and your marriage. Whatever the out come maybe I am sure it will be for the best. I just really hope he see's the bigger picture through this and owns up to what he has done wrong. Only through that will you too find confort through healing process.

 

Sue & Marcus 10/13/07

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LochNessie Posts : 1,631 Registered: 4/2/07
Re: Advice Badly Nedded UPDATE
Posted: Aug 6, 2007 8:36 PM Go to message in response to: sstamper

Penelope, I'm very, very glad glad you updated and relieved to hear you - and your husband - are getting counseling.  I'm glad you guys have had a chance to talk and that he's admitted what he's done is wrong.  That, I think, is a very important step.  I'm so glad that you have let him know that things have to change before he can come back, that you're not just going to take him back and let things stay the way things are.

You and yours will continue to be in my prayers.

-Ness 


 

And when you say forever can't you see you've already captured me. - Mae

Good luck, Gorgeous Go-Getters! 

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