Dad the best man??

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Guest
Dad the best man??
Posted: Aug 3, 2007 12:25 AM

My fiance thinks that he is supposed to ask his Dad to be his best man. Has anyone ever heard of this? He would prefer for his brother to be the best man, but is afraid of hurting his Dad's feelings. 

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Guest
Re: Dad the best man??
Posted: Aug 3, 2007 3:10 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

The only rule I've ever heard about choosing a best man:  The groom chooses whomever he is closest with.  He is NOT obligated to choose his dad, or anyone else in the family.  He can choose his best friend.....even his best female friend (who would be referred to as best woman).  If he's really torn, he can even have two best men to avoid hurt feelings.

I would say, he should definitely make sure the final choice is a reliable person.  The best man is usually asked to take on certain responsibilities, like handing out vendor payments or returning the groom's tuxedo rental after the wedding, so choose wisely.  Oh, and by the way, my FH has asked his father to be his best man.  It's not uheard of.  Best of luck to both of you,  whatever he decides!

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cll Posts : 270 Registered: 2/10/07
Re: Dad the best man??
Posted: Aug 3, 2007 10:45 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

My FH's best man is going to be his father. Him and his father are really close so that's the first person he thought of. Why would your FH's father be upset if he picked his brother to be his best man? The decision is completely up to him, but it is not unusual for fathers to be the best man. Good luck!

Waiting for the day to be Mrs. Barnes!

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Guest
Re: Dad the best man??
Posted: Aug 3, 2007 11:13 AM Go to message in response to: cll

My FH father is his best man, also... all of his cousins and good friends had there father's as best man so he thinks he has to also! I really don't understand it , but if that's what he wants so be it!

I'll be a Mrs. on November 3, 2007! Kiss

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PALMETTOMOON Posts : 532 Registered: 4/25/07
Re: Dad the best man??
Posted: Aug 3, 2007 11:43 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

It seems customary in the South to have the father as the best man, but not at all required.

www.mywedding.com/lizandkevin

 

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futuremrsperry Posts : 1,904 Registered: 4/23/06
Re: Dad the best man??
Posted: Aug 3, 2007 2:29 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

dads can be the bm but it's usually a brother or close friend.  Is his dad expecting to be asked?  If not then I wouldn't worry about it.  We had a hard enough trying to get dh's dad in a tux!!  haha

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LochNessie Posts : 1,631 Registered: 4/2/07
Re: Dad the best man??
Posted: Aug 3, 2007 2:31 PM Go to message in response to: futuremrsperry

My FH's BM isn't going to be his father.  I don't even think that idea ever crossed his mind.  I think it's just whatever he wants to do.

-Ness 


 

And when you say forever can't you see you've already captured me. - Mae

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Bride2008 Posts : 3,058 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Dad the best man??
Posted: Aug 3, 2007 3:57 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

If he wants his brother, then he should ask his brother. There is no rule saying it must be his father. My cousin's new husband had his father this passed weekend, but he had 3 brothers and didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.


 

"I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." - Billy Crystal, When Harry met Sally 

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09bride Posts : 97 Registered: 2/10/07
Re: Dad the best man??
Posted: Aug 4, 2007 6:26 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

it is definally whoever the groom is closest to, alot of people dont include parents in the bridal party. my fh is having his dad only cause he is closer to his dad than brother the brother is still in it just...next in line

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Guest
Re: Dad the best man??
Posted: Aug 4, 2007 8:34 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

My FH's BM is his father.  He picked his father not because he had to but rather because he felt that none of his friends are that close so they don't fit that role.  Also he has 4 brothers, again none of which are close with him to be the BM.  So his dad is BM kinda like by default though that sounds worst than it is meant to.

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Guest
Re: Dad the best man??
Posted: Sep 30, 2007 1:48 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

my fh has asked his dad (though he doesn't really have that many close friends anyway) and at first i thought it a bit odd with all his cousins and all to choose from, but evidently his dad's best man was his dad so I gues we're making it tradition lol

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Guest
Re: Dad the best man??
Posted: Sep 30, 2007 1:51 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

"So his dad is BM kinda like by default though that sounds worst than it is meant to."

no worries my fh has same type of circumstance, he has two bros and like 4 male cousins, none of which he's really close too because well they're just too different and no one gets my fh. 

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DoubleGreen Posts : 285 Registered: 8/12/07
Re: Dad the best man??
Posted: Sep 30, 2007 6:43 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

I dont understand why your fiance is scared of hurting his dad's feelings when it is widely known that the best man is usually not the groom's father.

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Guest
Re: Dad the best man??
Posted: Sep 30, 2007 8:24 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

I went through this with FH too- and he said "i've NEVER been to a wedding where the grooms father is the best-man"  I am from the south (NC) and FH is from out west (OR).  Come to find out we do weddings a bit different in the south-  Example: use fathers as best man;and we are a bit more formal about things...

Needless to say you don't need to have the father be the best man.  FH's friend from childhood is his best man.


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sweetbride09 Posts : 23 Registered: 9/30/07
Re: Dad the best man??
Posted: Sep 30, 2007 9:12 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

I've never heard of someone having to have their dad as their best man unless they wanted him to be.  I would tell your fiance to sit down and talk with his father and explain that he would like to have his brother as the best man.  Tell the father that even though he will not be the best man that he still plays an important role in your wedding, the father of the groom.

Message was edited by sweetbride09 on Oct 11, 2007 12:22 PM

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