Totally want to Marry FH but his Mom & Sisters r super unfriendly

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TheeFutureMrsH Posts : 15 Registered: 4/30/07
Totally want to Marry FH but his Mom & Sisters r super unfriendly
Posted: Jul 27, 2007 11:43 AM

Have you ever seen he movie "While u were sleeping"?  the family in the movie is a bit wacky but nevertheless they were very loving.... I always imagined myself marrying into a family like that  BUT....

I've never quite made a connection with FH's mom she was always nice & sometimes I could make her laugh (she has a dry personality) so I hardly worried, FH always warned me about his older sister he told me she is 2-faced, always unhappy & very willing to spread her brew of disconent & is favored by his mom, FH's twin sister was always nice & easy to talk to but she plays both sides of the fence between FH & his mom & older sister..

Now they have never done anything wrong to me (nothing personal) but I've monitiored their actions. You see I live with FH & his mom (in her house) both sisters' live together in a condo the mom owns.... so whenever the older sister comes over to the house it's like she & the mom team-up together their personalities feed off each other & I've tried to hang-out with them & start conversations but they don't or won't take to me (it's like their in a sorority & I'm not allowed in it)

As far as the twin sister she's ok, but she can be rather moody & sometimes she's  influenced by the mom & sister so she becomes snappy.

FH told me that he can admit that his family aren't nice people & thats why he wants to live away from them (which i agree) he said after his dad passed away (1yr 1/2 ago) & his mom started to date the neighbor eveyone's personality has taken a nose dive///...But FH keeps telling me his mom & sisters do like me

 I don't always feel outcasted  I mean every holiday & on my b-day everyone is soo good to each other (well pretty much). And there's no reason 4 me to confront them on anything b/c they haven't done anything to me... it's just their attitudes & they way they go about things (it's mind blogging sometimes)

Ok so, here's my worry... I'm having 2nd thoughts on if I wanna marry into this family. I thought maybe if i opened my heart a little bit more then they would too! but I'm scared that the 3 of them would just take advantage of me.....

I really need some help or words of wisdom if anyone out there can offer any I would really appreciate it!!

 

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Re: Totally want to Marry FH but his Mom & Sisters r super unfriendly
Posted: Jul 27, 2007 3:13 PM Go to message in response to: TheeFutureMrsH

I am actually in a very similar situation. My FH's family are pretty much stuck in their ways and they don't care about anyone outside of their family. Sometimes they don't like their family either. FH"s dad and step mom don't care about FH or me and they don't care if they see him or the other children. everyone in his family is in serious debt and cannot get out of it. It's just not a good situation to be in. 

What I did, and what I would tell you to do, is look past his family and think about him. If you know that he is not like his family and you know that he loves you and you love him, then why does it matter. You can always have it so you don't see them except for holidays and random occasions. You don't have to see them all the time.  Thats what the plans are for me and FH. We are just going to separate ourselves when we get married and hope that they have better attitudes since they won't see us everyday like they do now. I would focus on you and FH and not on his family. And just know that you are not alone in this situation. Some families are just bad in general.

I hope that helped! Sorry if it didn't.

Becky 

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Guest
Re: Totally want to Marry FH but his Mom & Sisters r super unfriendly
Posted: Jul 28, 2007 9:31 PM Go to message in response to: TheeFutureMrsH

my FIL's are by far worse than any inlaws I have heard about on this site...  SO I understand being irritated by them.  Don't let them ruin a good thing between you and your FH.  It could be a lot worse...

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TheeFutureMrsH Posts : 15 Registered: 4/30/07
Re: Totally want to Marry FH but his Mom & Sisters r super unfriendly
Posted: Jul 31, 2007 11:40 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

Thanx 4 the advise, & i'm definately taking it into consideration, I should just be concerned about he & I b/c that's what counts & my mom & brother really love him & they're happy for us, it just hurts sometimes b/c i've always wanted to have sisters & I thought this would be a great chance to have something similar to that but we can't always have it all huh? Thanks again for responding I feel more confident now take care,,,,

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CaribbeanBride08 Posts : 1,474 Registered: 6/13/07
Re: Totally want to Marry FH but his Mom & Sisters r super unfriendly
Posted: Jul 31, 2007 12:34 PM Go to message in response to: TheeFutureMrsH

I have to be blunt here.  Your "worry" has be a little baffled.  You're not marrying his family, you're marrying him.  And if you're having these "worries" then maybe you should take a step back and take a long hard look at things.  I would assume that after you get married, you'll be moving into your own place so why give a crap about the family as long as you're with the person you truly love and can't live without.  There's many people out there that don't get a long with their in-laws, so what...  That shouldn't stop you from marrying the person you fell in love with.

I realize how difficult it must be for you to be around these women (who in my opinion need to grow up and get over themselves) but the best thing you can do is hold your chin up and for goodness sake don't let them get to you.  That's what they want to do.... don't let them. 

 


http://www.brides.com/weddingwebsite/tobiandbrian

 

 

Daisypath Ticker

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FALLbrideINLOVE Posts : 1,056 Registered: 3/30/07
Re: Totally want to Marry FH but his Mom & Sisters r super unfriendly
Posted: Aug 1, 2007 9:26 AM Go to message in response to: TheeFutureMrsH

you are not marrying his family.  you will have your own home and they will not be there.  think about FH and how lucky you are to have found a true love do not through it away over fear of the future

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