what do the grooms parents pay for?

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Rebekah25May08 Posts : 99 Registered: 2/7/07
what do the grooms parents pay for?
Posted: Jun 18, 2007 10:39 AM

the other day my future mother in law asked me traditionally what do the grooms parents pay for?  i looked at her and said i have no clue.  so if anyone could help me answer her question i would love it please.  thank you

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Guest
Re: what do the grooms parents pay for?
Posted: Jun 18, 2007 11:14 AM Go to message in response to: Rebekah25May08

Traditionally I think the groom's parents just pay for the rehearsal dinner.  But more and more the groom's parents (or just the bride/groom) are paying more into the wedding.  In our wedding my FH's parents are paying for the rehearsal dinner, DJ and 1/2 of the limo.
 

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myra Posts : 5,550 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: what do the grooms parents pay for?
Posted: Jun 18, 2007 12:16 PM Go to message in response to: Rebekah25May08

Traditionally, Rehearsal dinner, bride's flowers, sometimes alcohol and/or music, help with honeymoon. But, nowdays, it seems to go from nothing at all to funding the wedding. It's best to ask what they prefer and be ready to offer suggestions. Some parents decide to split the cost or contribute a lump sum, to be used as the couple sees fit.

myra at www.classysassyweddings.com

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Guest
Re: what do the grooms parents pay for?
Posted: Jun 18, 2007 1:10 PM Go to message in response to: myra

Traditionally, the rehearsal dinner was the main responsibility of the groom's parents.  I've also heard alcohol and the bride's bouque.  Although things have changed and they may pay for whatever they like, or nothing at all. 

My FMIL is planning and paying for the rehearsal dinner, and I could kiss her feet.  I love that it's something that I don't have to worry about at all, I gave her full control over planning and told her I didn't care if we did pizza at the local bowling alley as long as I didn't have to plan.  She loves helping with a major aspect and really feeling like a part of the planning process.  She also offered to rent us a limo and paid for a good portion of my wedding dress. 

I would allow your FMIL to pay for whatever specific things she wants to help with, (like my FMIL), or to offer a specific dollar amount to be put in the general fund. 

Just remember that when a person is helping to pay, you should really take their opinion into account.  I like my FMIL paying for certain things because I didn't really care much about a limo or rehearsal dinner, so we don't knock heads on her final decisions.  If your FMIL gives you a general lump sum, you may have to be willing to allow her to have a say in a few more things.


I'll be a Mrs. on November 10, 2007

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huskerbride Posts : 51 Registered: 4/26/07
Re: what do the grooms parents pay for?
Posted: Jun 18, 2007 1:28 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

My FMIL offered to pay for our honeymoon, rehearsal dinner, and bridal boquet along with some other flowers. My mom acted kind of weird when I told her taht and then she said well I don't want to pay for your little brothers honeymoon when he gets married.
Daisypath PicDaisypath Ticker

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Guest
Re: what do the grooms parents pay for?
Posted: Jun 19, 2007 3:03 PM Go to message in response to: Rebekah25May08

Check this out...it's great!  The groom's parents are supposed to pay for more than they do, but generally they pay for the rehearsal dinner, limos and part or all of the honeymoon.

http://ourmarriage.com/html/who_pays_for_what.html 

 


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MsDenuninani Posts : 3,962 Registered: 3/16/07
Re: what do the grooms parents pay for?
Posted: Jun 19, 2007 3:25 PM Go to message in response to: Rebekah25May08

The other ladies here have already nailed traditionally what the groom's family pays for, so I won't repeat them.

If your FMIL is offering to help pay for the some of the wedding, I would do the following:

1. find an area where that help would be most optimal (the bar, the flowers, a photographer are some picks)

2. decide what I want (the look of the flowers I'm going for, the price of the photographer I'd like to get, what kind of bar package would work best)

3.  Let her know what I'm considering, and tell her any help would be appreciated.  She may choose to cover part of the cost, or if I'm lucky, all of it.

The reason I laid it out like that is that I think this avoids some of the problems that brides have whith parents offering money.  If you decide to give someone else control over the budget of an aspect of the wedding, you will likely end up having to go for whatever they like/are willing to pay for.  The steps above might help alleviate that. 


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Marriage passage of the day: "Michael leaves his socks on the floor when he takes off his shoes after work. This used to be fine. But now a sock on the floor isn't just a sock on the floor. It's a sock on the floor for the rest of my life." from "Otherwise Engaged: A  Novel" by Suzanne Finnamore

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BenjaminsWife Posts : 1,069 Registered: 1/11/07
Re: what do the grooms parents pay for?
Posted: Jun 19, 2007 8:18 PM Go to message in response to: Rebekah25May08

For our wedding...my FILs are paying for the DJ and the Photographer... but traditionally, they pay for the flowers, honeymoon, and reahersal dinner.
The Big Day: 9/20/08

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