I have been with my boyfriend for a little over 4 years. I am 20 and he is 21. For the past 4 years he has always told me that as soon as we can get married, we would. I moved in with him about a year and half ago (we lived at his Dad's house). We now have an apartment together and we are much happier (little to no family drama). I have been hinting (and at times flat out stating) that I want to get married. He proposed to me once before, about a year ago. He even went to my Dad and asked for his blessing. Now I know that doesn't sound like a big deal to some but my Dad can be very difficult and my boyfriend gets very nervous very easily and his nerves can make him physically sick. So any ways, after asking for my Dad's blessing, he told me to tell my family that we are getting married and my family was surprisingly supportive (they are rarely ever supportive of me). Then shortly after he tells me that he's changed his mind and that he's not ready. Then I find out that for the past 4 years he only told me he would marry me as soon as possible because he thought that's what I wanted to hear. His excuse for changing his mind is that he feels he's too young to get married, which I can understand. What I can't understand and won't accept as an excuse is that he went on to tell me that another reason is that both his dad (the man who just can't be with only one woman at a time) and his uncle (who can be very self involved) both got married in their early 20's and got divorced. Am I wrong for thinking he shouldn't base our situation on other people? I guess I just feel like after all this time he should know if I'm the one. By the time we would actually be married he would be 22/23 and I would be 21/22 y.o. What's even worse is that because I told my family that we were getting married and then had to go back shortly after and tell them we're not, I constantly have to come up with reasons why "we" decided not to. Both my mother and Grandmother can't understand why we aren't going through with it. It hurts having to make excuses that aren't true to what I'm feeling about the situation (and yes, I do have to lie in order to keep the peace about our relationship). I don't want them to think he's a bad guy for it b/c he really is a wonderful man.
Sorry this is so long and thank you to any one who sat there and read it all!!!
I just really could use advise! Thank you!
