Sis or Best friend MOH? My sis threatened to not be in the wedding! help

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Exit99 Posts : 173 Registered: 3/31/07
Sis or Best friend MOH? My sis threatened to not be in the wedding! help
Posted: May 5, 2007 4:54 PM

Ok, So I got engaged and immediataly asked my sister to be my MOH....We are close, actually twins......things have been going good but every time I bring up the wedding we get into a fight....its kinda causing alot of drama...I actually would like to ask my best friend to be my MOH and have my sis be a bridesmaid...i kinda felt obligated to ask my sis to be the MOH in the first place.....plus three different times my sis has gotten made at me for something and threatened to not be in the wedding.....this isnt how MOHs should be????

So, do you think it is ok to have my best friend be my MOH and then my sis be a bridesmaid?? even though I asked her first.  It seems like it will make all the drama go away and let the fun start? what do you think? 


Live Laugh Love...and never stop

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NewMrsSass Posts : 722 Registered: 12/31/06
Re: Sis or Best friend MOH? My sis threatened to not be in the wedding! help
Posted: May 5, 2007 5:39 PM Go to message in response to: Exit99

Is your sister married already? Does she have a fiance/boyfriend? Or is she completely single?  If single, she may be jealous that you are getting married and that she is not; maybe she is trying to pick fights with you.  What did you two fight about? I can understand her getting peeved if the first thing you said to her was "Okay MOH: go plan my bridal shower PRONTO," but I am sure that was not the case.  And if your best friend is single too...from reading these boards, you might just be stuck with the same crap from her. 

I suggest talking to your sister about the issue first (not during another fight).  Ask her if she has a problem with your impending wedding (don't accuse her of being jealous, even if you two do start fighting...that will REALLY set her off), and then ask her if she really wants to support you and be your MOH.  Tell her how upset you are when she threatens to not be in the wedding.  And try to explain to her that you REALLY REALLY REALLY want HER to be your MOH, but if she doesn't want to, you'll be forced to ask your BF instead.

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2007wxbride Posts : 35 Registered: 7/6/06
Re: Sis or Best friend MOH? My sis threatened to not be in the wedding! help
Posted: May 5, 2007 5:49 PM Go to message in response to: Exit99

If you strip your sister of the MOh title, you are looking at a whole other level of drama.  That will be a HUGE ordeal in your family and may be something you want to avoid.  Feelings will be hurt and your relationship with her will be damaged beyond repair.

Yes, your sister sounds like she's being a snot, but maybe she is a tad jealous you are getting married.  My FH decided he no longer wanted his sister to be a bridesmaid for some problems he was having with her, after he demanded that she be included when we first got engaged.  She has been a tee-total witch since.  Let me tell you, it is something you do not want to experience.  If I could do it over, we would have kept her as an attendant.

Perhaps you could have two MOHs, depending on the size of your bridal party, giving more duties to your friend.  I have seen this before and all of the girls seemed happy with it.  Good luck with your decision, just remember that your wedding is one very special and important day...but is it worth damaging the precious relationship with your sister?

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Exit99 Posts : 173 Registered: 3/31/07
Re: Sis or Best friend MOH? My sis threatened to not be in the wedding! help
Posted: May 5, 2007 6:56 PM Go to message in response to: 2007wxbride

Thank you....My sister and I are very close....We just are about exactly the same, so fights happen....she has been dating her boyfriend for 7 years and I've been with my Fh for 8 years....

I dont want to get her upset or my friend. It just hurts really bad when my sister uses the wedding against me when we are in a fight. My friend is married, and I mentioned to her my delimma...she is very supportive and whichever I choose....it just sucks to be arguing i guess


Live Laugh Love...and never stop

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BrideChica Posts : 2,300 Registered: 12/25/06
Re: Sis or Best friend MOH? My sis threatened to not be in the wedding! help
Posted: May 6, 2007 12:26 AM Go to message in response to: Exit99

Wait a minute, did you just say that your friend is married? 

If you said yes, therefore she can be your matron of honor.  That's if you want to have two maids of honor--without hurting your sisters feelings. 


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futuremrsperry Posts : 1,904 Registered: 4/23/06
Re: Sis or Best friend MOH? My sis threatened to not be in the wedding! hel
Posted: May 6, 2007 3:58 PM Go to message in response to: Exit99

Well Your sister may cause drama regardless.  I would put her as a BM and your friend as the MOH.  But, to eliminate all drama, you could exclude your sister all together.  Just a suggestion.

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RMB0414 Posts : 1,386 Registered: 8/2/06
Re: Sis or Best friend MOH? My sis threatened to not be in the wedding! help
Posted: May 6, 2007 4:16 PM Go to message in response to: 2007wxbride

I couldn't agree more with 2007wxbride.  There were a couple of things that came right into my head, one that she is jealous.  And two that you should have them both be your MOH. 

I had a maid and a matron, there was no way I could pick between the two of them.  My matron did a ton for me and my maid was jealous about me getting married.  She is also my cousin so I would hear about things she would say to her mom.  Some examples being that now her and I aren't going to be able to do the things we wanted (move to the city together, etc), that she wants to get married too, that she will always be my wife (we have these nicknames given to us by one of her ex's, he would refer to us as wives lol), and stuff like that.  I got really fed up with her throughout our year engagement and wanted many times to tell her to just not be in the wedding.

But I stuck it out with the both of them, and come the day of the wedding she stepped up a lot.  I was/am very happy that I kept her in our wedding, and I think that if you were to have your sister, your twin sister that is, not involved in your wedding or have her step down to a BM that would cause a whole lot of drama. 

When it is her turn to get married, I am sure she will realize a lot more and how she acted.  But she's your sister, and she will always be your sister regardless.  Am I making sense or just rambling?? (o:


Daisypath Ticker

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: Sis or Best friend MOH? My sis threatened to not be in the wedding! help
Posted: May 6, 2007 5:05 PM Go to message in response to: RMB0414

Youre making perfect sense Rena, and I agree.

Have your sister as MOH, and ask your friend to be Matron of Honor. Since your friend is the one being supportive, you can keep her updated on how your sis is acting that week lol. This way, your sister still gets the MOH "honor," but so does your friend. Hopefuly, sis wont cause any drama, and both important people in your lives can play a part on your wedding day.


Kelley Lynn:)

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britnicarlisi Posts : 43 Registered: 9/21/06
Re: Sis or Best friend MOH? My sis threatened to not be in the wedding! help
Posted: May 6, 2007 6:16 PM Go to message in response to: Exit99

I would choose ur best friends because it seems like ur sister gets mad really easy. She is saying if shes not MOD then she doesnt wnat to be in the wedding...well lets say she gets mad at something else when she is MOD and doesnt want to be in the wedding. I would choose whoever u feel is right and chances are if you choose ur best friends although ur sis is saying she wont be in it...she will eventually get over it.

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