People who did not send wedding gifts

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xNikkiHeartsMikex Posts : 341 Registered: 2/19/07
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Mar 21, 2007 12:37 AM Go to message in response to: newsjunkie

I didn't miss the point, nor do I blame a couple for being a bit perturbed that someone just showed up, drank their alcohol and ate their food, and didn't leave so much as a hand scribbled note of congratulations and a thank you for inviting them to party.

I just happen to have a different way of looking at it, and while I know there will always be "those guests" that somehow make a big breach of etiquette, I just know that to outsiders the ungracious/angry bride can look far, far worse.

I've always been a proponent that everyone is entitled to feel the way they want concerning these matters.. I merely voiced a differing opinion on the subject. 


imghttp://www.tickercentral.com/view/7xoe/1.png[/img]

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newsjunkie Posts : 3,417 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Mar 21, 2007 10:23 AM Go to message in response to: xNikkiHeartsMikex

Actually, you DID miss the point.  Nobody here was acting like an ungracious or angry bride towards ANY of their guests- the ones who gave gifts and the ones who didn't.  We were commenting on some people's rudeness HERE to each OTHER.  "I merely voiced a differing opinion on the subject."  Sounds pretty condescending, snotty, and like a know it all to me. 

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LizS Posts : 1,982 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Mar 21, 2007 2:04 PM Go to message in response to: newsjunkie

Okay, we all know that everyone has different views on this subject.  That's fine.  To each their own.

However, it is completely immature to keep posting comments about a post that was started over 3 months ago! Grow up and move on already!!!


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Guest
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Mar 21, 2007 2:32 PM Go to message in response to: LizS

Deleted that post.  I wasn't trying to offend anyone, it was just my opinion.  Anyway, I obviously got off to a bad start, so I won't be posting here again.  Best wishes.

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LizS Posts : 1,982 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Mar 21, 2007 4:47 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I was not talking to YOU directly, Becca.  I was merely talking to everyone that keeps talking about this post.  It's just getting annoying!  I am sure I am not the ONLY person that feels this way.

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Guest
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Mar 22, 2007 10:53 AM Go to message in response to: LizS

Geez June stop freaking out. You are getting your panties all in a wad over nothing.

You know our BM did not even get us a card, but then took us out to a nice dinner about 2 weeks after. His GF was another story. She is not t he sharpest crayon in the box (catch my drift?) But we had our wedding and reception in the SAME ROOM> well, she missed the ceremony and the appetizers and the enterance and the first dance. She showed up as dinner was being werved (sit down meal) and ate, had some drinks...and then left! She had to pack she was moving in 3 weeks! WTF...ummmm ok. (Moving to a different apartment...not a differnt town or anything) and then when she said bye to me (all she said all night) she said I'll see you later tonight at your house! WTF...my wedding night? Well, I din't know id DH had invited them over...so I said "ummm ok.." and then I invited my friend and her boyfriend over since I didn't want to be stuck alone to have to talk to this girl (who you CAN NOT hold a conversation with) alone. Well...the bitch never even showed up. We had guests (my friend, her BF, the BM, and one of DH's friend and his roomate) on our wedding night all becasue of her and she never showed! And NO DH didn't invite them over in the first place!

Talk about some nerve. But then again this is also the girl who called me THE DAY BEFORE MY WEDDING at about 3pm to ask "So did you get a dress yet?".....WTF. and "Can I come to the rehersal dinner?"....Ummm I don't think so nut bag and YES I have a damn wedding dress the day before my wedding!! LOL...some people!

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xNikkiHeartsMikex Posts : 341 Registered: 2/19/07
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Mar 23, 2007 1:56 AM Go to message in response to: newsjunkie

Newsjunkie, I really hope that next time before you post such a hurtful thing you stop and think about what the person you're responding to was trying to say. If I wanted to be mean or condescending towards anyone on here I certainly wouldn't have done it that way. It saddens me that you'd post such a mean thing when I've seen you be so nice in other posts. Nothing I wrote was directed at one person in particular. It truly was a single viewpoint that was a divergence of opinion, and if you continue to have a problem with that I am sorry but not sorry that I have made up my own mind on a subject.

In response to Gin.. Holy cow!!! I hope you never saw that girl again, because I know if I had.. grr! At least the best man tried to follow etiquette well, etc... his girlfriend though, jeez! Some people really are clueless! 


Message was edited by xNikkiHeartsMikex on Mar 23, 2007 12:58 AM

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nicolesybrant Posts : 1,359 Registered: 10/4/06
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Mar 23, 2007 2:17 AM Go to message in response to: newsjunkie

Newsie, I know what you mean!  I think next time one of them has a baby or some other big thing you are supposed to send a gift for...maybe just a card would be sufficient.  Haha.. I can totally understand where you would be hurt...these are your close friends!  And your aunt and uncle??  Sad, some people really just dont have any manners. 

I cant seriously believe that a post about a bride feeling hurt that she didnt get so much as a card from a couple close friends and family, has turned into this.  Everyone, take a huge breath... and let the woman vent! Be nice!


 Nicole, Future wife to Aaron

May 1st we leave this island, and go back to Minnesota!!!

 

 

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LizS Posts : 1,982 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Mar 23, 2007 10:14 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

We have very close friends, some of whom were in the wedding, that got us nothing.  No present, no card, nothing.  Yes, I was ticked at first, but I just figure what goes around comes around.  I will never say anything to them, but I just plan to give them the same when their wedding and babies come around.  I just thought a few girls on here were getting a little out of line and it was getting a little annoying.

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Guest
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Mar 23, 2007 10:32 AM Go to message in response to: LizS

But people can say what they want to say so it is best to leave it alone so you don't end up having things directed towards you. It's not that big of a deal...people disagree!

Yes, I have seen that girl since my wedding. She is still dating what was our BM which is a very close friend of mine and DH's. She is just a clueless person. You know how sometimes you will run into people who have that blank stare and you are not sure if they are getting what you are saying...well she is like that! I try not to be around her because I don't want to be mean, but I am afraid I will (not intentionally) but I have no patience for stupidity. And I am pretty easy to get along with. If you can hold a conversation! LOL...

But yes it is incrediblt rude in every sense of the word to attend a wedding and not AT LEAST give a card. I mean you are eating, drinking, and being entertained for free...and you can't stop by the corner store and pick up a 2$ card...come one.

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cyndi33 Posts : 2,585 Registered: 1/3/07
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Apr 3, 2007 12:49 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

yes, it is rude but it always happens.  I am guessing it does anyway.  For us, it was the cousin who brought 7 people (2 were invited) and then gave us $10...but their daughter is getting married in May, so we will send them their card and $10...but don't plan to make the 6 hour drive to attend.  They were also the guests who showed up 1 hour early which meant we couldn't do any of our preceremony formal pictures either.  Then, when it took about an hour after ceremony to get them done...so we let everyone start eating ahead of when we came down to the reception so they'd be more comfortable, they are also the guests that complained because it took too long fo rour pictures AND because they didn't know every guest there!!  They comprised 1/4 of the guests, and yes, todd had 3 couples from his work there and I had 1 friend from previous place I lived plus my mom, brother, his GF and my kids...but come on people...this wedding was about us, NOT you...

We won't say anything and it sure didn't bother us at all during wedding/reception, and frankly, really doesn't bother us now.  But the lack of manners, etiquette or even class is noticeable... :)  It would hurt our feelings much more if it were a close friend or relative, though.

DH's parents really made up for that, though.  As a surprise, they paid for the entire rehearsal dinner...we had definitely not planned on that as it was our 2d wedding, but it was super sweet of them PLUS they gave us a card and cash for honeymoon. AND on top of it all, Dh's mom's mom (his grandma) passed away the day of the rehearsal (she had alzheimers) and they didn't say one word about it to me, not anyone, until after the wedding and assured DH taht they definitely did NOT want him to postpone anything.

they are truly amazing, kind, generous, fun, terriffic parents in law...and I am very, very happy to now be an official member of their family. 

after reading some of these, I guess for the most part our guests were pretty great. 


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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Apr 3, 2007 2:03 PM Go to message in response to: cyndi33

Wow Cyndi, that is sooo sweet what your Dhs parents did, and so sad about the Grandpa. But what a nice selfless gesture on their part not to say anything to you both. We had something VERY similar happen during our wedding. My uncle and his G.friend, who Im very close to, flew in from California for my NY wedding last october. They arent married,but have lived together for over 10years, are in their 40s, and we all consider her like our "aunt" and part of the family. Well anyway, they flew out here, stayed in the hotel with us, went to the reh. dinner, the wedding, the morning after brunch... then spend the day with us in NYC and took us out for dinner, we went to a show,etc. They were here for about 5 days total... well when they got back to California, my mom called me and said she didnt want to worry me, but she had something to tell me that was really sad. Turns out that Peggy, my "aunt".. had just found out 2days before my wedding that she had to have a lifethreatning tumor removed from her brain. Apparently she was feeling awful ,numb,didnt know why... she went and had some tests done, and she had I think an anurism inside her brain and her surgery was scheduled for the week after my wedding. They came anyway,and she said to my mom "dont tell kelley..i dont want anythign spoiling her wedding day and thees no reason for her to worry." So they were both stressed as hell, sad, and going through all that creap the whole week,and we didnt even know. That just makes me so emotional when I think about it... its so selfless ya know? She had the surgery and recovered nicely thank god, and so far she is okay.

But then you have clueless people like you described..who give you $10!!!!! TEN DOLLARS??!!! lol thats just funny. Some people are beyond clueless.

But Its the selfless kind ones tha tyou dont expect that often make up for hte other ones. At least to me.


Kelley Lynn:)

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cyndi33 Posts : 2,585 Registered: 1/3/07
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Apr 3, 2007 3:31 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

yes, I agree Kelley Lynn, and I'm so glad your aunt is ok.  How awful for them to go through that!!  So good they found the aneuryism though...my cousins husband died from one, suddenly, at the age of 32!!  It was a hideous funeral...so, so sad.  Anyway, yes, it's those selfless kind people that delete the effects of the rest.  And yes...a whole $10...reminds me of christmas vacation where the one grandma wants the kids to rub her corn on her foot and will give them a whole quarter for it!!  :) 

We actually found out things later, from before, during and after the wedding, that our friends and family saw, took care of and solved, while the whole time keeping me and Todd feeling like everything was running perfect and smooth...and so, the result was that it did!!  Everyone was so great and did so much and were just super happy and amazing with us.  So glad we didn't go get married in jamaica but had family/friends all together.  So doesn't happen with my family especially and the whole week end was just forever memorable!!  Even though we all (yes me too) were sick, everyone was better by Friday.

 


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newsjunkie Posts : 3,417 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Apr 4, 2007 1:37 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

Wow!  So glad to hear she ended up doing OK but that was a big thing to keep from you- and extremely nice of them to do that.  I found out afterwards that my cousin's wife who was a bridesmaid got laid off a couple of weeks before and she didn't say anything about it.  We aren't that close because there is a language barrier (English is her second language and she does great but isn't perfect so it is hard to converse with her sometimes) and I just plain live far away so she isn't someone I speak to daily but I do like her a lot and thought she would enjoy doing it and she did.  I felt terrible for her when I found out... but am glad that I found out after.  I had a LOT to worry about with my health and stuff on top of the wedding (which I planned mostly by myself and others turned out to not be quite as helpful as I thought) so I'm glad I didn't have to worry about that, too, at the same time.

This talk of rude behavior reminds me of something that happened that I haven't told anyone yet.  We had a small wedding- 62 total- in Savannah and had hired trolleys to give all our guests guided tours from the hotel to our venue (about a 15 minute ride).  Well, our dj was horrible (whole other story) and didn't do a great job of keeping things moving.  Plus, DH's family is much older and wayyyy more conservative than mine and they weren't into doing anything more than showing up, eating, and leaving as soon as they could.  Well, at one point about an hour before we expected to end the reception my MIL, her two sisters, and pretty much the rest of the family- about 1/4 of the reception- gets up and decides to leave!  It wasn't even 8PM so it's not like it was a late night.  My mom had to beg them to stay a few more minutes because they would have tied up one trolley for a long time (they had to drop some off at a different spot) and our guests would have been left hanging plus they were leaving before we had done everything!  On the spot we decided to finish things up and do our last dance since people weren't dancing that much anyway and we had already eaten and cut the cake and things were dying down but I could not believe that they were leaving like that.  I know I am not explaining it very well but trust me when I say that it was extremely rude what they were doing.  I have never said a word to DH and I am pretty sure he had no idea and he doesn't need to know.  He already knows that his mom is a nightmare and that is enough.  If he knew that his mom did something on our wedding day he would be really upset and it just isn't necessary.  However, I am aware of it and I cannot believe it!  Frankly, I am shocked his side even showed up.  They couldn't possibly have seemed less interested in all of it even though they barely had to travel- his side drove 2-4 hours, spent one night in a hotel and mine had to fly and spend 2 nights and not one of THEM complained.  I swear, if I had to do it again knowing what I know now I wouldn't have accomodated them as much as I did (which was a lot)...  Live and learn, I guess...

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Jenschke Posts : 6 Registered: 11/3/06
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Oct 19, 2007 10:50 AM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

I think I can top some of these rude gift giver stories.  I got married last weekend and a friend is getting married this weekend.  My husband and I got them a nice gift weeks ago (we'll be unable to attend) and they attended our wedding and haven't sent a thank you note for their gift or given us a present for our wedding.  Talk about hurt feelings!


How many wedding gifts do you think is normal?  We invited 200 people, 150 came and we've reclieved a total of 60 gifts (including 2 showers).  I don't mean to be greedy but, is that normal?  It's less than  I had expected.

Mrs. Jenschke

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